Repainting My Life: Once Tethered, Now Free

( Repainting My Life: Once Tethered, Now Free-Ⅰ)

After discovering that his ex-girlfriend, Lilian Bowen, had returned from Paris after completing her fashion studies, my husband, Gale Douglas, began to drift away.

It started slowly at first, like casual mentions of Lilian’s career, the admiration in his voice when he spoke of her success. Soon, it became undeniable.

Gale was captivated, following her like a loyal duckling trailing its mother.

When Lilian opened her boutique in Providence, Gale not only attended but became her greatest sponsor, investing time, money, and admiration in a way I had never seen before.

I had been Gale's wife for four years, yet somehow, I could not compete with his new-old flame.

Gale’s eyes sparkled in Lilian's presence, and her every achievement seemed to eclipse my existence.

The day of my graduation, a day I had dreamed of sharing with my husband, came and went. Gale was not by my side, as he had promised. Instead, he flew to New York with Lilian for Fashion Week.

I was left standing alone, feeling the ache of his absence and the humiliation of explaining it to others.

When I confronted him, Gale dismissed my feelings as petty.

"Don’t be spoiled," he’d say. "You have everything here, drivers, maids, chefs, and butlers. Lilian, though, she’s alone in Providence, far from her family. She needs support."

But what about me? What about the milestones, the small and large victories I wanted to share with my husband?

The final straw came when Gale accompanied Lilian to Paris Fashion Week, meeting her parents and integrating himself even deeper into her world.

I had lost him, and with every fiber of my being, I knew it was time to let go. The decision, when it came, was bittersweet but clear.

I signed the divorce papers and left Douglas Manor. My next destination was Italy, where I could finally pursue my master degree, free from Gale’s shadow and his divided heart.

As I prepared to leave, I sent Gale one last message.

[Rachel: Since there's nothing left for me here, I will leave you to the life you have always wanted.]

His reply was cold, dismissive, and painfully revealing.

[Gale: How can you live without me? Without my money?]

At that moment, tears welled up, as I realized I had been little more than a possession to him, an accessory in his world rather than a partner in his life.

I blocked his number, severing the last tie between us, determined to start fresh and find my own path.

Days later, I heard from mutual friends that Gale was frantically searching for me, sending messages I had never received. [Rachel, I’m sorry. Please come back to me.]

***

Tomorrow, I would finally graduate after four years of intense study, majoring in Painting at the Rhode Island School of Design.

That was a day I had longed to share with my husband, Gale. But when I mentioned it to him over dinner, his response was as cold as the winter wind.

"I have something to do tomorrow," he said curtly. "I’ll just send you flowers."

With that, he rose from the table, already engrossed in his phone, leaving me staring at the empty space where he had sat, feeling as though I had been dismissed from his life entirely.

In recent months, just when I thought Gale had started to warm up to me, he grew distant again. The cause of his sudden change was no secret that his ex-girlfriend, Lilian Bowen, had returned from Paris, planning to open her own boutique in Providence.

Since her arrival, Gale has been at her side, like funding her dreams, supporting her every step, as if she were his wife.

For a whole month, I watched as he catered to her every need, lavishing her with his time and attention, while I was left with nothing but brief, dismissive conversations and half-hearted gestures.

A month ago, I opened my own art exhibition, a milestone I had worked tirelessly toward. Gale did not come.

He could not even spare a day to witness what I had created. Instead, he sent a bouquet of flowers with a generic note, a gesture that felt more like an obligation than a celebration.

Yet, when Lilian needed him to pick her up from the airport, he rushed to her side without hesitation. For her, he even managed to make time to arrange every detail for her boutique's opening in Providence, as if she was the center of his world.

It felt as though I were nothing more than a ghost in my own marriage, haunting the halls of Douglas Manor, invisible to the man I had committed my life to.

Frustration bubbling up inside me, I followed him upstairs, my voice breaking the silence.

"Why are you so cruel, Gale? When you didn’t come to my art exhibition last month, I held my tongue. When you went to pick up Lilian from the airport instead of spending time with me, I kept quiet.

“And when you poured your time and money into her boutique, I didn’t complain. But now, on my graduation day, you can’t even spare a few hours for me? Is it all because of Lilian, again?"

My voice was shaking, and perhaps the maids could hear, but I did not care. I needed him to understand the pain he was causing me.

He turned to me, sliding his phone into his pocket, his face a mixture of annoyance and disdain.

Without a word, he stepped closer, pressing me against the wall with a force that made me shiver.

“What are you fussing about this time?” he sneered. “Is your monthly allowance not enough? Or do you need some luxury gift? Just say it, Rachel, instead of making a scene.”

His words hit me like a slap. His insults cut deeper than he could ever know, reducing everything I felt for him to something material and shallow.

Tears filled my eyes as I whispered, “I don’t need your money, Gale. I need you. I need my husband to be with me, to care for me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

But my vulnerability seemed to amuse him; he smirked, his gaze cold and mocking as he pinched my chin roughly.

“Your tears don’t work on me, Rachel. And I will never give you what you want. Don’t expect me to attend your graduation,” he said, his voice like ice.

He released my chin with a sharp tug, leaving it stinging and red.

Without another word, he turned, slamming the door of his bedroom so hard it reverberated through the house.

Our marriage had always been empty, but in that moment, the reality of it crushed me.

From the very start, our union had been nothing but a contract, an agreement arranged by his mother. We lived in separate rooms, strangers under one roof.

To Gale, I was no more than a maid, tending to his every need as if that was the only reason I existed.

Though the manor was full of staff, he insisted that I be the one to lay out his clothes, draw his bath, and make his bed each day. A mockery of a marriage, stripped of affection, intimacy, or kindness.

The man I had once hoped to build a life with had become an unbearable stranger. And though my heart ached with the memories of every kindness I had tried to give him, every hope I had once clung to, I knew that I had to let them all go starting from that day.