I gave Dante Valenti eight years of my life. When I got pregnant by accident, he called off our wedding the night before the ceremony.

I rushed to the hotel and found the venue I had spent months decorating transformed into a baptism reception for his illegitimate son.

Liliana Moretti wore the reception dress I had chosen. The old Don put a gold chain on her baby and acknowledged him as the heir. Dante had already registered his marriage to her.

That day, I made three decisions.

I terminated the pregnancy. I booked a one-way ticket out of the country. I swore I would never look back.

Months later, he showed up at my door on his knees with a ring. I burned my 800-thousand-dollar wedding gown right in front of him.

In the end, he tried to atone with his own death.

At four in the morning, I woke up like usual and dialed my makeup artist's number.

She sounded confused. "The Valenti family called last night. They said the wedding's off. You didn't know?"

I bolted out of the bedroom. Dante Valenti stood in a custom tailored suit, heading for the door with his parents.

His father, Enzo Valenti, was the old Don's Sottocapo in Nooklyn. He had over 30 Capos under him and controlled every gray market operation across New Yis's boroughs.

His mother, Carmela Costa, wore thick gold chains around her neck year-round.

"Where are you going? Why didn't anyone tell me the wedding was canceled?"

Carmela walked over with a fake smile plastered on her face. "Serena, you got pregnant out of nowhere. Calling off the wedding is for your own good. People in our circle talk. If you walked down the aisle with a belly, where would that leave the Valenti name?"

Then the door shut.

I stood alone in the empty living room. My wedding dress hung on the bedroom rack, white tulle pooling on the floor.

My phone buzzed. Carmela had posted a new video on Instagram.

I recognized the woman in it. Liliana Moretti. Dante's junior from college.

The year she graduated, he got down on one knee in front of a church and proposed to her. The whole campus talked about it for months.

Then Liliana left for Gilan, and the engagement fell apart.

If she had not left, Dante and I never would have happened.

In the video, Liliana wore the burgundy reception dress I had picked out. Carmela beamed as she stuffed thick cash envelopes into Liliana's hands.

Dante pulled Liliana into his arms in front of a room full of people and kissed her.

My hands started shaking. I shut off my phone, ran out the door, and sprinted toward the hotel.

The hotel belonged to the Valenti family. The first floor housed an Emalian restaurant that ran legitimate business. The second floor had a banquet hall for all kinds of "respectable" private gatherings. Weddings, funerals and celebrations for closed deals.

Today, it was a baptism reception.

The banquet hall was packed. Guests raised their glasses to Dante and Carmela.

"Congratulations! A boy on the first try. How fortunate."

"Dante's wife is gorgeous. She and Dante look perfect together."

Liliana wore my reception dress. The wedding I had waited eight years for had become her son's baptism reception.

An old man with silver hair stepped forward. He was the Don of the Valenti family, Dante's grandfather.

He pulled a gold chain from the inner pocket of his suit jacket and placed it around the baby's neck himself.

In a mafia family, when the Don placed a gold chain on a child with his own hands, it meant he acknowledged the bloodline. He acknowledged the heir.

Liliana wore the Valenti family heirloom gold jewelry around her neck. According to tradition, only a daughter-in-law officially married into the family had the right to wear it.

I looked down at the thin chain around my own neck. It was only a single small gold bead.

Dante bought it eight years ago. He said he would get me a bigger one later.

I suddenly felt ridiculous. My feelings. My devotion. My sincerity.

All of it was a joke.

I yanked the chain off and tossed it into the trash bin by the door.

I hid in the hallway and listened through the half-open door. Carmela's voice drifted out.

"It's so embarrassing that Serena got pregnant before marriage. We can't let some cheap gold digger marry into this family."

She lowered her voice, but the contempt came through loud and clear.

"Her father grows lemons for a living, and yet she had the nerve to ask us for a million and a half dollars as a dowry."

I thought Dante would say something to defend me. Instead, he nodded and rested his hand on Liliana's waist.

"You're right, Mamma."

I covered my mouth. Then my nails dug into my palms, but I did not make a sound.

If my child was destined to become an illegitimate bastard like me, unwanted and unloved, I had no right to bring him into this world to suffer.

I called a car and went to a hospital in Midtown.

After eight years, I thought I would marry into the Valenti family with my head held high. I thought the humiliation I endured and the bitterness I swallowed would be worth it someday.

It was all wishful thinking.

I booked a flight to Lalermo leaving in seven days.

I was not getting married, and I sure as hell was not keeping this baby.

The abortion procedure was over quickly. It was less than half an hour from start to finish.

The baby was only a month along and had not formed yet.

I had listed Dante's number as the emergency contact on the prenatal registration form. The hospital notification text already went through.

Several voice messages popped up in a row.

"What was that text message about? You made up some fake story to trick me?

"I get that you're upset about the wedding being called off, but you don't need to make up lies to get back at me."

The rest were all accusations. He said I was immature, unreasonable, and inconsiderate of the Valenti family's situation.

Over the years, I learned the rules. I learned to cook. I learned how to smile graciously at family gatherings.

Enzo liked espresso, so I ground the beans every morning at six.

Carmela could not remember to take her medications. I kept track for her. During holidays, I cooked for a dozen people by myself because she did not like the help's cooking.

No matter how much I did, it was expected. Even one mistake was an unforgivable sin.

After that, I dragged myself home. Dante sat on the couch with a glass of whiskey. The ice had melted halfway.

"What was that baptism reception about? You canceled my wedding just like that?"

He saw my swollen eyes and hesitated. Then his tone softened. "You found out? Just calm down, and let me explain. The hotel banquet couldn't be refunded. The drinks, the food, and the staff were all arranged. Instead of wasting everything, we turned it into a baptism reception."

He sighed.

"That child is mine, but Liliana and I have no feelings for each other. Last year she asked me to get her pregnant, then she went back to Gilan. She came back to New Yis last week. That was when I found out she brought the baby with her."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. His palm covered my stomach.

"You're the woman I want. The only one who can stand beside me is you."

My stomach churned. I shoved him away and lurched toward the trash can to dry heave.

He pulled out a box of lime candy and handed it to me.

"Is it morning sickness? You said you wanted the ones from that place on Arturo Avenue. I went out of my way to buy them today. Open your mouth."

The sweet and sour candy sat in my mouth, but it could not cover the bitterness.

That night I lay with my eyes closed, unable to sleep. Dante thought I was asleep and walked to his parents' bedroom.

I stood barefoot outside their door and listened.

"Liliana was alone in Gilan when she was pregnant and gave birth. I want to bring her to live at home."

Carmela's voice was loud.

"Of course. Liliana's a hundred times more sensible than Serena. Before that girl even married into this family, she demanded a million and a half dollars. Her father spent his whole life growing lemons in Sicania, and he died a nobody who doesn't even count as an Associate."

Enzo cut in. "When the boy turns one, buy Liliana an apartment in Bay Cove. She worked hard to give our family an heir."

A memory from two years ago surfaced.

My parents followed the old Sicanian tradition and asked the Valenti family for a dowry of a million and a half dollars, not a cent more or less. It was a sign of respect for their daughter and proof of sincerity between two families forming an alliance.

Enzo made his position clear. "We'll give you 500 thousand, and not a dollar more. We're doing your daughter a favor by agreeing to marry her."

The wedding date got pushed back again and again after that.

Papa had a bad heart, and Mamma stayed with him in New Yis while he saw doctors. They could not adjust to the climate, so they could not sleep at night.

Their greatest wish was to see me in a wedding dress before they died.

They never got to.

The night Papa died, New Yis was drowning in a rainstorm.

I walked out of the hospital and could not get a cab. Dante did not come. He was busy with "family business."

Mamma passed away three months later. Her last words were, "Serena, go back to Sicania. That is your real home."

Before I left, I needed to visit my parents' graves one last time.

I bought two bouquets of white roses and a bottle of the Grappa that Papa loved.

When I pushed open the bedroom door, the fruit basket I had prepared was knocked over on the floor.

I had shipped blood oranges, figs, and candied lemons from Sicania. Every single item was something my parents loved when they were alive.

All of it had been half eaten and tossed everywhere.

Liliana sat on my bed clapping for her child. "Eat more, cara. It's free fruit anyway."

I rushed over and shoved her aside. "Those were for my parents! What gives you the right to touch them?"

Dante burst into the room. He only saw Liliana stumble back a step.

He slapped me hard enough to knock me to the floor.

"You're going to fight over a few pieces of fruit? It was bad enough when you threw a fit over the dowry, but now you're being cheap about fruit too?"

Liliana immediately covered her face and started crying. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Dante, did I cause trouble?"

Dante wiped her tears gently. "No. You can eat whatever you want in this house. If you want good fruit, I'll fly you to Sicania sometime."

My lower abdomen throbbed with pain. My palms and tailbone were bruised from hitting the floor.

The worst part was the blood orange smashed on the ground.

Half a month ago, I had someone from Catano ship them over. Every winter when my parents were alive, this was what they looked forward to most.

You could not buy this variety in New Yis. It only grew in the soil at the foot of Mount Eterno.

After they came to New Yis, they never went back to Sicania. They never tasted that flavor again before they died.

I stumbled out the door. Liliana's voice followed me.

"Dante, what if Serena leaves you because of me? Maybe I should just take the baby back to Gilan."

"Don't worry. She's in her 30s and got knocked up before marriage. Who else would want her if she left me?"

After that, Dante and I stopped speaking entirely.

He threw my pillow and blanket into the living room. He said it was inconvenient for Liliana to sleep outside with the baby.

The photo wall I had put up in the bedroom, pictures from every place we visited over eight years, was replaced with photos of Liliana and her child.

Three days later, Dante seemed to think I had calmed down. He drove me to a bridal shop on Mull Street.

"See if there's anything you like."

He handed me an old album. All the styles were from years ago. The sample gowns had yellowed edges.

I was about to say I wanted to try the one in the window when his phone rang.

He stepped aside and lowered his voice, but I heard him. "The funds are still short? Fine. I'll cover it."

He hung up and looked at me.

I pressed my lips together and pointed to the cheapest dress in the album. He glanced at the price tag and nodded without hesitation.

"Fine. This one. Let's get the wedding photos done quickly before you start showing."