"She wasn't with me."

"She was throwing a tantrum before I left, so I just ignored her."

Grandmother paused for a moment.

Then she let out a little gasp. "That girl's been disobedient since the day she was born. You don't think she ran away from home, do you?"

I couldn't remember what Grandmother said after that to turn Dad against me.

All I remembered was the sound.

A deafening boom inside my skull, like something had detonated behind my eyes.

Grandmother had forgotten about me.

Through the haze, I thought I saw Mom's face, twisted and contorted.

Her agonized screams echoed in my ears.

"If you hadn't been born a girl, my life wouldn't be this miserable."

"Why did you have to be born at all? It would've been better if you'd just died!"

Then came Dad, his eyes bloodshot, bringing the belt down on Mom's body, lash after lash.

"Worthless woman. All these years and you can't even give me a son. What good are you?"

"You gave me a money pit, and you think you have the right to talk back?"

And finally, Grandmother at the dinner table, rapping my knuckles with her chopsticks, her face vicious.

"Money pit. You don't lift a finger around here, but you sure know how to eat."

"If I'd known you'd turn out to be a money pit, I would've drowned you in the outhouse the day you were born!"

In the chorus of their curses, something inside me suddenly let go.

The cold began to fade. The pain in my body started to dissolve, piece by piece.

I knew then. I was finally free.

Mom, Dad, Grandmother.

Without me in this family, will you finally be happy?

I was sitting on top of the freezer now, and when I looked down, I could see the small, frozen figure inside.

That was me.

No warmth. No weight. So this was what death felt like.

Grandmother and Dad were chatting about something, laughing easily, as if they didn't have a care in the world.

Then Dad glanced at his watch and shot up from the couch.

"Mom, start cooking. I'm going to pick up Herbert Dickerson and Lisa."

"Alright." Grandmother was already heading for the kitchen. "I'll get the ribs stewing. My grandson needs a good, hearty meal."

I watched her bustling around the kitchen.

From start to finish, she never noticed the padlock on the freezer. She never once opened it.

An hour later.

The front door swung open and my brother came barreling in.

He was wearing a pair of light-up sneakers, running back and forth in front of Grandmother.

"Grandma, look! Aren't my shoes cool?"

"So cool. My handsome grandson looks good in everything." Grandmother gazed at him, her face soft with adoration.

Light-up sneakers. I'd mentioned those to Mom once.

She beat me for it.

"If it weren't for your school subsidies, you think I'd even let you go to school?"

"I gave you a chance to make something of yourself, and instead of studying hard, you learned how to be jealous of what other kids have."

I never brought it up again.

But when my brother mentioned something he wanted, even in passing, they remembered. They always remembered.

Everything Herbert wanted, he got without effort.

Everything I wanted stayed a dream.

Because I was just a bucket of water, destined to be poured out sooner or later.

Herbert was the bloodline of this family. The only heir.

"Lisa, where's Kate? I haven't seen her."

"Her? Probably still off somewhere sulking. She hasn't come back!"

Slap!

Mom's palm cracked against the table so hard it shook.

"That girl is out of control!"

"How old is she now, still throwing tantrums?"

Grandmother set the rib soup on the table and looked at Herbert, her eyes warm and doting.

"If that money pit's really gone, good riddance."

"She's nothing like our Herbert here. So well-behaved, so sensible!"

Dad let out a sigh, his gaze sharp and cold.

"That girl's run off somewhere wild."

"If she comes back tonight, I'll break her legs!"

Dad, I'm never coming back to this house again.

Before dinner, Herbert spotted something on his phone—a circus performing at the town square at eight o'clock. He pointed at the screen, at a lion leaping through a ring of fire, his face lit up with excitement.

"Mom, I wanna go!"

"Sure!"

Mom barely glanced at the screen before agreeing.

During dinner, Herbert happened to look across the table.

That was my seat. It sat empty.

"Mom, where's Kate?"

At the mention of me, Mom placed a peeled shrimp into Herbert's bowl and shot an impatient glance at my empty chair.

"Her? Who knows where she's wandered off to."

"Our little Herbert is the good one—obedient, well-behaved, never makes Mom and Dad worry."

My heart clenched.

So ghosts could feel pain after all.

It finally hit me.

They never loved me. Even now that I was dead, they couldn't think of a single good thing about me.

Herbert shoveled rice into his mouth, pausing every few bites to wheedle and charm Mom and Dad. Laughter rose from the table, easy and warm, the three of them together.

I watched their happy little family and understood: without me was when they were happiest.

After dinner, Grandma cleared the table, wiped the water from her hands, and turned to head back to her room.

Herbert grabbed her hand. "Grandma, I want you to come with us."

Grandma's eyes glistened. She stroked Herbert's head.

"Be good. You all go have fun. Grandma will stay home."

Herbert looked at Mom with a pout. "Mom, if Grandma doesn't go, I'm not going either."

Mom and Dad couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine, we'll all go."

From start to finish, everyone was perfectly in sync.

No one mentioned me. No one suggested going out to look for me.

Why isn't Kate home yet?

What if something happened to her?

Nobody asked. As if I had never been part of this family at all.

They opened the door, and I followed them into the car.

I sat beside Herbert, watching Grandma play and joke with him the whole ride.

When they arrived, the square was already packed. Food stalls lined both sides, the air thick with grease and sugar. Herbert jumped out of the car and made a beeline for the takoyaki stand.

Mom watched him run off. No scolding crossed her face—only indulgence.

I remembered the year I turned eight. Mom had taken Herbert and me to a lantern festival. I asked for a candy apple, and she snapped at me.

"All you ever think about is eating. Didn't we just have dinner at home?"

"Already hungry again? Look at your brother—see how well-behaved he is."

Herbert stuck his tongue out at me, then bolted toward a trampoline across the way.

"Mom, I wanna play on that!"

Mom's expression transformed in an instant. "Okay, sweetheart. Mommy's coming."

After that, I never asked my parents for anything again.

Because I knew. In their eyes, there was only Herbert.

The circus music started, and Herbert was the first to push his way to the front.

The show began.

Monkeys riding bicycles. Lions leaping through rings of fire. Sea lions balancing balls on their noses. One act after another, each more dazzling than the last. The crowd erupted in applause.

Then, right at the peak of the performance, a woman came tearing through the crowd like she'd lost her mind.

She grabbed at every person she passed.

"Have you seen my daughter? She's wearing a white princess dress. She was right here waiting for me just a minute ago."

One by one, people shook their heads. No one had seen her.

The woman's face crumpled with guilt. She slapped herself, again and again.

"This is my fault. This is all my fault."

"I shouldn't have gone to the bathroom and left my daughter out there alone. This is all my fault."

The woman slapped herself across the face, leaving an angry red handprint on her cheek.

Everyone's hearts clenched at the sight.

Someone in the crowd spoke up, telling the woman to call the police right away—if a trafficker had taken her daughter, every second counted.

The woman choked back her sobs, wiped her tears with shaking hands, and pushed her way out of the crowd.

I watched her disappear into the night. That was when I noticed my little brother had been staring at her the whole time.

"Mom, Kate's been gone a really long time. What if she got lost?"

Mom blinked, caught off guard. Then her expression softened into something tender—but it wasn't for me.

"She's fine."

"Your sister's a big girl. How could she possibly get lost?"

"She's probably off somewhere throwing a tantrum."

Dad handed the toy in his hand to my brother.

"Your sister's too stubborn for her own good. Once she cools down, she'll come home."

They were completely certain I was just being difficult. Not that I was missing. Not that something had happened.

Just then, sirens wailed in the distance.

Word spread fast—the police had pulled the security footage and found that the frantic woman's daughter had been led away by an unfamiliar man.

Officers sealed off the area. Panic rippled through the crowd.

The show stopped. People began filing toward the exits.

The police started questioning everyone, one by one.

When Mom heard what had happened, she scooped up my brother and hurried toward the exit.

They barely made it to the gate before an officer stopped them.

After a round of questioning, they finally got into the car. Dad was quiet for a moment, then spoke.

"Let's go home first and check if Kate's back."

"With everything going on out here, I just hope nothing's happened to her."

His words put an immediate sour look on Grandma's face.

"You're always so dramatic. She's not a little kid anymore—what could possibly happen to her?"

"There are security guards in the neighborhood. You think some kidnapper is going to waltz into a gated community?"

Grandma launched into a tirade, rattling off all her grievances about me.

But Grandma—Mom and Dad didn't know where I was. You should have known.

You were the one who said you'd let me out of the freezer when you got back from your card game.

But you forgot about me. And then you lied to Mom and Dad, told them I'd run away from home.

A flicker of impatience crossed Dad's face.

"Mom, no matter what Kate's done, she's still my daughter."

"I know she can be stubborn, and I know you don't like her, but she does more than her share of chores around this house."

"Besides, it's been over eight hours since I got home. If she's not there when we get back, I'm calling the police."

Seeing that Dad was serious, Mom let out a cold scoff.

"Go ahead. Keep spoiling her."

"She turned out this way because of you."

I watched Mom clutch my brother tighter, seething in silence.

I didn't understand her. Dad didn't like me any more than she did.

Today, all he'd done was worry that something might have happened to me—said two sentences on my behalf—and she acted like he'd betrayed her.

When they got home, the doorway was empty. They assumed I'd already come back.

Dad went straight to my room. He looked at the tangled sheets on my bed and frowned.

"She's not in here. Did either of you find her?"

Mom had collapsed onto the couch. Grandma emerged from the side bedroom. Both shook their heads.

Then came a knock at the door.

Mom shot to her feet, grabbed the broom from beside the entrance, and raised it like she was ready to swing.

"You little brat, I swear you—"

"What on earth are you all doing this late at night?"

Stella Chavez, our neighbor from next door, cut Mom off mid-sentence.

Mom forced an awkward smile, but before she could get a word out, Stella's gaze dropped to the broom in her hand.

"What are you doing with that broom?"

Mom sighed. "That girl's been gone all day. I thought she'd finally come home, so I was going to teach her a lesson."