I woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, my pillow soaked.

Unmentionable sounds came from the room next door.

This house had poor soundproofing, something Calvin had specifically chosen.

I used to cry at night, and he'd talk to me from the next room, telling stories so I wouldn't be scared.

Now, it served another purpose.

A sudden knock startled me. I put down my earphones and got up to open the door.

Calvin stood there, shirtless, with a flushed face.

Mia, here's two hundred dollars. Go out and play for a few hours before coming back.

His tone brooked no argument, and he stood there waiting for my agreement.

I shoved the money back into his hand and left with my phone without looking back.

Calvin, you bastard!

The night wind was bleak, cold seeping into my bones.

I stood under the building, staring at the light from his room. Three hours had passed, and my legs were numb from the cold.

I dialed Calvin's number and hung. When it was picked up, it was Ava who answered.

Mia? Your brother and I are busy. Do you want to listen in? Are you some kind of pervert?

Do you want me to turn on the video so you can watch? You might learn something."

Calvin, you're hurting me. Don't you care about me?

My hands trembled as I hung up, feeling nauseous.

I envied Ava's brazenness to say these to me. Why couldn't Calvin like me instead?

Maybe I should accept my role and just be his sister.

I stood outside all night, watching the light in Calvin's room, which turned off at dawn.

When Calvin brought Ava downstairs, they ran into me. She snuggled into his arms, smiling as they said goodbye.

Ava said you stayed at a friend's house last night. Why are you back so early? Why are your eyes so red?

He reached out to touch my face, but I stepped back, avoiding his hand awkwardly. "I got dumped."

He grabbed my hand, his expression sour. "You were dating. Who?"

He was still as careless as ever. My voice was hoarse, and I glared at him.

A crush. He liked someone else.

Calvin laughed, trying to please me. "He must be blind!"

I nodded. "You're right."

Calvin took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. Maybe my tone was too cold and he stopped talking.

The application for a dorm room at school was approved. As I packed, I found my diary in the desk drawer.

[Today, I celebrated my first birthday. A sweet cream cake, a warm bedroom, and Calvin. I am the happiest person!]

[Today, I failed an exam. Calvin took me out. He said I didn't have to try hard. He'd take care of me forever. But I can't do that. I need to work hard to repay him!]

[Today, I got a love letter. Calvin found out and said I couldn't date. It was the first time I saw him so angry. I was afraid he'd hate me. I tore up the letter in front of him and promised never to talk to boys again!]

Page after page, it was all about him.

[Calvin... Calvin... Calvin Smith...]

The last page was written last night.

I had gathered the courage to confess my feelings to Calvin.

Five years of unrequited love ended before it even began.

The words I had planned to say on my birthday tomorrow now seemed foolish.

I tore up the last page and tucked it into my diary.

was carrying my bags and suitcases to the door when I bumped into Calvin, who was holding a cake as he walked in.

Panicking, I turned around too quickly and slammed my head against the door, tears welling up from the pain.

Calvin set the cake down and examined my injury with a gentle tone, suppressing his urge to scold me.

Does it hurt? How could you be so careless?

Where are you going?

he asked, noticing my luggage. Gripping my suitcase tightly, I felt a wave of nervousness I couldn't quite explain.

I... my dorm application came through, so I thought it would be more convenient to live at school.

I was scared he would actually let me go, but also afraid staying would only bring me more heartache.

He fell silent for a moment, then probed cautiously, "Is it because I brought Ava back? Did it make you uncomfortable?"

If I said yes, would you ask her not to come again?

I responded, understanding his stance from his lack of reply, and I didn't want to make things difficult for him.

Since I couldn't move all my stuff in one go, I told Calvin I would do it as soon as possible.

Mia, stay and have some cake before you go. It's your favorite, chocolate,

he said, expertly unwrapping the cake. This was the fifth birthday we had spent together, the anniversary of the day he found me.

Today, I turned eighteen, marking the end of my secret crush on him.

Calvin happily sang the birthday song and lit the candles.

Mia, make a wish!he encouraged.

I nodded, savoring the last moment alone with him.

(I wish to always be with Calvin.)

Suddenly, his phone rang. After a brief, serious conversation, he returned looking grave.

Mia, I need to go out. I'll make it up to you tomorrow.

Blowing out the candles, I clung to his clothes, not wanting to let him leave.

I don't want you to go. Could you have a piece of cake? Just one. I don't want to be alone...

His face showed a flicker of impatience as he reprimanded me, "When did you become so childish?

You're an adult now. You can't always cling to me. I have my own life too."

Reluctantly, I released him and watched his silhouette grow distant.

Later, I received a friend request from Ava.

Her latest social media post featured Calvin bandaging her cut finger, captioned: "The best Calvin in the world."

Sitting in the dark, I stuffed chocolate cake into my mouth, tears mixing with the sweetness, making it taste awful.

That night, I called a moving company and cleared out all my belongings.

After eating so much cake and exhausting myself moving, I ended up throwing up by the roadside.

Mia, why put yourself through this? I wondered.

The next day, Calvin called.

Mia, are you in your dorm? I brought you a birthday gift. Open the door.

Clutching my phone, I stared at the door, unsure how to respond.

Is there a problem?

When will you be back? I'll take you out to eat, he continued.

Excited, I checked my class schedule

and was about to agree

when I heard Ava's coquettish voice on the other end, "Calvin, are you here to see me?"