Michelle

It's gotten late, and I'm still at the library.

Unhappiness is all around. I've barely gotten any work done because of my jittering nerves.

And it's all thanks to this big guy, Maddox.

He is feasting on the last pizza slice while sitting next to me in a chair to see my display. Personal space doesn't seem to matter to him. I'm so uncomfortable.

Why does he have to be in my space all the time?!

Timidly, I glance at the clock on the wall and repress a groan. It's late, and I should head home. It's relieving to finally be able to leave Maddox, but...

Instead of feeling achieved after a long hard working day, I'm anxious.

The work isn't halfway done! Why did the professor have to team me up with Maddox? He is lazy and does nothing for the team, while I like to stay ahead of my game!

Wait.

Game?

Jesus Christ, now I'm even starting to sound like Maddox!

"Are you holding silent conversations with yourself again?" Maddox asks while peeling a banana.

He is such a bastard, beautiful, albeit a bastard.

I don't dare to meet his eyes. He has already figured out that he frightens me; that's why he is close. Maddox is the type of person who likes to bask in other people's discomfort.

"I... I don't hold silent conversations with myself."

"Sure."

Sure?

"I mean it."

Maddox calmly takes another bite from his fruit. Smacking his tongue against his palate. I find it annoying, which is probably why he does it.

This guy wants to get under my skin, and his deep voice rings in my ears when I meet his eyes. "I have another question for you, Michelle."

I repress a sigh. "What is it?"

"Do all men frighten you, or is it just me?"

I stare at his muscles and unyielding expression, gulping. "W-what makes you think I'm afraid of men?"

He shrugs a massive shoulder. "You had no trouble talking to the librarian earlier. She is a woman... But you shuddered in your chair when that gang of teenage boys walked past. You also wore this priceless expression, as if you would shit in your pants."

Sadness wraps me up like a breakfast burrito while Maddox, the brutish bastard, laughs at his own words.

Rude.

Why does he have to be such an ass about everything he says?

"Its... It's not nice to make fun of someone for what they fear. You don't know what they have been through..."

Maddox smiles evilly from his chair, amused. "Ah, what have you gone through then? Let me guess: bullying?"

How can he say that so easily?!

I bite down on my lower lip to keep the tears at bay. I dislike being put on the spot like this. Maddox doesn't need to hear my backstory. Especially since he probably doesn't even really care.

Yet I whisper, "No, not bullying..."

Rape.

Abuse from my parents.

Loneliness.

Not that I would ever say that out loud...

Maddox leans his cheek against the palm of his hand, eyeing me. "Okay. I ask you again: what have you gone through then?"

I avert my eyes from him. "It's nothing..."

"Tell me."

Seriously?

What makes Maddox think he can just ask me anything? He isn't my friend or goddamn therapist! We hardly know each other!

"Its... It's none of your business."

"Sorry? What was that?" Maddox grins wolfishly. "Speak louder; I didn't hear you."

"I—"

"You're whispering again."

"I said it's none of your business!" I exclaim, teary-eyed and shaking out of both fear and irritation.

"Holy fuck!" Maddox lets out a sharp laugh. "You look like you're about to piss yourself again!"

My only response is to stare at him, a little breathless and with my heart hammering against my chest. Even my lips are quivering.

"You're such a weirdo..." Maddox shakes his head at me. "You don't possess a single assertive bone in that spine, do you?"

His words cut like knives.

I try not to show him my emotions and sit still, hoping he will get bored and stop harassing me.

But no chance in hell will this jackass leave me alone. Maddox isn't afraid of confrontation; that much is clear.

In fact, he seems to be in his element, as if he enjoys making me squirm in discomfort.

"Hey, I asked a question!"

I swallow tears. "Why are you always so rude?"

"Rude?" Maddox wrinkles his nose, lifting an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Despite the unsettling feeling in my chest, I glare at him. "Yes. You could be nicer... you're mean."

"Nicer? Pfft..." Maddox snorts. "And I'm not mean. I say things how they are. There is a difference! I'm honest."

I swallow thickly.

Maddox is a bully.

For some reason, his nostrils flare. "Whatever," Maddox rises to stretch and stands to his full height. "Grab your shit, and let's get out of here. I'm driving you home."

I blink. "You're driving me home?"

"Are you deaf? That's what I just said. I saw you walking to school today, so I'm giving you a ride. Where do you live?"

He saw me walking to school?

Did he know who I was already?

I have so many questions...

"Umm..."

"For fuck's sake..." Maddox sighs loudly. "Can you at least write it down in a text message for me?"

Can I actually do that without him laughing?

Hastily, I pick up my phone. I eagerly type down my address and give it to an impatient Maddox.

"Hmm, that's quite far from here..." Maddox comments and walks away from me without handing back my phone.

Uh.

Did Maddox just steal my phone?

I gape after his broad shoulders and solid muscle. He is like a mountain that grew legs and decided to start walking.

No way could I ever fight him for my phone. I just have to accept that I don't own one anymore.

Maddox suddenly stops. "You coming, or what?"

Oh.

OH.

I quickly grab my things and slip them into my bag while Maddox is whistling inside the library. Heads are turned his way, yet no one dares to interrupt the loud behemoth.

I hurry to catch up with him but slip over the newly polished floor. There is a squeak from my shoes, and I gasp. I expect to make a fool out of myself. But instead, I'm caught.

Finally feeling like I have myself under control again, I slowly lift my eyes to see Maddox staring at me, concern written all over his face.

His thick arms are holding me.

He saved me.

My insides flutter.

"Are you hurt?"

I shake my head with my heart pounding. "No."

"Good," Maddox helps me stand. "They should put down a sign that says the floor is slippery. Fucking idiots."

I smile. "There usually is a sign..."

"But not today, it seems. The janitor isn't doing a good job... Anyway, hand me your bag."

"W-why?"

"Because it's fucking heavy for you? You have stick arms."

Oh.

Does Maddox really wish to help me?

That's surprising...

I take off my bag silently, and Maddox hangs it over his brawny shoulder. He then grabs my hand. His touch gives birth to instant lightning, and I blush as he leads me toward the doors.

Calm down, Michelle.

Breathe.

"Do you live alone?" Maddox asks.

"Uh, no... I have two roommates." Two girls whose eyes will bulge out when they see a guy is taking me home—a handsome one at that. He might be a douche, but he is easy on the eyes.

"Good, because you're defenseless."

I remain silent, unsure of what to say.

Maddox continues. "I will be driving you home from the library every day this week. It's safer. Women shouldn't be wandering alone when it gets dark."

That's actually pretty thoughtful...

"Thank you."

He doesn't smile but sounds friendlier when he says, "No problem."

I follow him to his car—a black BMW and try not to laugh. It finally hit me that I'm about to be taken home by a guy. My roommates are going to freak out about this.

Michelle

"Do you live over there?" Maddox nods at a house up the street, his big hands holding the wheel in a death grip.

"Yes, but you don't have to drive the entire way..." I nervously laugh and face his stern expression.

"Why not?"

"Um... Because my roommates would freak out if they saw you."

He arches an eyebrow. "Fans of mine?"

"Fans?" What is he even talking about?

"Yeah, I'm pretty known around campus."

"Y-you are?"

"Yes."

That's some arrogance right there.

I swallow. "Well, that's not the reason."

"What is it then?"

"Uh…" I blush. "Nevermind."

He sighs. "Out with it, Michelle."

"Okay..." I shut my eyes. "I've never brought home a guy before, and they… My roommates… They are going to—"

I can't say it.

My heart is pounding too fast, and I'm embarrassed. Ciara and Zendra have told me I'm hopeless when it comes to guys, and bringing Maddox to the front of our door is probably...

Well.

A bad idea.

They will ridicule me and ask me if I have a crush on Maddox. I can feel the incoming bullying in my gut already. Zendra will probably say that working on this group project with Maddox is the closest I will ever get to dating a handsome guy.

They are probably right.

Guys aren't exactly lining up the street to date me.

Ciara and Zendra, however, are both beautiful and popular. They date guys hotter than hell while I'm this short, pimple-faced introvert who is too scared of men to make a movie. Like, I don't want to die alone, but...

I'm not pretty.

And my roommates make sure to remind me of that every single day.

"I'm coming inside."

I look up. "What?"

"You heard me."

Maddox has already parked the car, and before I can intervene, he opens the car door. He takes my bag, and I hastily follow him.

What is he doing?

"Uh..." As Maddox strides toward the porch, I'm jogging to keep up with him. He has very long legs. "You don't have to come inside... You can just leave now..."

Maddox peers down at me but doesn't say anything. Not one to listen, he opens the door and enters our hallway.

The door closes.

I hear footsteps.

Before I know it, Ciara swans into the hallway.

I have a bad feeling about this.

She stops by the wall, leaning her back against it with a dramatic gasp.

"Oh my, oh my," she presses a hand to her chest. Raking Maddox up and down before sending an evil smile my way. "Are you dating Maddox Daniels now, Michelle?"

I want to sink through the floor.

Ciara knows damn well I haven't dated anyone yet. She said those words as if I had choices. How humiliating. She is smirking now, knowing I'm embarrassed. She is basking in it, smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

Why does she have to be here?

Ciara will make Maddox think I'm even more of a nerd...

Tears are prickling behind my eyelids already.

The situation worsens when Zendra joins in on the fun with her mouth falling open the second her eyes land on Maddox.

"Well, hello there..." Zendra's heated gaze rakes up Maddox. "I didn't know our roomie was friends with Dashing Devils quarterback. How do you two know each other?"

Quarterback?

Oh-my-god, as if I weren't already uncomfortable! Of course, Maddox Daniels is a goddamn quarterback!

I lift my eyes, expecting Maddox to smirk, but to my surprise, Maddox is smiling. Something tells me it's a fake one, though.

"Michelle and I are best friends... In fact—"

My world screeches to a halt when Maddox picks me up.

What. The. Fuck.

The guy is seriously strong!

I've never been carried by a guy before, yet my legs instinctively wrap around his tapered waist. His cologne wafts over me, and my heart pounds frantically when he presses his lips to mine.

Holy shit.

HOLY SHIT!

Maddox Daniels is kissing me!!!

And not a little peck on the lips. No, Maddox forces my lips apart with his tongue and full-on kisses away my last remaining brain cells.

Oh-my-god...

Maddox is talented. The kiss is hot and passionate. The taste of his tongue makes little goosebumps prickle over my skin. I said I couldn't stand the guy, but wow.

I'm melting in his arms.

Electricity and sparks fly between us, and I'm close to begging him not to let go when he pulls away his lips.

My heart is racing.

I'm out of breath.

I stare at him.

He stares at me, looking... Surprised?

Or is that my imagination?

Wait, is that a blush?

We keep blinking at each other like idiots. My hands are resting on his muscular shoulders while his arms are wrapped around me. Yet none of us are making a move to create distance between us.

I'm not climbing down from his embrace.

He is not putting me down.

I stay in his arms.

Eventually, Zendra clears her throat and pulls Ciara into the kitchen. I catch a glimpse of their faces before they leave—they are both gaping like goldfish.

Once inside the kitchen, I hear Ciara whisper-yelling. "Holy-fucking-shit, Michelle is dating the hottest guy on campus! How the flipping fuck did she manage that?!"

"I know!" Zendra whisper-yells back. "She is so damn lucky!"

I swallow at their words, daring to glimpse at Maddox.

He is still repeatedly blinking at me as if trying to process what is happening. Which makes little sense seeing he was the one who kissed me, not the other way around!

What is going on inside that thick, beautiful head?!

I gaze into his eyes.

He gazes into mine.

After a few seconds, he opens his mouth. "Where is your room?"

Why isn't he putting me down?

"Um..." I wet my lips. They still feel swollen from the kiss. "It's the last one down the hall to the left. It's a door with stickers on it."

"Got it."

He carries me down the corridor without a word. My arms are still hugging the thick column of his neck. I'm weak in the legs, and Maddox uses his elbow to open the door.

Soon I'm dropped off on my bed.

I lift my chin to stare at Maddox, baffled when he closes the door.

I expected him to leave... But those blue-blue eyes are scanning my almost-empty room.

Yeah, I'm broke.

I let him take everything in before daring to talk. "W-why did you kiss me out there?"

He lifts an eyebrow. "Aren't you single?"

My skin burns, and I shyly brush my brown hair down my shoulder. "That's not the point..."

He shrugs. "I saw a perfect opportunity."

Opportunity?

What?

Did he just use me?!

"What opportunity?" I demand, suddenly no longer shy but fuming over his caveman tendencies.

I might not be yelling, but my heart is thundering inside my chest. And my anger is traveling through my veins.

"I don't date, but... I think I could benefit from you being my fake girlfriend, Michelle. Gold diggers would stay clear of me. It would be nice."

Laughter erupts from me. "No, those girls would try harder to flirt with you! Girls would… They would look at me and see there is no competition!"

He laughs at me and hands me a wolfish grin. "True... They would look at you, see that you're as flat as a plank, and try to get me."

Anger heats my face. "That's rude!"

"But entirely true, isn't it?"

I blush and avert my eyes. "You're such a jockhole."

"Jockhole?" He snorts. "Maybe, but do you want to go along with this plan? I mean, looking around your room... You don't have much stuff, and my wallet is fat."

"Really? You're trying to buy me?"

"I could buy you lunch every day."

My stomach gurgles and Maddox bursts out laughing. It lights up his face, and I experience butterflies. Why? He is such a jerk.

"Why would you need a fake girlfriend?"

"Mostly because of my parents," Maddox replies while studying my empty walls without even looking at me. "But also because I think some girls at school would stay away..."

So he doesn't want girls asking him out?

Why?

Ugh, I bet he is one of those sleep-with-them-and-leave-them guys.

"I see..."

"So... Do we have a deal?"

"Well..." I palm my neck and consider his offer. "It would be nice to... Have a decent meal every day."

"Yeah?"

"But I don't know..."

"Come on," Maddox urges. "It will be easy food for you... And it's not like kissing me; maybe hugging me is dangerous. You didn't feel anything when we did it, did you?"

I stare at him—he stares back. And while I would like to believe there is no meaning behind his question, I can't help but feel like he is ACTUALLY wondering if I felt something.

Which I didn't...

He is good-looking. That's the only reason I felt some flutters when he kissed me, not because we have chemistry. God no! I'm not crazy enough to think we do. Jockholes and quiet book nerds don't get along.

Maddox and Michelle are like snow and salt.

"O-of course not!" I laugh. It sounds forced, even to me, and I hope Maddox doesn't notice.

But to my surprise, he is laughing too.

"Yeah, I thought so! There was absolutely no chemistry at all! No lightning, sparks, or wanting to rip off your clothes, and... Yeah... It was just an emotionless kiss."

Instead of feeling angry, I'm relieved. Maddox would never go out with me—at least I can stop fantasizing about that now.

"Entirely emotionless indeed."

We smile at each other awkwardly, but the staring soon becomes heated.

My chest constricts.

I wet my lips.

My heart pounds faster.

I silently study the column of Maddox's neck and let my gaze travel to his muscular arms hiding underneath his hoodie. He is so strong. Powerful.

Maddox stares at my lips, then down at my chest and hips. He runs his tongue over his lips and—

That's when I clap my hands!

"You should probably go!"

Maddox returns to reality. "Right..." he moves for the door but turns around to meet my eyes again. There is a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Same time tomorrow at the library. Do not stand me up, okay?"

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Maddox

I need a freaking doctor.

Something is seriously wrong with my head. Did I hit it or something? Possible brain damage from birth that didn't show up until now? I don't know what is happening to me, but I'm acting weird!

I don't date.

I don't do relationships.

I don't want a WAG, a partner, or any romance in my life.

Most girls are bloodsuckers and only out after your money. I know that, and I stay clear of the other gender.

I should focus on the game, focus on the goddamn football, and not fall for any distractions. And girls are fucking distractions!

Yes, I know this better than anyone.

So why am I as hard as a rock in the shower while thinking about kissing Michelle fucking Henriksson?????!!!!!

Why her?

WHY!

I punch the wall and groan at the pain. "FUCK!!!"

"Will you please keep it down?!" Jason's voice comes from the other side of the wall because, let's face it, we live in misery. Paper-thin walls and no fucking privacy. The frathouse is a goddamn joke and sometimes a running parody.

I groan, and Jason sighs. "Maddox, I've said it once, and I will say it again. Keep it down, will you? I'm trying to focus here."

I punch the wall. "No, I'm going through something!"

"Just wank it out already, amigo!" Jason shouts back. "You've been saying 'Michelle' over and over again, groaning and then not finishing your business. Just rub one out."

This fucking linebacker! I swear I will kill him, fucking kill him!

It doesn't matter that we are best friends—Jason is dead to me!

"Shut up, Deluca!" I growl back at the perverted idiot. "And stop listening through the wall like a creep!"

"I have a stomach ache... I can't leave the toilet even if I wanted to. There is no choice but to listen to your pathetic voice."

"This idiot..." I mutter to myself. "I can't do it now, thanks to you!"

"Why not?"

"Because you're listening!"

"Go into your room and lock the door."

"I will, but not to masturbate!"

"Sure, amigo... And I will not look up Michelle Henriksson's online profile while you're not masturbating."

Jesus fucking Christ!

Why does Jason always have to be so goddamn annoying?! I could murder him and bury his body in the garden!

"DO NOT FUCKING LOOK HER UP!"

"Why, you shy or something, Maddox? Everyone wants to be with our heartbreaker quarterback, but you turn everyone down. I want to know your type, Maddox. Learn what makes you hard in the shower."

Hard in the shower?!

My type?!

"Michelle is not my type!"

"Si, I don't know about that... You have been moaning her name for about forty minutes now, and I'm getting more and more convinced to name my own daughter Michelle..."

"Jason..." I hiss. "I. Will. Murder. You. In. Your. Sleep."

"Empty threats... Empty threats..."

"I'm being serious!"

"Oh, Michelle Henriksson is pretty darn cute... Rosy cheeks, yeah? Very delicate and small too. Ha-ha. You like that, Maddox? Who would have known—the guy actually has taste."

"I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU, DELUCA!"

Jason burst out laughing, and I grunt in annoyance. Some best friend he is—the dude needs to have his head evaluated if he thinks it's okay to listen to me masturbate AND look up my inspiration.

Jesus fucking Christ, I'm even admitting it myself.

There are way hotter girls than Michelle, yet all I see is her doe-eyes, sweet smile, and delicate hands.

Am I out of my damn mind?!

"GAH, I hate myself!"

I kick the wall and wrap myself in a towel. My cock is still painfully hard, and it's because I'm at odds with myself.

I can't finish myself off.

No.

I have to resist it!

It feels wrong to touch myself while thinking about Michelle Henriksson of all freaking people. She doesn't even like me! That little thing is terrified of me, and not even a little! She couldn't sit still when I looked at her!

I angrily enter my room and throw myself down on my bed. My arm hangs down to the floor, and I sigh.

"I shouldn't text her... I know better than that... I do... But..."

I pick up my phone, breathing hard while staring at the screen.

This is so weird...

What am I doing?

I have only texted girls to tell them my address before a hookup. Other than that, I don't text with girls. I don't call them either. Neither do I date, yet I'm already typing a message to Michelle.

I can't believe this...

But I also can't stop myself.

Me: Don't stand me up tomorrow, Henriksson.

I watch the message turn to "seen" and feel like puking when I realize I'm actually smiling. FUCKING SMILING while texting a girl. Seriously, where did my balls go?

Michelle: You inserted your own number into my phone?

Who wouldn't? I can't risk Michelle standing me up again. I had to put in my number there... Not because I like her or anything, but to show male dominance! Yes!

There is no other reason!

Me: Yes.

Michelle: And your earlier words, is that a threat?

A threat?

Is she serious?

Does Michelle honestly think everything I do is to scare other people? Like, sure, I think it's fun, but...

Me: Not a threat.

Michelle: You promise?

Me: Yes. Have a good night, Michelle.

I patiently wait for her response like a total sissy. It's been less than twenty-four hours, and I'm fucking whipped—after one kiss and her feeling up my muscles like I was hot shit.

I rake my fingers through my wet hair. "I'm such a loser..."

My phone vibrates, and my eyes find my screen like a hawk. I've never moved this fast in my entire life.

I unlock my screen and...

Michelle: Good night, Maddox.

My lips curl into this stupid smile, and then I smack myself straight in the face to knock it off.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I whisper with growing panic. "I need to see a therapist or something..."

I'm worried about my health. My heart is fluttering. My pulse is ticking against my jaw. There is a buzzing in my stomach, and I swear that isn't normal. Am I dying?"

Are these the warning signs of a heart attack?

I hope not.

I get underneath the covers and get comfortable. There is a new message from the pixie girl herself.

What could she want?

I click on the message with a weird feeling in my chest. My heart is thumping, which is so freaking weird.

Michelle: Thank you for driving me home today. I appreciate it. The rain came when you left, and I would have been drenched. It was very thoughtful of you.

That familiar flutter travels through me again, yet I accept it.

I might act like a hardass most of the time, but... I knew it was going to rain after checking the weather forecast. That's why I offered to drive the tiny one home.

But I'm not usually thoughtful, and Michelle better not expect me to act like it either...

I quickly type back a message.

Me: You're welcome.

I sigh heavily while tucking my phone underneath my pillow. "What is it with this girl that just makes me do stupid shit... Fuck... She does weird things to my head..."

Another groan leaves my lips. I'm about to have a headache. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I couldn't possibly be falling in love, right? Pfft. I'm Maddox. I'm cold as a rock, and the last thing this could be is the beginning of something.

Romance is for pussies.