KAREN

"Are you sure about this?" Abby asked, watching me apply the third coat of mascara.

I met her eyes in the mirror. "No. But I'm doing it anyway."

She'd spent the last twenty minutes helping me transform from a heartbroken mess into someone who looked like they had their life together.

My hair fell in waves I'd never managed on my own. The dress she'd lent me, black, tight, shorter than anything I'd normally wear, made me look like a different person.

Maybe that was the point.

"You don't have to do this," Abby said softly. "We can stay in. Watch terrible movies. Eat ice cream."

"I need to get out of my head." I reached for the lipstick, red, bold, nothing like my usual nude gloss. "Just for one night."

*Deadweight.* The word still echoed in my skull, Matt's voice sharp and clinical.

"Okay." Abby squeezed my shoulder. "But promise me you'll be careful. Text me when you get there and when you leave."

"I promise."

"And don't do anything reckless. Or get pregnant."

I laughed despite everything. "Yes, Mom."

She hugged me tight, then released me with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Go. Have fun. Forget he exists."

"See you tomorrow," I said, grabbing my bag.

"Bye!" She called after me.

My Uber was already waiting outside, so I got in and we drove off.

I'd picked the wildest club I could find, Mirage. I didn't know why I chose it, but it felt like that's where I needed to be tonight.

There was a long line of people when we pulled up, and I didn't want to stand there. Most of them were teenagers who looked like they'd just turned eighteen and couldn't wait to get a taste of club life.

I remembered bitterly my first time at a club. It was with Matt, of course. It ended with us fighting because guys were hitting on me.

I adjusted the top of my dress, exposing more cleavage than I was used to, put on what I hoped was a confident smile, and walked straight toward the bouncer.

When I got there, I didn't say a word. I just walked past him into the club.

He didn't stop me.

The power of a low-cut dress and fake confidence.

The whole place was loud, bass pounding so hard I felt it in my chest. For a moment I almost turned around, but I remembered that tonight was all about getting wild.

I pushed through people dancing. Some were already drunk even though the night had just started.

I was heading toward the bar when someone grabbed my hand. I turned to see a man who looked like he could barely stand on his feet.

"Let's dance, pretty lady," he slurred, pulling me against his chest.

The smell of alcohol hit me like a wall. I cringed, yanking my hand free.

"No thanks," I said firmly, pushing past him.

I finally made it to the bar and took a seat on one of the barstools. The bartender, a woman with purple hair and full sleeve tattoos, looked at me with a raised brow.

"Give me your strongest drink," I said.

She smirked. "Rough night?"

I just shrugged.

She slid a bright blue concoction across the bar. I lifted it and took my first shot.

It burned going down, sweet and sharp and absolutely horrible. I coughed, my eyes watering.

God, how did people drink this stuff regularly?

But tonight was all about getting wild, so I ordered another.

I turned to watch the people on the dance floor, moving without thinking, without worrying.

Was this what Matt wanted? Nights like this instead of picnics and quiet dates?

It was just one summer.

I shook my head. I wasn't here to prove anything to him.

I was here for me.

"Hey, beautiful." A voice came from beside me, too close, too smooth. "Buy you another drink?"

I glanced over. A guy in his late twenties stood there, leaning against the bar like he owned it. Expensive watch. Smug smile. The kind of guy who wasn't used to hearing no.

"I'm good, thanks," I said, turning back to my drink.

"Come on, don't be like that." His hand landed on my lower back without permission, heavy and possessive. "One drink. One dance. What's the harm?"

I shifted away from his touch. "I said no thanks."

"Playing hard to get?" He moved closer, invading my space. His cologne was overwhelming, mixing with the alcohol on his breath. "I like that."

Panic fluttered in my chest. This was exactly why Abby didn't want me coming alone.

"My boyfriend's waiting for me," I lied, glancing around desperately.

"I don't see any boyfriend." He smirked, his hand moving to my waist now, gripping tighter.

"Looks like you're all alone to me."

My heart pounded. The bartender was busy at the other end. The music was too loud for anyone to hear me over it. I was trapped between this guy and the bar, and he knew it.

Just then I spotted a handsome man walking towards the bar so I quickly jumped down from the stool and walked to him.

"Hey babe, took you so long I was beginning to worry," the man's face had a confused expression.

"Please play along, please, save me," I said in such a way that only he could still hear me over the loud music and immediately his face relaxed, understanding what I wanted.

"Sorry babe, I had to go pick up my phone from the car, I left it there." He said as he planted a kiss on my forehead.

I knew the creepy guy was still watching us, so I wanted to give him a show. I drew the man's head down and planted a kiss on his lips.

What started as a joke turned into something else. I forgot we were pretending. Forgot the creep was watching. I had gotten over him because this stranger's lips didn't feel strange at all.

They felt like they were meant to be on my lips. When we broke the kiss, I turned to look at where the creepy guy was standing

and he wasn't there any longer.

Now I couldn't face this guy I just kissed.

" Do you kiss everyone you meet like that?" He asked and I could hear the teasing in his voice.

That was when I really looked into his eyes. I got lost, they were so beautiful that I could stare at them forever.

" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," was I even sorry? No

" By the way, I'm Rek."

" Karen.” My voice came out breathless.

Chapter 3

KAREN

“Thank you so much for your help,” I said as Rek and I returned to the bar.

“Who was that guy if I may ask?” Rek asked as he took a seat and I did the same.

“Just a drunk creep,” I said.

“Seems like he is not over you,” Rek nodded behind me. I turned around to see the creepy guy still staring at me. He raised his glass up when our eyes met.

“No,” I turned around to Rek. “No, I'm good here,” I said and we both laughed.

I watched as Rek asked the bartender to bring the same drink I ordered earlier. I also asked for the same. I wanted more drinks.

As soon as our drinks arrived I emptied one glass at a go and demanded for another. I heard Rek chuckled but I didn't pay him attention.

“Give me more,” I said after my third glaas, but this time Rek waved his hands to the bartender to ignore me.

So, I went for his drink. But he held my hands and I glared at him.

“But you took my drink,” I slurred. I was indeed drunk.

“You are drunk, I don't think you can handle any more drink,” he said as he planted a kiss on my hand that he held. I couldn't help but blush.

“Let's dance,” I said as I stood up from the stool and dragged him and I could tell he let me because he was both big and huge, and didn't look like someone you could pull around.

We were on the dance floor and his hands went around my waist, my back to his front as I began swaying my hips to the music.

I pressed my hips to his crotch, moving sensually to the beats.

I felt his hot breath on my neck before he whispered but I couldn't clearly catch what he was saying because of the loud music.

But something between play and dangerous was what I could figure out.

I was being controlled by the alcohol, because in my normal scene, I don't think I would be dancing with a stranger the way I was, especially if I felt something hard being pressed against my butt.

“We should get out of here,” Rek said and I turned around to face him. His eyes mirrored the lust he had, like he had a lot of things he wanted to do to me.

“After you,” he said as I but my lips already leading the way.

He signaled to the bartender who walked up to us immediately. “Our bills please.”

The bartender quickly wrote it down on a sheet of paper and handed it to us. He dropped some dollar bills on the bar table for the bartender and turned to me.

“Ready?” He stretched out his hands for me. I bit my lips tentatively taking his hands.

Rek took my hands and led me towards the hallway that connected the club and the club hotel reservations desk.

My back suddenly hit the wall and his lips covered mine. I moaned into the kiss as Rek ministered to my lips. When we finally broke the kiss, we continue our wall and got to the reservation desk.

The difference between the Club and the hotel was significantly huge. If I didn't come from the club, I wouldn't have believe they are merged together.

Just as I was about to take a step, he swept me off my feet in a bridal style and I couldn't help but gasp.

“Put me down. I can work,” I said but he didn't listen. He just continued walking with me in his arms.

I had to bury my face in his chest to avoid looking at the faces of passerbys.

He didn't drop me down until we got inside our hotel suite and my back hit the wall as he resumed kissing me from where we stopped earlier.

Being drunk could make you do things, you don't normally do. I don't think I would have followed him into an hotel suite, but here I was with my lips being ravished by a man I just met and I didn't care.

Clothes were being thrown and we didn't care where. My hands went to his belt and they wouldn't come open because of how eager I was.

“You seem desperate,” came his deep voice. His voice worked magic in my body.

He turned me around and grabbed me by the waist and slammed his lips on mine, kissing me savagely.

I moaned slightly as his hands roamed around my body and then he grabbed my ass, squeezing it slightly.

He pulled down the hand strap of my dress and then slowly pulled down my dress.

“I'm afraid this is your last chance to back out,” he whispered, leaning down till his mouth was the same level as my ear. “Are you sure you want this?”

He kissed my neck and began nibbing on it. The mix of moan and a whimper escaped my lips as I leaned into his touch.

“Yes,” I whispered, my legs already feeling weak. “Yes, I do.”

He pulled back instantly, his face blank as he stared down at me. I gulped. Damn, he was very tall. How am I just realizing this?

The look he was giving unsettled me. Was he about to back out? How could he back out now when I wasn't even satisfied yet? Was he no longer interested.

I gulped, my heart beating with different thoughts until he put his both hands on me again.

I steadied myself as he ripped off my clothes from my body in an instant.

I gasped and he smirked as he stepped forward. I stepped and my legs hit the bed.

My back hit the bed. Wait! When did we even get to the room.

He kissed my neck and I couldn't help but wonder. Matt never treated me like this, it was always about what he wanted.

“Make love to me,” I whispered to him. He stopped what he was doing and looked me straight in the eyes before speaking.

“I plan to.”

He didn't lie and I don't think after him, I would be satisfied by any other man.

Chapter 4

KAREN

My eyes fluttered open slowly, and a satisfied sigh left my lips. The bed was incredibly soft, the sheets expensive and smooth against my skin.

But this wasn't my bed.

I sat up quickly, and the sharp pain between my thighs brought everything rushing back.

Matt. Jessica. The cookies scattered across his floor. The word deadweight echoing in my skull.

Then the club. The creep at the bar. And Rek.

Heat flooded my face as I remembered everything in vivid detail. His hands on my waist. His lips on mine. The way he'd looked at me like I was something precious instead of something broken.

The hotel room. His question, “Are you sure you want this?”, and my breathless answer.

Oh God.

I looked around the room, searching for the man who'd given me the best night of my life.

He wasn't anywhere.

I pulled myself out of bed, wincing at the soreness, and walked to the bathroom. Empty. I checked the sitting area of the suite. Nothing.

He was gone.

I walked back to the bedroom and checked the time on my phone. It's almost nine AM.

Six missed texts from Abby, each one progressively more panicked.

“How's it going?”

“Are you good?”

“Karen, I'm getting worried.”

“Text me back or I'm calling the police.”

“Seriously, I will file a missing persons report.”

“I WILL FIND YOU.”

Guilt twisted in my stomach. I typed back quickly, “I'm fine. On my way back. Sorry for not texting.”

Her response came immediately, “THANK GOD. Get your ass home.

I set my phone down and stared at the empty hotel room.

Maybe Rek had to go to work. But it was Saturday. People barely worked on Saturdays.

Maybe he regretted it. Maybe he woke up, looked at the stranger in his bed, and decided to disappear before things got awkward.

Maybe this was exactly what one-night stands were supposed to be. No strings. No complications. No messy morning-after conversations.

I got what I wanted, one carefree night to forget about Matt and my failures and everything that made me feel like deadweight.

Mission accomplished.

So why did waking up alone feel so hollow?

I shook my head and started gathering my clothes. The dress Abby had lent me was wrinkled beyond recognition. My shoes were on opposite sides of the room. I found my underwear draped over a lamp.

Heat crept up my neck as I remembered how they got there.

I dressed quickly, my hands shaking. What had I been thinking? I didn't do things like this. I didn't have one-night stands with strangers in hotel rooms that probably cost more per night than my monthly food budget.

But last night, I didn't want to be the girl who thought things through. I'd wanted to be reckless. Wanted to prove I wasn't the deadweight Matt said I was.

And now I was doing the walk of shame back to Abby's apartment, smelling like expensive cologne and regret.

Perfect.

I grabbed my bag and headed for the door, pausing when I caught my reflection in the mirror.

My hair was a disaster. My makeup was smudged. I looked exactly like someone who'd had a one-night stand.

But underneath that, I saw something else. Something that looked almost like satisfaction.

For one night, I'd felt wanted. Desired. Like I mattered.

Even if it was a lie. Even if Rek was already halfway across the city, forgetting my name.

It felt real.

I took a breath and left the hotel room.

The Uber ride back to Abby's felt like the longest twenty minutes of my life. I kept my head down, avoided eye contact with the driver, and prayed I didn't run into anyone I knew.

When we finally pulled up outside Abby's apartment, I practically ran to the door.

She opened it before I could knock, took one look at me, and raised an eyebrow.

"Walk of shame?"

"Good morning to you too," I answered with enough sass to match hers, walking past her into the apartment.

"You haven't answered my question," she said, closing the door behind me.

"You haven't acknowledged my greeting," I shot back. "Why are you cranky this morning?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "Maybe because you had fun last night and I didn't."

I scoffed. "You're the one who didn't want to come."

"I know." She rolled her eyes. "Which is why you're going to tell me everything."

I sank down onto the couch. "What makes you think anything interesting happened?"

"Hello!" She waved her hands dramatically. "Your walk of shame says otherwise."

"Ugh, fine." I raised my hands in surrender.

Truth was, I wanted to tell her. Needed to tell someone what had happened before it started feeling like a dream.

"I had sex with someone," I said, heat creeping into my cheeks.

"Uh, duh. That much has been established." Abby sat beside me. "I need details. All of them."

So I told her everything. The drunk guy who grabbed me on the way to the bar. The creep who wouldn't take no for an answer.

And Rek, tall, gorgeous, mysterious Rek who'd saved me and then made me forget my own name.

"Oh wow," Abby said when I finished. "You wouldn't have had time for me even if I was there."

I smiled. "I was kind of busy."

"Yeah, keeping busy." She rolled her eyes, but she was grinning. "Do you regret it?"

I thought about Rek's hands, gentle and sure. About the way he'd looked at me like I mattered. About feeling, for just a few hours, like I wasn't deadweight.

"I don't know," I said honestly.

Abby squeezed my shoulder. "Well, I'm glad you're safe. And I'm glad you did something reckless for once." She stood.

"But now you need to shower, eat, and get ready for reality. Classes start in two weeks, and you have four science courses to conquer."

My stomach dropped. "Abby…."

"No. We're not doing this. You are not failing." She held out her hand. "But first, shower. You smell like regret and expensive cologne."

I laughed despite myself and took her hand.

Two weeks passed in a blur.

I settled into Abby's spare room, unpacked my things from the dorm, and tried not to think about storm-gray eyes and cedar-scented cologne.

I told myself it didn't matter. Rek was a stranger. A beautiful mistake. A moment of recklessness that was over now.

I had bigger things to worry about.

Like Calculus II.

Like passing my required science courses without Matt's help.

Like proving I wasn't deadweight.

The night at Mirage became a memory I tucked away, something that happened to a different version of me. A girl who was brave enough to be reckless, if only for one night.

Now I had to be the girl who survived her final year of college.

Even if I had no idea how I was going to do it.