KAREN

“What's with the cookies?"

I glanced up to find Abby leaning against the brick wall outside Matt's dorm building, her backpack slung over one shoulder and a knowing smile tugging at her lips.

"They're for Matt," I said, shifting the bakery box to my other hand. My duffel bag kept sliding down my shoulder.

I was pretty sure I looked exactly like what I was, exhausted, sweaty from the Florida heat, and desperately trying to hold everything together.

"I've been working at my mom's diner all summer. Barely had time to call him, so I thought homemade apology cookies seemed like a good idea."

"Red velvet?" Abby pushed off the wall.

"His favorite."

"You're too good to that boy." She fell into step beside me as we approached the entrance. "Want me to come up with you?"

"It's the guys' dorm, Abs. Pretty sure they'll kick you out."

"Fair point." She grinned. "I'll wait here. Go surprise your man."

I nodded, suddenly nervous. Matt and I had barely talked all summer. Every time I called, he seemed distracted or busy. I told myself it was fine, that we'd make up for lost time once I got back.

The cookies would help. Matt loved my baking.

I climbed the stairs to the third floor, my heartbeat picking up with each step. When I reached his door, I paused, smoothing down my hair and adjusting the bakery box.

Then I knocked, there was no answer.

I tried the handle. It was unlocked.

The first thing I noticed when I stepped inside was the heat.

Someone had turned off the AC, and the room was thick with humid air and the smell of lavender detergent, my lavender detergent, the bottle I'd left in Matt's room before going home for the summer.

The second thing I noticed was the sound.

My hands went numb. The bakery box slipped from my fingers and hit the floor with a dull thud. Red velvet cookies scattered across the tile.

They didn't notice.

Matt and Jessica, my boyfriend and my roommate, were too busy tangled together in sheets I recognized. Sheets I'd washed and folded and left in Matt's closet.

It was the crunch of a cookie under my shoe that finally made them look up.

Matt's eyes went wide. Not guilty. Not apologetic. Just... surprised.

"Karen," Matt said, like my name was an inconvenience. "You're back early."

Not, I'm sorry. Not, this isn't what it looks like. Just... early.

"I spent all summer working seventy-hour weeks at my mom's diner," I heard myself say, my voice flat and distant. "I came back three days early to surprise you."

"Yeah, well." Matt swung his legs out of bed, not bothering with modesty.

"Maybe if you'd made time for me during the summer instead of ignoring my calls, I wouldn't have needed to find someone who actually gave a shit."

The words hit like a physical blow.

"So this is my fault?"

"You're deadweight, Karen." His voice turned cold, clinical.

"You always have been. I carried you through two years of classes you couldn't pass on your own, and what do I get? Radio silence and some pathetic cookies?"

Deadweight.

The word echoed in my skull as I turned and walked out, leaving the cookies scattered like broken promises across his floor.

I made it down the hallway, down three flights of stairs, and out the front door before my vision blurred.

Abby was still there, scrolling through her phone. She looked up when she heard my footsteps.

One look at my face and she was moving.

"What happened?"

"He was with Jessica."

"That motherfucker." Abby's voice went ice-cold. "Get in the car."

I didn't argue. I just followed her to the parking lot and slid into the passenger seat.

She pulled out onto the main road without another word, her jaw clenched tight.

"You're staying with me," she said after a few minutes of silence. "I have a spare room. It's yours."

"Abby…."

"No arguments. We'll get your stuff from the dorm later." She glanced at me. "Right now, you need to get away from him."

I stared out the window, watching campus blur past. Students laughing on the quad. Couples holding hands. Normal people living normal lives.

"I have four science courses left," I heard myself say. "Matt was supposed to help me through them. Without him, I'm going to fail."

"You're not going to fail."

"He called me a deadweight, Abs. And he's right. I can't do this without…."

"Stop." Abby's voice was sharp. She squeezed my hand. "We'll figure it out. But right now, you need to stop thinking about him."

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

An hour later, I was clean, showered, and sitting on Abby's couch wrapped in a blanket that smelled like lavender fabric softener, nothing like the sheets I'd seen Matt tangled in with Jessica.

Abby brought me tea and sat beside me.

"Talk to me," she said gently.

So I did. I told her everything. Finding them together. Matt's speech about how I'd neglected him. The word deadweight that wouldn't stop echoing in my head.

"He only stayed with me because I needed his help," I finished, my voice barely above a whisper. "The second I wasn't useful anymore, he replaced me."

"That's not true…"

"Isn't it?" I looked at her. "I was his project. His charity case. And when I stopped being grateful enough, he moved on."

Abby was quiet for a moment. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." I pulled the blanket tighter.

"I have to pass those classes to graduate. My parents sacrificed everything to get me here. I can't let them down."

"Then we'll find another way. Tutoring centers, study groups, office hours…."

"I've tried all of that." My throat tightened. "It doesn't work for me. I don't learn the way other people learn. Matt was the only one who could actually explain things in a way that made sense."

"Then we'll figure out a new way." Abby squeezed my shoulder. "But tonight? Tonight we just breathe."

I nodded, even though breathing felt impossible.

We sat in silence for a while, the TV playing something neither of us watched. But my mind wouldn't stop spinning.

I couldn't just sit here. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think.

"Actually," I said, standing abruptly. "I need to get out of here. Clear my head."

Abby frowned. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know. Somewhere loud. Somewhere I can forget this day." I grabbed my bag before she could argue. "I just need a few hours to not be me."

She studied me for a long moment, worry creasing her forehead. "Karen….”

"I need to stop spinning, Abs. Just one carefree night, and then I can worry about Matt or my grades tomorrow," I said.

She frowned. "You hate clubs."

"I need to get out. Clear my head."

Abby studied me for a moment, then sighed. "Okay. But you're not going like that. Come on, let's make you look amazing."

I haven't been to a club in a very long time. So pressure..

KAREN

"Are you sure about this?" Abby asked, watching me apply the third coat of mascara.

I met her eyes in the mirror. "No. But I'm doing it anyway."

She'd spent the last twenty minutes helping me transform from a heartbroken mess into someone who looked like they had their life together.

My hair fell in waves I'd never managed on my own. The dress she'd lent me, black, tight, shorter than anything I'd normally wear, made me look like a different person.

Maybe that was the point.

"You don't have to do this," Abby said softly. "We can stay in. Watch terrible movies. Eat ice cream."

"I need to get out of my head." I reached for the lipstick, red, bold, nothing like my usual nude gloss. "Just for one night."

*Deadweight.* The word still echoed in my skull, Matt's voice sharp and clinical.

"Okay." Abby squeezed my shoulder. "But promise me you'll be careful. Text me when you get there and when you leave."

"I promise."

"And don't do anything reckless. Or get pregnant."

I laughed despite everything. "Yes, Mom."

She hugged me tight, then released me with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Go. Have fun. Forget he exists."

"See you tomorrow," I said, grabbing my bag.

"Bye!" She called after me.

My Uber was already waiting outside, so I got in and we drove off.

I'd picked the wildest club I could find, Mirage. I didn't know why I chose it, but it felt like that's where I needed to be tonight.

There was a long line of people when we pulled up, and I didn't want to stand there. Most of them were teenagers who looked like they'd just turned eighteen and couldn't wait to get a taste of club life.

I remembered bitterly my first time at a club. It was with Matt, of course. It ended with us fighting because guys were hitting on me.

I adjusted the top of my dress, exposing more cleavage than I was used to, put on what I hoped was a confident smile, and walked straight toward the bouncer.

When I got there, I didn't say a word. I just walked past him into the club.

He didn't stop me.

The power of a low-cut dress and fake confidence.

The whole place was loud, bass pounding so hard I felt it in my chest. For a moment I almost turned around, but I remembered that tonight was all about getting wild.

I pushed through people dancing. Some were already drunk even though the night had just started.

I was heading toward the bar when someone grabbed my hand. I turned to see a man who looked like he could barely stand on his feet.

"Let's dance, pretty lady," he slurred, pulling me against his chest.

The smell of alcohol hit me like a wall. I cringed, yanking my hand free.

"No thanks," I said firmly, pushing past him.

I finally made it to the bar and took a seat on one of the barstools. The bartender, a woman with purple hair and full sleeve tattoos, looked at me with a raised brow.

"Give me your strongest drink," I said.

She smirked. "Rough night?"

I just shrugged.

She slid a bright blue concoction across the bar. I lifted it and took my first shot.

It burned going down, sweet and sharp and absolutely horrible. I coughed, my eyes watering.

God, how did people drink this stuff regularly?

But tonight was all about getting wild, so I ordered another.

I turned to watch the people on the dance floor, moving without thinking, without worrying.

Was this what Matt wanted? Nights like this instead of picnics and quiet dates?

It was just one summer.

I shook my head. I wasn't here to prove anything to him.

I was here for me.

"Hey, beautiful." A voice came from beside me, too close, too smooth. "Buy you another drink?"

I glanced over. A guy in his late twenties stood there, leaning against the bar like he owned it. Expensive watch. Smug smile. The kind of guy who wasn't used to hearing no.

"I'm good, thanks," I said, turning back to my drink.

"Come on, don't be like that." His hand landed on my lower back without permission, heavy and possessive. "One drink. One dance. What's the harm?"

I shifted away from his touch. "I said no thanks."

"Playing hard to get?" He moved closer, invading my space. His cologne was overwhelming, mixing with the alcohol on his breath. "I like that."

Panic fluttered in my chest. This was exactly why Abby didn't want me coming alone.

"My boyfriend's waiting for me," I lied, glancing around desperately.

"I don't see any boyfriend." He smirked, his hand moving to my waist now, gripping tighter.

"Looks like you're all alone to me."

My heart pounded. The bartender was busy at the other end. The music was too loud for anyone to hear me over it. I was trapped between this guy and the bar, and he knew it.

Just then I spotted a handsome man walking towards the bar so I quickly jumped down from the stool and walked to him.

"Hey babe, took you so long I was beginning to worry," the man's face had a confused expression.

"Please play along, please, save me," I said in such a way that only he could still hear me over the loud music and immediately his face relaxed, understanding what I wanted.

"Sorry babe, I had to go pick up my phone from the car, I left it there." He said as he planted a kiss on my forehead.

I knew the creepy guy was still watching us, so I wanted to give him a show. I drew the man's head down and planted a kiss on his lips.

What started as a joke turned into something else. I forgot we were pretending. Forgot the creep was watching. I had gotten over him because this stranger's lips didn't feel strange at all.

They felt like they were meant to be on my lips. When we broke the kiss, I turned to look at where the creepy guy was standing

and he wasn't there any longer.

Now I couldn't face this guy I just kissed.

" Do you kiss everyone you meet like that?" He asked and I could hear the teasing in his voice.

That was when I really looked into his eyes. I got lost, they were so beautiful that I could stare at them forever.

" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," was I even sorry? No

" By the way, I'm Rek."

" Karen.” My voice came out breathless.

Chapter 3

KAREN

“Thank you so much for your help,” I said as Rek and I returned to the bar.

“Who was that guy if I may ask?” Rek asked as he took a seat and I did the same.

“Just a drunk creep,” I said.

“Seems like he is not over you,” Rek nodded behind me. I turned around to see the creepy guy still staring at me. He raised his glass up when our eyes met.

“No,” I turned around to Rek. “No, I'm good here,” I said and we both laughed.

I watched as Rek asked the bartender to bring the same drink I ordered earlier. I also asked for the same. I wanted more drinks.

As soon as our drinks arrived I emptied one glass at a go and demanded for another. I heard Rek chuckled but I didn't pay him attention.

“Give me more,” I said after my third glaas, but this time Rek waved his hands to the bartender to ignore me.

So, I went for his drink. But he held my hands and I glared at him.

“But you took my drink,” I slurred. I was indeed drunk.

“You are drunk, I don't think you can handle any more drink,” he said as he planted a kiss on my hand that he held. I couldn't help but blush.

“Let's dance,” I said as I stood up from the stool and dragged him and I could tell he let me because he was both big and huge, and didn't look like someone you could pull around.

We were on the dance floor and his hands went around my waist, my back to his front as I began swaying my hips to the music.

I pressed my hips to his crotch, moving sensually to the beats.

I felt his hot breath on my neck before he whispered but I couldn't clearly catch what he was saying because of the loud music.

But something between play and dangerous was what I could figure out.

I was being controlled by the alcohol, because in my normal scene, I don't think I would be dancing with a stranger the way I was, especially if I felt something hard being pressed against my butt.

“We should get out of here,” Rek said and I turned around to face him. His eyes mirrored the lust he had, like he had a lot of things he wanted to do to me.

“After you,” he said as I but my lips already leading the way.

He signaled to the bartender who walked up to us immediately. “Our bills please.”

The bartender quickly wrote it down on a sheet of paper and handed it to us. He dropped some dollar bills on the bar table for the bartender and turned to me.

“Ready?” He stretched out his hands for me. I bit my lips tentatively taking his hands.

Rek took my hands and led me towards the hallway that connected the club and the club hotel reservations desk.

My back suddenly hit the wall and his lips covered mine. I moaned into the kiss as Rek ministered to my lips. When we finally broke the kiss, we continue our wall and got to the reservation desk.

The difference between the Club and the hotel was significantly huge. If I didn't come from the club, I wouldn't have believe they are merged together.

Just as I was about to take a step, he swept me off my feet in a bridal style and I couldn't help but gasp.

“Put me down. I can work,” I said but he didn't listen. He just continued walking with me in his arms.

I had to bury my face in his chest to avoid looking at the faces of passerbys.

He didn't drop me down until we got inside our hotel suite and my back hit the wall as he resumed kissing me from where we stopped earlier.

Being drunk could make you do things, you don't normally do. I don't think I would have followed him into an hotel suite, but here I was with my lips being ravished by a man I just met and I didn't care.

Clothes were being thrown and we didn't care where. My hands went to his belt and they wouldn't come open because of how eager I was.

“You seem desperate,” came his deep voice. His voice worked magic in my body.

He turned me around and grabbed me by the waist and slammed his lips on mine, kissing me savagely.

I moaned slightly as his hands roamed around my body and then he grabbed my ass, squeezing it slightly.

He pulled down the hand strap of my dress and then slowly pulled down my dress.

“I'm afraid this is your last chance to back out,” he whispered, leaning down till his mouth was the same level as my ear. “Are you sure you want this?”

He kissed my neck and began nibbing on it. The mix of moan and a whimper escaped my lips as I leaned into his touch.

“Yes,” I whispered, my legs already feeling weak. “Yes, I do.”

He pulled back instantly, his face blank as he stared down at me. I gulped. Damn, he was very tall. How am I just realizing this?

The look he was giving unsettled me. Was he about to back out? How could he back out now when I wasn't even satisfied yet? Was he no longer interested.

I gulped, my heart beating with different thoughts until he put his both hands on me again.

I steadied myself as he ripped off my clothes from my body in an instant.

I gasped and he smirked as he stepped forward. I stepped and my legs hit the bed.

My back hit the bed. Wait! When did we even get to the room.

He kissed my neck and I couldn't help but wonder. Matt never treated me like this, it was always about what he wanted.

“Make love to me,” I whispered to him. He stopped what he was doing and looked me straight in the eyes before speaking.

“I plan to.”

He didn't lie and I don't think after him, I would be satisfied by any other man.