3: 3

3

Early the next morning, I was on my way out to work.

Daniela suddenly knocked on my bedroom door.

"Sis, let me use that most expensive bottle of perfume of yours!"

Her voice came through the doorway, full of righteous entitlement.

It wasn't as if she had no perfume of her own. She had a whole cabinet's worth, while I owned only this one bottle.

I didn't agree.

"Why not use your own?"

She smiled.

"I want it to spray on my shoes. Mine all cost a fortune, it'd be a waste, throwing good things away."

So she'd decided to use mine instead.

But my one bottle wasn't cheap either.

I'd been so careful with it, hating to waste a spray, and yet the very first day I brought it home she'd knocked over more than half of it by accident.

I'd been so heartsick I couldn't sleep all night.

And now here she was, demanding to borrow it as if it were her right.

"Can't lend it to you."

I refused without hesitation, and Daniela ran off crying, her eyes red.

Not long after, someone kicked my door open.

Irvin walked in, his face full of anger.

"It's just borrowing your perfume for a bit. Why be so stingy?"

"Your sister thinks of you whenever she gets anything good."

"How is it that you're the only one this selfish?"

Irvin had a good temper. Even when we argued, he had never lost it at me like this.

But now, it was as if I'd done something unforgivable.

"Irvin, get it straight, who exactly is your girlfriend?"

"I have one bottle of perfume. When someone wants to borrow it, am I supposed to hold it up and hand it over on my knees?"

"I'll ask you one last time. Are you lending it or not?"

Irvin's face was cold, with no room to negotiate.

"No."

"Fine!" Irvin let out an angry laugh, then suddenly pulled out his phone. "It's just a bottle of perfume. What's the big deal?"

Right there, he photographed it, ran an image search, and ordered Daniela ten bottles of the same brand in different scents.

Daniela froze for a moment, then it hit her and she jumped up, thrilled.

"Irvin, I must have saved the universe in a past life, you're so good to me!"

"Ten bottles of perfume, I couldn't spray my shoes with it in a whole lifetime!"

And I just stood there watching Irvin, digging my nails into my palm until it hurt.

That bottle of perfume was the birthday gift Irvin had given me three years ago.

Every time, I used it so carefully, terrified of wasting it.

And now Irvin was using it to get back at me, hard.

I said nothing. Lips pressed tight, I picked up my bag and turned to leave, and in doing so I accidentally knocked off the glass doll Daniela had set on the sofa.

It shattered into pieces.

Daniela's scream followed at once.

"Ah! Hilda, what are you doing? Even if you don't want to let me use your perfume, you can't take revenge on me like this!"

Daniela cried until her eyes went red.

"This glass doll was bought overseas, a limited edition, more expensive than your perfume!"

I was at a loss. "I didn't do it on purpose..."

"Hilda!"

Irvin's face darkened. "I really never noticed before that you could be this vindictive!"

"You're the one who broke Daniela's doll, so you're the one who pays her back for it!"

Irvin ordered me to take a part-time job in my free time after work and earn back the money for the glass doll.

All at once I remembered how it used to be.

Every time, I was the one doing the chores and cooking, while my sister lay around binge-watching her shows.

The moment I complained even once,

Irvin was sure to snap at me.

"Your sister is so thin, anyone can see she isn't eating or sleeping well, that she's always being put upon. As her older sister, shouldn't you feel a little more for her?"

"Instead of standing here jealous, you'd do better to go help your sister with something."

He was always finding all kinds of part-time jobs for me, and then turning around to take my sister to the movies.

To Disneyland.

They made so many memories together that even the wall in my living room was covered with photos of the two of them.

In every one of those photos, I was the only one missing.

Maybe I should have been used to it all along.

Over the next few days, I went to work, came home, ate, and slept, the same as always.

Irvin was still busy, sending me a message now and then, and I replied in a few words.

He seemed to sense something, but not fully.

He just thought I was still sulking over the gift.

So on Friday night he left work early on purpose, saying he'd take me out for sushi.

"Daniela says a friend recommended a place that just opened, the food's supposed to be amazing. Let's go try it."

He talked as he drove.

I sat in the passenger seat, staring at the streetlights streaming past the window, not answering.

"What's wrong? Don't feel like sushi? Then we'll go somewhere else, what do you want?"

I turned to look at him. "You're taking me out to eat. Why bring up which place Daniela says is good?"

The question caught him off guard, and then he laughed.

"I just said it offhand. When did you start taking everything to heart?"

"Is that so."

I looked away. "Sushi's fine, then."

There was still a message sitting in my phone, one the company had just sent.

"Hilda, for this transfer to Australia, you're the only young woman going, so make sure you're prepared. A car will come pick you up for the airport tomorrow."

Five minutes ago, I'd looked down and replied with one word. "Okay."

After all, I was leaving tomorrow.

This was the last meal. I'd just treat it as a proper goodbye.

4: 4

4

The sushi place really was nice.

Elegant setting, delicate food.

Irvin ordered a whole table of dishes and fussed over me, putting food on my plate and refilling my tea, playing the part of the flawless boyfriend.

If it had been the me from two weeks ago sitting across from him, I'd probably have been beaming by now, completely won over.

But the salmon sashimi I was eating tasted like nothing at all.

Halfway through the meal, Irvin's phone rang.

He glanced at the screen, his expression shifting in some subtle way, and then hit decline.

"Who was that?"

"No one. Telemarketer."

The words were barely out when the phone rang again.

He declined it. It rang again.

On the third time, I finally caught the caller ID on the screen: "Daniela."

There'd been a time when this stung me, when I'd resented it. I was her own sister, right there, and yet she never came to me when she needed help.

It was always Irvin.

I couldn't be bothered to get angry over it anymore. I just said, flat and even,

"Answer it. She might actually need something."

Irvin hesitated, then took the call.

On the other end, Daniela's voice came through bright and urgent.

"Irvin, where are you? My car broke down, I'm stuck here at the mall and can't get anywhere. Can you come get me?"

"Which mall are you at?"

Irvin's tone tightened instantly. "Don't worry, I'm on my way."

He hung up and looked at me, a little awkward. "Hilda, it's dark out now, Daniela's car broke down, and it isn't safe for a girl alone…"

"Go." I picked up my teacup and took a sip. "I'll just grab a cab home."

"Will you be okay on your own? Or you could wait here for me. I'll come back for you once I've picked up Daniela…"

"No need."

I cut him off. "She's waiting at the mall by herself. Don't make her wait too long."

Irvin looked at me for a couple of seconds, like he was gauging whether I was really not upset.

I gave him a little smile, and his face eased at once.

"Hilda, I always knew you were sensible. I knew you'd understand."

"I'll come back for you once I'm done."

He stood, grabbed his coat, hurriedly told me to text him when I got home, and left.

I sat alone in the empty private room.

In front of me was a table of food barely touched.

A server came over to ask if I wanted it boxed up. I shook my head, paid the bill, and walked out of the restaurant by myself.

It was the last farewell dinner anyway.

If Irvin wouldn't treasure it, why should I bother.

The night wind outside was cold, a faint sting against my face.

I stood at the curb flagging a cab when my phone buzzed again.

It was a post from Daniela.

In the photo she stood at the entrance of the mall, Irvin's car parked beside her.

The caption read: "There's always someone who shows up right when you need them. So lucky."

Just then a cab pulled up, and I turned my phone off and got in.

Back home, my mom was making chicken soup.

I chose my words carefully.

"Mom, I have an overseas posting starting tomorrow. I might not be back for a while."

Her hands froze over the pot.

"How long will you be gone?"

"Hard to say."

The porridge bubbled in the pot, the kitchen thick with steam, and I couldn't make out my mom's face.

I only heard her go quiet for a long moment before she spoke. "What about Irvin? Is he going with you?"

"He has his own job. He can't go."

"Are you two…"

She weighed her words. "Did you two have a fight?"

"No."

I bent my head over the vegetables, snapping a green bean between my fingers.

"Mom, I just want to get out and see something new, change my surroundings. I'm twenty-six this year. I want to go out and make something of myself."

My mom didn't press. She knew me too well.

Ever since I was little I'd been the type to keep everything bottled up and say nothing. Once I'd made a decision, nothing she said would change it.

She only let out a long sigh. "Then take good care of yourself."

My eyes went hot, and I turned my head away, pretending to watch the sparrows out the window.

Early the next morning, over breakfast, Daniela was chattering away, delighted.

"Mom! Irvin says he's taking me to that new amusement park today. I won't be home for lunch!"

My mom said nothing. She lifted her head and looked at me, her eyes complicated.

I smiled. "That's nice. While you're off work, you should go have fun."

My mom started to say something, then held it back.

Soon Irvin drove up to pick her up.

Daniela had changed into a cute princess-style dress and climbed into the passenger seat.

Once, I would have made an issue of it.

The passenger seat was mine, and only mine. Why did Daniela slide into it like she'd always belonged there?

But I didn't have the energy to make an issue of anything anymore.

Once their car was out of sight, I picked up my suitcase and left without looking back.

It wasn't until Irvin had finished making the rounds of the amusement park with Daniela that it suddenly struck him: I hadn't answered his messages in two days.

The last one was the line he'd sent after leaving the sushi place the night before.

"Hilda, are you home yet?"

No reply.

And that morning he'd messaged me, "Are you free after work tonight? Want to go see a movie together?"

Still, nothing but silence.

After work Irvin went and waited downstairs at my company until it got dark, and never caught sight of me.

He went back to my place to look for me and found no trace of me either.

Only then did it hit him that something was wrong. His face went a little pale, and he ran upstairs and knocked on Daniela's door.

"Daniela, where's your sister?"