**After I packed everything into my backpack, I walked to the Brooklyn Bridge, where the East River passes and connects to Manhattan, it is very high, during the course I thought a lot about my life, I often have the feeling that I'm messing up the lives of Mr. Stevens and that I'm taking advantage of their kindness, I'm not worthy of their help; today I can't trust anyone else, I exclude myself from the world and always manage to convince the teachers to let me do my homework alone.

Dona Carmem didn't want to tell me where Iuri went, I haven't had any news from him for two years, every day my heart eats with guilt for the things I said to him, I don't even know if I will see him again, but I pray to God that I will, I really need to apologize.

Today I know that if I had valued what he felt, maybe I would be really happy next to him, yes, although he is still young, he was a real man and the only one I have ever met in my life, I have learned to fake a smile of happiness, but it is so hard to sustain him, and it gets worse every day. I know I need to get better, but inside, every day in my head I hammer how useless I am, how much I am trash, that I don't deserve anything good in life, only things that hurt me and make me cry every night.

The road is busy, throwing myself in front of a car would be very painful, and this could ruin and delay the lives of other people who have nothing to do with my unfortunate situation.

I take a deep breath, sit down on the railing of the bridge facing the river and feel the wind blowing in my face, it is calm, a pity my mind is not like that. I feel troubled, haunted, and dark. I remember my mother's words, I should be dead, or rather, I shouldn't even have been born. My chest hurts, I don't want to live anymore, I don't want to ruin anyone's life anymore.

From the small pocket of my backpack I take out a stiletto and look carefully at its sharp point, it is possible to see a glimpse of my reflection, surely everyone will be better off without me, my parents will no longer have reason to be ashamed of me and Messrs.

Yeah, I have no place in the world.

With my mind completely blank, I don't even need to gather my courage, I take the stiletto to my wrist and make a long cut right in the middle of my wrist and down to my forearm, I'm not sure how deep it is, the pain is burning, but I don't stop. I feel the warm blood running down my forearm, no more tears come out of my eyes, my legs are shaking, I stand on my body guard and watch the river flow, the wind blows making my hair dance, I open my arms and accept that finally I will have peace. The sun is setting, and with it my sadness too. Just one step... just one step, I lift my leg and close my eyes tightly, I take one last deep breath, I propel my body forward, but instead of feeling the cold water choking me and burning my lungs, what I feel is a cut opening on my forehead, I open my eyes, large male hands encircle my waist, I stand up startled and my head spins, my vision blurs and the last thing I see is a familiar face, Leandro's face.**

"What do you intend to do now?" I snap out of my reveries with Leandro's voice.

"I will start working full time at Stevens company headquarters, in the economics department of the company" I say smiling, I will now no longer be living with Messrs Stevens "And you?"

"I'm going to do a master's degree in accounting," he answers smiling.

"I'll be waiting for you at the company.

Two years ago, when he saved my life, Mr. Gustam offered him a job at Stevens as a way to thank him, he accepted, but said he would only go when he finished his studies and had the ability to perform the job as best as possible.

I didn't forgive him right away, but I only noticed that we were in the same course after these events, I was in the same class with him for four semesters and never noticed his presence. I only really started the process of forgiving him after he insisted a lot, to the point of making the heads of the professors to put us as a pair in the assignments, after this and many conversations with the psychologist, it took three months for us to become friends, and I am happy, today I no longer feel alone and not as guilty as before, I can say that I am in a new phase.

"I finally found you!" my older sister appears hugging me "I'm so proud, you've grown so much" she says with emotional eyes.

"Thank you, sis" I smile and she hugs me tight.

I contacted her a year ago, she was very happy and so was I, she is the only fragment I have left of my family, she has not told our parents that she talks to me, they will only hear about me tomorrow, when I will enter as an employee at the headquarters of the Stevens company, before I was an intern at a nearby branch office, I can't even imagine the face my parents will make when they see me there.

"Mrs. Carmen appears and greets my sister, who also hugs her.

"Every day you look younger" she says smiling.

"How nice of you" she smiles openly, "Too bad you arrived on time to leave."

It's already two thirty in the morning, from today I will no longer live at Mr. Stevens' house or use their car, I'll be independent. The money I earned from the internships I saved and bought an apartment with two bedrooms, one suite, a large living room and kitchen and service area very large. they did not let me refuse the gift and furnished the AP, it was perfect. Now I have a little place that I can call my own.

"Well, at least I will be able to see you tonight, tomorrow I will be in court all day.

"I hope you win, as always," he smiled at her and hugged her once more as a way of saying goodbye.

"We will give you one last ride," Mr. Gustam speaks smiling proudly.

I agree and we leave the college. I can't wait for the time to come and show that I have value.

************

The glass doors open, it is exactly seven thirty in the morning, in half an hour the company goes into full swing, I know that all the managers are already gathered to meet the new employee in the president's office, I take a deep breath. With firm steps I enter the metal box and press the button for the top floor, in less than five minutes the doors open and I take the first step into another new phase.

I didn't want any position that I had to be in, and because I'm just a simple employee I shouldn't be introduced to the entire management of the company, but Mr. Gustam insisted, he wants to show what his rejected daughter has become.

I feel my heart beating hard, as if it were about to burst out of my chest, I need to stay cool and centered, I can't falter. Sucking in a deep breath one last time, I open the big smoked glass door. I enter with my head down, I am wearing a black pencil skirt and an ice-colored social blouse, black stiletto heels, and loose hair that bangs against my butt. Raising my head, I note with satisfaction the wide-eyed, disbelieving eyes of my parents.

7/26/2026 - Cambridge, Massachusetts.

[ Iuri Stevens' Vision]

"Will you call me again?" asks the green-eyed brunette I didn't even make a point of asking her name.

Last night was my last night here, in half an hour I will travel back home and take over the presidency of the company, my parents will have their dream retirement. It's already seven years away, has anything changed there?

"I think your friend told you that I don't stay with anyone more than once," I say in a cold way while I fish my clothes spread on the floor.

Whenever one of them comes to ask me if I will call or meet them again, I remember when I was twelve years old. I thought that was the age when everyone finally kissed for the first time. There was a girl in my class, her name was Marina, she was the prettiest girl in the sixth grade, she had curly hair and blue eyes. One day she came to talk to me, she said she thought I was very cute and smart, I found it strange, but she kept talking to me and then I started thinking that maybe it was true. Early in the morning she said that she wanted to be with me, this was on a Friday - if I am not mistaken - she said that I was to meet her behind the school when classes were over. I remember how excited I was, I was going to have my first kiss. Ah... what an illusion.

When I arrived at the place, everyone from my class was there, this made me even more gloomy, my youthful mind couldn't understand what was actually happening, it only said that I should run out of there. Those guys had already played several tricks on me, and if they saw me reaching for the books in the closet they would pull at my underwear, once they did it so hard that I needed an ointment for a rash. But there they were, all looking at me and laughing. Until she appeared, and in a completely different tone than she used to talk to me, without a shred of compassion she spoke:

** "Did you really think that someone like me would be with someone like YOU?" they all laughed and I cringed, grabbing the strap of my backpack, "Look in the mirror monster, look at those pimples on your face that look like volcanoes, that awful messy hair," at that moment I remember her touching my hair and saying how soft it was, liar! "You stink like a pissing nerd. I would never put my mouth in your mouthpiece! I'm disgusted just thinking about it."

And look how I am today, they try to win me over, they get me, and then they want a second round. Only now I'm the one who dismisses them.

I still remember that after that speech I tried to leave the circle, but the gang stopped me. Devid appeared and kissed Marina right there in front of me, a kiss that you could see the drool dripping off. When they stopped, they turned to me and started throwing eggs in my face, the ones holding me back moved away and joined them in throwing eggs at me and called me an ugly virgin. Thankfully, at that time my parents were not home during the day, and I always sneaked in through the back door so Mrs. Lueni would not see me. Ah... bad memories, how I wanted to get you out of my mind.

But these memories don't hurt as much as Aya's words.

During these seven years, Aya kept coming and going in my mind, thanks to the truths she threw in my face seven years ago, I am today a very different person from what she knew. She managed to destroy me in a way that no other person could. I didn't want to hear from her, but I know that my parents took care of her and that today she must be able to support herself, our story hasn't even begun but has already come to an end; I don't want to feel anything for her anymore. Since I am only twenty-five years old, at the age of thirty I will get anyone to have children. I never want to love anyone the way I loved her again. I know that no woman but my mother loves me, and her love alone is enough for me. I don't delude myself with the sweet words that the women I stay with speak, they know who I am and they only want the money and status they would get from having a relationship with me.

"I thought I was different..." she says, pouting.

"Why did you think that?" I ask, turning my back to her and putting on the top of my suit.

"You treated me like a princess, just calling me kitten, such an affectionate nickname..." I only called her that because I didn't know her name.

"Don't confuse things, I'm a man, not a boy. Now get dressed, I will leave the motel bill paid, if you want to eat before you leave just ask, I will leave it paid too."

I finish the knot of my tie and leave the room, leaving her alone, I go downstairs and the car is already waiting for me at the hotel entrance.

I am returning home.

[ New York, Manhattan, Upper East Side - View by Aya Millenis]

"What do you say we go out drinking?" Leandro suggests, "We haven't done that in over a year" he comments as he tidies up the papers on his desk.

It's been more than a year since we all went out together on a program, Leandro keeps calling, but both my sister and I are busy, she because of her work, and I?

"I'll go to the orphanage," I reply, smiling.

"I understand, you can't stay too long away from her.

"No" I agree with his statement, "I like her so much.... I will go with my sister today."

"Well, then I will take the opportunity to take my cat on a walk. Oh no... She is also at the orphanage, it seems that now you exclude me from your programs. I feel lonely!" oh drama, I hold back the urge to laugh.

"Don't be so melodramatic, that's not your strong suit."

"You are right, I will wait for her to come back, I guess a movie at eight is not a bad idea."

"It is a good idea, and it does a lot of good, keeping romance in marriage is very healthy."

"Yes, it is. So, see you tomorrow Aya."

" Bye" I wave goodbye to him and go back to organizing the papers.

After putting everything away, I take my bag and leave the room and walk to the company's parking lot, time has really flown by, I have been working here for three years. Leandro is one and a half years old, but he already holds the position of director of the economic development sector, and now I am his secretary.

I have been visiting the Zion orphanage for two years now, Luana is the director there, but to everyone's misfortune, when she joined, the orphanage started to go through many difficulties, the government turned its back and the social parties for donations were not working anymore, nobody wanted to help an orphanage that has no positive prestige, the former director embezzled money and mistreated the children. Two years ago, a baby girl was abandoned in the orphanage, she will be two years old today, I really wish I could adopt her, but I can't because I'm is single.

I get out of the metal box and drive to the company's parking lot, get into my silver Audi A4 and drive to my sister's house, the drive takes about ten minutes.

"I thought I would never leave the company again" she speaks as she gets into the car and throws a huge bag on the back seat.

"And miss my little one's birthday? Never!" I say, and as soon as she closes the car door, I start the car.

I won't bring anything like cake or party stuff, there are many children there and it wouldn't be fair to do it for only one, so I'll just bring a small gift. My sister brought gifts for everyone yesterday, just to give me the excuse that today she'll only get one.

"What did you buy?"

"A barbie doll, from that movie diamond castle."

"I love that movie, it was one of the best."

"I agree, I also bought the DVD and am taking it to the kids there to watch."

"What a coincidence, I'm bringing popcorn and soda, we can already simulate a movie theater for them."

"It's going to be a really cool one."

"Yes, and tomorrow we'll go to a party, you need to find a husband soon, Luana said there were some couples with their eye on the little one," she pauses and we both sigh, "Too bad Leandro's friends gave up at the last minute."

At this moment I cringe, they gave up because after a month I didn't want to go to the next phase. For a year and a half I've been trying to get a husband so that I could adopt Heloysie, but with every man I meet, failure always comes within a month. I didn't tell anyone why they gave up, and I am thankful that they didn't either, I couldn't even stand it when they touched my arms. I felt that those hands didn't belong on me, I can't explain it, I don't have any trauma, but I don't understand why I can't do it, I don't have the ideal of marrying a virgin like my parents always wanted, but I think that deep down I feel that I haven't found the right person and that must be what is holding me back.

I remember how the conversation with the first suitor went:

** "Do you want to go to my place or yours?" Luan asks me already inside the car, we were in the restaurant talking about his visit to the child on Monday.

"To my house" I answer tiredly. All I want right now is to put my feet up and sleep very comfortably.

I feel his hand on my thigh, and my whole body tenses up immediately.

"Relax love, when we get to your house I will make you see stars!"

"What do you mean?" I ask holding myself back from screaming.

"You're going to cum so much on my cock" he answers me smiling and I feel my stomach turn.

"No-No... We're not going to have sex!"

"Why not?" he removes his hand from my thigh, I breathe a relieved breath.

"Because I don't want to" I answer with a firm voice.

"So I have to accept a child that isn't even mine, marry you in two weeks and you don't even want to give me the piriquita? Or better yet, we've already been going out for a month and you haven't even given me a tongue kiss.

"Isn't your dream to have a family?

"I want to fuck you!

Now I'm the one with the incredulous look in his eyes, my mother's words come back to my mind: "You're just a slut that will be eaten and thrown away.

"Stop the car" I command.

"What?"

"I told you to stop the damn car, stop it now!" I speak loudly and he brakes sharply.

I open the door and get out, but before I close it:

"You're a disgusting man, you shouldn't even consider yourself a man!" I slam the car door hard." **

I shake my head to push these memories from my mind, I am feeling hopeless.

"Don't worry sis, we'll find him" he speaks confidently.

During this year and a half, I met more than two hundred men, and among them seven agreed to marry to adopt the girl, however, they wanted something "more", ahead of time and even though I really wanted to adopt this girl, I couldn't get into bed with any of them. Of these seven, five came to meet my little girl, but she didn't like any of them and got naughty.

After fifteen minutes I park in front of the orphanage and take a deep breath, I will kill the longing of the weekend away from her.

[Leandro Silva's vision].

"Leandro" I hear Mr. Gustam's voice and stop walking, I turn to him, it is not common to meet him here.

"Is there a problem sir?" I ask worried, could it be that there was an error in my sector's reports? Impossible, Aya always checks everything.

"No, no, you and Aya always do a great job" I feel relieved, then he continues, "It's something else."

"What?"

"My son is coming home from a trip, he finally finished his studies and now he will take my place as the president of this company."

His words weigh heavily on my mind, I feel the guilt weighing on my conscience, I have never apologized to Iuri for the things I said and did to him, but who would have thought that I would end up working for his father and, consequently, for him. I don't know how I will face him, but I hope he doesn't fire me, in just a single year I got a very high position, now I live well and have my own house and family. Luana is four months pregnant.

Most of the memories I have are not good, I remember more than twenty-five years ago my mother married Carlos when I was five years old, my father had died in a car accident, he was drunk and hit a pole, the car exploded and he died on the spot, I don't even remember his face, all I remember is the beatings he used to give me and my mother. He left nothing, and in just six months, my mother met her "husband", at first he was nice, he was about forty years older than my mother, he treated her well, but after I turned twelve years old, he retired and became a disgusting old man, I couldn't even stand to be in the same presence as him.

After my father's death, I became a complicated child who only got into trouble and made fun of other people's faces. As time went by, practicing these things got tired of me, I won't lie saying that I became an example of a person, I did something with Aya that I know will never be forgiven, even though she told me to leave the past where it is, in the past.

I have never told anyone about what my personal life is like, not even to Suzanne, who is the reason I did what I did with Aya at that time. She never knew my mother, all I let others know was that I was a good looking guy and did super well in sports, they thought I had the perfect life.

I worked at night in a pizzeria, what I was paid was enough to disguise my real situation, my mother also worked, as a cleaner somewhere, I stopped asking, she always changed jobs because her retired husband constantly took immense pleasure in making our lives a living hell. But thank God, this situation did not last forever, I did everything to get out of that hole and give my mother a better life, because despite everything, she does the best she can for me, and I am even more grateful to God for opening my eyes and putting Luana in my life.

"I'm glad Mr. Stevens," I end up stammering, damn it!

"Well, I want you to arrive very early tomorrow and hold a meeting with the other directors, I will announce the arrival of my son," he says with a giant smile, despite everything I am really happy, I know as Mr. Gustam waited anxiously for the return of his son.

"That's fine," I smiles yellow. I'm afraid, but if he dismisses me, it will be well done for me, nobody told me to be an idiot like that.

Ah, that damn ball, I still remember seeing for the first time the hatred in Iuri's eyes:

** Without saying a single word, Iuri comes towards me, raises his closed fisted hand and lands a right punch to my mouth. He is much shorter than me, but I deserve it so I don't discount or defend myself, I just accept the punch.

"You are trash, a scumbag, what you did in that girl's life is unforgivable, you are worse than shit!" the truth hurts, what you say is unforgivable.

"I know." That's all I can say.**

Mr. Gustam's voice takes me out of my thoughts.

"Well, you can go now," he turns away and walks back the way he came.

I go to my car, and as I get into it I take my cell phone from my jacket pocket and type the message that will notify everyone, press forward and the message goes to all the directors informing them that they should all be at the company at seven thirty in the morning. The presentation of the new president of the company will last half an hour.

I take a deep breath, I will not be able to take my wife for a walk, I will be eating myself up with anxiety and fear until it is time to meet Iuri.

I look at my wristwatch and it is five o'clock in the afternoon, she is still at the orphanage, I will buy ready-made food for us. Since today is Aya's child's birthday, she should not arrive until eight in the evening. I take a deep breath, tomorrow will be a long day.