I was a child who was born in a vocational school's toilet. To my mom, I was a stain in her life that she was given birth to after having her cherry popped by a delinquent when she was still young.

I knew that Mom had been trying to kill me. Unfortunately, she hadn't succeeded so far.

The first time she tried to get rid of me was when she decided to give birth to me in the toilet. It was a cold, winter month, yet she didn't give me anything warm to wear.

The second time she attempted murder was when she got into grad school, which was based in the north. No one was around to take care of me, so she turned on the gas while holding me in her arms and clutching her train ticket.

The third and last time happened when Mom was about to marry the man she loved.

On the night before her wedding, she had tears streaming down her cheeks as she told me, "You're nothing but a burden. You ruined my life!

"Do you know that I can only forget about all the pain and suffering you caused me after you die? Only then can I start a brand new chapter in my life!"

I wiped Mom's tears off her face with my tiny hand.

So, her wish was for me to die.

On my birthday, my fever hit 104 degrees Fahrenheit. That was when I finally received the first slice of birthday cake in my entire life.

I didn't have the heart to eat it, so I made my wish solemnly.

"I hope that I will die soon."

I heard that birthday wishes often came true. That way, Mom would be very happy.

Mom rubbed her temples and offhandedly asked what I'd wished for.

"I wished for you to be happy, Mom," I said.

It wasn't exactly a lie. As long as I died, that wish would come true.

However, that one sentence made Mom lose it. She smashed the cake in my face and screamed, "I worked so hard to land this project presentation, and you just had to spike a fever right now!"

The commotion drew the other patients in the ward over.

"The kid's still sick. How can you treat him like that? Is this how a mother should act?"

I struggled to wipe the cream out of my eyes. "I'm sorry…"

I must've been really out of it from the fever. I forgot I wasn't supposed to call her Mom. I was supposed to call her Serena.

In the next second, a small figure threw himself into Mom's arms. "She's my mom, not his!"

It was my half-brother, Ashton Brown.

The people around us looked at each other. Their expressions turned awkward.

My stepfather, Logan Brown, walked over and said gently, "Calm down. Don't get yourself all worked up. It's not worth making yourself fall sick over this."

Mom hugged the two of them. Only then did the color slowly return to her face. Once she'd calmed down, the anger in her eyes faded back into the usual indifference when she looked at me.

"We're going home once you're done with this IV bag."

The nurse who came in felt my forehead, clearly disapproving. "His fever hasn't gone down yet. It'd be better if he stayed overnight for observation."

I quickly shook my head. "I-I feel fine now."

My body was still burning, and my head was heavy and foggy.

On the way home, Mom didn't look at me even once. The moment we stepped through the door, she shut herself in the bedroom. I could faintly hear her muffled sobs from inside.

Logan sighed and went to the kitchen to heat up a glass of milk.

I hurried to tuck in my arms and legs and pressed myself against the wall, trying to take up less space.

After thinking for a long time, I quietly picked up a small rag and slipped into the study. I took down the picture frame next to the computer and carefully wiped it clean, being as gentle as I could.

In the photo, Mom was still young. She smiled brightly as she cuddled up against my grandparents.

Suddenly, something slammed hard into my waist. My body was already weak, and my fingers loosened. The frame slipped from my hands and crashed to the floor.

Ashton clapped his hands and burst into delighted giggles. His face was full of glee at my misfortune.

"Mommy, Mommy! Hurry! The deadweight broke your picture!"

I crouched down in a panic, desperately trying to gather the broken pieces and fit them back together.

A shadow fell over my head. The next second, a heavy slap landed on the back of my skull. I instinctively threw my hands out to catch myself because I was so weak. My palms pressed straight into the shards of glass.

"Are you deliberately trying to piss me off today, Zero?"

I opened my mouth, wanting to say that Ashton had bumped into me. But I shut it again almost immediately.

The truth didn't matter. At some point, I'd suddenly understood that Ashton would never be at fault. But for me, even breathing was a sin.

"I just… wanted to help you clean up the dust and trash…" I just wanted Mom to be a little happier.

She let out a cold laugh. "Even a single scrap of paper in this house is more useful than you. You'd better remember who the real trash in this family is, Zero Camden."

Tears dripped onto the back of my hand. I hurried to wipe them away because those were worthless, too. Mom hated them.

"All you do is cry. What, do you feel bad for yourself? I'm the one you've ruined!

"If you hadn't started bawling your head off in the restroom when you were born, my classmates wouldn't have heard you and told the teacher… My parents wouldn't have gotten so worked up that they dropped dead of heart attacks!"

For a long time, I blamed myself, too. Why did I have to cry when I was born? Why did I have to get Grandma and Grandpa killed?

When my deskmate at school found out, he'd called me a big idiot. "All babies cry when they're born. If they don't cry, they die!"

That just made the fact that I'd cried all the more worse. Dying would've been so much better.

After my birthday, the house went back to being quiet.

Every day I went to and from school, and Mom still treated me like I was invisible. She wouldn't spare me an extra glance, nor would she say another word.

I kept my head down like always, only able to see her feet rushing past me.

That night, everything was the same as usual. I waited until the three of them had finished dinner, tucked Ashton into bed, and gone back to their room to rest. Only then did I quietly feel my way into the dark kitchen.

The sharp edge of hunger had already passed. I was long used to eating cold leftovers slowly by the moonlight.

I remembered one time when I really couldn't hold it in and needed to go to the bathroom. However, the second I stepped out, the laughter and chatter at the table had stopped. The silence in the air had been so heavy that it was terrifying. Only after I'd rushed back to my room did their voices gradually start up again.

After that, I got even better at being invisible.

Suddenly, a voice came from the kitchen doorway, startling me. I jumped so hard I almost dropped my plate.

"Do you have enough lunch money?"

I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. "Y-Yeah!"

I turned and saw Mom standing a few steps away. In the dark, her brows were furrowed slightly, and her expression was hard to read.

After a few seconds, she averted her gaze and let out a cold little grunt. "Come and ask me for more if it's not enough."

In the quiet, I thought I heard the softest sigh. Maybe I imagined it.

That night, I actually had a good dream for once. In it, Mom gently kissed me on the cheek. A wave of uneasiness washed over me.

"Serena?"

She suddenly laughed. "You're supposed to call me Mom, silly."

When I woke up, I still went to school and came home alone like always.

…

On this day, the moment I stepped into our apartment complex, I saw Ashton playing around with a few other kids. He climbed to the very top of the playground.

A second later, he slipped and started to fall from up high.

I dropped my backpack and scrambled up after him, grabbing his hand with everything I had. He burst into terrified sobs, screaming and kicking wildly, stomping hard on my fingers as he scrambled to the top of the slide.

And I went straight down.

When Mom and Logan rushed over, the first thing they did was grab Ashton and hug him tightly, frantically comforting him.

Then, Ashton pointed straight at me. "He tricked me into going up there! He wanted me to fall and die!"

The little boys who'd dragged him up to play were already long gone, scared out of their minds.

Mom screamed and lunged at me, slapping me over and over like she'd lost her mind. She ignored everyone who tried to pull her back. "You menace! Did I murder your whole family in my past life or something? Is that why you won't be satisfied until you destroy mine?"

Logan's expression was dark. "Zero, if your sister wasn't so soft-hearted, you would've been dumped in an orphanage a long time ago! We've kept a roof over your head and fed you all these years. We haven't done you wrong, have we? Is this how you repay us?"

For a split second, a flicker of diffidence flashed through Mom's furious eyes. She always said I was the ball and chain my grandparents had at an old age because they were obsessed with having a son. Logan had no idea that just like Ashton, I was Mom's biological child.

My face swelled up fast, and the taste of blood spread through my mouth. My head spun, and I couldn't get a word out.

"Stop hitting him!" someone shouted.

They said they'd seen what had happened—a few little boys had been playing with Ashton. When he slipped, I was the one who'd thrown myself forward to grab him.

Mom's hand froze in midair. Through the thin slits of my swollen eyes, I just about managed to make out the awkward look on her face.

"I think he might be really hurt from the fall. You should hurry up and take him to the hospital to get checked."

Someone else muttered, "Please. As if throwing a kid some food so he doesn't starve to death makes them saints. Look at him—so skinny he's all skin and bones. Meanwhile, the other one is nice and chubby."

Mom's expression hardened. She lifted her chin stubbornly and grabbed the arm I'd landed on when I fell. "Get up. Now!"

A searing, bone-deep pain shot through my arm. I couldn't help frowning and groaning in pain.

"Do you have to act like you're half-dead so that the whole world will think I'm abusing you?" she screamed.

Someone clearly couldn't take it anymore and said, "That's not what we meant. That slide is what, 12 feet high? In the worst-case scenario, he really could've died!"

However, Mom's voice was colder than snow seeping through my shoes in winter. "Hmph. He's not dying that easily. Bad weeds grow tall!"

Yeah. Why wasn't I dead yet?

I forced myself to my feet and staggered after their retreating backs. My temple felt wet. Was it raining?

I dazedly lifted a hand and wiped at it, only to find my fingers smeared with blood.

Then, amid screams, the world spun as I pitched straight to the ground.

When I woke up again, I was lying in a hospital bed. A wave of disappointment washed over me. Why was I still alive? How long would it take for my birthday wish to finally come true?

The door opened. Logan walked in. He sat on the edge of the bed in silence for a while before handing me a piece of paper.

I squinted, trying to make out the words on it. It was a dormitory application form.

"I talked it over with your sister. You're in elementary school now. It's time you learn to live on your own. This is better for you, and for our whole family," he said.

I nodded dumbly. "Thank you."

Logan froze. It looked like there was a lot he wanted to say, but in the end, it all melted into a single sigh.

After I was discharged from the hospital, I packed my things and moved into the school dorm. I didn't see Mom at all during those days.

I thought we wouldn't see each other for a very, very long time. But a month later, she suddenly barged into the school and dragged me into her car. We sped all the way to the cemetery.

I curled up in the backseat, trying to make my breathing as light and quiet as possible.

Mom was furious. It was as if her whole body was wrapped in anger and darkness. I had no idea what had happened.

By the time we got to my grandparents' graves, it had started pouring.

Mom held up a big black umbrella. I didn't dare move closer under it. My thin school uniform was soaked through in no time.

"Get on your knees!" she snapped.

I did exactly as I was told. However, after that command, there was nothing behind me but silence. I didn't dare look back.

I didn't know how long I stayed like that, but it was long enough that my vision blurred and I was on the verge of passing out.

Then, through the roar of the rain, I heard faint sobbing. Mom's crying was low and strangled, like the pain was ripping her apart from the inside.

She let the umbrella fall and collapsed to her knees beside me. She crawled toward the tombstone. She traced my grandparents' names again and again with her fingers.

"Mom, Dad… I know I messed up. How long are the gods going to keep punishing me for this? He showed up again… I just wanted to start over. Why is that so hard?"

From the words she forced out between broken sobs, I slowly pieced everything together. The delinquent who had tricked Mom back then had shown up again.

She had gotten pregnant too young and had given birth in a dorm bathroom. That had turned her into the biggest joke in her entire school and that small town.

When Grandpa got the news, he'd had a heart attack on the spot and couldn't be saved. Grandma hadn't been able to handle the blow and had followed him soon after.

And now, the man who had destroyed the first half of Mom's life was haunting her again like a ghost that wouldn't leave. The first thing out of his mouth was that he wanted 500 thousand dollars for his gambling debts.

"Zero Camden is my kid, isn't he? I heard you didn't tell the truth and lied to your husband that he's your little brother. What do you think your husband will do if I tell him everything? Think he'll still stay married to you?"

The rain slowly stopped, but the tears wouldn't. I wanted so badly to hug Mom, but I was afraid it would only make her sadder and angrier.

After that, she drove me back to school. She didn't hit me again, nor did she yell at me. When I looked at her through the car window, her eyes were completely empty.

My heart felt just as full of holes.

…

Yet another weekend, I walked off campus to buy some bread for dinner. A man with bleached blond hair sauntered over and whistled at me. My features looked about 50% like his.

"Hey there, big boy! I'm your dad, and I'm here to take you to the amusement park!"

His tone was frivolous, and all that came out of his mouth were lies. He was nothing like Logan, who was gentle and well-mannered.

It was only natural that Mom hated him. And it also made sense that she hated me.

Of course, the man didn't actually take me to an amusement park. He dragged me off to an abandoned factory instead. Then, he made a video call. Mom's exhausted, anxious face appeared on the screen.

Her eyes slowly widened the moment she saw me.

"It's been a whole week, you wretch. You're still stalling, saying you can't get the money together!" The man waved the knife in his hand, the blade flashing as he kept gesturing it inches from my face.

He continued, "Believe me—I'll chop off one of his fingers and mail it to your husband's office every day. Let's see how long you can drag this out!"

Mom's voice shook. "Don't you dare, you jerk!"

However, inside, I suddenly felt relieved. It looked like my birthday wish was finally going to come true. Starting today, Mom could finally be happy.

I looked into the phone's camera and gave her a tiny smile. The next second, I lifted my chin and slammed my neck down hard against the knife's edge.

Blood sprayed. I heard the man cursing in a panic. I also heard Mom's terrified, broken screams.