"Yula..." It was my mother's soothing voice. I tried to erase the name inside my head that has been bothering me to distraction since last night.

I shifted my gaze from the dark sky to my mother. With a small smile, I faced her. I was greeted by her tired eyes. They were full of longing that I couldn't identify if what is it for.

"Ma..." I whispered softly, almost inaudible.

She let out a deep sigh as she walked over to me. Her steps were gentle and quite. She reached my cheek and carresed it softly. I closed my eyes, feeling the warmth brought by her fingers.

"Is there something wrong? Tell me, honey. I have been calling you and it seemed that you were so engrossed with your own thoughts. You just kept on staring into the horizon..."

I shook my head as a response but her gaze remained observant, scrutinizing me.

"It was nothing, Ma. I just remembered the movie that I watched with Lucille yesterday. The ending was very sad and it still breaks my heart whenever I think about it." I tried to sound cheerful so she wouldn't be worried about anything at all.

"Are you sure?" With that, she offered me a small smile. "Let's go? The food is waiting. I cooked your favorite. I know that you've been craving for it since yesterday." She held my hand and pulled me gently towards our small kitchen.

Our dinner went quite. I didn't say anything about the name that has been bugging me. I never told anyone about it even to the following days. I thought about mentioning it to Lucille and Nessa but in the end, I chose not to. I knew that they are not gonna be so much of a help.

"It has been months since the last time he went here, right?" It was Nessa. She was busy slicing the ingredients for the food that we are going to bring for the farmers. The livelihood of the people here in Isabela is farming. Both of my father and older brother are farmers.

"He probably got someone pregnant in Manila?"

My brows knitted in confusion as I listened to their uninteresting conversation. They have been talking about the same topic the whole time. While I, was quite as I washed the tupperware that we are going to use.

"You think? Most probably. If so, it saddens me to think that he got someone pregnant." There was a hint of bitterness in Nessa's tone. My brows knitted even more, if that's even possible. 

"Sol never mentions anything about him whenever I ask her! That old woman is getting to my nerves!"

A name automatically popped in my head the longer I listened to them. It seemed that they were talking about Sol's nephew. I never saw him, though. They said he was working in Manila. But I don't even know why these girls are bothered at this point if he's not here.

When everything was finished, we walked straight to the farm, holding the bags full of foods. Sol offered a dish that she cooked. We ate at the farm, together with the farmers.

I was still not that comfortable around them. It has just been months since I woke up from coma. Though, they have been telling me that I was very close to them before the accident, it is still so hard for me to get along with these people that easily since I couldn't remember any of them.

"Will you go at the carnival tonight?" Papa asked as we were eating our lunch.

"Yes. And we are going to bring Yula with us. I heard that they put more rides compared to the last year." Lucille winked at me. She knows that my father won't let me easily join them because of my situation. Sometimes, my migraine attacks all of a sudden. I know that my father is only worried about me that's why they do not want me to be out of their sight. And I really really want to go at the carnival...

"No. I won't let her, Lucille," Papa said in a stern voice that made me swallowed. I dropped my gaze to my own plate.

"But why? We are just going to have some fun, Uncle! We are not going to let something happen to her. I promise!"

I smiled triumphantly, yet secretly at what Nessa said.

"You are aware about her condition, Nessa. She should just be at home. We don't know when will her migraine attack."

No matter how much I wanted to defend myself and tell my father that I'm completely fine, I didn't even try to open my mouth.

"It has been a week since the last time her migraine attacked. Right, Yula? Tell him! You're fine, right?" Lucille smiled at me.

My father probably pitied me that's why eventually, he had let me go with Lucille and Nessa. I also assured them that my migraine haven't attacked me for almost a week now. I think that I will be okay at the carnival so there's nothing to worry about. My mother reminded me over and over again to call them immediately if something unpleasant happens.

"Do not worry. As long as she's with us, she's safe," Nessa told my parents before we left.

We ate street foods after we had ridden the most extreme ride that they have in here. I regretted trying it. It was the worst experience for me. When they decided to try one more extreme ride, I shooed them away. No. I won't try another ride. I almost fainted!

I roamed my eyes in the surrounding. There were a lot of people but not to the point of squeezing their body with one another. Several food stalls were scattered around the carnival. It was seven in the evening and I told my parents that we are going home at exactly eight o'clock.

My forehead creased when my eyes caught something in the middle of the crowd. It was a man wearing a black cap and black shirt with faded jeans. I saw how he turned his gaze away from me. He was standing beside of a cotton candy stall.

A feeling of suspicion crawled at me when he looked at my direction once more. And there, I saw his face...

He was tall and despite of his age, his attractive looks were undeniable.

It made me more uncertain of what to think when he smiled at me.

It was a kind of genuine smile.

I looked around to see if his smile was for someone else but I didn't see anyone who might he offering his smile to.

I blinked, unsure if I should reciprocate his warm smile. But before I could even think about it, he had already turned his back on me and started walking away.

I don't fucking know but as if my feet had their own mind as I automatically followed him. A voice was whispering inside my head saying that I should follow him and even though I wanted to ignore it, I just couldn't.

I walked faster when I saw his back. But I was not able to catch him as a white van halted infront of him and he immediately went inside.

My eyes followed a single piece of paper that has been fallen from the man before he closed the door of the van. I didn't hesitate to pick it up. And I realized that it was a letter.

No...

He didn't accidentally dropped it...

It was intentional...

When my mind had slowly processed what was written inside, I could no longer control my fingers. They were trembling in an unsettling way.

You shouldn't trust him. You don't know what kind of danger he brings to your life. He has done it before. He will do it again.

- D

I took two small steps backward while looking around. An uncanny feeling that I was being watched crept inside me. I hadn’t noticed the goosebumps creeping on my arms until now, immobilizing me.

Who... who is that man? What does this mean?

And... who is the man he's referring to the letter?

I was full of doubts. My chaotic mind was slowly swallowing my whole being, leaving me hopeless.

While staring at the letter, I feel nothing but coldness, as though something uncanny showed in each of the letters that were written there. My palms were sweating and trembling. It was the worst feeling and I hate it. I hate it so much.

I have been thinking about nothing but this letter since last night. Who's that man? Why did he give me this letter? What is he trying to tell me?

I swallowed hard as I felt the throbbing in my head. It was unbearable. I squeezed my eyes shut, almost hurting them. My grip tightened around the piece of paper. I exhaled excessively multiple times.

I was catching my breath when the throbbing pain had slowly subsided.

I dropped my gaze to the letter. It became a bit crumpled. Sighing, I stood up and walked over to the cabinet. I rummaged through it until I found the small box. I hid the letter inside it.

When I was about to close the box, suddenly, I heard a rustling sound that came from my window.

I was paralyzed to my spot for a whole five seconds, fingers trembling. Even my breathing halted inside my lungs. A terrifying thoughts invaded my mind.

It was almost midnight. What could it be?

Or should I say... who could it be?

Slowly, I walked towards the window. I know that it was impossible for whoever is in there to see me because my room was dark, but that thought didn't help to erase my unexplainable fear.

I peeked at the window. I didn't even notice that my breathing had stopped. I tried to be as careful as possible. It was dark outside but there was a little light coming from a post.

I gasped when I saw a silhouette passed through the plants in our small garden. It was hard to tell if it was a human or some kind of animal because of darkness. I don't fucking know. Apart from that, the shadow moved fastly. It came from our garden and disappeared all of a sudden.

I went out of my room and ran. I switched all the light. A gasp escaped my lips when I saw the footprints on the garden, as though someone went here.

I roamed my eyes around the street, looking for any possible trace of that person.

And there...

A very tall man was standing at Sol's house. I didn't even think about it. I came to him, heart pounding aggressively inside my chest, as though begging me to release it.

"Who are you?!" Raging mad, I screamed at him. It made him froze. His massive back was all I could see. But slowly, he turned around to face me.

He was just staring at me for awhile. While my anger couldn't just easily disappear.

"What were you doing in our garden?! You went there, right?! Don't fucking deny it! I saw you!"

His forehead creased as he remained staring at me.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he hissed, barely opening his mouth. I could almost hear annoyance in his voice.

"It was you! I saw you coming out from our garden! Who are you?! What did you do?!" I was unbelievably angry. My emotions went up severely when I think about the letter.

"I don't even know what you are talking about. I didn't go there," he mumbled. His voice was serious and cold.

I shook my head, teeth clenching. "I fucking saw you! I'm gonna call the police! I'll send you to jail!"

His forehead creased even more. He licked his lower lip as his

eyes smoldering with unmasked anger.

"Will you please calm down for a second? I don't even know what–"

"I won't let you get away with it! It was you! I'm fucking sure!"

I just stopped when I saw Sol coming out from her house. Her brows furrowed while looking at us.

"Nath– Y-Yula? What's happening? Rael? Why are you... what..." Her eyes filled with worry.

"I saw him!" My emotions were too overwhelming that suppressing a small sob from escaping my throat became too hard for me. "H-He tried to break into our house! It was him! I'm sure because there's no other people here other than him!"

Sol gasped. She looked at the man. "R-Rael?" Her voice was doubtful but there was a hint of fear.

I watched how the man clenched his jaw tightly while looking around.

Sol went to me and enveloped me in her arms. She caressed my arm.

"Yula, hush now. You're safe here..." Sol whispered but my tears wouldn't stop.

"I'm gonna call the police!" I screamed repeatedly but the man was only giving me a cold stare.

"N-No. Please, calm down, darling. Rael is my nephew."

"No! I can't be wrong! It was him! I know what I saw!" I glared murderously at this man. My pulse sped up and I was breathing very shallow. "It was you, right?! Tell me the fucking truth! What were you doing there at this midnight?!"

He shot me a hostile glare, eyes hardened. "You're just probably tired that's why you're hallucinating," he said menacingly under his breath.

I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed. I tried to steady my breathing but it didn't work.

"Yula, please... don't shout, darling. It was not him. I'm sure. You were just probably imagining things," Sol said softly while caressing my arm.

I shook my head, not believing any of those words. "No! I'm sure with what I saw! It was impossible for that person to just disappear in just a blink of an eye because I immediately went out of our house to see it then I... I saw him! I don't know why he was there but I'm fucking sure it was him! He left a lot of footprints!"

"Yula, please. Listen, it was not him, okay? Calm down. Let's talk about this when you're–"

"No! I can't calm down! If it not was you, then who could the fuck it be?!"

The man stared at me for a long time before he blew a sigh. He looked away before answering.

"I don't know... but it was not me..."  he whispered under his breath.

But his voice made me even more skeptical about him... as though he was trying to avoid something.

"There's nothing special or important thing happened in your life before the accident, Yula. So if I were you, I wouldn't even bother to think about my past. I and Papa are both farmers. We are poor. If there's anything we can consider special, that is when you became the mayor's mistress," my brother casually said.

I pursed my lips as I tried to decipher his words. Why did I do that? I've been hearing about this many times but I can't make myself believe in any of those rumors. I can never accept that I once ruined a family. I heard that the mayor has three children and his wife has a chronic disease.

Why did I let that happen? What was I thinking?

Whenever I try to remember anything, even just a bit from my past, I never succeeded. It just gives me a severe headache.

"That was a long time ago, Kevin. It was your sister's mistake. We should forget about that." My father emphasized each word.

"What? I didn't say anything! It was not my intention to offend her. I'm just trying to tell you, Yula. And besides, when you became his mistress, we were able to pay our debts! We were able to buy two carabaos! You know what? I've been thinking that if ever you weren't got into an accident, we might have been living in a mansion right now. But well, life sucks."

I didn't bother to say anything after what my brother said. His words kept on playing in my ears, almost making me feel awful.

I couldn't even get my eyes off the pictures that were hanging on the wall. There was a picture of me when I was five years old. Even the day when I graduated from senior high school. I always stare at these pictures everyday, hoping that it would give me even just a glimpse of my life before.

I spend most of my time making colorful crochet pouches. Because I do not have anything to do, I thought of something that would entertain me and make profit out of it. I searched on the internet the things which are easy to learn, and crochet pouch caught my attention. I watched tutorials until I perfectly learned how to make one. And now, it somehow became my small business.

"I just can't believe that you accused Rael! Does he look like someone who would break into someone's house? My god, Yula!" Lucille laughed annoyingly.

I pouted. "I don't know him personally, Lucille. And that was the first time I ever saw him," I said defensively.

"Well. I can't blame Yula, though. We couldn't tell just by someone's appearance if he's capable of commiting a crime. Even if they're ugly or not!" Nessa shrugged.

I didn't say anything. I continued crocheting a small pouch.

"But Rael is such a hottie, right, Yula?" Nessa smirked at me.

I furrowed my brows. "I'm not even thinking about that."

I don't care about people's physical appearance. If you're beautiful, fine. If you're ugly, it's even more fine!

"What do you mean you don't think about it? I don't believe you! Why? Do you like Simoun that much that you don't even find any other guy handsome anymore? My gosh! I'm sorry to say this but Simoun is worst than a monsoon!"

"Simoun is kind, Nessa."

"Of course, he would only show you his good side! But I know and I can feel it that he looks down on people like us! Don't you see it?"

"But you and Rael would be a perfect couple, Yula," Lucille muttered all of a sudden.

"What are you even talking about?" I felt a bit uncomfortable about what she said.

"Nothing. I just thought about it." She was still smirking at me.

I just laughed it off.

"You should sell these online, Yula! I'm sure a lot of people will appreciate it. They are so beautiful. Look! I love this one! I will buy this."

I've also thought about posting my products online but I'm still hesitating. I know that selling online has a lot of pros and cons, and the process is a bit complicated for me. Our neighbors buy my products and some of my mother's friends. I can only sell few because I'm the only one who makes these.

I saw a cute image of a bear on the internet. I became determined to make my own little bear crochet pouch.

It was kinda hard for me to follow its small diagram. I really wanted to finish it but I failed twice. I ended up starting from scratch to make my own pattern.

I sewed the bottom of the two ovals together with a long strand of yarn. I left a small yet enough space for the mouth and nose after sewing the buttons on the bear's face. This resulted in an adorable bear pouch. This is designed to hold phones but also works for other small items.

Probably around next week, I will sell these.

"How have you been, Yula?" That is what the owner of the store always says whenever she sees me.

"I'm doing great," I responded quietly because I do not even know how I feel.

"Do not worry, dear. God will never leave you. You will remember everything when the right time comes. Just have faith in Him."

All I can do was to offer her a smile. I muttered a small thank you when she handed me my change.

It was still six o'clock in the morning. The rising sun emitted a rosy hue across the sky.

"Good morning, Yula! What did you buy?" Nestor greeted me with a smile while sweeping their garden.

"Good morning! I just bought coffee and few eggs for our breakfast."

"I see! Don't forget your birthday gift for me, okay?" He was referring to the crochet pouch.

"Of course, I won't."

It was just a short walk as the store was not that far from our house.

I walked slowly when I saw the house that's almost across ours. I can't help but look at it.

A very tall man was topless. It was Rael, Sol's nephew.

He was trim build, not overly muscular with a disheveled dark brown hair. His complexion was warmer than gold. And like any other day, I noticed that he was watering their plants.

Embarrassment filled me whenever I think about what transpired few days ago. I feel so ashame that I accused him. My parents were disappointed when they heard about it. They said that Rael is such a nice guy and will never do such thing.

They said that it was probably some dude who has nothing to do in life.

I already apologized to Rael for what happened. He was not mad nor anything. He said that he understands. But recently, I can feel that he's been trying to avoid me.

I saw his aunt who just got out from their house. She was holding a cup. I think it was a coffee. When she saw me, she waved her hand and smiled. I responded in kind.

My gaze turned, once more, to her nephew. He was still looking at me so I smiled a little but I felt cold when he didn't reciprocate it. His gaze remained cold and impassive. I felt a bit of awkwardness.

He was so rude.

I just avoided his eyes and continued walking.

I thought that I would have a peaceful sleep tonight but I was completely wrong. I never expected that I would have this kind of dream after dreaming about a certain name recently.

But this time... it was not just a whisper.

It was a man.

I couldn't see his face. The only thing that was vivid to me was the dark woods. I do not understand what was happening. I do not understand why I keep on running... away from the man.

My heart was throbbing in my ears. I wanted to scream but something was stopping me for my mind was clouded with fear. The beast holding me captive took control of my entire being.

All I want was to get away from him. But it feels like I cannot able to escape from him even how fast I tried to run. He was just standing there, watching me, while I keep on running and running... and running. Our distance remained the same. Everytime I look over my shoulder to see if he's gone, he was still there.

And the gun that he was holding was the only thing I could remember.