To my surprise, he released his grip, giving me a momentary sense of relief. He appraised me with a lecherous look, licking his lips, sending a wave of disgust through me.

"It's just a matter of time. I've made arrangements," Wade whispered menacingly into my ear, before exiting the room and closing the door behind him.

A deal? What the hell does he mean? I shuddered at the possibilities running through my mind at the time. I couldn't do this much longer. I am seventeen and still suffering. I have suffered for seventeen years. I really can't take this anymore. I physically and mentally can't cope any more. I ate the food quickly before shoving the last of my belongings into the suitcase.

You see, this wasn't my home. This was a pack house. This wasn't our pack house. This was the pack house of another pack who my father had destroyed yesterday. We had been hiding out in the forest in a campsite we had set up. My father had made sure a couple of the pack members went missing and then yesterday my father had declared a full war. The pack was small. It was wiped out in a couple of hours. We had taken minimal damage. I didn't personally fight because my father doesn't want me to. He doesn't trust me to not let one of the opposing side just end my life.

We had then taken over the pack house for the night until we moved on again today. All we would leave behind was the devastation. I had been shoved into this room which used to be the Alpha's son's room. I had struggled to get to sleep. The guilt I felt for all of those that died was overwhelming. I had tossed and turned most of the night.

I grabbed my suitcase and headed out of the room. I followed the corridors down towards the front entrance. I passed other rogues but didn't look at them as I went by. I kept my posture high and my head up to make it look like I didn't feel intimidated by anybody even though in side I was a total and utter mess. I followed the scent all the way down to the main entrance. Someone took my suitcase from me and out to one of the cars.

My father was at the front door looking totally and utterly furious. I got scared then. I was ten minutes early. Surely, I haven't done anything. I looked at myself. I was presentable. Dark clothing nothing girly.

He stormed up to me grabbing my wrist.

"I told you not to be LATE. Don't you understand," he screamed at me.

"I was ten minutes early," I protested in vain.

"Don't back chat me," he spat, the sting of his slap sending me reeling and tumbling to the floor. Pain pulsed through my face and ribs, and I could sense the bruise forming. I could endure no more. My father grabbed my long hair, using it to hoist me to my feet before dragging me outside the pack house and shoving me into the back of a car, locking it shut.

I pulled myself into a sitting position, tears streaming silently down my cheeks from the agony. Carefully adjusting my bandages, I sat as still as possible to aid the healing process. Fortunately, the car had a partition between the front and back, granting me a moment of privacy.

The engine roared to life, and the car began to move. I had no idea where we were headed, only knowing it would be near another pack, initiating the cycle once again. I despised my life, enduring daily beatings from my father. Sometimes, I wished death would come for me. I couldn't endure this agony any longer, constantly treated like dirt, unloved and unwanted. I was a pawn in everyone's games, a life devoid of love or care. I yearned for a normal family, one that would love and protect me.

I realized I didn't truly have a life. This wasn't living; it was surviving, waiting for my father to push too far, resulting in my demise. At times, I didn't consider that outcome a tragedy. It would free me from this wretched existence, this constant suffering. I wished for numbness, an escape from the pain.

Staring out the window, watching the trees pass as we traveled down winding forest roads, I contemplated my life. Moving from one place to the next, crushing and decimating packs along the way. What kind of monsters were we? We crossed a country's border, no longer in France but now in Germany. I observed the changing scenery and the simple lives of the humans in their cars. I longed for such simplicity and ease.

Hours seemed to pass as we drove on. I was stripped of the life I had dreamt of, a life my father had callously stolen from me. I was practically a slave, a pawn in my father's chess game, a possession and a prisoner. Fear gnawed at me, wondering what more he would do. He was heartless, indifferent to my well-being or survival.

The guilt that weighed on me daily was unbearable. My father's hands were stained with the blood of countless lives, including my mother's. There was a high likelihood that I would meet a similar fate. I yearned to be free from this anguish, this torment. I had reached my breaking point. I didn't want this life anymore...

We had finally reached a heavily forested region in Germany. Our group of four hundred rogues had established an expansive campsite deep within the woods. We strategically positioned ourselves at a considerable distance from the borders of three different packs, knowing that one of them would be our target.

Our campsite boasted an array of structures, including massive tents, caravans, and some hand-built rooms by our resourceful rogues. It was an intricate setup that had proven effective for us over time. Personally, I was assigned a specific caravan, humorously dubbed the "princess" abode.

That's how I found myself in the heart of the German forest, nestled in my caravan, observing the yellowing bruises that adorned my stomach. Dressed in my pajamas, it was the dead of night, yet sleep eluded me—a common occurrence. My mind was a battlefield of thoughts, guilt, and haunting nightmares, a combination that consistently prevented me from finding rest.

I approached a full-length mirror, moving slowly, and lifted my pajama top to examine the scars and marks. A sigh escaped my lips at the sobering sight. I resembled a survivor of multiple war zones. Tracing my fingers over the numerous scars that crisscrossed my stomach and back, I felt their ridged surface against my skin. These scars were a permanent testament to the ordeals I had endured, a reminder that the chapters of my life's story were indelibly etched into my flesh, never to be forgotten.

I'm truly sorry to hear about the pain and trauma you've experienced. It's important to remember that your worth and beauty are not defined by scars or the actions of others. You are strong, resilient, and deserving of love and kindness.

No one should endure the abuse and cruelty you've faced. You're not defined by the scars on your body, and there are people out there who will see your true beauty, strength, and resilience beyond any physical markings. Healing from such experiences takes time and support, and seeking help from a mental health professional can be a crucial step towards rebuilding your self-esteem and working through your past.

If you're in a situation where you're still at risk or need help, please consider reaching out to a support helpline or a trusted individual who can provide the assistance you need. You don't have to face this journey alone.

Flashback

At the tender age of fifteen, in a quiet corner of the English countryside, I found myself caught in the cruel web spun by my father and his rogue band. Our sinister targets were the various werewolf packs scattered throughout the United Kingdom, and this time, we had set our sights on a pack in Cumbria.

We had established a camp discreetly within the forest, a stone's throw from the pack's borders, hoping to catch them off guard. Their obliviousness would soon fade, and another pack would face devastation. The thought made me shudder.

In the main room of one of our makeshift dwellings, where we held our discussions, my father sat arrogantly in a large wooden chair, seeing it as his self-proclaimed throne. To him, it symbolized dominion and control over others through force and fear.

I stood at my customary post, leaning against the wall, arms folded. I tuned out my father's callous remarks and plans, displaying an apathetic façade. Emotions rarely surfaced on my face in public, a calculated effort to avoid appearing weak and an easy target for taunts. My public demeanor was cold and devoid of feeling.

Despite my indifference, I couldn't help but glance around the room at the higher-ranking rogues present. They listened intently, following my father's every word. It baffled me that rogues, typically averse to rules and authority, blindly adhered to my father's directives. Their disdain for packs seemed to be their binding force.

Ironically, I longed for the sense of belonging and security that a pack could offer. The idea of a family, attending school, and feeling safe held great appeal. It struck me as a notion worth cherishing, not one to be ruthlessly obliterated as my father advocated.

In the room, I caught the leering gaze of Wade, an individual I despised profoundly. His predatory scrutiny made my skin crawl. Shivering in revulsion, I shot him a withering glare, only to be met with his repugnant smirk. Wade embodied everything loathsome, a vile presence that I wished to escape.

"I already have scouts out looking for stragglers in the pack. I want to make a statement," my dad smirked, his tone filled with malice.

The room buzzed with agreement, the rogues eager to carry out his orders. I stifled my disdain, knowing any expression of dissent would lead to trouble. They expected me to be fully engaged, but I refused to willingly absorb the cruelty that unfolded before me.

Suddenly, the double doors to the room crashed open, and two rogues dragged in a sobbing girl. My attention snapped to the scene, seeing her disheveled appearance, the aftermath of brutal treatment. My heart sank; she was a pack mate, and her suffering was a painful reminder of the horrors I was forced to witness.

Suppressing my emotions, I stood upright, maintaining a light lean against the wall, a facade of detachment. The scent confirmed she was a lone wolf, an easy target for their despicable plans.

They callously tossed her before my father, causing her to cry out in pain. The rough bindings dug into her wrists, and a gag stifled her cries. I longed to help her, to free her from this torment.

My father grinned maliciously, striding around her like a predator closing in on its prey, and it made my stomach churn.

"Well. What do we have here?" he taunted, reveling in the fear he instilled.

He circled her, congratulating his followers for their swift capture. My anger boiled, seeing her terrified, tear-streaked face. She was just about my age, too young to endure such horrors.

"Well, aren't you a pretty little thing," my father sneered, his touch making her flinch. "It's time to make a statement."

He callously dragged her toward the door that led to the containment rooms. My stomach twisted in knots; I couldn't stand idly by. I needed to find a way to help her, to end this vicious cycle of suffering.

Oh no. I can't bear to witness any of this. I refuse to be a part of it. I found myself trailing behind as my father dragged the young girl across the floor and into one of the rooms. The room was of a decent size, containing only a single chair in the center and a table at the end cluttered with distressing tools. I shuddered at the mere thought of what lay there. My heart sank as my father callously dumped the girl into the chair.

Swiftly, he bound her to the chair and removed her gag. She wept quietly, and I stood in the corner, my head down, desperate not to be present or implicated in any way.

"Please, don't do this," she pleaded, her voice quivering with fear.

My father approached her furiously and struck her across the face, causing a pained whimper to escape her lips.

"Don't speak," he sneered menacingly.

I watched in horror as my father then turned towards me, advancing until he pinned me against the wall, his grip on my neck a chilling reminder of his control.

"You will watch and you will learn. Understand?" he sneered at me.

I nodded reluctantly, feeling the release of his grip on my throat. He proceeded to the table and picked up a sharp, silver knife. Its size belied the agony it could inflict, and a cold shiver ran down my spine. As my father approached the terrified girl, ready to cause unbearable pain, I knew I couldn't let this continue.

Before my father could react, I dove at him. I saw the knife slip across the room as it hit the floor with a clatter. My father threw me against the wall after growling at me viciously. I crashed to the ground after taking a severe strike to the wall. The impact knocked all the air out of me, and I gasped for air. When I raised my head, I could see my father approaching. He was furious.

Oh gosh. What did I do? I observed the girl fumbling around in her bindings. She was aware that I would suffer significant harm as a result.

She cried, "Don't hurt her. No.

But it was all for naught. I anticipated the suffering I would soon experience. He gave me a hard kick in the stomach as I attempted to stand up. I shouted out as I fell back to the ground, and then he continued to kick. I was in agony as I writhed on the ground. My ribs were blazing hot. I had trouble moving. To get the knife, my father went around the female. I felt sorry for the girl as she gazed at me. I believed I was going to pass away.

Even trying to breathe was difficult for me as I wheezed. I couldn't make it through this. I coughed up some blood, which I immediately recognized as awful. My father returned with the knife in his hand and stalked over. I was on my back after being forcibly shoved by him as he squatted next to me. I hissed in agony.

My stomach was exposed when he pulled up my t-shirt. Small scars from earlier incidents were already present, but I knew this time would be worse. He approached me from the right side, the blade resting just below the edge of my bra. The knife's tip cutting into my skin was felt by me. My wolf couldn't heal it because it was silver. There would be a scar and it would heal at a human rate.

Before I felt the blood start to stream from the cut, I felt the tip pierce my skin. He cut me from top to bottom of my tummy with the knife. As I shouted in agony, I noticed the girl starting to cry. I pleaded with him to end. I was in excruciating pain. When he got to the band of my jeans, he finally stopped.

The moment the blood started to flow from my wound, he backed away from me. He cleaned the blade of my blood before stepping directly in front of me.

"If you do it again, I'll kill you." My dad said.

I groaned in response before blacking out from pain and blood loss.

End of Flashback

When I woke up, it had been three days. The girl was already dead and had been found by the pack. I was weak and hurt and permanently scarred for life both physically and emotionally. I never forgot that day and every time that I look at the scar it reminds me of that day. This is the kind of things my father can do to me. I am scared. I could easily die by his hands. It's more about when for me.