"There's nothing special or important thing happened in your life before the accident, Yula. So if I were you, I wouldn't even bother to think about my past. I and Papa are both farmers. We are poor. If there's anything we can consider special, that is when you became the mayor's mistress," my brother casually said.

I pursed my lips as I tried to decipher his words. Why did I do that? I've been hearing about this many times but I can't make myself believe in any of those rumors. I can never accept that I once ruined a family. I heard that the mayor has three children and his wife has a chronic disease.

Why did I let that happen? What was I thinking?

Whenever I try to remember anything, even just a bit from my past, I never succeeded. It just gives me a severe headache.

"That was a long time ago, Kevin. It was your sister's mistake. We should forget about that." My father emphasized each word.

"What? I didn't say anything! It was not my intention to offend her. I'm just trying to tell you, Yula. And besides, when you became his mistress, we were able to pay our debts! We were able to buy two carabaos! You know what? I've been thinking that if ever you weren't got into an accident, we might have been living in a mansion right now. But well, life sucks."

I didn't bother to say anything after what my brother said. His words kept on playing in my ears, almost making me feel awful.

I couldn't even get my eyes off the pictures that were hanging on the wall. There was a picture of me when I was five years old. Even the day when I graduated from senior high school. I always stare at these pictures everyday, hoping that it would give me even just a glimpse of my life before.

I spend most of my time making colorful crochet pouches. Because I do not have anything to do, I thought of something that would entertain me and make profit out of it. I searched on the internet the things which are easy to learn, and crochet pouch caught my attention. I watched tutorials until I perfectly learned how to make one. And now, it somehow became my small business.

"I just can't believe that you accused Rael! Does he look like someone who would break into someone's house? My god, Yula!" Lucille laughed annoyingly.

I pouted. "I don't know him personally, Lucille. And that was the first time I ever saw him," I said defensively.

"Well. I can't blame Yula, though. We couldn't tell just by someone's appearance if he's capable of commiting a crime. Even if they're ugly or not!" Nessa shrugged.

I didn't say anything. I continued crocheting a small pouch.

"But Rael is such a hottie, right, Yula?" Nessa smirked at me.

I furrowed my brows. "I'm not even thinking about that."

I don't care about people's physical appearance. If you're beautiful, fine. If you're ugly, it's even more fine!

"What do you mean you don't think about it? I don't believe you! Why? Do you like Simoun that much that you don't even find any other guy handsome anymore? My gosh! I'm sorry to say this but Simoun is worst than a monsoon!"

"Simoun is kind, Nessa."

"Of course, he would only show you his good side! But I know and I can feel it that he looks down on people like us! Don't you see it?"

"But you and Rael would be a perfect couple, Yula," Lucille muttered all of a sudden.

"What are you even talking about?" I felt a bit uncomfortable about what she said.

"Nothing. I just thought about it." She was still smirking at me.

I just laughed it off.

"You should sell these online, Yula! I'm sure a lot of people will appreciate it. They are so beautiful. Look! I love this one! I will buy this."

I've also thought about posting my products online but I'm still hesitating. I know that selling online has a lot of pros and cons, and the process is a bit complicated for me. Our neighbors buy my products and some of my mother's friends. I can only sell few because I'm the only one who makes these.

I saw a cute image of a bear on the internet. I became determined to make my own little bear crochet pouch.

It was kinda hard for me to follow its small diagram. I really wanted to finish it but I failed twice. I ended up starting from scratch to make my own pattern.

I sewed the bottom of the two ovals together with a long strand of yarn. I left a small yet enough space for the mouth and nose after sewing the buttons on the bear's face. This resulted in an adorable bear pouch. This is designed to hold phones but also works for other small items.

Probably around next week, I will sell these.

"How have you been, Yula?" That is what the owner of the store always says whenever she sees me.

"I'm doing great," I responded quietly because I do not even know how I feel.

"Do not worry, dear. God will never leave you. You will remember everything when the right time comes. Just have faith in Him."

All I can do was to offer her a smile. I muttered a small thank you when she handed me my change.

It was still six o'clock in the morning. The rising sun emitted a rosy hue across the sky.

"Good morning, Yula! What did you buy?" Nestor greeted me with a smile while sweeping their garden.

"Good morning! I just bought coffee and few eggs for our breakfast."

"I see! Don't forget your birthday gift for me, okay?" He was referring to the crochet pouch.

"Of course, I won't."

It was just a short walk as the store was not that far from our house.

I walked slowly when I saw the house that's almost across ours. I can't help but look at it.

A very tall man was topless. It was Rael, Sol's nephew.

He was trim build, not overly muscular with a disheveled dark brown hair. His complexion was warmer than gold. And like any other day, I noticed that he was watering their plants.

Embarrassment filled me whenever I think about what transpired few days ago. I feel so ashame that I accused him. My parents were disappointed when they heard about it. They said that Rael is such a nice guy and will never do such thing.

They said that it was probably some dude who has nothing to do in life.

I already apologized to Rael for what happened. He was not mad nor anything. He said that he understands. But recently, I can feel that he's been trying to avoid me.

I saw his aunt who just got out from their house. She was holding a cup. I think it was a coffee. When she saw me, she waved her hand and smiled. I responded in kind.

My gaze turned, once more, to her nephew. He was still looking at me so I smiled a little but I felt cold when he didn't reciprocate it. His gaze remained cold and impassive. I felt a bit of awkwardness.

He was so rude.

I just avoided his eyes and continued walking.

I thought that I would have a peaceful sleep tonight but I was completely wrong. I never expected that I would have this kind of dream after dreaming about a certain name recently.

But this time... it was not just a whisper.

It was a man.

I couldn't see his face. The only thing that was vivid to me was the dark woods. I do not understand what was happening. I do not understand why I keep on running... away from the man.

My heart was throbbing in my ears. I wanted to scream but something was stopping me for my mind was clouded with fear. The beast holding me captive took control of my entire being.

All I want was to get away from him. But it feels like I cannot able to escape from him even how fast I tried to run. He was just standing there, watching me, while I keep on running and running... and running. Our distance remained the same. Everytime I look over my shoulder to see if he's gone, he was still there.

And the gun that he was holding was the only thing I could remember.

"Where did you get those?" I asked, confusion filled my voice. A bouquet of blue and red roses was placed on our table. There was also a small pink teddy bear beside it. I just woke up and those were the first thing I have noticed in our small living room.

My mother shrugged her shoulders while looking at the flowers. "They are from Simoun. They are so beautiful, aren't they?"

I pouted. I walked over to the flowers and inspect it. They were so beautiful to look at, I admit. But I just can't help but feel a bit confused because this is the first time that Simoun sent flowers. Usually, he will just drop by in our house if he has something to give. And I didn't receive any message from him that he sent me these stuff.

"Are you sure that they are from Simoun?" My voice was filled with doubt. I opened my phone to type a message for Simoun.

- Did you send flowers?

Just a seconds had passed, I received a reply from him.

Simoun:

- No. Why? Have you eaten your breakfast?

I pursed my lips, staring at the flowers.

"Simoun did not send these, Ma. Are you the one who received it?" I asked my mother.

She nodded. "Yes. From the delivery boy. I just signed it. And he said the name of the sender is Simoun."

"But Simoun told me that he did not send anything, Ma. I asked him." Now, my voice was hard but the fear laced in it was vivid.

Her brows furrowed as she blinked. "W-What? But the delivery boy said that..."

I swallowed as fear crept in my skin. "Why did you receive it? You should have called me."

"I-I did not know, Yula."

"Good morning."

A cold and rough voice made me stopped. It was Rael. He was standing in our door. He put down the gallon of water. His eyes drifted on the flowers but he immediately looked at me.

"Thank you so much, Rael. Please, put it in the kitchen. Come here," my mother said as she left.

Rael stared at me for a moment before he averted his gaze, following my mother inside the kitchen. As much as I did not want to, my eyes seemed to have their own mind as they automatically followed him.

We decided to throw the stuff away because we were not sure who sent those.

But after a few days, I noticed something unusual. While I was combing my hair infront of the mirror, I noticed a small red light coming from the clock which was hanging on the wall. My brows furrowed in confusion as I stared at it more. Slowly, I put down my comb and stood up.

My steps were slow as I walked over to the wall clock, staring at the red dot.

Pulse beating in my ears as my stomach churning.

I grabbed the monoblock chair and stepped on it to reach the wall clock. My hands were trembling as I stared at it.

I went out of my room with the clock in my hand. I went to our garden where my father and some of his friends were. They were drinking some beers. Rael was also there.

"Dad!" My voice shook miserably. My father stood up from his seat immediately as soon as he saw the fear in my eyes. I also noticed Rael stood up.

Dad dropped his gaze on the wall clock in my hand.

"I-It has a camera!" I uttered, voice laced with fear. My father started inspecting the wall clock in his hand.

Rael walked over to us. His jaw was clenched tightly while looking at me.

My tears were unstoppable. I was hardly breathing. I swallowed as I hugged myself.

Rael took the wall clock from my father and he examined it himself. He started breaking the clock and I gasped when he pulled out a small red light which was connected in a small cable.

It was a small hidden camera.

"What is that? Why is it there?" My father asked in a confused tone.

Rael looked at my father. Suddenly, he snapped his eyes at me. I could not describe the emotion in his eyes but I can clearly tell that there was anger in them.

"Someone put this here. Someone is watching you secretly..." Rael's voice was filled with indignance.

Terror sucked the very breath from my mouth as pulse beating in my ears, blocking out all other sound.

"W-What?" My voice was numb with shock. Rael's jaw tightened repeatedly as he looked away.

I felt so lost as they continued examining the wall clock. I do not know what to feel. Anger, fear and even mistrust were overpowering me. I could not even open my mouth when they asked me. I could see their lips moving but my ears became numb.

"Yula! Yula! Can you hear me?"

Someone shook my shoulder which made me pulled out from my thoughts. My mother's eyes were full or worry. My gaze drifted to the man beside her.

Rael was silent but his eyes were full of darkness. Even though they have different colors, darkness was extremely strong and intense.

"When did you buy this wall clock." Rael asked in a stern voice. His eyes remained staring into mine.

I blinked as I tried to find answer. "I bought that two weeks ago." My tone was tired and weak.

His jaw tightened mercilessly. He let out a deep sigh.

"I think it is not a camera? It is probably just some sort of design?" my father's friend commented.

"This is a camera. I can't be wrong," I responded in a firm voice.

"But who will put it there if it is really a camera? What is their motive?" My father furrowed his brows.

"Where did you buy this?" Rael asked. His eyes fixed on mine.

"A-At the night market."

Rael pressed his lips together. When he looked away, he stared at the horizon as though he was in deep thoughts.

My mother accompanied me in my room. They already threw the wall clock away. They also had stopped drinking beers. My father's friends had already left and Rael was the only one who stayed. He was talking to my father.

I could not sleep after what happened. My eyes kept on finding a possible small red dot. I was so paranoid. I feel like someone was watching me. I could not even be comfortable in my own room anymore.

I was still lost even in the next morning. The fear in my heart was still overpowering my whole system. I could not even talk to my parents. My thoughts were in disarray.

I felt someone entered the kitchen. I immediately looked away when I saw Rael. He was holding some plastic bags and he put those down on the table as I continued washing the dishes. My mother asked him to accompany her at the wet market because my brother and my father were not here.

"Can I drink water?" I heard him uttered in a soft voice. I swallowed hardly as I quietly grabbed a glass. I wiped it with a clean towel before I filled it with water. I did not look at him but I could feel him watching me intently causing my hand to shake in discomfort.

"H-Here," I whispered as I put down the glass near him. I did not spare him a glance.

"Thank you..." he said gently.

I just nodded my head slightly before I went back to the dishes. Suddenly, I felt his presence beside me. My heart pounded ridiculously inside my chest. It was so fast that I thought I would lose my balance especially when I noticed our distance. I felt like I was on fire and like I might spontaneously combust at any moment.

I trembled when I felt the warmth of his body behind mine.

"Let me do it," he whispered. I let him washed the glass he used. I did not even notice that my breathing had stopped as I watched him carefully rinsed the glass. He put it beside him when he was done but he remained on his spot.

Slowly, I looked at him. His eyes were tired, I can tell. I swallowed hard. His eyes were weak as though he was in pain.

"How are you?" he whispered huskily.

My lips parted a bit as my heart was beating so loudly I thought he would hear it.

"I-I am okay." I do not know why his question brought a lot of pain in my heart. It hurts that I wanted to cry.

I saw how his eyes weakened even more. "Please, do not worry about anything."

I could not talk. This feels like a sweet torture.

"Yula..." His voice was almost begging. "Can I... hug you?"

I found myself swallowing nervously. I stared into his tired eyes. But he immediately took a step back, aggressively running his fingers through his hair.

"I am sorry. Just..." He sighed excessively, averting his gaze. "Just forget about it," he whispered before he turned his back on me, leaving me alone.

I do not know if I should be thankful about the thought that it has been a whole month since the last time I felt scared. Now, I feel like I am safe. Maybe whoever that was had already stopped or they probably realized that the they won't get anything from doing that.

"I bought you some food. I cooked more than enough," Sol said as she visited at night with a plastic container in her hand.

I smiled before taking the container.

"Thank you so much, Sol. Have a seat for. My mother cooked some sweet potato. I will get you some," I uttered but she just shook her head and smiled.

"Thank but no need, Yula. I just finished having dinner. My stomach can't take another food anymore, dear."

"You might want to bring some so you could try it tomorrow."

"Oh. Yes! That is perfect. That is my nephew's favorite."

I moved quickly and went to our kitchen. After putting the sweet potato in the container, I went back to the living room where Sol was.

Sol thanked me before she went home. She always brings some food. Almost everyday she goes here and offer some food that she cooked.

"Why is Sol always cooking this dish? Isn't it she also brought us this dish the last day?" Mama asked with a knitted brows.

I shrugged my shoulders while washing the dishes.

"I am so tired of eating that dish," my brother, Kevin, said as he entered the kitchen.

"You are so bad," I said between my laugh.

"It seems to me that that is the only dish which Sol knows how to cook. Isn't Rael getting tired of it? If she ever cooks that dish next time, tell her to not give us some at all... ouch, Ma!"

"Sol might hear you, you asshole."

I washed the container to give to Sol. I did not stay any longer there. I noticed that Rael was not home because I did not notice his motorcycle. As soon as I gave the container to Sol, I went back home.

The scorching heat of the sun was stinging my skin. It was a month of March so the weather is sunny.

We were at the small hut. We brought the lunch of the farmer who are under the scorching sun now. The two women that I was with are very talkative. I was silently preparing our food as I listened to them. They were talking about this particular farmer.

No... they were fantasizing about him.

About Rael.

Whenever we go here to bring lunch for the farmers, they will never let the opportunity to fantasize the clueless farmer. They were always talking about him.

I glanced at Nessa when I heard her giggle.

"Rael really makes me weak. I do not want to look at him! Gosh! I am making a sin!"

"What do you call his condition again, Yula?" Lucille asked curiously.

"Heterochromia..." I responded in a soft voice.

"Right! Is there a pink and violet for that case?" Lucille uttered as she furrowed her brows.

"I am not sure, though. But I think there is none."

"Really? Is it just always blue and brown?"

"You will not look good with those eye color, Lucille! You will just look like stupid!" Nessa said.

I could not help but glanced at the direction of the man who these girls were giggling about. My father was there and also my brother with the other farmers, and of course, the tall man. He was wearing a faded jeans, thin red long sleeves and black boots that were covered by mud, and a native hat.

He is Sol's nephew, Rael. After that day, he started to avoid me. He never talks to me and I never talk to him either. If we ever have a conversation, it was just when he asks something about my father.

"Oh? Why am I seeing some regret in your face, Yula?" Nessa commented which made me glanced at her. Her cousin, Lucille, looked at me also.

"Oh my, Yula! Rael is yummy, yes, we definitely know that but if I were in your situation, I would rather choose someone who has a profession, of course! In this difficult life, you have to be wise enough. Your eyes would only be the one to be full by Rael's gorgeousness. But what about your stomach? So, be happy with Simoun. He is kind and well, he is handsome somehow." Lucille held my hand dramatically.

I laughed softly as I shook my head. They are always like this whenever we are together so I got used to them.

"What are you guys talking about? You are the only one who's thinking that. Can you please leave the man alone? He might hear you." I pouted.

She let go of my hand and now, she played with my hair.

"You are so beautiful, Yula. I know that you are aware about that. You are lucky with Simoun. He is rich. A teacher! His family owns a big grocery store! And if he would ever ask your hand for marriage, do not hesitate to say yes! Your future is secured!" Lucille smiled at me.

Lucille was a petite woman with bronzed skin. Her shoulder length hair perfectly highlighted her features. Nessa looked like her because they are cousins. Their facial features are not far from each other. The only difference was Nessa is taller than Lucille.

"Marriage is not yet in my priorities right now, Lucille. I still have a lot of things to do in life. And Simoun is still not yet my boyfriend. He is still courting me."

"Sus! But when you were still the mistress of mayor, you were always telling us that you were ready to marry him for your family."

"That was before but my situation now is completely different. Especially now that I do not remember anything that happened in my life before."

"Isn't it so surreal?" Nessa commented as her brows furrowed while watching me. "I did not expect that I would witness an amnesia in real life. I thought that it only happens in movies."

"Why? Do you also want to have amnesia? Come here. I will shake your brain."

Nessa frowned at her cousin. I just smiled at these two.

"Anyway, Yula. I have a quick question. We have never asked this one before. Simoun? Is he big?" Nessa asked nonchalantly.

I knitted my brows in confusion but she just laughed at me. So hard that her face turned into red.

"Big! Is it big?!" Lucille said, laughing with her cousin.

My eyes widened when I realized what they wanted to imply. My cheeks turned red.

"W-What are you talking about? I do not know! Why are you even asking that kind of question!"

I couldn't even look at them because of embarrassment. That was not pleasant to hear! Is it even necessary to ask that kind of question?

I massaged my temple.

"God, Yula! Stop acting so innocent! You are acting like a virgin! As if you did not become the mayor's mistress!" Nessa rolled her eyes in between her laugh.

That was what I always hear from the people. But because I can't remember anything, I am not able to answer whenever I hear about that.

I just continued preparing the foods while the two cousins were still not done fantasizing Rael.

"If I ever have a next life, I would pray to be a rice crop. But Rael should be the one to harvest me," Nessa uttered and giggled.

"That is the most nonsense wish I have ever heard! Who would ever want to be a rice crop? Only you because you are stupid!" Her cousin frowned at her.

I glanced at the farmers once again. My brother was talking to Rael and they seem to have a fun conversation.

I blinked multiple times when Rael's eyes suddenly drifted at my direction. I did not even notice that I was staring at him a bit long and he caught me!

I immediately looked away, cheeks burning red. I wanted to hide in shame! He might think that I was fantasizing him like these two girls!

I tried to focus my attention on the foods. Everything was prepared and we were only waiting for the farmers. Fried eggs, salted egg, longganisa and of course, rice.

After a few moments, I saw the farmers walking towards the hut. I suddenly felt so nervous when I glanced at Rael. I could not forget about the fact that he caught me staring at him awhile ago!

"You did not even buy a soft drinks?! What are you?!" My brother hissed when he looked at the foods.

"Wow! Why? Did you give money?!" Lucille rolled her eyes.

"Here! Ten thousand! Buy yourself a shampoo! Your hair smells so bad! Get out of my way!"

"Fuck you! Pa! He is so arrogant!"

I just shook my head at these two. They just stopped when Lucille's father scolded them.

"Rael! Here is some water. You can sit here beside me," Nessa said shamelessly as she tapped the space beside her.

I swiftly glanced at Rael who was now wiping his sweat using his towel. He took off his native hat. He just smiled at Nessa and sat beside her.

While I occupied the space beside my father. I wiped his sweat. He thanked me and smiled.

"Dante invited me to go to his son's party. It is Danica's birthday on Saturday." My father said when we started eating.

"Gosh! I did not know that ugly gay is celebrating birthday? I am not going!" Nessa rolled her eyes but when she looked at Rael, she smiled sweetly.

I pouted when Rael smiled a bit at her. I immediately dropped my gaze on my plate when he glanced at me.

"I am not also going. And also Yula, of course," Lucille uttered.

I raised an eyebrow. "It is fine with me to come."

Lucille rolled her eyes. "That bitch is fake! She is insecure to you! Can't you see it?"

I pouted and shrugged my shoulders. Danica is kind to me so I do not know why Lucille is saying that. Danica shows nothing but kindness. She is a great friend.

"I will help you," a deep voice whispered beside me. I was a bit shocked and looked at him. I was not able to refuse his help because he started moving.

I could not help but smell his scent because of our distance. It was a warm subtle woodsy with a hint of earthy smell. My lips parted a bit.

Why can't I smell any trace of tiredness from him consider that he was working under the scorching heat of the sun?!

I glanced at Lucille and Nessa. I caught their malicious stares at us. The other farmers were outside, smoking cigarettes.

"Uhm, thanks," I responded in a small voice. He did not answer. He didn't even glance at me. I was starting to think that he hates me for some reason. He is not like this to other women. He is smiling at them but to me... he never did, even once.

I noticed that my head was only reaching his shoulder. That is how tall he was. I put some distance between us when I noticed that we were quite too close.

"Sorry," he uttered in a cold voice when he noticed that I took few steps away from him. But he was still not looking at me.

I bit my lip. I scratched my forehead. He might think that I do not want us being close to each other. He might think that I am being over dramatic. But I should not care about whatever he is thinking, right? Suit himself! And one more thing, we were not even close!

That was our only interaction until we finished cleaning the table. It is not like I wanted us to have a conversation. I was just wondering why he treats me differently compared to other women here. I do not know if I was just being paranoid or what.

Simoun visited at night. Every night he is always here, bring a lot of foods that we can't even consume.

"Thank you for the foods, Simoun. But next time, you do not have to bring so many." I smiled.

I accompanied him outside because it was already quite late. I think it will rain because it has been thundering.

He smiled and gently caressed my arm. My eyes dropped on his hand and I can't help but feel uncomfortable. But I did not let him see it. I opted to smile instead.

"Yula, what I am doing right now is still not enough. I would give you the world if you want me to. There is nothing I can't give to you. That is how much I love you, my love." His eyes became hooded as he stared at me intently.

My lips parted a bit.

"Simoun..." I suddenly felt uncomfortable with that endearment.

"Do you love me as much as I love you?" he said sweetly while his palm remained on my arm and caressing it every so often.

I blinked multiple times and everted myself from his touch.

"S-Simoun, you know that I am still ready for that. I am still not complete." I replied softly.

He nodded. "I understand. But I know that I am the one who has the power to complete you, Yula. You will not just be complete. I will make sure to make you more than that. And I know that you will fall for me eventually," he told me with absolute certainty.