I almost laughed.

If he knew the real surprise waiting for him on our wedding day, I wondered if he’d still sound so calm.

I smiled faintly instead. “Okay.”

That seemed to relax him.

Then he placed another takeout box on the table and pushed it toward me.

“Eat while it’s warm,” he said.

I opened the container slowly.

Steak. Again.

Probably leftovers from another dinner with Judith.

I looked up at Gideon quietly. He loosened his tie and leaned back against the counter confidently.

That was always our relationship. He hurt me then gave me scraps of kindness afterward expecting me to forgive him immediately.

I stared at the steak for a long moment before finally speaking.

“I can’t eat this.”

Gideon frowned slightly. “Why?”

“I’m allergic to beef.”

His body visibly stiffened.

“What?”

I looked at him quietly. “I’ve always been allergic to cow’s meat since kid.”

For the first time in years, Gideon actually looked shaken.

A flash of panic crossed his cold face.

“I...” He stopped talking for a second. “I didn’t know.”

Of course he didn’t. How could he? Men who truly loved someone remembered things like that.

I shook my head gently.

“It’s okay.”

Because strangely enough... I really meant it now.

Gideon looked away first.

Maybe out of guilt, he suddenly started cleaning up the food containers himself before speaking again in a lower voice.

“Come with me tomorrow,” he said. “We need to discuss the wedding details with the families.”

In the past, hearing that would’ve made me secretly happy for days. Now my heart felt completely still.

I wanted to refuse. I needed time to keep writing before my memories disappeared again. I didn’t want to waste energy pretending to be a happy bride anymore. But Gideon kept staring at me silently, waiting for an answer. In the end, I closed my notebook slowly and nodded.

“Okay.”

…

The Salerno estate felt heavier the moment I stepped inside.

Gideon’s parents welcomed me warmly, acting as if nothing had happened. As if their son hadn’t stood me up and humiliated me in front of the entire mafia circle at the engagement banquet.

His mother held my hands too tightly when she greeted me.

“Selah, you’re too thin,” she said, pushing food closer. “You need to eat more.”

His father sighed between sips of tea.

“That boy has been impossible lately. We already reprimanded him. What he did was unacceptable.”

I gave a small polite nod and ate a few bites even though I had no appetite. Across the table, Gideon sat relaxed in his chair, expression cold and unreadable.

They began discussing the bride price and wedding arrangements, voices controlled but tense underneath.

Then Gideon’s phone rang. The moment he looked at the screen, everything about him changed.

He stood up immediately.

“I’ve got urgent matters. Handle the wedding yourselves.”

His father’s tone sharpened. “Gideon, sit down! We’re discussing your marriage.”

Gideon didn’t even look at him.

“I said I’m fucking busy.”

Then he walked out. The door closed behind him and the room fell into an awkward silence.

All eyes slowly turned to me, waiting for a reaction I didn’t have. I lifted my teacup and took a slow sip. Was I supposed to feel something stronger?

I set it down carefully. His figure leaving already felt distant, like it didn’t fully belong in my memory anymore. Maybe I really won’t feel pain over him much longer.

That thought didn’t cut the way it used to.

It just… floated there.

…

Gideon didn’t come back for five days. Every day, another page of my calendar was torn away.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Like time was quietly erasing me along with my memories. I stayed mostly in my room during that time, writing in my diary whenever I could.

Was this what dying felt like? Slow forgetting?

Without Gideon around, the house actually felt easier to breathe in. No tension in my chest. No waiting for footsteps that never made me feel safe anyway.

The Salerno family was furious with him though. I heard shouting through phone calls and servants whispering in the halls.

Their empire heir acting like this, ignoring responsibilities, ignoring me, but I didn’t care anymore.

Twenty three days left until surgery.

Time felt too slow and too fast at the same time. My headaches got worse, sharp enough that I had to start taking painkillers just to function. Sometimes I’d sit there holding my head and wonder quietly.

How much of me will still be here after this?

The only clear memory of Gideon left in my head now was him saving me when I was younger.

Nothing else stayed sharp anymore.

Then one afternoon, Mr. Salerno called me personally.

“Selah, I’m sorry about my son,” he said. “He’s been… difficult lately.”

I already understood what this really meant. They were scared. Scared the Laureen family might pull support from the Salerno Empire if this marriage fell apart. It was always politics underneath everything. Still, I knew his parents were kind people. They treated me well when I was younger. So I didn’t blame them.

“I’m okay,” I told him gently.

After the call ended, I just sat there for a while. I wasn’t angry anymore. Not even sad. Just tired. Even Gideon’s father couldn’t seem to find him lately. But I already knew where he was. Judith made sure everyone knew.

Her social media posts never stopped.

Mountaintop sunrise photos. Beach sunsets. Amusement park rides where she and Gideon sat close together. Her hand in his. Cliffside pictures where they kissed like nothing else existed.

Each post felt deliberate. Like she wanted me to see it. In the past, it would’ve destroyed me. I probably would’ve cried until I couldn’t breathe. Now I just stared at it for a few seconds and closed the app.

Childish.

That was the only word that came to mind.

Is this really what I used to fight over?

A man who could look at someone else like that while I waited at home?

I didn’t even feel jealous anymore.

Just… detached. Like he wasn’t mine to lose in the first place.

...

Days kept passing.

My diary was almost full. My hand cramped from writing too much. Outside the window, sunlight spilled into the room and warmed my face.

It felt strange.

There were only 18 pages left on the calendar.

18 days until everything ends.

I thought I should go out and see the city before the surgery.

Since coming back, my life had been nothing but Gideon, Salerno Empire, Red Bullets meetings, expectations, silence.

I didn’t even know what I liked anymore.

Apart from Grandpa, no one knew about my surgery.

I didn’t want my parents to worry. I stood in front of the mirror and barely recognized myself. I quickly fixed my hair, grabbed my coat, and headed out. Maybe I just needed air. Maybe I just needed to feel like I was still alive.

But the moment I stepped outside the building, I bumped into someone solid.

I looked up.

Gideon.

He pushed past me slightly like I was in the way and walked inside.

“I thought you were so forgiving,” he said, not even looking back. “Didn’t expect you to complain to my parents.”

He walked straight into the living room and dropped onto the sofa. His face was tight with anger. I stayed standing near the doorway.

He stared at me like he was waiting for me to apologize.

“Judith’s been struggling lately,” he said. “She has brain cancer. As for the wedding, it’s still happening.”

“Okay.”

Gideon froze. He actually looked stunned.

Like he expected tears. Arguments. Something he could control.

His eyes narrowed slightly. “You should come with me to a party tonight,” he said after a moment. “Since you’re going to be my wife, you should meet my people.”

“No need,” I said softly.

“What do you fucking actually want?” he snapped, standing up. “Don’t act like this just because I’ve been busy. I’ve given you a chance already!”

A chance.

I looked at him quietly. He really thought everything between us was just about chances. About him deciding when I was worth noticing.

“I’m not your possession, Selah. I have my own life too.”

That part almost made me smile. He stormed toward the door before I could respond.

“I gave you an opening,” he said over his shoulder. “Don’t come back begging later.”

The door slammed shut behind him. And just like that, the house went silent again.

I rubbed my temples and walked over to the calendar and tore off another page. The paper made a soft sound in the silence. Two weeks left. That was all.

...

Gideon and I spent the next few days moving through the city separately, finally visiting places we had once talked about over the past four years but never actually gone to. Mountains, old streets, small restaurants hidden between busy roads. It should’ve felt meaningful, but it didn’t. It felt more like two strangers completing unfinished tasks before parting ways.

Today, after everything, I ended up at a riverside restaurant. The sunlight outside was warm, the water calm, and for the first time in a while, I actually felt a little lighter. I didn’t expect him to be there.

But Gideon was already inside, sitting across from Judith. Long curled hair, soft face, eyes always a little too confident. Gideon leaned forward slightly, focused only on her. His hands were peeling shrimp carefully for her. No hesitation, no coldness. He fed her gently, like she was something fragile he was afraid to lose. Judith smiled at him, eyes soft and satisfied, and Gideon looked at her the same way.

I stopped walking for a second, then moved to a seat far away near the window. I didn’t say anything, didn’t interrupt. I had already told myself I wouldn’t fight anymore.

Around us, the restaurant slowly noticed them. Whispers spread, heads turned, phones lifted. Gideon Salerno didn’t usually appear in public like this, not without guards, not without control over every angle. But tonight he looked almost ordinary. Judith leaned closer as people started clapping and cheering, someone shouting for them to kiss.

Judith didn’t hesitate. She turned toward him, eyes glossy, lips parted like she had been waiting. Gideon paused for only a second, then gave in and kissed her. The whole place erupted in applause and cheers, like they were watching the ending of a perfect love story, the kind people root for without thinking about anyone else in the room.

I stayed by the window, quiet and still, hands resting on the table without movement. Was I supposed to feel betrayed? Or stupid? Nothing came clearly, only a faint tiredness. Maybe I really was just in the way of something that already belonged to them.

Judith noticed me first. Even from across the room, I saw the curve of her lips, that quiet satisfaction she didn’t bother hiding. A moment later Gideon pulled back from the kiss, breath uneven, still caught in the attention of the room, and his eyes followed hers. Then he saw me.

Everything shifted instantly. His expression tightened, warmth gone. He stood up and walked straight toward me. Before I could react, something heavy hit my face. Beef. Hot, greasy. The smell filled my senses at once. I blinked slowly, more stunned than hurt.

“You’re fuckinv stalking me now?” Gideon’s voice cut through the silence.

The restaurant went still. I wiped my face with my sleeve, oil smearing across my skin, warm and disgusting.

His jaw tightened when I didn’t react the way he expected. For a brief second something flickered in his eyes, then disappeared.

“That was just a misunderstanding. Don’t make a scene,” he said colder now. “Judith is here too. Go apologize to her.”

I looked past him. Judith sat perfectly still, watching with a calm, satisfied expression.

So that’s the “sick” woman he was so worried about. Only a fool like Gideon would believe all of this.

I pushed my chair back and stood. “I’m leaving,” I said quietly and turned toward the exit.

“Stop.”

I didn’t.

His hand grabbed me and shoved me hard. I lost balance at once and hit the stairs. My head struck the edge with a brutal crack. Pain exploded through my skull as warmth spilled down instantly. My vision blurred, everything tilting.

Sounds around me warped, footsteps, voices, gasps, all distant like I was underwater. Through the haze I saw Gideon standing there, cold, unmoved. Then he turned away, pulling Judith closer like nothing had happened.

“You’re the one who caused this,” his voice cut through faintly. “Don’t expect forgiveness unless you apologize to Judith! Pathetic.”

The words barely reached me. My ears rang. My head split open with pain then darkness.

When I woke up, there was a man sitting beside my bed.

“You’re awake,” he said, leaning forward and carefully adjusting the pillow behind my head. “I’m Mordecai Moretti. You came in covered in blood, I thought we were going to lose you.”

I forced myself to sit up a little, my body heavy and slow, and I thanked him quietly while telling him I could cover the medical fees. He immediately waved it off, saying he was a doctor and saving people was normal for him, then he asked if he should call my family.

That question made my chest tighten for a second, but I shook my head and refused. I couldn’t let my parents see me like this and worry even more when everything tied back to the Laureen family and Salerno Empire was already breaking them apart.

There was no point adding more weight to them, not now, not when I barely had time left anyway.

Mordecai didn’t push after that. He just nodded like he understood there were things I wasn’t ready to say, and in the days that followed he kept coming back quietly, sometimes bringing medicine, sometimes just checking on me without asking too many questions. He never made me feel small or like I was a burden, and that alone felt strange because I couldn’t remember the last time someone treated me like I was just a person and not part of some mafia arrangement or debt.

During those ten days in the hospital, my phone kept lighting up with messages I didn’t fully want to open. My parents checked on me gently, Gideon’s name appeared more than once, and Judith’s messages were always there in between.

Photos of them together. Smiles at dinners. Private moments meant to be seen.

At first I thought it would still hurt, but it didn’t. I would just look at the screen for a second, then turn it off. Even Gideon’s name started to feel distant, like it belonged to someone I used to know in a life that wasn’t mine anymore. The pain I used to carry for him had already started fading, and I wasn’t sure when that happened.

...

When I was discharged, the sunlight outside felt strangely warm against my skin. My steps felt lighter too, like something heavy inside me had finally started to loosen, and I remember wondering if this was what it felt like to stop waiting for someone who was never going to turn around anyway.

I went back to the Salerno estate afterward.

The bridal chamber was quiet, too quiet, and I went straight to the study to get my diary because I needed to keep writing down whatever memories I still had left before they disappeared completely. I was still reaching for it when I saw her.

Judith.

She was already inside, sitting comfortably in my space holding my diary in her hands and flipping through it without hurry. Her expression changed the moment she saw me, turning into something sharp and amused at the same time.

“So this is what you’ve been hiding,” she said softly. “All these little notes about your sad life. Aww, poor girl.”

My fingers tightened instantly.

“That’s mine!" My voice came out sharper than I expected.

She tilted her head, amused. “Everything in this house is connected to Gideon,” she replied. “Including you. Don’t you get tired of pretending you matter?”

I took a step forward. “Give it back.”

She sighed dramatically and flipped another page. “I wonder what you wrote about me,” she said. “Or about him. Did you cry while writing it? Did it hurt when you realized you were never really his choice?”

“Give it back!"

She smiled wider, then footsteps came from outside the door. Judith noticed it immediately. And in one quick motion, she slammed her head against the edge of the desk, hard.

She dropped to the floor right after, screaming.

“Don’t touch me! Gideon, help! Selah is hurting me! Gideon!"

My eyes widened. What? Before I could even move, the door slammed open and Gideon walked in.

His presence filled the room instantly, heavy and controlled, and his eyes moved first to Judith on the floor, then to the torn diary pages scattered everywhere, and finally to me standing there.

And that was all it took.

His expression hardened.

He didn’t ask anything.

He didn’t hesitate.

He grabbed a stool nearby and brought it down on me without warning.

Pain exploded through my body as I dropped to the floor, my breath breaking instantly, and above me his voice came cold and furious, already decided.

“You never stop fucking causing problems, Selah! Now you’re even hurting her.”

I stared at the torn diary in my hands and couldn’t think at all.

My mind felt completely empty.

I had already been avoiding Gideon as much as I could, staying quiet, staying out of his way, trying not to exist in front of him anymore, so why did he still keep hurting me?

Why wasn’t it enough for him to ignore me?

Pain burned across my back where the stool had hit me, but I still held onto the damaged notebook tightly. My fingers shook while I gathered the ripped pages because there were already too many things I couldn’t remember anymore.

If these pages disappeared too, then those memories would disappear with them.

Gideon stood over me with bloodshot eyes, fury written all over his face.

“Selah,” he said through clenched teeth, “you’ve really disgusted me this time. I never thought you’d become this vicious.”

His voice got harsher with every word.

“Judith’s already struggling because of the wedding and now you’re trying to hurt her too? Do you actually want to drive her to death?”

I slowly raised my head and looked at him.

For a second, Gideon froze after meeting my eyes. Something flickered across his face, almost uncertain, almost uneasy, but it disappeared quickly.

Anyone with common sense could tell Judith hurt herself on purpose.

Anyone could see it.

But Gideon never looked at Judith with reason.

To him, she was always innocent.

Always fragile.

Blood slowly soaked through my clothes and stained the floor beneath me.

“You fucking clearly did something wrong,” he said. “Judith wouldn’t accuse you for no reason. I’m already letting this go because of everything you’ve done for me and the Salerno family.”

He crouched slightly in front of me, his tone colder now.

“So stop making trouble and apologize to her! Do that, and we’ll end this here.”

I just stared at him quietly.

Apologize?

After he nearly broke my back for another woman?

After everything?

Even if I forgot the past, my body still remembered pain.

I said nothing.

Gideon’s expression darkened immediately. He probably thought he had already compromised enough and that I should obediently accept it, the way I always used to.

But I couldn’t.

Not anymore.

A mocking laugh escaped him.

“Fine,” he snapped. “If you’re still acting stubborn, then maybe this marriage should end here.”

He grabbed Judith protectively and pulled her closer before heading toward the door.

Then he stopped for one last second and looked back at me with cold disappointment.

“Don’t come crying and begging later, Selah. I gave you enough chances already, and all you’ve done is disappoint me.”

The door slammed shut so hard the walls trembled.

The sound echoed inside my head until dizziness rushed over me again.