"No! She's not coming back!"

Lucy grabbed my sister’s arm when it showed strong opposition to Aunt Matilda’s decision.

"Hijo, if you want to go in your way..."

She gripped his cellphone and threw it on the table. I swallowed the lump in my throat. What is this mess again?

"You answered the eternal call there on my phone!"

Lourd's lips parted and he stood up and turned his back on us. He rubbed his nape, suppressing anger. I found Lucy's confused eyes. I bit my lip.

"Lourd, maybe we should follow Aunt Matilda."

"And what? You got bitten by that issue? Coming back to the Philippines will just fuel the fire! You will just look defensive because you went back there to cover your name!"

My eyes begged him to calm down. He seemed to have a hard time seeing my eyes.

"She will not cover her name Lourd, she will come back to the Philippines because that is the company's order."

Even Matilda. I nodded in agreement. He keeps on jumping into conclusions so here is the warmth of his head again.

"Babe you knew she needed to follow the company. Her contract hasn't ended yet."

 His condolences here.

"Then fucking end that contract!"

His voice thundered and I closed my eyes firmly there. My heart skipped a bit. Tita Matilda's phone that kept ringing made the situation worse.

"Do you hear yourself Lourd? Ava is one of the highest paid models today, she can't just make stupid decisions!"

Aunt Matilda grabbed his penis and picked up her phone to answer it. He got up and went to the kitchen.

"Lourd, I t-think I really need to go back."

He hopelessly shook his head. He put both his hands on the back of the sofa.

"What the fuck is that scandal Ava?"

"N-no! It's not me!"

Don't tell me he believed that?

"But I saw it! The posture and the hair as well as the shape of the body are just like you!"

My mouth hanged opened, so he really did think that was true?

"There's also this picture of you Ava with that guy, and it's really your face in the picture. It's dark but I can still see your face and you're wearing that gown you wore in -"

I picked up my cellphone and clicked on the link sent by aunt Matilda. There I saw some unbelievable article with a video that I could no longer afford to watch as well as a few photos.

It's ... It's really me. That's me! My face was clearly visible as I leaned against the wall and a man surrounded me. In the next photo, I can't see my face anymore because the man's head is already covered, which makes it look like we're kissing. I was breathing fast along with the trembling of my hand. This is Jomar. This is the night in Mar De Vena high and we have this Graduation ball. I remember it!

"This is ... me."

It came from me but even I couldn't believe it. Lucy sighed but Lourd's expression was helpful and seemed incredulous.

 "I m-mean ... I'm the one in the picture. But I haven't had any scandal! For godess sake, Lourd!"

I rubbed my forehead and sank into my arms. I cried at what was happening. I was afraid that this issue was already making noise in the Philippines, but that fear was not for me. I was afraid for my brother, everything would be wasted of his suffering for nothing. He's okay now, we're okay now and now just because of one picture will mess everything up again. The next days were crucial. I had to finish my last projects with all the noise. Everywhere I go, medias are everywhere and over time I am choking. I answer Aunt Matilda's call.

"I booked your ticket. I will also take care of your university. For now let's focus on our deadline. When we arrive in the Philippines, we will take care of everything."

I fell silent and stare at myself at the mirror. Am I really coming back?

"Yes tita, thank you."

I wore denim in the last batch of the catalog. This is my last shoot in New York. And after, reality will hit me hard as soon as I stepped into the Philippines. I accept their decision, if they remove the contract it's okay, I'm in my last year of college and I think I have enough savings for that.

The information about my return here is hidden, I don't know how the company and aunt Matilda took steps to make my return home so peaceful. I'm on the right company, it's just embarrassing that I'll leave them with shame.

When we left Mar De Vena we only stayed here a week then we left for New York. I didn't even have time to marvel at the beauty of Manila that I used to only see on television. I used to think this city was beautiful, because of the buildings I always adore, the city lights I've always wondered but not yet. New York was beyond it.

My arrival didn’t create noise, no headlines, no articles and all. I don't know how I'll deal my life if the news spreads out all over. I arranged some paperwork given to me by Tita Matilda, I don't know how she arranged everything and I transferred so fast even though I still have a year to finish. I just need to find an internship here and attend a few classes at the university I attended as an irregular student and it’s all set. I'm gonna take the review and get my license.

This is the power of money, I thought then that if I just study and have my own principles everything will be easy but that is not what life has taught me.

Hard as it is to admit, it is easier for privileged people to deal with day-to-day, while others still have to reach both ends just to get what they want. Or worst, they won’t even get it, it will stay as an illusion.

"Yes tita, I'm running some errands today. Do you mind if you can email the address of some companies that I can coordinate with regarding the internship?"

"Oh yes, of course."

The email popped out. I wondered.

"It's only one address tita .."

"Uhm yes! That's the only company who can handle an intern professionally. The others who recommended me have dirty management so that's all I'll give you."

I nodded and read the address. I'm still not familiar with Manila. It's also a good thing not having a car because for sure I might not be able to use it anyway. I'll just book a car service to make things easier.

I read the schedule given to me and that wasn’t that bad. I have to attend class once a week. I would have liked to be a regular student but it is unclear what will happen because big adjustments will be made.

The curriculum is different in other countries and here so maybe I won't base too much on that. The most important thing is to finish my last year together with the internship.  

There is nothing wrong with the chaos of Manila and the chaos of New York. That's the charm of the city, isn't it ironic how you find peace in a chaotic place? The tranquility provided by the city is different. After a long day you'll feel that life hasn't ended yet, you feel worn out. The night doesn’t seem to end, but somehow you’ve still managed to have a good rest and peace of mind.

"I have an appointment. Cyreese Suarez."

I smiled to the woman in corporate. She smiled but when she read my name to my ID she lost her smile and turned to me. They looked at another woman and they made a meaningful look at each other. I gulped due to nervousness.

"Can you wait for minutes ma'am? I'll just call it up." "Of course. Thank you." It stopped me from ignoring me and spoke to the intercom. A few seconds after he spoke he turned to me. "You can proceed to the 40th floor ma'am." It reached my ID. I thanked her and before I turned in the elevator I saw her and her desk companion whispering again. Now, that's uncomfortable.

I got to the 40th floor and compared to the floor I came from before, the people here are more frugal, almost free and not that spacious. There was just a long passage with some scaffolding decors around some places and it was more formal to see the people here. I went to a desk similar to the one before. There was a woman in uniform so I asked her.

"I'm here for an appointment. Internship-" "This way ma'am, let me fill you with some drink while you wait. Mr. President is still on a meeting." President? Isn’t all I need to talk to is the Manager or even just HR? Before I was finished he left and guided me to a place where there were small tables and soft furniture. I would have asked him more but it was like a robot just left in front of me.

I read my lower lip as I leaned back on the soft single sofa. I felt my eyes bulge due to drowsiness, I didn’t immediately fall asleep last night. I was still adjusting my sleeping time. I even had to draw things just to sleep. I lifted the pinched hem of my corporate cream formal long sleeve, the same as the loose high waist short at my waist. Just a simple black embroided spaghetti top was inside of my corporate. My straight and long hair is loose.

I didn't even have time to groom myself. And at least I've managed to wear my black talons even if I'm just forced to. I prefer flats but these are the only formal shoes I carry. It hurts the eyes if I pair doll shoes or sneakers here. I remember Lucy again, she used to help me with my outfits.

Next to me are the wide mirrors. The busy city is clearly visible here. The Philippines is very different. The woman came and dropped it a tall glass with only iced tea. I kept looking back at the desk to see if I would be called but still nothing. Someone came out, that man at a glass door and imagined.

I was called but for a few minutes I was still not called. I tried to take a peek inside from the seat because it had a view of the surrounding glass of that room but I couldn't really see anything because those mirrors were tinted. After minutes of waiting I got bored, I checked my phone to entertain myself.

As soon as I left New York, I already turned off my social media accounts because it wouldn’t help if I could see people’s hefty issue with me. What's the news? New York already knew that I had to clean it to go to the Philippines. I was tempted to open my notifications but I manage to stop myself. Some message from Lourd, Justine and many more are left unread. I read them and filled in.

Justine: How's Philippines?

Me: It's OK.

Lourd: Damn paparazzi.

I chuckled. I was unable to reply to it. He must be fighting them again. This impatient man. Tsk. I was about to hang up the phone when Lucy's message popped out.

Lucy: Guess what?

I typed quickly in his enticing text.

Me: What?

Lucy: I ate chocolate.

My forehead furrowed. This woman!

Me: Lucy please ...

Where is the older brother? Why is he eating chocolates?

Lucy: Kidding. I miss you girl. My shoulder loosened when I read his text.

I smiled. Why does she sound so bored without me around? When in fact my life is so boring without her.

Me: Stop eating chocolates. I miss you too. Before I could send it, the intercom rang. My attention is on the lady in corporate now, wanting her to call me. I sent the text to Lucy and when I looked back she called me.

All smiling, I immediately put the cellphone in the bag. I got up and approached the door, I thanked the woman before entering. I looked around even though I hadn't entered the prose yet. Compared to its appearance on the outside, it has a wider interior.

The combination is a mixture of darkness and light. I narrowed my eyes because of the blur of my vision. I did not wear my lenses because my eyes are hurting due to lack of sleep. I also want to rest it. I entered completely and when I entered I saw more of the surroundings. I saw a man's posture leaning with his back in front of the table.

My breath hitched. Fvck. I almost took my breath away at what I saw. My knees trembled even as my hand clung tightly to the bag. I don't understand. Why is he here? This is not Vidalio Group of Hotels.

Why is he here? I can't ... no, I didn't expect this one coming. He's standing there looking so cocky with his gray long sleeves folded till his elbows, slacks ... his arms.

Damn. With his cold and dark expression. Four years, if I say nothing has changed in him is a big lie. I feel like he's way more taller now and his body became bulky than it used to be before. His hair is still looking so clean with it's cut but its style is different than before.

It's longer but still clean looking. My throat went dry and I blinked repeatedly. I never knew that this day will come, I'm not ready for this. I was never ready for this! Why didn’t I think of all this? The side of his lips rose.

"You might want to take a seat, Ms. Suarez." I think I swallowed my tongue and it was as if no more words wanted to come out of my mouth. His eyes are dangerous and his brows are furrowed, they're cold but I see irony in them. Fold it and let's get organized. Both of his hands are in his pocket now looking so proud standing there while I can't even imagine myself in his eyes right now.

How can he looked at me when I can't even met his eyes? He chuckled. He turned his back on me and circled in his chair. What will I do? Am I leaving? Say I just got the place wrong? But I had an appointment.

Why am I meeting him anyway !? I saw a raw grin on him. Strange heat rose to my cheek when I saw his eyes traverse me from head to toe. Fury and not of anything else. Damn him. I can't just run to this. He is the one who is behind me so why would I run? 

I do not know what to do. With trembling legs I went to the front of his desk. I can feel him staring at me, my heart won't stop beating wildly. I don’t know if I’m going to continue this or I’m going home. I gulped the lump on my throat. This life is fucked up anyway, let me just deal with this. I sat up straight as I bravely looked into his eyes as if I was unaffected. I have no other idea how dangerous they are. His jaw are sharp the stables are on it.

He's matured before but he looks more mature now. His lips twitched and raised his eyebrows as if he was waiting for me to say something.

"I ... uhm ..."

My voice can't stop stuttering. Why am I being like this? I saw him glance at his wristwatch and part my lips there. Okay ...

"Your people have brought me here. If you're busy then might as well send me to your HR so I can properly deal my concerns."

I saw him stop at what I said as I kept my gaze on his watch. The edge of his lip lifted again and he leaned back in his large swivel chair.

"Go on. I'm all ears." I rolled my eyes in disbelief. The nerve of this man. Really Tita Matilda? Treat their intern professionally? Says who?

"I want to apply a-as an intern." I tried so hard. Its head tilted as if confused by what I was saying.

"Intern? Sale Representative or ..." He couldn't continue.

"Architectural."

Lazy amazement was the reaction he gave me. I stared at him intently as his eyes went straight to the papers in front of him. He's looking so bored dealing with me. My blood boiled when I saw that reaction. What does he think of me? While living model? He looked at the papers in front of him and reached for his pen, the friction of the pen was the only noise. Didn't he hear me? Many things have changed in him, but for some reasons I cannot pinpoint what those are. If his aura used to be cold and dark now it is even worse. His built look so tight with that long sleeve hugging his body.

He wrote a few pages of paper and I still didn't hear anything. I look stupid in front of him. Did I made an appointment just to watch him scribble on those papers?

"Have you not heard me, Mr. Vidalio?"

His signature was left on the air and did not continue. He slowly rotated the ball pen and laid it on his clean table. He loosened the neck tie he was wearing and stood up. His shadow covered the bright city behind him. My heart beat went violent. He laid his two hands on the table and now my tongue seemed to retreat from the coldness of his gaze on me.

"Loud and clear, Ms. Suarez."

It was almost like a whisper. He turned his back on me and faced the city in the wide mirror of his office. I badly wanted to get out. Just a touch of my patience and I'll run out. Damn the internship!

"I don't know if we have an available-"

"Then I'm leaving."

I quickly stood up and grabbed my bag and turned to leave.

"Isn't that too unprofessional for a future Architect in the making?"

I almost broke my teeth at the pressure I felt. The tone of his voice was sarcastic and my head grew hotter. I faced him again and saw him approaching me. Anyone will probably fake the smile I gave to him so I hope he can get it.

"Thank you for your time Mr. Vidalio, it's my pleasure to leave."

He cocked his head when stopped going near me. Even from a distance I could smell her perfume. The familiar scent of him. It was as if I had suddenly forgotten my anger just now

. "We're not yet done talking.

" "We are. So if you'll excuse me."

I would have turned my back again when he came closer to me. I was taken a back. Now there is no denying, his scent was still the same as before. I restrained myself from revealing that I was affected by him.

"We are never done."

He clenched his jaw. Her eyes grew darker. My pupils have lost its focused and my heart shuttered into pieces looking at his deep brown eyes. I could clearly see the change in emotion in his eyes. I saw a mixture of pain, anger and sadness here. I tried to deny it but that's really what I see. I was exhausted to see them. I seem to want to give everything up to him now.

"What am I gonna do here then? I'm not going to get anything out of it."

I answered with all might even though I knew he was referring differently to what he said.

"We do have, let me settle it with my secretary-"

"Then I'll just come back."

I turned away in great fear of being able to start a conversation with him. But before I could take a step his rough hand covered my wrist. His eyes are cold. I can't see anything but coldness and nothing more. My heart fluttered and shattered in pain at the same time. Why do I feel like I'm the one at fault? Why does it seem like I still have to feel guilty when he has to explain it to me? My eyes heated upon seeing him this close, all the memories of him left in me playback and stung like hell.

The pain I’ve felt since I chose to leave everything as if nothing had happened seems like I regret now seeing her eyes like this. In the past 4 years I dare not to hear anything from him, I have been forced to go deaf and blind. I never checked his social media accounts, I didn't even tried to search any article of him. Even occasionally I hear his name. I chose to ignore and go on as if I didn't meet him in my whole life. But now that he is so close to me my own feelings are degrading me. I can't pretend, my heart is angry but it's even more annoying that after all I still feel this way for him.

The former myself who was willing to follow everything he wanted until it reached surrender returns. And that's not what I wanted this to be. I've been denying this the whole time, this is one of the things I dread when I come back here. Half heartedly, I came back here. Not because I want to fix my issues, but a part of me is still hoping for this moment to come. But the reality is I was never prepared for this kind of encounter. Because if I had told myself I was ready I would not have felt this way.

I'm ready if I'm numb, and clearly that's not how I feel right now. I used to be brave, or I wasn't really brave either. I was just pretending to be, because I'm afraid he might see my real emotions and feelings. He stared at my eyes and it was like taking a glimpse of my soul. I can see how his cold eyes turned a bit shock and blood shot. His lips parted and the words he tried seemed to be left in the air he would say. As much as I wanted to ask how is he, I can't.

I’m trying to battle myself with my heart, my heart repeatedly reminding me that the wound this man left on me is huge. How is she? He's of age, maybe he has a girlfriend or maybe he's already married. A cold steel cut my chest realizing what I just thought. If that's true, he's fine with me, he looks well and healthy, I can just see that he's fine with me. His grip on my wrist loosened and he didn't seem to know what to do. I averted my gaze from him and quickly wiped away the fugitive and treacherous tears.

"U-uhm, sorry for the inconvenience. If there's no available slot then I think I'll just go."

My voice was shaking and I couldn’t help but look at him now following my movements.

"We do. My secretary can settle that matter." I nodded, not to myself. The marble floor in his office was my focus, not knowing what to say next. Can I just refuse and say I will look for someone else? But that'll be rude, I'll just agree, when I come back I'll look for another company, the one without him.

"Email me your-" I looked up at him as he stopped. He looked up and read her lower lip. I gulped, I averted my gaze again.

"Give me your number."

"Huh?"

"So we can ... update you about your application."

"Just contact m-my manager."

"Is he the intern?"

I stopped at his cold tone. None of myself nodded again, not knowing how I was going to give him what he was asking for. I just want to get out of this situation and get stuck. He took his cellphone out of his pocket and handed it to me. My hand are still shaking and an unfamiliar cold is running inside my stomach. My own soul had fled from me.

I typed my number and his phone and I made a mistake as if I didn't memorize it. I'm just so nervous knowing that he's looking at me, tracing all my flaws. He didn’t speak when I handed him the phone back and he just kept looking at the number and pressing what was there.

"I'll go now. T-thank you." It nodded.

"I'll call you." I glanced at him questioning his statement. Her lips twitched.

"For the internship ..."

My lips parted at what he said. Yeah right, what else is the reason for him calling?

"Y-yeah."

I nodded and stormed out.

I couldn't even thank the woman who greeted me, I just left and vowed never to come back. I almost hurt myself as I walked out of the building, a mixture of embarrassment and frustration was felt. If I deny that I was not affected by our meeting that is a big lie. He looks so well, as if I’m the only one who’s been miserable these past few years.

And it pained my heart, to think that he was fine and seemed to have forgotten that while I was still left with the wound of yesterday. I'm not being irrational but I think it's true, that games and big nonsense are just past us. I’m the only one affected by it and I’m the only one who can’t forget it. He's fine now. That's enough for me to know. Going back to the unit, I cried so bad. I cried until I felt like I was wasting tears.

"Auntie, find me someone else."

"Why? What's wrong? Have you gone yet? I've already set an appointment-"

"Yes, just find another."

I narrowed my eyes as I leaned on the head board of the bed here at Lourd's condo. I felt the soreness of my body, I didn't do any activity all day but I felt very tired.

"But hija, that's all I've seen capable of handling--"

"Please! Lourd's brother is the CEO of that company tita!"

I sighed. The line is quiet. I didn't mean to shout at her. He was not at fault because most likely if he knew Levi was the CEO of that company he wouldn’t have suggested that to me. She doesn’t know anything about me and Levi, all she knows is the issue of my brother in that family.

"Sorry, I didn't know. I'll send another address."

What he said calmed my mind. I massage my temple while talking to her about my errands today and my issue. He just preached to me and said goodbye afterwards. There are also some text that I haven't replied yet, so I have already answered them. I’ve caught my brother surprisingly because I’m not bombarded with calls or texts.

I was about to say that I met his brother today but I think It will be better if I don't say it. I will also look for another company and we will not meet again. I don’t want to exaggerate that thing anymore. My only prayer was that the news would not reach his mother because I did not know what could have happened. I lighted a candle to help myself ease the stress I'm feeling.

I tried to concentrate on good things, I repeatedly mentioned the things I was grateful for. Whenever I'm feeling sad and being eaten by anxiety I always do this routine. It is true that if you are sad, no one can help you but yourself. That's why it's important to find happiness within yourself and not to other people. For the latter you also know what will make you happy whenever sadness engulfs you. After a few minutes of relaxing I decided to search for the address that tita Matilda sent me.

I already know the backgrounds of the companies and maybe I can see another Vidalio in them. Gladly, I didn’t see any Vidalio. VREC I went back to the name of the company I had gone to earlier to answer the questions in my mind. I searched for it and some results came out there. I close my eyes emphatically when I see what those letters mean.

Vida Real Estate Company. Great. I'm so dumb. Only a few letters were removed and Vidalio meant it. My lips are twitching reading some of the articles about that company. VREC, it was launch 3 years ago. Some of the statements I read were just all about how this company is rising and climbing to the top in just a span of years. It is new but it is well known and looked up to.

No wonder, the Vidalio group of hotels are one of the well known estates of this day so if Levi is the owner of this new company it is no wonder. Some of the articles about him are wholesome. Thrifty and just about often he manages his established company. I tried to dig more into it, but I also didn’t find what I was looking for. I can't believe I'm just seeing it all now, a few years ago. He's an intimidating successful business man before but now, he's out of reach. The more he couldn't reach. And in those past years, it’s obvious that he probably had someone in life while I’m away.

Damn, I was never a part of him probably, I'm just assuming. Why do I even need to know if he has a girlfriend or is he married? I shifted my gaze to the cellphone next to me. He said he'll call me, or maybe his secretary. Yeah, I should stop expecting anything from him. Whatever we have you have long since finished. He seems to be happy with what he is achieving in life, I'm ... happy for him.

I woke up late the next day, what time did I fall asleep again last night, I was just rolling around in bed and didn't know what to do, my eyes just hurt because my mind was wide awake. I visited a few units I was scheduled to visit. Life is not hard in New York, I've earned just enough for my needs because I can't spend money there. I also receive a lot of financial support from the company, and of course all my hard work from tons of projects are paid for. I never know that I could have that much on my bank.

Then a simple life was enough for me, it's still the same today. So now that I have something to provide for what I have worked for, maybe it is not bad to reduce it a little.

"This is nice."

Out of all the units I’ve visited, the latter is the one I liked the most. It's not that grand for a single person, it has 2 rooms and it was simple and fully furnished, the walls are white, the. ceilings are high and it's modern. The masters bedroom has its own glass walk in closet.

The accent are touch of dust pink, the furniture are gray. One thing I realize is the interior is not that common, can't help but to admire the interior designer of this building. There's no veranda but I'm happy with the large wall windows, anything as long as I can see the size of the city is fine with me. I can imagine the look of this unit with plants, definitely more comfortable to the eye. We had a good conversation with the agent, I just have to wait for a week and I can move in.

This is how fast when you hold the ace, unlike the island back then. Mom and Dad still have to kneel down just so we won't be sent away, they still have to disappear ... just to fight for that island.

They might look like they've lost because they lost without winning the match, but they're together. There is no equal there. I was in the middle of contract signing when my phone rang. It was from an unknown number. My forehead furrowed, unknown number? I don't just give my number because it's my personal number. If it is a client, it will contact Aunt Matilda. I excused myself from the agents and answered the call. I looked at the entire city in the tall and wide mirror of the unit.

"Hi, this is Cyreese Suarez speaking."

I heard a sigh from the other line. I looked at the screen again because I didn't hear anything from it. I went back to my ear.

"This is Levi."

My cheeks turned cold hearing his voice. My jaw dropped when I realized that I had given him my number yesterday. But I thought her secretary will call me?

"Just ... About your internship."

He cleared his throat. My spirit was awakened by what I heard.

"U-uh, yeah! Yes? W-why?"

Why can't I even do this right?

"We have an available position for your application."

I close my eyes tightly, it is very difficult for me to hear his voice. It sounds deep and husky, just like how it sounds before. It feels nostalgic and it's digging deep into my soul.

"Do you have time? You can drop by to our building and settle this matter."

I bit my lip.

No! I just gave my number because I want to get out of there and not to enter his company. What do I do now that he's the one calling me and confirming my application? I searched for the words and I didn’t know what to say, would I refuse? I just let him think that I'm going but I won't really show up? I heard some breathing and shrug from the other line. I went back to trance.

"I have a schedule."

Schedule? Where did that come from? You have no job! The other line was quiet, my teeth bit my lip hard. Liar Ava! Liar!

"Then when is your free time? We can just meet and ..."

My heart boom real hard. Definitely no! I refused because I didn’t want to go to his company, clearly because I didn’t want to see him. And now that I've lied for that is even worse what he wants to happen? Now I know why it is bad to lie. Karma returns to you worse.

"I'm not sure yet ..."

I turned to the two agents who were talking. I smiled at them as if I wasn't buried because of what I was talking about.

"Oh." I just nodded. All I could hear was breathing.

"Okay ..."

"Thank you."

Fast forward to 4 o'clock I turned off the call, did I sound rude? No? But what he said was okay- ending the conversation, isn't that also goodbye? And do CEOs really have the one to call their intern? Ugh! I settled all the paper works for the unit, before I went home to Lourd's unit I went through the company again to hear any updates regarding the issue.

"Are you free this Friday? Join me at the salon, Jade is kind of- you know, busy with her man."

Sorry Olivia said. Olivia is a good friend of mine. Not only is Lucy and I close but we're pretty close, I also know her best friend Jade. Which I find amazing, because I remember back then that he and his wife went to Mar De Vena. I only realized that, because he looked so young then. I just didn't tell him because it didn't matter anymore.

After some updates from her mother, here she is, teasing me. Earlier, Ma'am Evangelista reprimanded her because she was completely mean to me while I was also talking to the IT who was hired for this matter. Olivia is two years older than me, the same age as Lucy. When she's in New York they would always pursue me to come with them whenever they have night outs.

I'm going but I just can't, that's not the night out I had in mind. There was even a time when I just locked myself in the rest room of the bar we went to. They would always make me drink liquors, I tasted it once and I never did it again. I'm fine being alone and enjoying tranquility. Lucy and I have a good temper.

"All right, I still don't have a job and classes."

She cried and even hugged me as if that was the happiest thing that had happened in her life. Her energy, I can't argue with that. He told me a lot more, as well as other models we both knew that he hated, he told me. I just nodded at what he was saying, I'm used to the two of them and Lucy, if it was here now the story of the two of them would probably be eternal again.

She laid the plans she has for Friday, she invited me to go to the salon too, as well as her other skin appointments. I just said that I will think about it because I am not the type who likes to give time to my external appearance. I don't even know if I have something to enhance, besides I'm fine being simple.

"Tell that bitch to come back here! She's been out for 4 months already!"

"She's with Lourd." I moved a few pages of the magazine I saw here in her mommy’s office.

"Lourd, Lourd, Lourd! Lourd again! They're just the same as Jade, so thirsty for dcks !." She made face.

My eyes widened at what he said and looked at the people here, I don't think he heard. Her mouth ...

"That's why I'm not in the thought of falling in love. You won't even realize that it's slowly changing you. I don't like the thought of surrendering your all just because you love that certain person. Duh."

He struggled in the air. I stopped at what he said. He knows the story of his friend trying to chase after a man who is also known here in the country. Lucy the Lourd? They are fine now but just like her friend Jade, Lucy also chased after Lourd when she was young. Like ... she just hit some point on that.

"If that's true love, why are you the only one who loves?" She asked.

"If that's true love, why are you the only one hurting? Its 21st century. They're too outdated to be martyrs."

Straight from the heart it hit me. She just spoke all my unsaid thoughts. That love, changed me a lot, I didn't even realize that it had changed me. When you love, there is a feeling that you are willing to give up everything because you think that is the right thing to do. You surrender everything even you have nothing left anymore.

You will give wholeheartedly, the trust and emotion you have spent. But love is not a one way street. If that is true love, why are you the only one who loves? Why are you the only one capable of surrendering yourself and resisting? Why would you settle yourself alone in a battle? Is your sacrifice worth to die for? Is that battle worth to fight for? Or maybe you're fighting the wrong person.

It's hard. Our creator surely knows how to discipline his children. You have to know if it's the right person or just the wrong time, or the wrong time and then just the wrong person.