The Tapes She Left Behind

I broke up with my boyfriend the year he was at his poorest.

A year later, he was famous, and he married a prettier, livelier girl than me.

On a late-night show, a host asked him whether a grand slam of awards this early in his career left any regrets.

He pulled Mia closer.

"I want to know how she's been. Since she left me."

The host paused.

"She's been... not well at all."

Adrian finally smiled.

"Then I can stop thinking about her."

"But Ms. Whitman left behind a box of tapes before she died."

Adrian's smile locked into place.

On the tapes were every day and every night of my life, from the day I walked away from him to the day I stopped breathing.

"Before she died?"

Adrian Cole's hand, which was resting on Mia Sloane's waist, paused.

Then, he let out a disdainful scoff. "Is this some kind of staged effect for your show?"

The host shook his head.

On the giant screen behind them, my smiling face appeared.

"Hello everyone, I'm Claire Whitman. Today, I went through a breakup~"

"Huh? You're asking if I'm sad about dumping an incredibly promising, handsome, and sweet boyfriend?"

In the video, the girl—whose head was completely shaven—was picking out a wig for herself.

Hearing the question, she looked at the camera and smiled.

"I'm not sad. What would be truly sad is if he saw me looking like this, haha~"

"Hey? Why are you shaking? The footage is getting all blurry."

I reached out and steadied the trembling hands of my best friend, Paige Henderson.

Paigey choked out, "I don't want to film this... I'm going to cry to death. I don't want to film anymore..."

"No can do. You promised me you'd record every single day before I die."

Paigey's voice was thick with tears. "Can't I back out?"

"Nope!"

I pouted. "The perfect curtain call for this lady cannot be entrusted to anyone else."

Seeing that she was still crying, I grabbed the hem of her shirt and tugged gently. "Oh, my sweet Paigey, you're all I have left in this world~"

Her sobbing became a bit louder. "I know, I know. I'll film it, okay?"

…

[Goodbye, World, 2023.4.17, 9:34 AM — Take What's Yours]

After many years, I finally returned to my childhood home in the countryside.

Paigey walked behind me, holding the phone to record, while I led Biscuit, our big yellow dog, down the dirt path between the fields. A light chuckle came from the ridge.

"I was wondering why Adrian Cole just updated his Instagram Story with a song. Turns out it's because you took Biscuit away!"

I turned my head. "What song? I blocked him right after the breakup."

"Take What's Yours."

Paigey and I exchanged a look, suddenly caught between laughter and tears.

"Take all that you want,

I'll bear what is left.

Just leave our dog behind,

Don't ask if it makes sense…"

Paigey laughed until tears streamed down her face. "He didn't want anything else, just the dog. And you didn't want anything either, except you took the dog! Hahaha!"

Our laughter echoed toward the horizon.

Gradually, it mingled with the sound of weeping.

…

[Goodbye, World, 2023.4.17, 10:08 AM — Do little dogs know when you're leaving too?]

The old wooden door creaked open, and I waved away the cobwebs.

"I'm telling you, ever since Adrian and I went to Beijing for college, we rarely came home."

"After my parents passed away, Adrian and I took Biscuit with us. This is the first time I've brought him back."

The camera angle flipped. Now I was the one holding it.

"Hello, hello! Claire Whitman is taking you on an immersive journey of cleaning the old house!"

Paigey, wearing an apron and holding a broom, frowned. "I'm the one doing all the cleaning! My lady!"

"I'm a sick patient~ Cut me some slack~"

After a burst of laughter, I walked out of the kitchen, my face covered in soot and ash.

Paigey's face darkened as she snatched the spatula from me. "I told you not to cook! I said don't cook! Do you have no idea how bad your skills are? Go out and sit down!"

I laughed and coughed simultaneously as I took a seat.

The moment Paigey went back into the kitchen, the smile vanished from my face. I propped the phone against the table and began gasping heavily for air.

With trembling hands, I took a few breaths from a portable oxygen canister before finally managing a smile at the camera.

"Sorry about that. My breathing has been acting up more and more lately… Cough, cough! But seriously, I'm actually a great cook. Really."