Too Late to Apologize, My Dear Alpha

Amid my post-abortion checkup, Dane, my mate and also the powerful Alpha of the Silver Moon Pack, once again found a reason to leave. It had become a familiar pattern, one I had grown accustomed to. Initially, his absence stung, as if I had been abandoned, but over time, that sting dulled into a numb acceptance.

Taking my medication after the checkup, my face contorted, tasting its bitter taste scattered in my mouth. It was not the pack's clinic, so the pack members would not have a chance to talk about the situation. Instead, it was a clinic referred to by my mate saying someone vouched for this place.

After that, I returned to the pack house alone, a lingering sense of loneliness trailing me.

Opening my social media account upon my return, I noticed a post where someone tagged Dane.

[Just had a bruise on my cheek, but this one insisted on dragging me to the wolf healer's clinic! He has been accompanying me since. You're still the best!]

I didn't bother confronting Dane about his continued deception. The anger and hurt I might have felt before now seemed like too much effort in a relationship that felt increasingly burdensome.

Later, as I scrolled more, I saw intimate photos of Dane and this one woman, one I was familiar with, at an Alpha banquet. Then again, I wasn't angry.

Was it because things had not been doing well with me and my wolf? My emotions were rather numb than usual. Cassia, my wolf, had been quiet and it was not normal.

And when I unexpectedly encountered my mate with that woman together in the vicinity of the pack, she was holding a child as if they were a family. However, my reaction surprised even me. Calmly, I remarked, "The child needs a father figure. You should spend more time with them, Alpha Dane."

Startled, he grabbed me anxiously and asked, "Celeste, why don't you care at all?"

--

Today marked two months since my abortion surgery, and I had a miscarriage due to an accident on my way home from the pack's clinic where I was working. The impact that my body had was too much, but the amount of blood I lost was rather abnormal.

I was a wolf healer, and I was born with the character to heal others. That, alone, was a reason for my Alpha to agree to hone my skills by working at the pack's clinic.

However, I chose not to undergo surgery in the same clinic. I didn't want my work to get tangled with my personal life.

My Alpha accompanied me to my checkup, and as usual, he made an excuse and left in a hurry afterward. Unlike before, I didn't plead for his company. Watching him walk away, a strange detachment washed over me. His presence or absence no longer dictated my emotions.

As if the weaker Cassia became inside me, the more I could not connect to my emotions anymore.

When he mind linked me while I was deeply thinking, I was a bit startled. "Celeste, go home on your own. I'm quite busy today."

I simply replied, "Alright." In the past, I would have desperately needed him to pick me up. But things had changed. Not just me, but my affection towards him.

On my way home, I noticed my mate's car back at the clinic—contradicting his earlier claim that he could not pick me up. Upon returning to the pack house, I saw another post on Twitter, echoing the same words she had shared in another post. There, in the corner of the image, was Dane's shirt—a gift from me on his birthday. This user was none other than Felicity Valentin, my mate's childhood sweetheart who had returned from another pack after mating with someone there. For years, Felicity stayed in a mysterious town.

In Alpha Dane's eyes, I was merely a substitute for his first love, Felicity. Yet, foolishly in love, I had mated with him. I had even wanted to have his pups, but my miscarriage now seemed like a fateful warning against it.

God, the Moon Goddess must have hated me this much, huh?

After taking the medicinal herbs that were given to me, I drifted off to sleep.

During the night, I was stirred awake by the creak of the door. "What did the healer say today?" Dane asked softly, stroking my head. Caught in the air was a trace of another scent, one that I knew was not his, which I silently acknowledged by avoiding his touch.

"Nothing important," I forced a smile, "Everything's fine."

Dane nodded hurriedly, "There's a lot of meetings lately." Instead of challenging his lie, I rolled over and closed my eyes. "Maybe you should take a shower before bed."

He hesitated for a moment before silently heading to the bathroom, where I heard the water start to flow.

And there, I settled on the bed again, my back against the empty side.

Things have been bugging me these days, not just the miscarriage, and not just my miserable mateship with Dane, but also my weakening connection to my wolf, Cassia.

Her voice... it was becoming faint, and until now, I didn't know why.