"How can a grown she-wolf still be afraid of a little bitterness? Be good, Elara. You've always wanted a pup. Shouldn't you take your tonic properly so the pregnancy stays strong?"

"Here. Let me mix it with some honeyed moonberries for you."

Five years of mating. He knew me better than anyone. He knew the moment he mentioned a pup, every wall I had crumbled.

But Fenris, were you truly this heartless? You knew how desperately I wanted to carry a pup, yet you destroyed every hope I had with your own hands, just to clear the way for yours and Seraphina's child.

He didn't need to go through all this trouble. All he had to do was bring Seraphina before me, and I would have stepped aside on my own.

No tears came. My eyes were so dry they burned. I went numb, opened my mouth, and let him spoon the tonic in, swallow after swallow, until every last drop was gone.

That night, the wolfsbane took hold.

I writhed on the mating den's furs, my body arching against waves of agony that rolled through me like a tide dragging something precious out to sea. My inner wolf howled, a sound so raw and broken it didn't feel like it belonged to me. She clawed at the walls of my consciousness, frantic, trying to protect what she already knew was slipping away. I could feel it, the tiny spark of life inside me dimming, guttering like a candle flame in a storm. Each pulse of pain carried something irreplaceable with it, and the warmth that had lived beneath my navel for weeks drained away until all that remained was a dark stain of blood spreading across the sheets.

My wolf collapsed inside me. She curled into herself, whimpering, smaller than I had ever felt her. Something between us fractured, not completely, but enough. A hairline crack in the bond between woman and wolf, born of a grief too primal for either of us to bear alone.

My heart went cold along with it.

"The Luna's constitution was already fragile. After two lost pups, I'm afraid she may never conceive again."

As the pack healer delivered his verdict, Fenris clutched my hand, his eyes bloodshot, crying harder than I was. His scent, cedarwood and iron and winter smoke, was thick with anguish, so convincing it would have broken anyone who didn't know the truth. His wolf rumbled low in his chest, a sound of mourning that vibrated through our clasped fingers.

A man who couldn't stand the slightest mess. He washed my body himself. The blood-soaked furs that even the pack attendants recoiled from, he cleaned with his own hands, wringing the dark water into the basin without flinching.

"Elara... the pup..." His voice cracked. "If you really want a pup that badly, give it some time. I'll have someone bring one home from outside the pack. We'll raise it as our own."

Such a devoted mate. If I hadn't seen what I saw with my own eyes, I might never have doubted him.

He finished speaking and gently brushed the sweat-dampened hair from my forehead, leaning down to press his lips there. His breath was warm. His touch was tender. I turned my face away.

"I'm tired. Let's just sleep."

I was afraid that if I didn't stop myself, I'd scream every accusation building inside me. My wolf stirred weakly, baring her teeth at the shadow of him in my mind, but she was too broken to do more than snarl. I squeezed my eyes shut against the pain.

He froze for a moment, but quickly recovered. He tucked the furs around me with care, gathered my ice-cold hands and feet into his arms to warm them, and held me like that through the night, never once letting go, even in sleep. His Alpha warmth seeped into my bones whether I wanted it or not.

I watched his face in the moonlight and felt like I was looking at a stranger. The silver glow carved shadows beneath his cheekbones, made him look almost beautiful, almost innocent. Every tender thing he'd ever done for me played through my mind, one memory after another. The way he'd carried me across the threshold of the Ashvane Stronghold the night of our Mating Ceremony. The way he'd pressed his forehead to mine after marking me, whispering that I was his, only his, forever. The way he'd wrapped his body around mine during my first heat as his Luna, shielding me from the world.

All that devotion, deep as the ocean. Every bit of it had been a lie.

The next morning, I gathered the pup clothes and small carved toys I'd prepared so long ago and fed them into the brazier, piece by piece.

Those tiny moonthread-woven blankets. I'd stayed up all night stitching them the moment I found out I was carrying, weaving protective blessings into every thread under the light of a waxing moon, pouring my wolf's warmth into the fabric so my pup would feel held even before it was born. And the little wooden wolf I'd carved myself, its surface worn smooth from how many times I'd held it, imagining tiny fingers closing around it. I watched the flames lick over each one, swallowing them whole, and the pain in my chest was so sharp I could barely breathe. My wolf keened, low and endless, pressing herself against my ribs as if she could somehow save what the fire was taking.

By the time Fenris returned from the High Pack Council session, only cold ash remained in the brazier.

He let out a heavy sigh and pulled me into his arms. His scent wrapped around me, and I hated how my body still leaned into it, how my wolf still recognized him even through her grief.

"Elara, don't grieve so much. I've heard the Moon Priestesses at the Silverveil Sanctuary are immensely powerful. I've already arranged for one of them to perform a moonlight rite for the pup's spirit, to guide it safely to the Moon Goddess."

I followed him to the wolf-drawn carriage like a sleepwalker. The world outside was muted, colors drained to grey, sounds arriving as if through deep water. When we arrived at the sanctuary gates, ancient stone arches draped in silver moss, he was helping me down when a pack warrior suddenly approached.

"Alpha Ashvane, someone is here asking to see you."

Fenris's brow creased with irritation. "What is it? I told you, today is for Elara. No one is to disturb us."

Before he could finish, the visitor charged forward on her own and dropped to her knees before him. His pupils blew wide. The rest of his words lodged in his throat.

I expected him to erupt in fury. His Alpha aura should have flared, should have sent any intruder staggering back with the force of his displeasure. Instead, he stepped in front of me, blocking my line of sight, his expression strained. The air around him didn't thicken with authority. It thinned with guilt.

"Elara, I just remembered. The Alpha King did assign me something urgent. Go on ahead and find the High Priestess. I'll take care of this and join you shortly."

I stared straight into his eyes and caught the flicker of panic there. His wolf was pacing behind those dark irises, restless, cornered.

In the instant he turned away, I'd already glimpsed the figure kneeling on the ground. She wore an oversized man's cloak, but that slender waist, that pale, soft skin, and beneath the heavy wool, a scent I would never forget, jasmine and something cloyingly sweet. Who else could it be but Seraphina, the Omega he'd been keeping hidden beyond pack territory?

But I simply said what I always said, gentle and yielding as I had been trained to be. "If the Alpha King requires your presence, you should go. Don't worry about returning on my account."

The tension bled from his face the instant those words left my lips. He turned, hauled the woman up from the ground, and strode away without so much as a glance back over his shoulder. Which meant he never saw the grief that pooled in my eyes like standing water, dark and still.

Fenris had never once abandoned me for Council duties before. He used to stay up through the deepest hours of the night, drafting territorial reports by the glow of a single flame, just so he wouldn't miss a single moment with me during the day.

He always said our time together was precious. Yet now he cast me aside for another woman without a second thought.

Their retreating figures blurred behind my tears. I made some excuse to dismiss the pack attendants, then followed in secret, keeping downwind so my scent wouldn't carry.

He dragged her into a narrow, deserted passage between the outer dens before finally stopping. His voice was a snarl, low and animal.

"Have you lost your mind? I told you, show your face in front of Elara, and I will kill you."

His fingers closed around Seraphina's throat. As his grip tightened, angry red marks bloomed across her pale skin, and the faintest scent of fear, sharp and acrid like crushed nettle, rolled off her in waves.

Seraphina let out a frightened sob.

"My Alpha... I didn't mean to. I dreamed last night that something happened to the pup. I was so worried I just had to see you."

The savagery on Fenris's face froze. Slowly, his hand loosened. Something soft flickered behind his eyes, a gentleness I had once believed was reserved only for me, and his voice dropped to a murmur.

"It was only a dream. Don't take it to heart."

Seeing his expression thaw, Seraphina grew bold. She burrowed into his chest, pressing her nose against the hollow of his throat where his scent was strongest, and her voice became a wheedling purr.

"But I was so scared. Just spend the day with me. Please?"

He peeled her off immediately, his tone turning cold.

"I promised Elara I'd go to the Moon Altar with her. She just lost the pup. She's at her most fragile right now. I have to be by her side."

Seraphina refused to give up. She loosened the top clasp of her dress and pressed her lips against his throat, breathing warm against the pulse point where an Alpha's bond mark would sit.

"My Alpha, you've always said you wanted to try it in the open air. There's no one here. Why don't we..."

Before she could finish, Fenris's expression shifted entirely. He yanked his cloak around her and pressed her down beneath him against the cold stone wall, urgent and ravenous, a growl rumbling from deep in his chest.

"You shameless little thing. You always know exactly how to bait me."

Watching the way he moved, I could barely recognize him. This was nothing like the tender, restrained Alpha I knew in our mating den. There was a wildness in him, something feral and unguarded, that he had never once shown me.

I crouched behind the wall, punishing myself with every muffled sound the two of them made. My wolf whimpered deep inside my chest, curling into herself as if she could make herself small enough to disappear. My legs went numb. All feeling drained from them entirely. Only then did the passage fall quiet.

Moments later, Fenris emerged with his cloak draped carefully over Seraphina's shoulders, carrying her in his arms. His scent, cedarwood and iron, was tangled now with hers, a sickly-sweet honeysuckle that clung to him like a stain. The smell hit me like a blow to the sternum, and I pressed my hand over my mouth to keep from retching.

I followed at a distance. He had changed his clothes and masked his scent with crushed juniper, the way rogues did when they wanted to pass unnoticed. Hand in hand with Seraphina, he walked into the Moon Goddess Shrine at the edge of the territory like an ordinary mated pair, asking the shrine keeper to bless their unborn pup.

And the moonstone charm he placed in the shrine keeper's hands was the very one I had watched him carve night after night, hunched over his worktable until dawn, his fingers stained with silver dust.

Back then, seeing the tenderness on his face as he worked, I had been overjoyed. I believed he loved our pup as fiercely as I did. But today, I finally saw what was engraved on the back of that charm.

A single rune. Seraphina's mark.

I stumbled back to the Ashvane Stronghold in a daze, my mind consumed by that moonstone charm.

From the moment he learned I was carrying, Fenris had never seemed truly happy. While I was giddy weaving tiny moonthread blankets and carving little wooden wolves for the nursery, he only ever watched with a distant, muted expression. His wolf never once pressed against mine in shared joy the way bonded Alphas were supposed to when their mate carried a pup. I had told myself he was simply reserved. That he showed love differently.

But that charm, the one he had stayed up all night crafting, had convinced me he loved our pup. It was the proof I clung to like a drowning wolf clings to driftwood.

I could have gone on lying to myself. I was good at it. Five years of practice had made me an expert. But what I had just witnessed shattered the dream beyond repair, and no amount of willful blindness could piece it back together.

He had never wanted our pup. Every ounce of his devotion belonged to Seraphina. He had even murdered our own flesh and blood, our tiny, half-formed pup who had never drawn breath, so that someday Seraphina's offspring could rightfully inherit his Alpha title and the Ashvane bloodline.

My wolf howled inside me. Not the kind of howl that carried across moonlit hills, but the silent, broken kind that rattled through the bones and found no release. I felt her clawing at the walls of my chest, desperate and grief-mad, and for a terrible moment I thought she might fracture entirely.

I stared at the treasures filling our den. Rare moonthread silks, jeweled boxes inlaid with moonstone, priceless relics from allied packs, all painstakingly collected and lavished upon me as though fine things could substitute for a faithful heart. Every last one of them felt like a knife between my ribs, and the bitterness had nowhere to go.

I was about to hurl every piece against the wall and shatter them all, to let the sound of breaking things drown out the sound of my own breaking, when the door opened. A pack attendant stepped inside and placed a moonstone pendant in my hand.

"Luna, there's someone at the gate requesting an audience with you. She brought this."

I looked down at the attendant's outstretched palm. There lay the Moonstone Pendant I had dropped during my frantic departure near the Moon Goddess Sanctuary.

The visitor was Seraphina Thornwick.

She walked in with one hand resting on the swell of her belly, her face radiant with a poisoned sweetness, and settled herself into the chair beside me as though the seat had always been hers.

"You saw everything in that alley, didn't you?"

I said nothing. She carried on without waiting, tasting each word like something delicious.

"The first time Fenris and I were together was the night of the Winter Solstice Howl, two years ago. After all this time, he still can't keep his hands off me."

My hand jerked. The cup of moonberry tea on the table toppled, dark liquid spreading across the wood like a bruise.

The Winter Solstice Howl. Two years ago. The night I lost my first pup.

I had been awake until dawn, writhing in agony as my body expelled the life inside me. And he had been with her.

My inner wolf let out a low, fractured whimper, curling in on herself somewhere deep in my chest.

My stricken expression only fed Seraphina's delight.

"After you'd fall asleep, he'd pin me down all over this stronghold. Once, we were right beside your mating den." She tilted her head, her eyes bright with malice. "You've never seen the way he looks when he loses control like that, have you? When his wolf takes over completely?"

"Everyone says Fenris loves you, but honestly? I think you're the most pitiful she-wolf alive. You don't even know, do you? He promised that only my pup would inherit his Alpha title. That's why he slipped wolfsbane into your food. He even doubled the dose, enough to make sure your womb would never quicken again."

"If he truly loved you, would he do that? You have no idea how anxious he is about the pup in my belly. He coaxes me to drink my healing tonics every single day, sits beside me and watches until I finish every drop."

Every word ripped open a wound that had never healed, tearing through scar tissue I hadn't known was so thin. My wolf howled inside me, a raw, ragged sound that rattled against the walls of my ribs. I couldn't listen to another syllable. My fists clenched so tight my nails bit into my palms, and I felt the faint, involuntary prick of claws threatening to break through.

"What exactly do you want?"

She picked up the Moonstone Pendant and tossed it on the floor, then ground it under her heel. The sacred stone cracked. A faint shimmer of light bled out and died.

"You're nothing but a toy he's already tired of. Why should my pup call you 'Luna'? Fenris has already promised to complete the Mating Ceremony with me in five days. With the way he dotes on me, you'll be cast aside sooner or later. If you want to save yourself the humiliation, surrender your Luna title now."

I sank against the back of my chair, all the strength drained from my body like water through cracked stone. A bitter laugh escaped me, hollow and foreign.

"Fine. It's yours."

And Fenris Ashvane along with it. You can have him too.

After Seraphina left, the sky split open. Rain came down in sheets, hammering the earth until the scent of wet stone and bruised pine filled every breath. I stood in it, numb, staring at nothing, letting the downpour soak through my moonthread robes until the fabric clung to my skin like a second pelt. My wolf had gone silent. Not sleeping. Just silent, the way a wounded animal goes still when it has nothing left.

I don't know how long I stood there before Fenris came running with a cloak held over his head. I slowly lifted my gaze to meet his.

His eyes were full of guilt and anguish. The scent of cedarwood and iron rolled off him in thick, agitated waves as he pulled me tight against his chest. His heart hammered against my cheek.

"Elara, I'm sorry. I broke my promise. Punish me however you want, but why do this to yourself? You know it tears me apart a hundred times worse to see you hurting."

He ordered an attendant to hold the cloak over me, then dropped to his knees in the rain. The gravel bit into his legs. Water streamed down his face, plastering his dark hair to his forehead, and still he lowered his gaze in submission, baring the side of his throat to me in a gesture I had never seen him offer anyone.

"If you're angry, I'll kneel here until you're not."

Within minutes he was as soaked as I was. His face went white. His lips turned a bruised shade of blue. But he made no move to stand, as though he truly would remain there, drowning in the rain, until I granted him permission to rise.

I stared at him for a long time. The rain ran down my face and I could not tell what was rain and what was not. Then I shook my head, my voice flat and scraped clean of feeling.

"I'm not angry. I just didn't expect the rain."

Only then did he rise and wrap his arms around me. Something dark flickered behind his eyes, a shadow that passed too quickly to name, before he murmured, "In a few days, I'll take you back to the Moon Goddess Sanctuary..."

He hesitated. His jaw tightened, and his voice dropped lower.

"There's a famine spreading through the Greymarch Territory. That's what the council meeting was about. I need to leave for the border territory aid mission. I won't be back for five days."

My expression didn't change. I called for the attendants to pack his things, then slipped a small box from inside my robe and held it out to him.

"What's this?"

He reached to open it, but I pressed the lid shut with my hand.

"It's a Moonblessed Charm Pouch I received for you at the Sanctuary. You can only open it when you return home. Otherwise the blessing won't hold."

His eyes lit up, warm and bright for a single unguarded moment. He tucked the box against his chest, pressing it close to his heart. For a fleeting instant, guilt shadowed his face, pulling at the corners of his mouth. Then he grabbed his pack and walked out the door.

The rain kept falling long after his scent had faded from the air.