When I Love You the Most, I Leave You

I had been in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend, Archer Blaine, for five years, but he never gave me a commitment.

One day, I saw a photo he posted on his Instagram.

In the picture, he tightly hugged another woman in the snow, and they made a promise to "grow old together."

Instead of getting into an argument, I left a comment: [Looks beautiful. Why didn't you have a kiss?]

——

On Christmas Eve, Archer took his female colleague to see the aurora.

This led to a fight between us over the phone.

He argued, "She and I planned this before Christmas. Since you couldn't accompany me, why wouldn't you let someone else go with me?"

According to him, I was being unreasonable and making him upset during his trip.

As a result, we had not been on speaking terms for half a month.

This was also the first time I hadn't contacted him for such a long time.

During the holiday season, I spent time alone at home with my family. One evening, while having dinner, I received a message from Archer saying: [I'm coming back tomorrow. Can you pick me up?]

I replied with a simple "Okay" and finished my meal.

I understood that this was his way of signaling reconciliation, but I didn't feel the same joy as before; instead, I felt somewhat annoyed.

In the past, I was always the one who initiated apologies and acted kindly towards him.

Whenever he made a nice gesture towards me, I would be overjoyed and willingly apologize.

However, due to his closeness with his female colleague, we had numerous arguments over the years.

Last year, on the day we were supposed to celebrate his birthday, he left me and met up with his ex-girlfriend instead.

It was later revealed that this female colleague of his was actually his ex-girlfriend, Freya Gates.

That night, I waited for him at home until dawn, and when he returned, I questioned him hysterically.

Unfortunately, Archer didn't provide any explanation, simply stating, "I'm tired. Let's talk about it tomorrow."

He always had an air of superiority about him.

Whenever he left me to see Freya, he would buy me gifts to appease me and say, "We are just traveling together; don't overthink it." He would also explain, "We are just traveling together, don't think too much about it."

His softened tone always made it hard for me to stay angry, and thus, I forgave him easily.

However, as time went on, he stopped buying me gifts and no longer bothered to comfort me or explain things.

In front of him, I felt like a clown, acting foolishly every time we argued.

After each quarrel, he resorted to emotional abuse,

Each time, I was the one who gave in and bought him flowers and gifts to please him.

During the years of our relationship, I felt like a simp, completely at his mercy.

This time, when I received his message indicating a desire for reconciliation, I no longer felt the same joy or sense of being cared for.

If this were in the past, I would have eagerly gone to him and made peace immediately.

However, I wouldn't do that now.

Initially, we had planned to get married in our third year together.

The day before he had everything prepared to propose, he went abroad without telling me.

I called him more than 20 times, but he ignored all my calls.

I ended up standing alone on the beach, becoming a laughingstock among onlookers.

Enraged, I decided not to send him a message, and he tacitly refrained from contacting me as well.

On the day he returned home, he sent me the same message, asking me to pick him up.

When he came back, I asked him why he had suddenly gone abroad without discussing it with me.

Archer casually sat on the couch, playing with souvenirs from his travels, and nonchalantly replied, "I was afraid you would be angry if I told you. Besides, I'm not ready for marriage yet. I want to enjoy my freedom while I'm still young."

I understood that he was still young and didn't want to be tied down by marriage.

At the time, I agreed to postpone our marriage.

But now, after five years together, he had never given me any commitment.

As I looked at the table filled with lunch boxes and souvenirs from his travels, I realized the kind of freedom he desired.

I picked up a photo lying in the corner of the table and gently stroked the bright, smiling face of the man in it.

I muttered to myself tenderly with endless affection, "Caesar, he is no longer like you."

Initially, I treated Archer as a substitute for Caesar Hansen, someone I could project my longing for Caesar onto.

However, unexpectedly, I fell in love with Archer later on, becoming more and more obsessed.

Unfortunately, this led us to the current situation where we feel disgusted with each other.

After work, I drove to the airport.

Archer continuously called me, but I ignored every single call.

Annoyed, I screened them and sent him a message saying that I would arrive soon.

When I reached the airport, I didn't see Archer.

I waited in the car for three hours, from seven to nine in the evening, until someone approached me to inform me that they were closing at 9:30.

Although such incidents had occurred frequently before, I still couldn't help feeling disappointed.

I drove back home.

On the way, I noticed that Archer had updated his Instagram.

It was a photo showing a table filled with souvenirs he had brought back, with a caption: [Do worthwhile things with worthwhile people.]

I blocked his Instagram.

Upon opening the door at home, I saw Archer sitting on the sofa, scrolling through his phone.

The items he bought were still lying on the table.

I walked towards the bathroom, catching a glimpse of his complex expression as he looked up at me.

He began to explain, "Eloise, Freya had something to do near our place, and it was on her way, so she took a taxi to come back with me. I forgot to send you a message."

I simply replied, "Alright."

Archer wanted to elaborate further, but I glanced at him without saying a word and proceeded to walk into the bathroom.

He must have been curious why I didn't argue with him like before.

After all, I used to always quarrel with him over trivial matters.

Then I angrily asked him why he didn't tell me and made me wait for so long.

I entered the bathroom with my clothes and turned on the water, letting it pour over my head.

The souvenirs that Archer had bought came to my mind.

I knew those were for couples.

In my memory, Archer had always been very nice to me and would never be like this.

I remembered how busy he used to be with work when we first got together.

I loved traveling, and whenever I found free time, I would go to neighboring cities or even go further away.

Unfortunately, Archer couldn't spare any time to accompany me.

He promised me that he would go with me when he had the chance.

Finally, when he had some vacation time, he informed me that he had to attend a class reunion.

I expressed my frustration, accusing him of being unreliable, but he blamed me, saying, "I haven't seen them in a long time, but you and I can see each other every day. Can't you be understanding?"

So, in the end, the promise we made turned into unreasonable behavior on my part.

After a few more arguments, he finally accompanied me once.

However, at that time, I had some work problems, so we returned after a day.

Surprisingly, that trip sparked Archer's love for traveling.

He even quit his job for this.

I advised him not to give up his career, but he wouldn't listen.

Later, I discovered that during the day I returned early from the trip, he met Freya.

They were college classmates, and Freya fell in love with Archer at first sight due to his determination to quit his job and travel the world.

At first, Archer didn't mention having a girlfriend to Freya.

It wasn't until she sent him a gift that ended up being delivered to our home that I discovered her existence.

Freya even visited our apartment, waiting for Archer with a bouquet of flowers. However, I chased her away.

Archer defended her, stating, "She is my friend. Why are you so mean to her?"

The truth was that Freya falsely accused me of breaking into a house and stealing, which led to my reaction against her.

I demanded that Archer cut ties with Freya, or else we would break up

Archer gazed at me, taking in the sight of tears welling up in my eyes and the evident disappointment written all over me.

But he still didn't mention our relationship to Freya.

Later, I went to his workplace to find him and encountered both of them. Only then did he reluctantly admit our relationship after I brought it up.

After returning home, I had a quarrel with him. He noticed my red eyes due to anger and calmly said, "The carefree life Freya leads is what I want. It's fine if you don't understand me, but why are you making a fuss now?"

As I reminisced about the past, my heart still ached.

I took a shower and walked out, finding Archer at the entrance, talking on the phone while putting on his shoes.

Glancing at the heavy snow, I said, "Close the door when you go out."

He paused, hung up the phone, looked up at me, and replied, "I won't be back tonight."

Taking a bite of the dry and tasteless bread on the table, I responded, "Okay, then stay out longer and have fun."

Although I told him to enjoy himself, my eyes weren't focused on him.

It was snowing heavily. In the past, I would never have let Archer go out so late.

He always refused to listen before, saying that he wouldn't go far and would be back soon.

I offered to give him a ride, but he refused.

Then, he would come back the next day, reeking of alcohol.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Archer's face was pale.

He put on his clothes, grabbed his bag, and slammed the door with a loud bang.

Biting into the bread, I felt speechless.

Why did he have to slam the door?

Moreover, this time, I didn't stop him. I was considerate enough to let him have more fun.

Why was he unhappy?

Archer didn't come back that night.

I lay on the couch and watched TV drama all night.

In the past, I would have sat on the couch and sulked until dawn, and when he returned in the morning, he would feel guilty seeing me sleeping on the couch.

It turned out that he didn't feel that he had done anything wrong, let alone feel guilty.

He would just say that it was my own fault and that it had nothing to do with him if I caught a cold.

But now, reflecting on it, I realized I hadn't been taking care of myself.

I had been so focused on Archer that I neglected my own health.

The sulking had even caused occasional chest pain.

I felt much better now that Archer wasn't at home.

I didn't have to cook for him after busy work.

It felt really good to lie on the couch and watch TV just like him.

How come I didn't notice it before?

After watching a movie, I went back to my room.

I swiped Instagram for a while before feeling sleepy.

By chance, I saw a photo posted by Archer's college roommate, Erik, on Instagram.

I had befriended him back then to ensure Archer wasn't lying to me.

The photo depicted a white snowfield with the words "Grow old together."

I murmured, "It's quite romantic."

Just as I was about to continue scrolling, I unexpectedly saw two figures standing in the corner, hugging each other.

It was Archer and Freya.

I smiled in self-mockery and unblocked Archer on Instagram.

He had updated his Instagram last night.

He didn't block me. I knew he had purposefully shared the photo for me to see.

He just wanted to make me jealous.

But the moment I saw the photo, I felt no emotion.

I even commented: [Looks beautiful. Why didn't you have a kiss?]

Then, I put away the phone and fell into a deep sleep.

Archer came home the next morning.

I was just finishing cooking my breakfast when he pushed the door open and walked in.

Pretending not to see him, I went into the kitchen to wash the dishes.

As soon as I came out, I saw Archer sitting in my seat, ready to eat the oatmeal I had cooked.

I quickly walked forward and moved the oatmeal aside.

He frowned at me and said unhappily, "What are you doing? You almost burned me."

I replied indifferently, "I didn't cook your breakfast. You can eat out today."

With that, I enjoyed my breakfast.

Archer stared at me while I was eating oatmeal, which made my scalp tingle.

In the past, whenever Archer was at home or out, I would always make some time in advance to prepare breakfast or lunch for him.

He became increasingly picky as I spoiled him, and my cooking skills improved.

If I didn't make his breakfast, he probably wouldn't eat out.

I didn't know what Archer's expression was afterwards; I only heard him say, "I'm going to Newcroa with Freya tomorrow for a trip, and I'm not sure when I'll be back."

Finishing my oatmeal, wiping my mouth, and standing up, I said, "Okay."

Then, he brought up what had happened yesterday.

He asked, "What did you mean by that comment yesterday? Freya and I are just friends. Your comment embarrassed me. Besides, she and I are..."

I interrupted him impatiently, "Okay, stop. I believe you."

With that, I took the documents and went to work, hearing the sound of a glass breaking behind me.

Impatiently clicking my tongue, I suddenly realized that Archer had such a bad temper.

I had been so tolerant of him before.

I drove to the office.

As soon as I walked in, I heard the new employee cheer excitedly.

Curious, I asked what happened and learned that she had received her certificate today.

I suddenly felt a little melancholy.

Young people worked so hard, but despite working for so long, I hadn't achieved much.

When I was young, I worked while traveling.

None of my friends supported me, claiming that I was still young and should focus on improving myself and my career.

Only Archer agreed with my idea. He told me, "Life is a wilderness. Don't give up because of a few doubts."

At the time, I listened to him and quit the job I had just started, driving off to travel.

Because of this decision, I even severed ties with those friends.

As a result, I had only managed to get a position as a team leader in the company now.

But I didn't blame him. After all, everything was my own decision.

But later on, his attitude changed so much that I couldn't accept it.

When I sent him photos of the scenery along the way while driving, he replied impatiently: [Can you please stop? It's really annoying to see your message pop up during a meeting.]

At that time, I was driving on the road, and suddenly, I felt that all the scenery had lost its beauty.

Later, I had problems finding a job while traveling. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to get a job in this company.

It wasn't too late.

I sat down at my workstation determinedly, took out a pen and paper, and set a goal for myself.

I must be an outstanding employee at the end of the year and get the opportunity for promotion.

I perused the materials and prepared a project summary, skipping lunch and working diligently until the end of the workday.

After typing the last word into the computer spreadsheet, saving my work, and shutting down the computer, I left the office.

As soon as I got into the car and gripped the steering wheel, Archer's message popped up.

He sent me a location and said: [Come pick me up.]

I clicked on it and saw that it was on my way, so I agreed.

From a distance, I saw Archer and Freya standing arm in arm by the roadside, looking like a couple deeply in love.

The moment I saw them, I felt quite calm.

As they were laughing and feeding each other marshmallows, I startled them by honking my horn.

I couldn't help but laugh when I saw how frightened Archer was.

He approached to argue.

I rolled down the window, revealing that it was me in the driver's seat.

I said to him, "Can you hurry up? I'm hungry and want to go back to eat."

Archer helped Freya put the luggage into the trunk.

Freya came over to greet me, her tone containing a sense of provocation and pride that only I could detect.

She said, "Eloise, Archer's foot was injured on the way. I applied some medicine for him. Remember to apply it regularly."

With that, she handed me the ointment.

I replied, "No, I don't have time. You take care of it."

Archer's face turned blue as he sat in the back seat.

I couldn't help but feel secretly happy. It turned out that retorting her could make me feel so good.

I turned my head and looked out the window, holding back my laughter.

At this time, I saw a familiar figure.

I blinked in disbelief.

Suddenly, that person disappeared.