Chapter Two

Leilani

I didn't expect to see him the next morning when I descended the steps. His intense gaze was lasered on me as I descended the steps. He was seated at the dining table, his food untouched.

“Good morning.” I greeted, cautiously.

“Good morning.” He responded coolly and picked up his utensils the moment I settled in a chair. I had thought it would be a one-off thing, but instead it had become a

daily occurrence. Caspian waited for me before he ate. What time he finished with work didn’t matter. He would always be there, waiting, even as we ate together in tense silence.

And he always looked so handsome when he prepared for work in the mornings. So damn gorgeous. 

I raised my eyes to steal a glance only to find him already staring at me.

Oh my God.

Breathe, Leila. Breathe. But I had to tear my gaze away from him in order to do so. 

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. I’m fine.” I forced my lips to move, careful not to meet his eyes. I hadn’t expected him to say anything to me. 

He nodded once and went back to eating. I gripped the edge of the table deciding to take the opportunity to talk. “We need to talk.”

His hand paused. “About what?”

“Last night.”

His expression hardened. “There’s nothing to talk about. It was a mistake.”

The words stung, but I forced myself to continue. “Maybe for you. But for me, It wasn’t nothing.”

He let out a quiet breath and his jaw tightened. “It shouldn’t have happened.”

“It was my first time.”

He went completely still and his eyes lifted to mine, searching. “You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

He leaned back slightly, running a hand through his hair, visibly thrown off.

“You should have told me,” The gentleness in his gaze shocked me as he

spoke the words.

I thought nothing of it and gave a faint, sad smile. “Would it have changed anything?”

He didn’t answer.

I pushed my chair back, heading out and leaving him with his thoughts. Later that day, my best friend sat across from me in a restaurant.  

The restaurant was warm, filled with happy people and laughter, but none of it reached me.

“I’m serious, Leila,” Asaph said, leaning forward. “You need to get a job. Do something with your life.”

I let out a tired sigh, stirring my drink absentmindedly. “It’s not that simple.”

“It is that simple. You were the best graduating student in Business Studies. People would fight to have you.”

I shook my head slowly. “Not anymore.”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I tried,” I admitted quietly. “I asked to work at Caspian’s company.”

“And?”

“He said his wife doesn’t need to work.”

Her expression darkened. “He is just controlling you!”

 I forced a small smile. “Even if I wanted to apply elsewhere, it wouldn’t matter. My surname alone would get me rejected. No one wants to deal with… complications.”

She stared at me, clearly frustrated. “So you’re just going to sit at home and waste yourself?”

Before I could answer, my phone rang. I glanced at the screen and my chest constricted painfully. My parents. It was never good when they called. I hesitated… then picked up.

“Hello?”

“You’ve been quiet,” my mother’s voice came through immediately. “We need money. Your father’s business isn’t doing well.”

I closed my eyes briefly, my hands wedging my forehead.

“I sent money last week.”

“And it’s finished,” she snapped. “What do you expect us to do? Starve? If only your sister was the one married to a billionaire. She’d never complain!”

Pain settled heavily in my chest.

“I’ll send more,” I said softly.

“Make sure you do,” she added before the line went dead.

I slowly lowered the phone.

My friend was watching me, her expression annoyed.

“Let me guess,” she said. “More money?”

I gave a weak nod.

She leaned back, shaking her head. “Leila… you’re being drained from every side. Your husband controls you, your family uses you, and you’re just… allowing them.”

Her words hit hard. “I don’t have a choice,” I whispered. Or did I?

I got home to a quiet house. Caspian must have gone to work from when I left the house but it was already evening and he would be back soon. I pulled out my phone and called him and he picked up after a few rings. 

“I’ll be home late.”

“Okay,” I said softly. Before I could say anything else, the line went dead.

I went about preparing dinner. I was going to try again and see if he would concede. I stayed up waiting for him to return but he never did. I had no idea when I fell asleep but when I woke up, dinner had gone cold and it was 2am. I assumed he was busy and went to bed. 

The next day, he didn’t come home. The day after that too. His phone stopped going through and just went straight to voicemail whenever I tried reaching him. It left me worried because it was something he hadn’t done before.

I called his office and they told me he hadn’t been in. That’s when fear really set in. This wasn’t normal. I paced the living room, my heart racing.

Should I call the police? Was something wrong? I barely slept or ate as I worried and I already was at the peak of my worry by day four when I heard the sound of the door unlocking. 

My heart jumped as I got out of my sitting position. He was back. Relief flooded through me so fast it almost hurt. I rushed to the door, feeling tightness in my chest, a thousand emotions crashing at once.

“Caspian, where have you—”

The words died in my throat. My eyes widened in horror and shock, and then in recognition. It wasn’t Caspian who stood at the door. It was me. Or at least, someone who looked exactly like me. Same face. Same eyes. Same everything.

The woman tilted her head slightly, a slow smile forming on her lips.

“Hello there Sister…” she said softly.

Chapter three

Leilani

I had never thought to question my knowledge of pain. It was that feeling I had when I hit my toe hard against a table’s edge when I wasn’t looking. The feeling I got after failing a quiz after studying so hard. It was that feeling when I had fallen so hard for Caspian Illinois for the first time, only to see him confessing his undying love to my twin sister and thanking her for saving him.

And now, I realized sickly what I knew hadn’t been enough. This was pain. The sight of my husband pining for another woman. The knowledge that he would never love me like he loved her.

A heavy sense of emptiness spread inside me as I watched him walk in after her, holding her hands like they were long lost lovers. 

Caspian had found her and brought her back. In the end, I had been nothing but a place holder. The thought left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Had I meant nothing to him at all?

“Caspian…” I said jerkily under my breath. “What is going on?”

He didn’t look surprised or guilty. He just watched me calmly as I asked him.

“She’ll be staying here,” he responded coldly. Just like that. It was like a blow to the heart, and I almost swayed at the devastating pain of it. She’ll be staying here. Like I was nothing.

“Staying… here?”

“Yes.”

I looked from him to her. She just stood there, watching me with that sick satisfied smile on her face. It had always been that way. She got what she wanted, always got what was hers. Even if it was mine first. I looked from her back to him and his blank face.

“I hate you.” The words were torn out of me in a jagged whisper, and I meant it. I wished there was something worse I could say, but I was just so broken I couldn’t think of anything else.

He clenched and unclenched his fists as he watched me but he said nothing in return. Lilac pouted, whining about being tired, he looked away from me to her and led her to the room. Our room. 

I watched them, and I couldn’t even cry. Moving mechanically, I focused on getting out of this space that made me want to retire to a mad house. I stayed in character throughout the ride, feverish in my desire not to let myself think. When I stopped, I was at my parents’ house. I greeted the children in the family house smiling even as I was dying on the inside.

I just wanted respite from the abnormalcy that was my life. To my surprise, my parents welcomed me with open arms and prepared my favourite meal. No one said anything about my coming home, but I just assumed it was one of the perks of being married to a billionaire, so I enjoyed it while it lasted.

Sleep didn’t come that night, and I went downstairs to get a drink, that was the moment I realized I had been fooling myself.

Halfway down the stairs, their hushed voices drifted to me, and I listened, white-faced, as they discussed me. My father sounded grim and my mother sounded pissed. 

“We can’t leave this house, of course,” my father spoke. “Caspian bought it for us, and he might take it back if—”

“We’ve been poor before,” my mother interrupted valiantly. “I can never go back to that. I can never allow it. Even if it means removing Leila. Lilac would do much better.”

I tiptoed back up the stairs, not wanting them to realize I overheard them. I got to my room and finally broke apart. They knew! They knew Lilac was back and wanted to get rid of me?! 

My inadequacies and weakness tore at me, and I pressed my hands harder against my mouth. All my life, I had always been second. Although Lilac and I were twins, we were treated so differently. I thought I might have redeemed myself by being so obedient and present to their needs these past two years, but I had been delusional. The tears that came were hard and ugly. Just like my life.

I don’t remember how I got back home. Home? I didn’t know if it could be called home. It now felt unfamiliar and empty. I walked in slowly, dragging my steps not knowing what to expect. 

My heart stuttered painfully as I entered to find Caspian at the table, I could not bear the sight of him eating with her and I was going to avert my gaze, but he called out.

“Leilani.” I paused on my steps, not turning. “Let’s talk,” his voice was calm.

Hope. Foolish, desperate hope brimmed in my chest as I turned to look at him and came to the sight of him sitting alone at the table. Lilac was nowhere in sight. For a moment… relief washed over me. Yet, something in me felt reluctant about ‘talking’. 

“I… can we talk later?” I asked softly.

“No,” he replied. “Come now.”

My hands trembled as I made my way to him, sitting in one of the empty chairs. Something didn’t feel right, but I pushed the thought away.

His unreadable gaze lingered on me for a second and my fingers twisted together underneath the table in anxiety.

“You said you wanted to talk…”

He took a sip from his tea before he spoke.

“Lilac told me everything.” 

My breathing stopped. Everything? The truth? What did she tell him?

“What… do you mean?” I asked, confused. I expected an explanation, anything at all. But I never would have expected what he said next.

“I’m sorry,” 

The words stunned me.

“I’m sorry for the past years,” he continued, “I was wrong to blame you.”

I froze. Caspian was… apologizing? My heart clenched painfully as I watched him in silence. He held my gaze with a softness I wasn’t used to seeing. It looked like…pity, and I hated it. 

“You’ve suffered because of me,” he continued. “I can’t give you back the wasted years but, I’ll compensate you.”

I was too shocked to say anything in return and the silence persisted for a while before he moved, reaching  down and pulling something up from beside the table. It was a briefcase. He placed it in front of me.

“You can take it.”

My brows furrowed in confusion as I slowly reached forward and opened it. My eyes widened at the stacks of money inside. My hands started to shake.

“What… is this?” I asked faintly, an ominous feeling warning me.

“Your compensation,” he said calmly.

The word hit me like a punch to the stomach. Compensation? For all the things he did to me, he was going to pay me off? While I tried to make sense of what was happening, he slid another document across the table. It stopped right in front of me. My eyes dropped to it and my world stopped rotating.

Divorce Agreement.

My vision blurred instantly. The ominous feeling was now at its peak.

“No…” I whispered.

My fingers trembled as I picked it up, my heart pounding violently in my chest.

“No… this isn’t…”

“This is the best solution,” he said.

I looked up at him, my entire body shaking.

“Solution?” My voice broke. “You just said you were going to compensate me–!”

“I was,” he replied.

“Then why are you doing this?” I cried. “Why are you giving me this?!”

“This marriage was never meant to happen, Leilani,” he said finally. “I’m setting you free.”

Chapter Four

Leilani

I don’t know how long I stayed there in the chair before I could gather enough strength to walk out of his house. Numb. Dead on the inside. By the time I got to Asaph’s apartment, my hands were shaking so badly I could barely knock. The door opened almost immediately.

“Leila?” she frowned. “What happened to you—”

I  stumbled forward, tears blurring my vision. I leaned in her arms and sobbed so hard I couldn’t breathe.

“He… he gave me money,” I cried. “Like I was nothing… like I was something he could just pay off and throw away…”

Asaph stiffened. “What?”

“And… and a divorce letter,” I whispered, my voice breaking into pieces. “He said it was compensation…”

Her grip on me tightened.

“That bastard,” she muttered angrily. “That heartless bastard!”

I shook my head, crying harder. “He apologised… he said he was wrong… and then he still left me…”

Asaph didn’t say anything else. She just held me as I cried like my world had ended. The nausea that had been building up inside me all day peaked, and I vomited all over her. The bitter taste of bile in my mouth made me cry even harder and I apologized to Asaph who had been soaked in my vomit, even as I cried. She invited me into the house, cleaning me up and giving me new clothes. Everything was blissfully quiet and dark afterwards. 

Sometimes I would just sit there, staring into space, hearing his voice over and over again, and each time, it hurt like it was happening all over again.

I felt weak and sick. I had been forced by Asaph to take in breakfast but again I threw everything up. Asaph followed quickly. “Leila? Are you okay?”

“I… I don’t know,” I whispered, holding onto the sink. We were in the hospital moments later, my heart pounding loudly in my chest as I sat there, waiting for my results. Asaph had suggested a pregnancy test and I had taken it just to prove to her that it was just malaria or my emotional stress taking its toll. But deep down…I was afraid.

The doctor smiled gently as she walked to the waiting room, giving me the results.

“Congratulations,” she said. “You’re pregnant.”

My fear was confirmed. I was carrying his child. It was from the one night we shared. Tears filled my eyes and an influx of feelings. A mix of fear… pain… and something else.

What was I supposed to do? Go back to him? Beg him?

My chest tightened painfully. He had already made his choice and I didn’t want him trapped or hating me again.

“I’m keeping the baby,” My voice was a little more than a croak as I whispered to a concerned Asaph.

She had tears rimming her eyes as she stared at me deeply. “Leila. Are you sure?”

I nodded slowly.

“It’s mine,” I whispered. “Even if he doesn’t want me… this child is mine.”

She reached for my hand and squeezed it. 

“I’m so sorry about this, Leila. We’ll figure it out together.” She pulled me into a comforting hug as I bawled my heart out.

Three months later, I left quietly without telling anyone. I changed my name, starting a new life in a different city.

Six years later…

“Ms. Vale, the meeting is in thirty minutes.”

I nodded, adjusting my blazer as I looked at my reflection. Leilani was gone and I was someone else. I was the CEO of Palmfrond enterprises, a fast growing multi-million dollar enterprise, known internationally. A proud mother to Lisande, a beautiful and smart five year old, and one of the city’s most powerful investors.

I was back as a different person. But the city hadn’t changed.

“Ms. Vale,” someone greeted politely. “Your potential partner is already inside.”

I nodded in response and turned to look at my reflection, smiling proudly at how far I had come. 

I had prayed for answers, but nothing came to me, and it hurt to think that even God had been silent. And so I had simply worked. My job and my child made me feel important, and that was the next best thing to happiness. My job made me feel respected, even if I was unloved. So I worked, and worked, and worked, until I couldn’t breathe anymore.

Now I was back in the city that raised me, to expand my name.