Calvin Smith was on the phone with a woman again.

His slender fingers held a cigarette as he stood in the hallway, smiling so tenderly. It was easy to tell that the girl on the other end delighted him.

"Mia, make some extra food tonight. I'm picking someone up."

"Who?"

"That's not something a child like you should ask."

"Are you serious this time? Don't let her down again."

The response I got was the sound of a door closing, and his figure walking farther away.

I stood there, bewildered, clutching the exchange student notice in my hand.

"Calvin, you bastard!"

Calvin was a genuine jerk. The women around him lasted anywhere from a week to as short as three hours.

But Calvin had never brought a woman home before.

Ava Jones was the first. She looked pure and well-behaved, but she seemed familiar to me.

Calvin kept serving her food, urging her not to diet and eat more.

The girl pinched his face playfully. "If I get fat, you won't like me anymore."

"How could that be? I like you the most."

Stars sparkled in Calvin's eyes, his words dripping with tenderness.

Was that how he looked at me too?

Ava got more playful, kissing him on the cheek."So, do you like me or Mia more?"

"She's different from you. Of course, it's you."

I buried my head low, feeling awful, and slowly ate my plain rice.

Calvin was five years older than me.

When I was thirteen, I fought with a homeless man over something and got beaten half to death.Calvin didn't mind my filthiness and took me to the hospital for emergency treatment.

Since then, I shamelessly followed him everywhere.

I met a kind god when I was near death, but now I had thoughts I shouldn't have. I liked Calvin.

His gaze fell on me as he stirred the tomato and egg stir-fry on his plate. "Mia, your cooking isn't up to par today. Are you not feeling well?"

Clatter. The chopsticks fell to the ground.

I hurriedly crouched under the table. "Yeah, my schoolwork has been heavy. I'm a bit tired."

My eyes stung. I felt like crying.

I stood in the kitchen, washing dishes absentmindedly, one after another.

Ava squeezed in, crossing her arms as she scrutinized me.

Mia, you're all grown up now. Why are you still living with your brother? It would be inconvenient for me to move in later. Why don't you stay in the dorms at school?

I didn't expect this girl to be so audacious, challenging me on her first visit. She really didn't consider herself an outsider.

I flicked the soap suds off my hands, responding rudely, "If it's inconvenient, then don't move in."

The suds splattered all over Ava. She was furious, jumping up and down, then slipped and fell, crying out loud.

Calvin rushed in, glaring at me.

Mia, what did you do?

Calvin, I just wanted to help wash the dishes. I don't know why she pushed me. It hurts so much.

Ava's performance left me dumbfounded, as she threw me a victorious smile.

Mia! Do you have any manners? Is this how I taught you to treat guests?

Calvin, I...

Calvin didn't listen to my explanation, carrying the girl out of the kitchen.

The two of them ignored me and cuddled on the sofa to watch TV. After mopping the floor, I returned to my room, my nose stinging, and cried into my pillow.

I could only silently curse Calvin in my heart over and over.

This was the first time he didn't listen to me because of someone else.

An eighteen-year-old crush was really tough.

I woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, my pillow soaked.

Unmentionable sounds came from the room next door.

This house had poor soundproofing, something Calvin had specifically chosen.

I used to cry at night, and he'd talk to me from the next room, telling stories so I wouldn't be scared.

Now, it served another purpose.

A sudden knock startled me. I put down my earphones and got up to open the door.

Calvin stood there, shirtless, with a flushed face.

Mia, here's two hundred dollars. Go out and play for a few hours before coming back.

His tone brooked no argument, and he stood there waiting for my agreement.

I shoved the money back into his hand and left with my phone without looking back.

Calvin, you bastard!

The night wind was bleak, cold seeping into my bones.

I stood under the building, staring at the light from his room. Three hours had passed, and my legs were numb from the cold.

I dialed Calvin's number and hung. When it was picked up, it was Ava who answered.

Mia? Your brother and I are busy. Do you want to listen in? Are you some kind of pervert?

Do you want me to turn on the video so you can watch? You might learn something."

Calvin, you're hurting me. Don't you care about me?

My hands trembled as I hung up, feeling nauseous.

I envied Ava's brazenness to say these to me. Why couldn't Calvin like me instead?

Maybe I should accept my role and just be his sister.

I stood outside all night, watching the light in Calvin's room, which turned off at dawn.

When Calvin brought Ava downstairs, they ran into me. She snuggled into his arms, smiling as they said goodbye.

Ava said you stayed at a friend's house last night. Why are you back so early? Why are your eyes so red?

He reached out to touch my face, but I stepped back, avoiding his hand awkwardly. "I got dumped."

He grabbed my hand, his expression sour. "You were dating. Who?"

He was still as careless as ever. My voice was hoarse, and I glared at him.

A crush. He liked someone else.

Calvin laughed, trying to please me. "He must be blind!"

I nodded. "You're right."

Calvin took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. Maybe my tone was too cold and he stopped talking.

The application for a dorm room at school was approved. As I packed, I found my diary in the desk drawer.

[Today, I celebrated my first birthday. A sweet cream cake, a warm bedroom, and Calvin. I am the happiest person!]

[Today, I failed an exam. Calvin took me out. He said I didn't have to try hard. He'd take care of me forever. But I can't do that. I need to work hard to repay him!]

[Today, I got a love letter. Calvin found out and said I couldn't date. It was the first time I saw him so angry. I was afraid he'd hate me. I tore up the letter in front of him and promised never to talk to boys again!]

Page after page, it was all about him.

[Calvin... Calvin... Calvin Smith...]

The last page was written last night.

I had gathered the courage to confess my feelings to Calvin.

Five years of unrequited love ended before it even began.

The words I had planned to say on my birthday tomorrow now seemed foolish.

I tore up the last page and tucked it into my diary.

was carrying my bags and suitcases to the door when I bumped into Calvin, who was holding a cake as he walked in.

Panicking, I turned around too quickly and slammed my head against the door, tears welling up from the pain.

Calvin set the cake down and examined my injury with a gentle tone, suppressing his urge to scold me.

Does it hurt? How could you be so careless?

Where are you going?

he asked, noticing my luggage. Gripping my suitcase tightly, I felt a wave of nervousness I couldn't quite explain.

I... my dorm application came through, so I thought it would be more convenient to live at school.

I was scared he would actually let me go, but also afraid staying would only bring me more heartache.

He fell silent for a moment, then probed cautiously, "Is it because I brought Ava back? Did it make you uncomfortable?"

If I said yes, would you ask her not to come again?

I responded, understanding his stance from his lack of reply, and I didn't want to make things difficult for him.

Since I couldn't move all my stuff in one go, I told Calvin I would do it as soon as possible.

Mia, stay and have some cake before you go. It's your favorite, chocolate,

he said, expertly unwrapping the cake. This was the fifth birthday we had spent together, the anniversary of the day he found me.

Today, I turned eighteen, marking the end of my secret crush on him.

Calvin happily sang the birthday song and lit the candles.

Mia, make a wish!he encouraged.

I nodded, savoring the last moment alone with him.

(I wish to always be with Calvin.)

Suddenly, his phone rang. After a brief, serious conversation, he returned looking grave.

Mia, I need to go out. I'll make it up to you tomorrow.

Blowing out the candles, I clung to his clothes, not wanting to let him leave.

I don't want you to go. Could you have a piece of cake? Just one. I don't want to be alone...

His face showed a flicker of impatience as he reprimanded me, "When did you become so childish?

You're an adult now. You can't always cling to me. I have my own life too."

Reluctantly, I released him and watched his silhouette grow distant.

Later, I received a friend request from Ava.

Her latest social media post featured Calvin bandaging her cut finger, captioned: "The best Calvin in the world."

Sitting in the dark, I stuffed chocolate cake into my mouth, tears mixing with the sweetness, making it taste awful.

That night, I called a moving company and cleared out all my belongings.

After eating so much cake and exhausting myself moving, I ended up throwing up by the roadside.

Mia, why put yourself through this? I wondered.

The next day, Calvin called.

Mia, are you in your dorm? I brought you a birthday gift. Open the door.

Clutching my phone, I stared at the door, unsure how to respond.

Is there a problem?

When will you be back? I'll take you out to eat, he continued.

Excited, I checked my class schedule

and was about to agree

when I heard Ava's coquettish voice on the other end, "Calvin, are you here to see me?"