Only I knew how much it hurt.

At least I'd finally decided to pull this thorn out.

I looked at him. "I'm not threatening you. And I'm not jealous."

"Then why?" His breathing had gone uneven. "If the wedding planning feels like too much, then we keep it simple. I don't care about any of that."

I shook my head, still wanting to say more.

The sound of running water in the bathroom cut off.

"Let's just leave it. The marriage is a long road ahead. Living it well is what matters more than anything."

He tossed the words out and hurried toward the bathroom.

A moment later, the hum of a hair dryer drifted out, along with easy laughter and chatter.

I stood where I was, and said it quietly, deep down.

Roderick, there is no road ahead for us.

I turned back to my room and slept straight through till morning.

When I woke, the two of them were getting ready to head out.

"I'm taking Bernice home to grab her laptop, then dropping her at work." Roderick paused at the entryway and looked back at me.

He hesitated, then, unusually, asked one more thing. "Want to come along? I'll drop you off."

He'd never once driven me anywhere before. Said it would look improper.

So rain or shine, I got myself to and from work on my own.

But once Bernice arrived, he got up early every day and went out of his way to drive her in, and no matter how late he finished at night, he took her home first.

"No need," I said, shaking my head. "There won't be any need anymore."

He blanked, wanting to ask something, but I'd already closed the bathroom door.

Back at the office, I printed out my resignation letter and handed it to Roderick.

He stared at it for a long moment, then asked, "Reason?"

"I'm tired."

His expression eased. "So when you said this morning I didn't need to drive you anymore, it was because you're quitting?"

"Fine by me." He picked up a pen and signed. "We're getting married soon anyway. From now on you can rest at home, and once the baby comes, just focus on that."

"Let's set your last day as the day before the wedding. I'll move fast on hiring a replacement."

I fixed my eyes on the pen in his hand.

A cartoon design, with an exaggerated rabbit printed on the barrel.

A little star dangled off the tip, swinging back and forth, giving off a childishness that had no place in a CEO's office.

I'd seen the same one on Bernice's desk.

Then it came back to me.

I'd once left a little pig cushion on his sofa, hoping to bring some life into the dull office.

He'd frowned. "This is an office, not your bedroom."

"If a client sees it, they'll just think we're not professional."

The cushion ended up shoved to the very bottom of a cabinet and never came out again.

Now he held this pen, his movements smooth and natural, like he'd used it plenty of times.

I took the resignation letter back without a word and turned to leave.

I'd just reached the door when I ran into Bernice coming in with a bag of bubble tea, her face lit up with delight.

"Roderick, you ordered bubble tea for me?"

He laughed under his breath. "Didn't you keep saying this morning you wanted something sweet?"

"I just said it offhand and you remembered. Roderick, you're so good to me." She smiled sweetly and pulled out a cup, holding it toward me. "Lottie, want to share one?"

"Sure." I reached out.

Ever since he'd frowned and pronounced bubble tea "sickly sweet, only kids like that stuff," I'd barely touched it.

Bernice's smile faltered. She didn't let go.

"What? Regretting it already?" I looked at her, the smile not quite a smile.

She lifted the corners of her mouth again and released it. "No. I just thought you didn't like sweet things."

I took it and had a sip. "Mm. It really is sweet."

A thing you once couldn't have, once you finally tasted it, turned out you didn't want it that much after all.

I flicked my hand, and the bubble tea went into the trash.

"You…" She stared at that cup, her eyes slowly going red.

"Lottie Fox!" Roderick's warning came from behind me.

I didn't turn around. I went straight back to my desk.

For the next few days I was busy handing off my work, and Roderick and I barely spoke.

The day I left.

Once my things were packed, I didn't say goodbye. I just carried the box into the elevator and rode down.

At the front entrance I ran into Roderick and Bernice coming back from a client meeting. I stepped around them.

He caught up, his face cold.

"What's this cold war you've been pulling the last few days? Who set you off now?"

I kept my voice flat. "I'm just clearing the space for you and Secretary Swanson."

"Don't get snide with me." His brow creased. "You threw out her bubble tea last time, and she was upset about it for days. You still owe her an apology."

Bernice tugged at his sleeve, her voice low. "It's fine. Lottie's leaving anyway. Let's not fall out over something so small."

"And you'll buy me more bubble tea from now on, won't you?"

She looked up at him, eyes curved in a smile.

"Of course." His voice softened, and the look he turned on me was openly reproachful. "Bernice is being this generous. Don't you feel ashamed?

"You should learn from her, how she keeps the bigger picture in mind, instead of pouring all your energy into jealousy."

Silence spread.

Bernice spoke up. "Roderick, let's see Lottie off."

He gave a slight nod, his eyes carrying a trace of condescending tolerance. "All right. I'll call you a car."

I shook my head to say there was no need, and his phone rang.

"I have to take a client call." He answered and walked off into the distance.

Bernice watched his back and let out a soft laugh. "I've had my eye on that custom desk of yours. Roderick said I could have it. You don't mind, do you?"

I gave her a light glance. "It's my leftovers. If you want it, take it."

Her smile froze for an instant. Then she stepped closer and lowered her voice.

"That silk nightgown, that's your leftovers too, isn't it? But I don't mind. The night I wore it, Roderick even complimented me. He said it looked better on me than on you."

She paused, almost pressing her lips to my ear.

"Tell me, if I keep picking up your castoffs, do you think I'll pick up the man too?"

The moment those words left her mouth, I raised my hand and slapped her.

"Scavenging is one thing, but you had to rub it in my face. Were you afraid I wouldn't teach you a lesson?"

Bernice glanced past my shoulder and said nothing.

She only let herself drop to the ground with the force of it, hand over her cheek, tears spilling down.

"What are you doing?" Roderick hung up, saw the scene, and roared at me.

He shoved me aside and rushed to Bernice.

I fell to the floor.

The box tipped over, and the glass cup shattered.

My palm came down on the shards, blood streaming.

He didn't notice at all. He was only checking on her, all concern.

When he saw the red mark on her face, his expression changed. "What happened?"

She sobbed quietly. "I only brought up the thing about the desk…"

He turned and looked down at me, his face cold. "That desk was something you didn't want anyway. What's wrong with giving it to her?"

"You know how much I hate bullying, and you still use your higher rank to push her around at every turn." His eyes were full of disappointment. "Lottie Fox, you really disgust me."

He helped her up and turned away. "Get yourself home. Once you're there, take a good look at yourself, and tomorrow at the wedding I want to hear you apologize."

I watched him walk off with his arm around her, then looked down at the blood in my palm, pulled out a tissue, and wiped it clean.

It didn't hurt. Really, it didn't hurt anymore.

Back home, I packed until deep into the night. Outside the window, fireworks cracked open.

My phone buzzed. A message from Roderick.

【Not coming home tonight. Bernice is in a bad mood, so I'm setting off fireworks up on the hilltop to cheer her up.】

I didn't answer. I slept without dreaming.

The next morning I dragged my suitcase straight to the airport.

When I got there, Roderick messaged again.

"Send me the wedding venue address. I'm bringing Bernice over now. Have you figured out what you're going to say when you apologize?"

I replied: 【Roderick, let's break up.】

Then I switched on airplane mode and boarded.

Looking out at the clouds beyond the window, I drew a deep breath.

My heart felt light, as if seven years of joy and grief had all been buried down there in that city beneath my feet.