John held my hand tightly, his expression unreadable, his emotions shrouded in an indescribable haze.

Dr. Lane’s voice was cold, laced with a subtle reprimand. “Mr. Smith, your wife barely escaped death this time. If the nurse hadn’t found her in time... she might not be here right now. She will have a high fever for the next few days—you’d better take proper care of her.”

I felt the warmth of John’s face against my hand. I wanted to pull away, but my body was too weak to resist. I could only lie there, allowing him to do as he pleased.

“No... I will protect her. She won’t die.”

His voice wavered, the faintest tremor betraying something unfamiliar—was it fear? Desperation? Or was it just my imagination?

Perhaps it was a dream. After all, John had never loved me. If I had died, wouldn’t that have set him free to be with the woman he truly cherished?

Still, deep inside, a foolish part of me clung to a shred of hope, though I knew it was impossible.

This time, John didn’t dare leave. He stayed beside me, unwavering, tending to me through the night. He pressed a cool, damp towel to my burning forehead, soothing my fever. Occasionally, I felt the roughness of his unshaven face brushing against my skin. For a fleeting moment, my heart wavered.

Then, as if in a trance, I heard him murmur, “Yurie, don’t worry. No one will take your child’s place.”

In my fevered dreams, I wept bitterly. I had loved him in silence for three years before we married and for five years after. And yet, in this moment, every ounce of my love collapsed like a broken dam.

There was no turning back. Every ounce of tenderness he showed me was merely a shadow of the love he reserved for someone else.

***

When I woke from my nightmare, I found John asleep beside me. His brows were furrowed, as if he were deep in troubled dreams.

For a long moment, I simply stared at him before slowly reaching for my phone. My fingers trembled as I typed a message to my best friend in Brooklyn.

[Didn’t you always want me to join you in starting a business? I’ll come find you in a week.]

John’s grip on my other hand was firm, making it difficult to type. Sweat beaded on my forehead as another wave of pain rippled through my body. I clenched my teeth, lying still, waiting for it to pass.

Then, an untimely chime rang out from his phone.

At first, I ignored it. But when the notifications continued, my curiosity got the better of me. His phone had no password—he always said, “I’m open with Rachel. You can check my phone whenever you like.”

I had trusted him. I had never once taken him up on the offer. The screen lit up, revealing our wedding photo as the background. We looked so happy, smiling like a couple deeply in love. If I hadn’t known better, I might have believed it myself. But then my eyes fell on a series of scheduled reminders and my heart clenched.

[January 22 – Yurie’s birthday. Buy her the one-of-a-kind gemstone necklace.]

Tomorrow. He had planned in advance. He was going to see Yurie tomorrow. My hands moved on their own, clicking into his notes, my mind momentarily forgetting the pain wracking my body. Because the pain in my chest was far greater.

[April 5, 2023 – Today, Yurie looked at me. Is she still unable to let me go? If she had married me from the start, I would have given her all my happiness. But it’s fine. I can still do that now.]

[June 13, 2023 – Yurie fell today. She’s always been frail. I can’t let her go to such places again. I’ll hire more caregivers for her.]

[July 19, 2023 – Tomorrow, my nephew starts school. I must remember to prepare gifts for both mother and child.]

[September 27, 2023 – Today, my nephew accidentally called me ‘Dad.’ It was just a single word, but it made me happier than I expected. Yurie, does this mean we’ve spent enough time together to count as family now?]

A cold chill spread through me, numbing every nerve. I had been nothing but an afterthought. A placeholder. A name he kept in his life, while his heart had always belonged to someone else.

I didn’t dare to keep reading. The days when John wasn’t by my side, he was with his sister-in-law, Yurie.

The span of time felt endless. I didn’t know when the tears had started falling, but they dripped onto the screen of my phone as I scrolled through picture after picture of Yurie—photos he had taken in secret. And yet, aside from the wedding photo he used as a screensaver, I was nowhere to be found in his phone.

So this was love. To love someone was to want to capture every expression, to commit them to memory. My heart plummeted, shattering into irreparable pieces.

I couldn’t let myself stay here any longer. Not like this.

Ignoring the pain coursing through my body, I forced myself to grab my phone. With trembling fingers, I booked a ticket out of here. Then, I contacted an old lawyer friend, asking her to prepare the divorce papers.

Exhausted, I lay back down. At some point, John stirred, rolling over and pulling me into his arms. And just like that, we remained through the night. I never closed my eyes again.

When the first light of dawn filtered through the window, I wiped my cheeks, only to find the remnants of dried tears. John woke, his sleepy gaze settling on me. "Rachel, did you not sleep well?"

I turned my head away, unwilling to answer. He sat up quickly, adjusting the blanket around me. "Did the pain keep you up? I’m sorry. I should’ve taken better care of you."

There was guilt written all over his face. Gently, he brushed my hair back and wiped my face.

"Rachel, the doctor said you can be discharged today. Let’s go to my parents' house for dinner tonight."

His voice was gentle, but there was no room for refusal. Even though I remained silent, John didn’t force me to respond. Instead, he hovered around me attentively, draping his jacket over my shoulders.

"Don’t catch a cold."

He took my hand and led me forward, but my mind was elsewhere. His schedule reminder echoed in my thoughts. Today was Yurie’s birthday. Wasn’t he going to see her?

***

Back home, the house was filled with warmth and laughter.

Yurie was already sitting on the sofa with her son—a cherubic three-year-old with rosy cheeks and bright eyes. For a brief moment, I felt lost in thought. If I had never miscarried, would my child be this old now?

Yurie waved me over. "Rachel, come here. The little one says he misses his aunt and uncle."

The small boy toddled over, wrapping his arms around my legs. His voice was soft and sweet. "Auntie, are you here for Mommy’s birthday too?"

My heart clenched, but before I could respond, John gently pulled the child away. "Auntie just got back from the hospital. Don’t tease her, okay? Be a good boy."

At that moment, my mother-in-law emerged from the kitchen. The smile she wore upon seeing everyone else disappeared the moment her gaze landed on me.

"You’re back," she said curtly.

I stood frozen, unable to find my voice.

She scowled. "Why are you just standing there? Running in and out of hospitals all the time. If I had known your health was this weak, I never would’ve agreed to let you marry John!"

"Five years of marriage and still nothing!" Her sharp words cut through me like a knife.

Instinctively, my hand drifted to my abdomen, a hollow emptiness settling inside me. Was this truly my fault? Had I failed to give them what they wanted?

Once upon a time, my mother-in-law had despised Yurie, blaming her for her son’s death. At first, she refused to acknowledge her, refused to let her son inherit anything. But John and I had never had a child.

Over time, their relationship had softened, even mended. She cast me one last glare before storming back into the kitchen, muttering curses under her breath. John had orchestrated everything.

Every miscarriage. Every lost child. All so that the Smith Family would have only one grandchild. Only one heir.

He gently patted my back and softly said, "It's okay, Rachel. We're just having a meal. We'll go back later. I've let you suffer."

Yurie coldly interjected, "Mom, don't be angry. As long as John and Rachel love each other, isn't that enough?"

The naked eye could detect some panic on John's face. He looked toward her as if he was trying to explain something.

"Broomstar, it's all because of you that John doesn't have a child of his own."

I smiled bitterly. We had been family for five years, yet here I was, always an outsider.

During the meal, the family was cheerful, all wishing Yurie a happy birthday. I lowered my eyes, refusing to look at them. Then, I felt all their gazes fall on me. My mother-in-law was disgruntled. "Today is your sister-in-law's birthday. Don't you have anything to say?"

"Why don't you give her a toast?"