On graduation night, I gave my first time to Leonardo.

The pain was real, but so was my joy, believing my devotion had finally been seen.

But I never imagined that at the bonfire party the next day, I would hear his teammates joking with him.

That night after graduation, Leonardo took everything from me.

"Nice work, man, you finally sealed the deal with your little shadow."

And Leonardo, who had been so gentle the night before, replied with a lazy drawl.

"Jessica is the real prize. I’m just getting in some practice with Kira, don't want to fumble in front of the queen."

I said nothing, just turned and walked away.

Then, before the final deadline, I changed my college choice from Seattle to Los Angeles.

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1

Leonardo's words hit me like a physical blow, knocking the air from my lungs.

My thoughts shattered into a million pieces.

The bonfire party and summer night were warm, but a deep chill spread through my veins.

The chatter from the party continued. His friends paused for a beat, then laughed.

"Classic Leo, even Kira is just a warm-up for him."

"So, does that make her, like, the designated training partner for the team captain?"

Leonardo just laughed it off. "Don't be dramatic. It's not like she didn't get what she wanted."

Someone else chimed in quickly.

"True, Kira’s been following him around forever. Compared to Jessica, her... everything is..."

Leonardo irritably threw a beer can at him, cutting him off.

"It was a one-time thing. The moment was right, and she was more than willing..."

The others exchanged knowing smirks and teased him. "Who knew the quiet girl was so eager."

"Man, that's the Leo effect. Can't blame him for taking what's offered on a platter."

"Kira's been obsessed with Leo for years. Guess she finally got her dream. Probably wanted to pounce on him for ages."

The laughter around the fire grew louder, more pointed.

I bit down on my lip, my nails digging into my palms.

It took every ounce of my strength not to collapse right there on the lawn.

Footsteps crunched on the gravel behind me.

I snapped out of my stupor and fled into the night.

In a daze, I found a deserted corner of the campus.

Tears of humiliation and hurt streamed down my face.

Leonardo’s voice echoed in my mind, dismantling every piece of my self-worth.

If I hadn't heard it with my own ears, I would never believe this was the boy who held me so close just hours ago.

So, you could share that kind of intimacy without a shred of love.

Even in the most heated, mindless moments, you could still be telling lies.

What I thought was the start of our story was just a punchline to everyone else.

The more I cried, the more hollow I felt.

But I couldn't make a sound. My body trembled uncontrollably.

After what felt like an eternity, my phone buzzed.

It was a text from Leonardo.

[Grab an Uber home. Party's going all night, can't give you a ride.]

I didn't reply.

He sent another.

[Don't forget to take the pills. I’m swamped. Take care of it, be good.]

I stared at the two messages for a long time, speechless.

Last night, from dusk until dawn, Leonardo had worn me out completely.

Before we fell asleep, he had whispered, "I wasn't prepared for our first time. I’ll make sure you're okay tomorrow."

He even lectured me about girls needing to protect themselves, that taking the pills was crucial to avoid long-term harm.

Back then, I thought he was so responsible. I thought I had finally found my forever.

But now...

In a flash, I was brutally sober.

I pinched the back of my hand, hard, forcing the tears to stop.

I wiped my face, pulled myself together, and left the campus grounds.

Too ashamed to go to a local pharmacy, I found a clinic on the other side of town.

After the appointment was over, I waited in the parking lot for a long time before I dared to drive away.

After dealing with the aftermath with shaking hands, I felt my strength drain away. I sat numbly on my bedroom floor, staring into space.

Ever since Leonardo’s family moved in next door ten years ago, I had orbited his life like a loyal moon.

I never considered a world that didn't revolve around him.

I didn't dare.

But from now on, I had to walk alone.

Outside my window, the city lights flickered on, then slowly went dark.

I don't know how long I sat there before my best friend Sophie sent me a link.

"Kira, why aren't you at the bonfire party with Leo?

"Jessica, the cheer captain, is here instead. She's been all over him since you left.

The two of them are making me sick."

Sophie attached a link to Jessica's Instagram Story.

In the flickering light of the bonfire, Leonardo and Jessica sat close together.

Jessica wore a cropped cheer sweater and leggings, her athletic frame on full display.

The two were a world away from the rest of the laughing crowd.

Even their whispers seemed charged with secret meaning.

The romantic energy was palpable, even through the tiny screen.

My heart seized in my chest.

Leonardo had declared his intentions that afternoon. It looked like he'd already won his prize.

Someone dared Jessica to get a piggyback ride from a guy of her choice for a full minute.

As expected, Leonardo immediately stood up.

The crowd roared with whoops and hollers.

Jessica’s cheeks flushed as she dutifully climbed onto his back.

Leonardo braced himself, easily holding her for the full minute.

He was a perfect gentleman the whole time, his hands carefully placed.

Until the very end, when their friends started chanting a familiar song.

He faltered, letting Jessica slide down his front until they were face-to-face.

The noise from the crowd was deafening.

Leonardo and Jessica's faces were bright red.

Amid the wild cheering, Leonardo leaned down and sang the last line of what was once our song, right to her.

Then he kissed her.

They were lost in each other, oblivious to the world.

It lasted for an eternity before they finally broke apart.

During those long seconds, I watched without blinking, so shocked I almost forgot how to breathe.

My heart felt like it was being torn to shreds.

I wanted to cry, but I had cried myself empty earlier and was too dehydrated to produce another tear.

"Damn, Kira, you see that? That wasn't just a kiss. He's completely gone for her."

Sophie’s voice came through on a follow-up voice note.

She must have found a quieter spot to record it. "Kira, don't hate me for this. If I didn't show you, you'd never let him go."

My throat was dry, my voice a scratch.

"Yeah. I don't blame you."

I only blame myself for being a fool for so many years.

I thought because he always let me be by his side, that place belonged to me forever.

"I just can't stand Leo. How could he string you along for years, knowing how you felt, playing innocent while you fell harder and harder.

"Now you see the truth. I really hope you’ll change your mind. Don't let him ruin your four years of college too..."

"I won't, Sophie."

I cut her off, my voice steady.

"I'm not giving him another chance.

"Sophie, I'm decided. I'm going to UCLA with you.

"But you have to promise me, keep it a secret for now."

After I said it, to make sure I couldn't back out, I opened my laptop right then.

Without a second of hesitation, just before the deadline closed, I changed my first-choice school to the one in Los Angeles.

Sophie was, of course, overjoyed.

She had been trying to get me to apply there for months.

But when we started high school, Leonardo and I made a pact to work hard and go to his dream school in Seattle.

That's where the best aerospace engineering program was.

So even though I hated the cold and had no interest in an engineering school, I made it my goal for three years.

After being neighbors for a decade, both our parents were happy for us to go to college together.

Everyone, myself included, thought Leonardo and I would be a couple the moment we were adults.

But now, I had no reason to go to Seattle anymore.

Or rather, after today, if I still clung to Leonardo like before, I would hate myself for it.

Now I just wanted to run far away. It didn't matter where, as long as he wasn't there.

If he was going north, I would go south.

Before bed, I filled the tub, wanting to wash the entire night away.

But when I took off my clothes, the marks on my skin were still there.

Memories of the night before came flooding back without my permission.

The heat of his skin pressed against mine, his hot breath in my ear, the warmth that seemed to linger around me still.

I shook my head violently, trying to banish the thoughts.

I found the roughest washcloth I owned and scrubbed my skin over and over, not stopping until I was raw and red.

A clumsy attempt to erase the most humiliating memory of my life.

As a result, I was so sore I couldn't sleep properly all night.

Leonardo, true to form, sent no more texts.

It broke a seven-year streak, from the day we got our first phones, of never failing to say goodnight.

This was for the best.

It had to end sometime.

Might as well start the detox tonight.

I drifted in and out of a restless sleep.

The next morning, while I was still out, I felt a soft kiss on my forehead in my dream.

I jolted awake.

But when I opened my eyes, I saw a familiar jawline.

The scent was Leonardo's signature cedarwood, mixed with a faint, unfamiliar trace of citrus.

I'd almost forgotten Leonardo still had the key to my apartment.

Seeing I was awake, Leonardo just leaned down, a smirk on his face as he tried to kiss me.

I jerked my head away, dodging him.

I pushed him off and scrambled to the other side of the bed.

Leonardo looked confused for a second, then chuckled. "What, suddenly shy? Hmm?"

I didn't speak, just pulled the comforter over my head.

Leonardo scolded me as he tried to pull it off.

"Kira, you're getting bold, huh? Didn't even say goodnight last night, and you dared to turn your phone off.

"Now you're hiding from me?"

He expertly slid under the covers with me.

Before I could protest, he had me wrapped in his arms.

"Come on, how many times have I told you not to skip breakfast.

"I jogged for thirty minutes to get you that croissant you love. The line was insane.

"Do you want to get up and eat it, or do you want to...

be eaten first..."

His breath was hot on my neck, and his hands started to roam.

Now fully awake, I struggled with all my might.

But at my height, I was no match for a six-foot-three quarterback.

I truly couldn't understand what he was thinking. He had Jessica now, so why was he still messing with me?

After a long fight, I was out of breath.

I hadn't escaped; I was just held even tighter.

"What are you making a fuss about now?

"Are you mad? Because I didn't take you to the bonfire party last night? Such a small thing?"

I was silent.

He buried his face in my neck, laughing.

"Let me guess, your bestie Sophie told you?

"It was just a dare, is that worth being jealous over?

"Why are you still like this, getting upset every time I talk to another girl."

I was too angry to speak, not knowing where to even start.

Remembering a self-defense move from a school assembly, I shot my knee up into his groin, then scrambled out of bed while he was stunned.

"Kira!"

Leonardo gritted his teeth, his face turning red.

I quickly threw on a T-shirt over my pajamas and ran to the living room.

I didn't want to be in the same space as him, especially not my bedroom.

A moment later, Leonardo followed me out, looking both angry and exasperated.

After a moment, he seemed to remember something and asked casually, "By the way, you take the pills yesterday, right?"

"Don't cause any trouble. We can't explain that to our parents."

Leonardo walked to the kitchen counter and picked up the croissant he brought, holding it out to me.

"Be good, eat something before you get mad. You know your stomach gets upset easily."

I didn't answer or take it.

Leonardo's hand was left hanging in the air for a long time before his patience finally snapped.

"What is your problem?

"Kira, even if you're throwing a fit, there has to be a reason, a limit, right?"

I replied coldly, "I'm not good enough for you."

Leonardo got angry too, slamming the croissant down on the table.

He used too much force. The plate split, and the fragments spilled all over my favorite T-shirt lying on the chair.

"What did you say?

"Who do you think you are, Kira?

"We hooked up one time, and now you think you can control me? Don't you know how suffocating that is?"

His tone was sharper than I'd ever heard.

Instantly, tears streamed down my face without warning.

All the humiliation and pain from the day before came rushing back.

Leonardo seemed shocked by my sudden outburst, not knowing what to do.

He apologized, looking regretful. "I'm sorry, I was hungover. I didn't mean what I just said."

Leonardo crouched beside me, reaching out to wipe my tears, but I flinched away again.

He froze, his hand stuck in mid-air.

Just as he was about to say more, his phone rang.

He glanced at the screen, and his expression changed. He immediately stood up to leave.

"I have to go, something important came up. You cool down on your own first.

"We're going to college now. You can't act like a child all the time. Who's going to put up with that?"

Less than an hour after he left, Sophie sent me a screenshot.

It was Jessica's Instagram post.

[Jessica: Just said I was hungry, and my favorite croissant magically appeared! Feeling like my crush and I are getting closer--] The photo showed a paper bag from the exact same bakery.

I didn't reply.

I just silently wiped my tears and tried to clear away the plate Leonardo had smashed.

I realized with a heavy heart that the shards tore the T-shirt.

In a fit of rage, I threw the T-shirt out.

It was the one he had won at a football game and given to me years ago anyway.

While I was at it, I gathered every single thing Leonardo had ever left at my place, and all the gifts, big and small, he'd ever given me.

I even collected all our photos.

It took me the whole day to pack it all up and throw it in the dumpster.

I figured he wouldn't want these old things anymore either.

After Leonardo left that day, I didn't hear from him for several days.

I guess things were going well with the school's beauty queen.

Or maybe he was waiting for me to be the first to give in.

In the past, after every fight, I was always the one to apologize first, without fail.

But this time, I didn't contact him.

There was no need to anymore.

I blocked his number and all his social media, changed my apartment's key, and deactivated my accounts.

After doing all that, I called my parents, who were away on business.

I told them I wanted to go on a road trip to clear my head for the summer.

My plan was to spend the summer driving, then head straight to LA to start college with Sophie.

Besides Sophie, no one knew I had applied to a school in Los Angeles.

This plan should guarantee I wouldn't run into Leonardo.

Mom still teased me on the phone, "Oh, are you and Leo going on a trip together?"

I made an excuse and denied it, not wanting to explain.

I just said I wanted some time to myself.

I begged Dad to book me a flight for that very night. I planned to fly to my starting point immediately.

As I was leaving, I ran into Leonardo's mom by the elevator.

She greeted me warmly. "Kira, honey, why are you leaving alone? Isn't Leonardo picking you up?

"Didn't he say he was taking you to Europe for the summer? You two have fun, Auntie is so happy for you."

I was a little confused.

During our SAT cramming, I had told Leonardo I wanted to travel to Europe.

But with how things were now, how could we possibly go on a trip together?

I was running late, though, so I just gave a vague answer and left.

But what I never expected was to actually see Leonardo at the airport.