Chapter 3
The café across from Christina's building had good coffee and a window seat that faced the street. I sat there with my laptop open like I was working. I wasn't working. I was watching the entrance.
My phone sat face-up on the table. At seven-forty, it lit up. Not a call. Not a text. Just the sudden absence of one. Jace had read my last message—*Finishing up some wedding stuff. Don't wait up*—and hadn't replied.
I waited.
At seven-fifty-two, his car pulled up to the curb. Black. Familiar. The same one I'd ridden in a thousand times. He got out fast. Jacket unbuttoned. Hair a little messy like he'd been running his hand through it.
He didn't look up. Didn't check his phone. He walked straight into the building like he'd done it before. Like he knew exactly where he was going.
Twelve minutes. That's how long it had taken him to get here after she called.
I sat back in my chair. My coffee had gone cold. I didn't drink it.
There had been a part of me—small, stubborn, stupid—that had wanted to be wrong. That had wanted the parking ticket to be a mistake. The recording to be out of context. The late nights to have some explanation I hadn't thought of yet.
That part died right there in the window seat. Quiet. Clean. Like a candle going out in an empty room.
I closed my laptop. Left a twenty on the table. Walked out into the cold.
***
Two nights before the wedding, I let myself into Jace's penthouse one last time.
He was out. Dinner with a client, he'd said. I didn't ask which one. I didn't care anymore.
I moved through the rooms like a stranger cataloging someone else's life. The couch where I used to read while he worked. The kitchen where I'd made breakfast on Sundays. The bedroom where I'd slept beside him for five years and never once suspected I was sharing him.
I had three boxes left to pack. Books, mostly. A few framed photos I wanted to keep. Things that were mine before they were ours.
In his study, I pulled the last stack of books from the shelf. That's when I saw it. A drawer in the lower cabinet. Brass handle. Small keyhole.
I'd never noticed it before. Or maybe I had and it hadn't mattered.
I knelt down. Tried the handle. Locked.
I should have left it. I should have finished packing and walked out and never looked back.
I used a letter opener from his desk. The lock was old. It gave on the third try.
Inside was a leather-bound album. Dark blue. Expensive. The kind of thing you buy when you want to keep something forever.
I opened it.
College. Christina. Page after page of them. At a football game. On a beach somewhere warm. In someone's dorm room with red cups and string lights. Her head on his shoulder. His arm around her waist. Both of them young and happy and whole.
But it wasn't just the photos. It was the annotations. Jace's handwriting in the margins. Dates. Inside jokes I would never understand. *First snow. She made me hot chocolate.* *Her birthday. I got it right this time.* *The night I knew.*
I turned to the last page.
A single pressed flower. White. Dried and fragile. And beneath it, in his careful script:
*What I lost.*
I stared at it for a long time. Long enough for my knees to ache against the hardwood. Long enough for the room to go dark around me.
Then I closed the album. Put it back exactly where I'd found it. Locked the drawer. Stood up.
I didn't cry. I was past crying. Crying was for things you still wanted to save.
I finished packing. Carried the boxes to my car. Locked the penthouse door behind me and left the key on the kitchen counter where he'd find it.
I drove home with the windows down even though it was cold. I wanted the air to hurt.
***
The rehearsal dinner was at the Sullivan estate. Marble floors. Crystal chandeliers. A table long enough to seat thirty.
Mrs. Sullivan placed me at the far end. Surrounded by Sullivan cousins and business associates who talked about legacy like it was currency. Who asked polite questions about my family and smiled thinly when I answered. Who looked past me when someone more important walked by.
Jace sat at the other end. His mother beside him. Laughing. Toasting. Playing the role she'd perfected over decades.
I ate my salmon. Drank my wine. Smiled when someone said something they thought was funny.
Near the end of the evening, Mrs. Sullivan found me by the terrace doors.
"Sapphire." She touched my arm lightly. Her smile was warm. Perfect. "Tomorrow you officially become a Sullivan. I hope you understand what that means."
I looked at her. At the woman who had known about Christina. Who had decided it was manageable. Who had pressured me to be smaller and quieter and more convenient for five years.
"I understand perfectly," I said.
Her smile didn't falter. She squeezed my arm once and walked away.
It was the last sentence I would ever speak to her.
I stayed on the terrace until the dinner ended. Until the guests filtered out. Until Jace came looking for me with his jacket over his arm and his tie loosened.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Perfect," I said.
He kissed my forehead. "Big day tomorrow."
"Big day tomorrow," I echoed.
He didn't hear the difference in my voice. He never did.
I watched him walk back inside. Watched the lights go out one by one.
Then I got in my car and drove home.
One more day.
Chapter 4
Murphy knocked at seven. Three sharp raps like we'd rehearsed. I opened the door in my robe and bare feet. She stood there with my go bag over one shoulder and a bottle of champagne in her hand.
"Breakfast," she said.
She set the bag on the bed. Popped the cork. Poured two glasses into hotel water cups.
"To bad decisions," she said.
"To necessary ones," I corrected.
We drank.
She pulled the transmitter from her coat pocket. Small. Black. The size of a lipstick. She turned it over in her palm like she was checking the weight.
"You don't have to do this," she said quietly.
I met her eyes in the mirror. "I know. That's why I'm going to."
She nodded once. Set the transmitter on the vanity.
Then she unzipped the garment bag.
The dress was white. Lace and silk and tulle that caught the morning light. It cost more than my first car. I had chosen it because Mrs. Sullivan said it was appropriate. Because Jace had smiled when I showed him the sketch. Because I had wanted, once, to be the kind of woman who wore a dress like this and meant it.
Murphy held it open. I stepped in. She pulled the zipper up slowly. Adjusted the shoulders. Smoothed the fabric at my waist.
In the mirror, I looked like a bride. Hair pinned. Makeup perfect. A woman about to marry the man she loved.
I felt nothing.
Murphy tucked the transmitter into the bouquet's stem wrap. White roses and peonies. It disappeared beneath the ribbon.
"Phone's paired," she said. "Press play when you're ready. That's it."
I picked up the bouquet. The flowers smelled like nothing. Like they'd been cut too early and kept too cold.
Murphy stood behind me. Our eyes met in the mirror.
"Saph."
"I'm okay."
"I know you are. That's what scares him."
She kissed my cheek. Left a lipstick mark she didn't wipe away. Then she picked up the champagne bottle and walked out.
I stood alone in a white dress in a hotel room that cost more per night than most people made in a week.
I looked at myself one last time.
Then I walked out.
***
The Plaza ballroom smelled like lilies and old money. Three hundred guests in seats that cost a thousand dollars to rent. Chandeliers that threw light like diamonds. A string quartet playing something soft and classical that I had never chosen.
I stood in the vestibule with my father's arm looped through mine. He was saying something about how proud he was. How beautiful I looked. How this was the beginning of something wonderful.
I wasn't listening.
The doors opened.
The music changed. Pachelbel. Canon in D. The song every bride walks to when she can't think of anything better.
I took one step forward.
Then I heard it.
Gasps. Low. Spreading like a wave from the front of the room to the back.
I looked up.
Christina stood at the end of the aisle. White dress. Beaded bodice. Lace sleeves. Almost identical to mine. She held no bouquet. She wasn't part of the processional. She had simply walked in and positioned herself three rows from the altar where everyone could see her.
She was smiling.
The whispers started. Heads turned. Someone's aunt clutched her pearls. Mrs. Sullivan's face went white. Then red. Then something harder.
At the altar, Jace froze.
I watched him. Watched the panic flicker across his face. Watched him look at Christina. Then at his mother. Then at me.
He did not ask her to leave.
He did not move toward her.
He did not look at me to check if I was all right.
He simply stood there. Trapped between two women in white dresses. Waiting for someone else to fix it.
I felt something click into place. Final. Clean. Like a lock turning.
I adjusted my grip on the bouquet.
Then I walked.
My father's arm tightened on mine. "Sapphire—"
"I'm fine," I said.
I walked the aisle like I had practiced. Head high. Shoulders back. Eyes forward. The dress moved around me like water. The flowers didn't shake.
I passed Christina without looking at her.
I reached the altar.
Jace's face was pale. His hands were shaking. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something.
I didn't let him.
I turned to face the room.
Three hundred people stared back at me. Silent. Waiting.
I reached into the bouquet.
I pulled out my phone.
I pressed play.