Win My Favorite Him

In the darkness, I had been waiting for a long time before pretending to turn over casually.

The next second, the hand around my waist suddenly tightened, and a slightly hoarse voice came into my ears.

“Jocelyn, what do you want to do?”

I didn’t want to do anything. I just wanted to go home.

1

I had been locked in the house by Felix Lewis for half a month.

During this half month, he confiscated my phone and locked me in the house, not allowing me to contact anyone.

Every day, after he went to work, I was enveloped in a huge emptiness, staring at the ceiling alone.

I watered the flowers on the balcony over and over again with water flowing all over the floor.

I just numbly watched, without the mood to clean up.

The cat named Kitty panicked and looked at me pitifully.

This cat was very old and slept on the sofa every day.

It used to be a stray cat and wandered around my building for a long time.

After I secretly brought it home, my mom scolded me.

She didn’t like cats, dogs, or any small animals.

Unexpectedly, Felix secretly adopted it.

He kept the cat in the basement, giving it a shelter from wind and rain.

Now, the cat was leaning against me, its soft fur rubbing against my arm, and my heart felt a little warm.

Felix said it was Kitty.

Three months ago, I pretended to be drunk and confessed to Felix.

In the night, he pressed me against the corner of the wall and whispered in my ear, “Jocelyn, from now on, you can only be mine, forever.”

His voice was cold, with a bewitching power.

At that time, I was infatuated and mesmerized, without thinking about the true meaning of this sentence.

Now, I was Felix’s lover, but also his prisoner.

2

At 8 o’clock in the evening, the door rang. Felix pushed the door open and brought in a chill.

He changed his clothes, rubbed his hands fiercely, and then hugged me in his arms.

“Jocelyn, I’m back. Did you miss me today?”

His voice was very pleasant.

But his embrace made me feel unusually cold.

My body couldn’t help but tremble, but I didn’t want to struggle, letting him hold me in his arms.

“I missed you, a lot.”

I didn’t lie.

I had liked Felix for many years.

When he was 17, he stood under the banyan tree and smiled at me, wearing a blue striped shirt.

At that time, his smile was innocent, like rippling spring water.

That summer vacation, he helped me with my studies.

I had completely forgotten what I had learned.

My mind was full of his handsome profile, his every frown and smile, even the faint scent of lemongrass on him.

Felix was very aloof, even a bit solitary, but he was gentle to me.

This made me have many fantasies about him.

But I knew that he was a star in the sky, out of reach.

He had excellent grades and had been ranked first in the grade for years. At that time, he had already been admitted to the best university in the state.

As for me, my grades were average. If I could get into college, my parents would probably be overjoyed.

It was Felix who helped me to college.

He reorganized my notes, notes that even a poor student like me could understand.

He remembered every score of mine in every exam. Even if there was a 1-point improvement, I would receive a gift from him.

Sometimes it was a bag of snacks, sometimes it was a cup of coffee, and sometimes it was a handwritten letter.

The oppressive and boring life of high school seemed to be less difficult under Felix’s care.

I was like a fish lacking water, desperately swimming towards the ocean.

There was Felix and my youthful dreams.

I had liked Felix for many years.

Even though he was domineering and stubborn now, I still loved him.

Felix had warmed my entire youth.

I was a little afraid of him, but I still couldn’t let go of him.

This strange feeling made me feel ashamed.

He imitated my tone and sent messages to my family and friends, cutting off all my contact with the outside world and imprisoning me in this small house.

And yet, I still loved him.

This despicable thought made me a little disgusted with myself.

I thought I was probably seriously sick.