“Aurora..”

The way Noah said my name made my stomach sink before he had even finished the sentence

I stood in front of him in my bedroom, fingers clenched so tightly around the hem of my satin camisole that my knuckled ached. Downstairs, the bass from my brother’s party vibrated through the floorboards as laughter drifted up the staircase with someone shouting over a drinking game

But none of it…none of it reached me, not really. Not when the only person I had wanted to be with, wanted here more than amything or anyone, was looking at like I had confessed to a crime.

“I can’t,” the words barely registered as I stared at him, my thoughts stalled.

“What…do you..”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, “Aurora, don’t make this harder than it already is.”

Harder?

Harder?

My lips parted, but nothing came out. I had spent weeks rehearsing this, months, years if I was being honest. Ever since I was fourteen and Noah Hayes had smiled at me after teaching me how to ride a bike, ever since he started ruffling my hair and calling me Rory, ever since I had convined myself that I was finally old enough…

He would see me, really see me more than just a friend. More than someone he had grown up with, more than just Aurora Lancaster.

Tonight was suppose to be that night, instead, here I was standing, feeling like a fool.

“I don’t…” my voice cracked as I gulped hard, “I don’t understand.”

His gaze softened, and it made it a thousand times worse than it already was. “You’ve always been sweet.”

Sweet

This was clearly being added to part of the words I hated now, because the last thing I wanted was for him to think I was sweet, just the thought of it left a tumbling on my stomach.

“We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember, and you’ve truly grown into an incredible woman.”

Then why?

“You deserve someone who’ll…”

“No,” I shook my head, “don’t do that.” He frowned, and I let out a shaky humorless laugh, “don’t softens it, just tell me.”

My words were met with silence, a painful long silence, and I directed myself to hold his gaze even when my eyes burned.

“I asked you here because…” I inhaled sharply, “because I trust you.”

He nodded once, “I know.”

“I asked you to be my first, Noah,” the confession hung between us, heavy and humiliating. “I wanted it to be you,” my voice was barely above a whisper now, “I’ve wanted it to you for years.”

“Aurora,” his jaw tightened.

“I thought maybe,” I laughed again, though tears blurred my vision. “Maybe you felt it too.”

His gaze drifted from me and that hurt more than if he had laughed. “I don’t.” two simple words and some how they shattered fifteen years of hope.

I stared at him. “So that’s it.”

“That’s it,” he answers, shaking his head as the room suddenly felt too warm, too small, almost as if the walls were closing in around me.

“I’ve never looked at you like that,” something inside of me splintered.

Never, not once, not even a little.

“I care about you,” he continues carefully, “God, of course I do.” My throat tightened. “But not the way you want.”

My heart pounded against my ribs so hard that it almost hurt. “So…”I whispered, “all those years.”

He gave me a small sad smile, “I thought you knew.”

I didn’t, I didn’t know. Because every birthday text, every hug, smile, every single moment I had replayed over and over in my head…every moment…apparently, I had imagined all of it.

“I thought,” I swallowed the lump in my throat, “I thought if I waited till we were done with school, and older and..”

“You’ll always be my best friend, Aurora.”

There it was, the sentence I had never wanted to hear. I wasn’t Aurora or a woman he could want, I was simple just his childhood best friend.

I looked down before he could see the first tear slip free, how pathetic. I had invited the man I had longed for most of my life into my bedroom during my brother’s party, I had confessed, offfered him something I had guarded because I wanted him and only him to have it.

And he had rejected me, and even with how desperate he was trying to be gentle with his words, it did nothing to quench the hurt that tore into my skin.

“I’m sorry, Aurora,” I laughed bitterly.

“I wish you wouldn’t say that.”

“Aurora.”

“No,” I wipped at my cheeks with the heel of my hand, “it’s okay.”

It wasn’t, it would never be okay, but I couldn’t let him see how completely he had just broken me.

“I’ll get over it,” the lie tasted like ash.

He hesistated, “I think we should just forget tonight ever happened.”

Forget? As if I could erase years of loving him because he was the only one I could picture a future with, as if tomorrow I would wake up and my heart wouldn’t remember.

“I…” my voice trembled, “yeah.”

He studied me for another second, “I don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

Too late

“It won’t be, Noah.”

Another lie

“Take care of yourself, Rory.”

Rory

For years that nickname had made my heart flutter, now it felt like a knife sliding between my ribs. He reached for the doorknob and for one desperate, humiliating second, I wanted to stop him, to tell him I would take anything.

A chance, date , kiss, even false hope

Instead I stood there, frozen while he opened the door, the music from downstairs poured into my room, voices laughter, life moving on without me

He glanced back one last time. “I’m sorry,”then walked out.

The soft click of my bedroom door echoed louder than the music downstairs, and I stared at it long after he was gone, waiting, hoping he would come back.

That he would burst through the door laughing and tell me he had been scared, and that he would kiss me and tell me he had loved me all along.

The door never opened, it remained shut, just like every possibility I had spent half my life dreaming about. My knees gave out as I slowly slid to the floor beside my bed, pressing a trembling hand againt my mouth to smother the sob threatening to escape, my heart broken into different pieces.

Eventually the tears began to fall even with how hard I tried to keep them in, and now it was hard to stop. No matter how many times I wiped them, more followed.

At this very moment, I felt pathetic, hating the fact that I was here on my bedroom floor bawling my eyes out.

I dragged the back of my hand across my face, forcing myself to my feet, my legs unsteady like they belonged to someone else. I needed water, fresh air, anything.

Reaching for my bedroom door, I pulled it open. “God, that was painful to listen to,” a voice stopped me cold, and my head snapped toward the end of the hallway.

Christian Beaumont stood at the opposite end of the hallway, one shoulder against the wall as though he had been there long enough to get comfortable. His sleeves were rolled to his forearms,, one hand rested inside the pocket of his tailored trouser while the other held a glass of whiskey.

His expression was blank, there was no sympathy or amusement, simple..disappointment.

Heat flooded my face. “You ..”

His eyes swept over me, mascara streaked beneath my eyes, trembling lips and tears I had failed to wipe away. “You look exactly how I expected, I guess that’s what fifteen years of delusion looks like.”

My stomach twisted. “You were listening.”

“Heard enough, I mean, it was hard not to, you weren’t so subtle with your tone.” He shrugs his shoulders, while giving me the look of someone inspecting a damage car after an accident.

His words echoed in my heard, knowing he had heard enough to hear me offer myself to another man, getting rejected and hearing every pathetic word I had spoken.

My humiliation doubled. “You could have simply walked away.”

“I did consider it,” his voice remained calm, “then the curiosity won, right after you asked him to be your first,” his words felt like a slap on the cheek. “And then him rejecting you, damn, That must have hurt like a bitch.”

I winced, but his gaze doesn’t soften, not even a tiny little bit. My throat tightened. “You have no right…”

“No right?” a humorless laugh escaped him, “does Lucas know you dragged a man into your bedroom, confessed you have been fantasizing about him for years, then offered him your virginity as if that would make him love you.”

My breath ceased as he layed out what the last ten minutes had been in my life, and him involving my brother. The last thing I wanted was Lucas to know about this, or his best friend going to tattle about it to him, especially when that said friend was Christian.

“Can..you just stop.”

“Why,” his seethed quietly, something that scared me even more, the sheer malice in his tone causing me to stumble a bit. “Because hearing it sounds uglier than living it?”

My eyes burned. “I said stop.”

His jaw flexed, then he moved, one slow step. And instinctively, I took one back, then another, retreating again. He never hurried, never broke eye contact and kept making his way towards me, forcing me back with nothing more than his presence.

My shoulders stiffened as my back collided with the wall, there was nowhere else to go. Christian stopped only inches away, close enough for me to catch the faint scent of whiskey and expensive cologne, enough that I had to tilt my head back to meet his eyes.

He rested one hand against the wall beside my head, not touching me or trapping me, making it painfully obviously how easily he could. His gaze dropped breifly to the tear clinging to my cheeks before returning to my eyes.

“You were practically begging him,” his tone never rose, “ready to hand him every ounce of your dignity.” The words hit somewhere deep inside me.

Then his head tilted ever so slightly, a predaror’s smile spreading across his face as though he had found something worth hunting, making my stomach knot. “But then again, if you are so desperate to loose your virginity to anyone who so much as show you a little bit of affection, why don’t you be a little whore and give it to me.”

Without thinking about my hand shot up, striking his face as hard as I could muster, the sting of the impact reverberated through my palm as the force of the slap knock his head to the side. The sharp crack was swallowed almost instantly by the pounding music from downstairs.

My eyes widened

Oh God

What had I just done?

My pulse thundered in my ears as I stared at Christian, waiting for the explosion, the anger and for him to grab me. Anything.

Instead…

He was perfectly still, and then slowly, almost lazily, his tongue swept across the inside of his cheek where I had struck him, his jaw flexed once before he turned his head back toward me.

When his eyes met mine, my stomach dropped, there wasn’t an ounce of fury in them, only a dark glint and amusment. A slow, unnerving smile crept across his lips as though I had just done something that entertained him far more than it offended him.

The sight sent a chill crawling down my spine

Who smiles after being slapped.

Christian Beaumont, obviously.

I gulped hard, unshaken to tear my eyes away from him. How had Lucas been friends with someone like this for so many years, they couldn’t have been more different.

My brother wore his heart on his sleeve, laughed too loudly and forgave too easily, always seeing the good in people. While Christian…he was like a wolf surrounding its wounded prey.

There was something deeply and irrevocably wrong with him, which was why the fact the wasn’t angry scared me far more than if he had been.

Without a word, he closed the little distance between us. My breath hitched as his hand rose, long fingers settling around my throat, but there was no pressure or pain as they simply rested there, anything but warm and impossibly steady, as though he already knew I wouldn’t dare move.

Every instinct screamed at me to step back, but I couldn’t, not when his thumb began drifting upward, brushing across my lower lips with agonizing slowness, the featherlike touch sent a violent shiver racing the length of my spine.

He leaned in until I could feel the warmth of his breath ghosting across my face, my chest rose and fell in uneven breaths. My eyes slipped shut as my pulse hammered against the hand resting at my throat as I waited for..something. Anything.

Seconds stretches into an eternity, then just as suddenly, his hand fell away, the crushing weight of his presence disappearing, and my eyes flew open.

Christian had already taken a step back, as though nothing had happened, as he lifted his glass of whiskey, taking an unhurried sip, never once breaking eye contact with me.

A slow, sinister smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth

He finished the drink in one gulp before dragging the same thumb that had brushed my lips across his own, wiping away the last drop of amber liquor.

His eyes gleamed with something dark, something I was certain I never wanted to understand

Without another word, he turned and walked away, only then did I realise I had been holding my breath. It escaped in a shaky rush as I pressed a trembling hand against my chest, willing my racing heart to slow.

Damn you Christian Beaumont

The sound of my phone ringing was what brought me out of my sleep as a groan leaves my lips, my eyelids flutters open, a bit heavy and very much reluntant.

Immediately the sunlight poured through the open gap in my curtains, striking me right in the face and making me hiss under my breath as I squeeze my eyes shut again, burying my face deeper into the pillow.

Five more minutes, I just needed five more minutes

But whoever was on the other line was relentless, as my phone continued to ring. With another exhausted sigh, I forced my eyes open again, reaching for it, only to halt my movement as my body goes completely rigid.

I was laying in my bed

Every trace of sleep vanished almost instantly, and I shot upright so fast that I felt my head begin to spin. My gaze darted wildly around my room before settling back on the slight rumbled bed beneath me.

No

Last night came rushing back in broken piece, Noah, Christian. The rejection and humiliation.

After that, I had stumbled back into my room just to collapse at the foot of my bed, crying until there was nothing left inside me. I remembered hugging my knees to my chest, refusing to move, refusing to think and then..

Nothing

My brow hitched together when I don’t remember climbing into bed or pulling the blankets over myself, and it didn’t helps that I had remembered forgoting to lock my bedroom door with the number of people that had been present last night.

A fresh wave of unease settled over me

Throwing the covers aside, I hurriedly looked myself over and relief washed through me when I realized I was still wearing the same dress from last night, every button exactly where I had left it.

I released a shaky breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding, Lucas, It had to have been Lucas. He must’ve found me asleep and carried me into bed.

The thought settled some of the panic twisting inside my chest, though an odd feeling lingered at the back of my mind, one I couldn’t quite explain.

My phone rang again, dragging me from my thoughts, reminding me of what had woken me in the first place. I reached across my nightstand, my fingers fumbling blindly until they closed around my phone. Bringing it up to my face, I squinted at the bright screen.

Jade Davis, my bestfriend since diapers

I dragged a hand through my tangled hair before clearing the thickness from my throat and answering the call, “Hello.”

“Heeey!” she practically sang into my ear, her voice bursting with enough energy to wake the entire neighborhood, “So, how did it go? Did he blow your mind away, did you and Noah spend the whole night being all lovey dovey and cuddling while he swept you off your feet. Tell me everything! I’m literally dying of curiosity over here.”

My throat bobbed, the memory of Noah’s cold rejection slammed into me with brutal force as the tears I had barely managed to keep at bay burned the backs of my eyes once more.

Not now, please…not now.

I swallowed hard, willing the lump in my throat to disappear, but It didn’t.

“Hello?” She asked after a beat of silence, and the when I still couldn’t bring myself to answer, she gasped, “Oh my God…” her voice dropped into an exaggerated whisper, “don’t tell me he’s still in bed with you right now, that would be so swazz…but honestly,” she laughed, “I absolutely love that for you.”

Biting down on the inside of my lips so hard that it stung, I blinked rapidly against the tears threatening to spill over.

“Aurora,” this time her voice softened, the excitement from moments ago fading into concern, and when I didn’t answer, she called my name again, “Aurora, what’s wrong?”

My throat tightens painfully as I dragged a shaky hand through my hair. “He…” I whispered as the word caught, and I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing myself to say it, “he..he turned me down.”

Silence settled between us for a second or two. “What,” disbelief evident in her voice, “what do you mean he turned you down?”

A bitter laugh threatened to escape, but it died before it could leave my lips. “I told him how I felt,” my voice cracked, “and he… he flat out rejected me,” swallowing around the ache in my throat, “He said he sees me as nothing more than a friend.”

“Ouch,” Jade muttered. “That’s probably the worst way he could’ve put it,” then she fell quiet for a moment before speaking again, confusion lacing every word, “I could’ve sworn he felt something for you, Aurora. I’ve seen the way Noah looks at you like you’re his whole world. I just I don’t understand why he would reject you.”

A humorless laugh escaped me, “You were clearly seeing things that weren’t there,” I said quietly, “because he turned me down without a second thought.”

Silence settled between us again which only lasted for a few seconds but somehow felt much longer. Then Jade spoke again, her voice was gentle.

“Are you okay?” I let out a tired, humorless laugh.

“Considering I bawled my eyes out for nearly the entire night?” I said, staring blankly at the ceilings, “yeah, I’m fine.”

“Shit,” she muttered, guilt dripping from every syllable, “ If I had known this was going to happen, I never would’ve pushed you into confessing your feelings to him.”

I shook my head instinctively, even though she couldn’t see me. “It’s not your fault,” I said softly, “I mean it. It was probably for the best that I finally told him how I felt, at least now I know what he really thinks of me.”

Another silence followed, then she spoke with quiet determination, “You know what, I’m booking the earliest flight back.”

My eyes widened, “No, No, you’re not.”

“I’m not leaving you to deal with a broken heart by yourself.”

“And I’m not letting you cut short the vacation you’ve spent months planning with your family,” I shot back, “you’ve been looking forward to this for forever.”

“But…”

“No,” I interrupted gently, “I’m going to be okay.” I took a slow breath before continuing, “Just enjoy your time with your family, I know how much you’ve missed them, and I know how hard it’s been not getting to see them as often as you wanted,” smiling sadly to myself, “they need you right now more than I do.”

After a long moment, she let out a defeated sigh. “Fine,” relented, “but you have to keep me updated on how you’re doing, okay? I don’t want you wallowing in your feelings, not by yourself.”

A small smile tugged at my lips. “I’ll try not to.”

Before she could reply, I heard a woman’s voice faintly through the phone. “Jade Maria Bennett!” It sounded like her mother calling from somewhere in the house and Jade groaned.

“Coming!” she called back before returning her attention to me, “I’ve got to go. And Aurora?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t forget to keep me updated, okay?”

“I will.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Good,” a second later, the line went dead.

Lowering the phone from my ear, I let out a quiet sigh, glancing at the screen one last time, my eyes widened slightly. 12:07 p.m. I had slept through the entire morning.

Letting out another weary sigh, I tossed my phone onto the bed before falling backward onto the mattress, my gaze settling on the ceiling above. The dried tracks of last night’s tears still clung to my cheeks, making my skin feel tight and uncomfortable.

For a long moment, I simply lay there, letting the silence settle around me, then my stomach growled loudly, making me grimace. Right…I’d barely eaten anything last night.

With considerably less enthusiasm than I’d have liked, I pushed myself upright, my body ached with exhaustion as I dragged myself to my feet and shuffled toward the bathroom, hoping a shower might wash away at least some of the heaviness weighing me down.

I padded into the bathroom, flicking on the light before stopping in front of the vanity, and the woman staring back at me looked nothing like the one who had spent hours getting ready yesterday.

My hazel eyes were puffy and rimmed with red, evidence of a night spent crying. Faint mascara stains lingered beneath them despite my best efforts to wipe them away before falling asleep, my hair was a tangled mess, strands sticking out in every direction, while my lips had lost the rosy tint they had worn the night before.

I looked miserable

My gaze slowly dropped to the fitted burgundy dress clinging to my body and a bitter sigh escaped me, I’d spent nearly two hours picking it out, trying on dress after dress before settling on this one, even chosen a matching lace bra and thong, convincing myself that maybe, just maybe Noah would finally see me as more than his best friend.

God

The thought alone made me want to crawl into a hole

I felt pathetic, like a girl who had built castles in the sky only to watch them crumble before she’d even stepped inside.

Shaking the thoughts away, I peeled the dress off, tossing it into the laundry basket before stepping into a warm shower. The hot water washed away the remnants of last night’s makeup, and after quickly washing my hair and body, I wrapped myself in a fluffy towel.

A few minutes later, I changed into an oversized cream hoodie and a pair of gray cotton shorts before brushing my hair into a loose ponytail.

Leaving my room, I stepped into the quiet hallway, the house was unusually silent, causing me to frown.

Was Lucas even home? It was the weekend, so he should’ve been unless he’d made other plans.

“Lucas..” I called, nothing. “Lucas!” still no answer.

Figuring he was probably in his room with his headphones on, I headed in that direction. Halfway down the hall, my stomach let out another loud growl.

“Okay, okay,” I muttered.

Food first

Changing direction, I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen. The moment I reached for the refrigerator handle, a sticky note caught my attention.

Had to step out for a bit. You were sound asleep, so I didn’t want to wake you.

Breakfast’s in the microwave in case you wake up hungry.

Love, Lucas.

A small smile found its way onto my face, Typical Lucas

Opening the microwave, I found a plate of fluffy scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, buttered toast, and roasted breakfast potatoes. My stomach practically cheered.

I warmed it up before taking a seat at the kitchen island, eating slowly as the comforting meal settled the emptiness in my stomach. For the first time since waking up, I felt a little better.

When I’d finished, I rinsed my plate and decided a cup of coffee was exactly what I needed if I wanted to stay awake for the rest of the day. I had just pressed the button on the coffee machine when a dull thud echoed from upstairs causing me to freeze.

My brows knitted together, I thought the house was empty

The sound came again. Turning off the coffee machine, I slowly made my way toward the staircase.

“Lucas?” I called, climbing the first few steps. No answer.

A knot of unease tightened in my stomach. “Lucas?” I called again, louder this time.

I climbed the rest of the stairs cautiously, my footsteps slow against the hardwood floor. The sound came once more, it was faint this time, but unmistakable.

My gaze followed it to the guest bedroom at the far end of the hallway, the door stood slightly ajar, and a strange feeling settled in the pit of my stomach.

Lucas had said he’d stepped out, so who was in there?

Curiosity got the better of me

I found myself moving quietly down the hallway, each step slower than the last. My heartbeat quickened as I drew closer, my eyes never leaving the narrow gap between the door and its frame.

When I reached it, I stopped, pressing my palm against the cool wall beside the doorway, I leaned in carefully, my breath caught somewhere between curiosity and apprehension as I cautiously peered through the opening.

A woman’s voice rasped from the room. “I thought you said you weren’t in the mood.”

Then a low, unmistakable voice that answered sent a chill through me. “Maybe I changed my mind.”

Christian

My heart stumbled as I froze outside the door. What was he still doing here? Why hadn’t he left already? My brother wasn’t even home, so there was no reason for him to still be in the house.

A strange unease settled over me as I wondered how long he had planned on staying.

I slowly sauntered toward the opening and peered inside, the sight of him standing there with his back to me made my stomach tighten. My breath caught before I could stop it, as my eyes drifted over the dark ink stretching across his back to a tattoo I had never seen before.

From where I stood, I couldn’t make out the design clearly, only the faint outline of it disappearing across his skin. Another thing I didn’t know about him.

“I can’t help it,” the unfamiliar woman said, her voice carrying a teasing edge. “It’s hard saying no to you, It’s hard resisting you.”

Christian’s voice followed, calm and infuriatingly confident. “Then quit complaining, and do the fuck what you are supposed to do. Less talking, more sucking.”

My stomach begins to heat, and I swallow hard as my heart races. I’m aware I shouldn’t look, that I should turn around, walk away, and retreat to my room. But my feet remain rooted to the floor, completely betrayed by my own hesitation.

He has his back to me, his arms stretched above him as he grips the bar between the bedposts, his hips are moving, and her groans are getting louder.

The seductive flex of every strong muscle that runs from his back down to his tight ass and thighs makes his body incredibly sexy, even when viewed from a distance. And I hated it, hated that someone as infuriating as him could look so effortlessly captivating without even trying.

His grip tightened around the iron bar, his knuckles turning pale as the tension in his arms became more noticeable. Then I caught sight of her. A glimpse of blond hair, bobbing in front of him

My brows furrowed as confusion settled in, if he was going to do something like this, why hadn’t he simply shut the door. Did he not care who saw?

Yet here you are watching them. My consciousness pricks. I shake the thought off my head, deciding it was best to leave instead of standing here looking like a creep.

"Fuck. ” he groans, snapping my attention back to him.

I watch as he lifts her up, taking her chin between his fingers, and lifts her face toward him while he leans down. “Aren’t you an obedient little whore,” abruptly, he slaps her cheek, and I expected her to lash out at the assault, but instead she seems to be welcoming whatever this was.

Judging from their conversation and the way she didn’t seem to mind that he had hit her on the face, this wasn’t a first time thing.

Furrowing my brows as Christian stared at her body as though he treasured it and the pleasure it brought him, running his fingers down the slope of her nude back and all the way up her spine. The way she moaned aloud, her eyes closed, her mouth forming the perfect O, or the way he lifted his arm and smacked her ass with a loud crack.

I was definitely unprepared for it all, and she seemed to relishing on the sensation of his hand against her bare skin, and for some reason I felt my face flush at this

"I want to hear you,” he demands, his voice dark and low. “ Do not try to stop it, I want to hear your fucking screams, puttana.”

She nods, but he obviously doesn't like it, so he grabs her by the neck and presses her face on the mattress.

And as if i was thrown into an horror movie, Christian’s head lifts up, facing towards the direction of the door. My blood starts to run cold the moment our eyes meet. I'm motionless as his eyes hold me there, embarrassed that I've been caught yet unable to move.

He tightens his grip behind her neck, pressing her face deeper against the mattress while a smile twitches at the corners of his lips, One that felt completely predatory, hitting me in the most primal of ways.

My breathing hitched in my throat and I knew I looked like a deer caught in the headlights right now, my face turned the unattractive colour of a beetroot.

Okay, this was my cue to leave. I probably would have to wash my eyes off of everything I was seeing and try to forget ever seeing this. But something deep down tells me it wasn’t going to be as easy as I think it will be.

"Don't you dare move,” he says, and I’m unsure who he’s talking to. Her…or me?

"Master,” The woman moans.

"Stay right there.” He says before ramming into her with no warning. His eyes roll closed, every muscle in his chest pulled taut, his hips slamming into her with sharp, hard thrusts as if he’s punishing her, not caring whether he hurts her.

A sly grin tugs at his lips as he opens his eyes, sweat glistening on his face in the low light. His dark iris reflects every evil conduct and unethical intent and for some crazy weird reason, I feel a wetness begin to settled between my thigh.

This was crazy, all this was crazy.

I take a step back as a flood of shame sweeps over me and another, until I manage to finally shake the spell and turn away, then dash back down the hallway to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me, the coffee long forgotten.

The words blur together as I turned another page, then another, my eyes dutifully scanning every sentence while my mind remained hopelessly elsewhere. The novel lay open in my hands, yet I couldn’t have recalled a single word I’d read if someone had asked me.

With a quiet sigh, I let the book fall shut against my lap. Hours had passed, hours since I’d walked past the guest bedroom and caught sight of Christian with a woman I’d never seen before.

And somehow, that single moment refused to leave me alone

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the memory away, but It didn’t. Instead, it lingered, taunting me, replaying itself whenever my thoughts drifted for even a second.

“This is ridiculous,” I whispered into the empty room, It wasn’t even my fault.

How was I supposed to know the bedroom door would be left partially open? anyone walking past could have looked, I just happened to be the unfortunate soul.

A frustrated breath escaped me, what if Christian told Lucas? The thought alone twisted my stomach into knots.

I doubted he would, Christian wasn’t exactly the type to run around tattling over something so insignificant. If anything, he probably found the entire situation beneath him.

Still..the possibility lingered

Lucas was fiercely protective of me, If Christian twisted what had happened, or simply mentioned he’d caught me standing outside the guest room, how was I supposed to explain myself without sounding guilty?

‘I wasn’t spying.’ I could already hear how unbelievable it sounded. I hadn’t expected to see..my thoughts halted before they could finish the sentence.

Heat crept into my cheeks as my hands flew to my face, pressing against the warmth spreading across my skin. I shook my head once.

“It happened, It’s over, stop thinking about it,” except my mind had apparently decided to betray me, the memory surfaced again, vivid and unwelcome, refusing to be buried no matter how hard I tried.

The woman’s moans echoed in my ears and Christian’s grunts followed close behind. I groaned softly, dropping my face into my hands.

“La..la..la..” my own voice sounded ridiculous, but I didn’t care as if drowning out my thoughts would somehow erase them.

I lowered my hands with another weary sigh and stared at the ceiling when a knock on my bedroom door made me yelp.

Freezing up, my heart jumping at the sudden sound before quickly runing my fingers through my hair, trying to compose myself and erase any evidence that I had been sitting alone in my room overthinking everything for the past several hours.

“Come in,” I called softly and watched the doorknob twist as the door slowly opened.

Lucas stepped into view, his tall, broad-shoulder rested against the edge of the door, his dark hair that always looked slightly messy no matter how much effort he put into fixing it, falls to his face.

His sharp features and confident presence made him intimidating to most people, but to me, he was still just my older brother.

“Hey,” he said, and a small smile tugged at my lips.

“Hey.”

His eyes moved around my room before landing back on me, “You’ve been in here all day,” I bit the inside of my cheek.

Yeah..because I was trying to avoid a certain someone.

“How would you know?” I asked, keeping my tone light, “you’ve been out all day.”

The corner of his lips lifted. “Because I know you,” narrowing my eyes slightly and his smile grew, “you’re the type to disappear into your room and forget the rest of the world exists.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but quickly closed it because, unfortunately, he wasn’t wrong. “And without your best friend around,” he added, “there’s usually no getting you out.”

Rolling my eyes, but I couldn’t stop the small smile that appeared,

“Go wash your hands and come downstairs,” he said, “dinner’s ready.”

My smile faded slightly, “Can I just eat in my room?” the look he gave me answered before he even said anything, the one that reminded me he wasn’t going to let me get away with something.

Letting out a sigh, “Fine.”

Lucas smiled softly, clearly satisfied. Growing up, he had always had this one rule. Whenever we were together, meals were family time. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner were meant to be shared.

“See you in a minute,” Lucas said.

I nodded. “Okay,” watching as he stepped back out, closing the door behind him.

The second I was sure he was out of listening distance, I released a long sigh and sank back into my chair, before pressing my lips together, biting the inside of my cheek again as I stared at the closed door.

I couldn’t hide forever, eventually, I would have to face him. I just have to walk downstairs, sit at that table, and pretend everything was normal.

Pushing myself to my feet, with a quick trip to the bathroom later, my hands were washed, and there was officially no reason left for me to delay.

I made my way toward the door, my hand rested on the handle for a second, I just stood there. Long enough that I almost convinced myself to turn around but I didn’t and instead pulled the door open to a quiet hallway.

Pausing, I listened carefully for any voices or footsteps before slowly stepping out, making my way toward the stairs, my fingers nervously playing with the edge of my hoodie.

I glanced around as I descended, half expecting to see him somewhere but there was no sign of him. The sound of movement coming from the kitchen pulled my attention towards it.

Still playing nervously with the edge of my hoodie sleeve, I made my way toward the kitchen and when I stepped inside, I found only Lucas. Relief washed over me before I could stop it.

He was standing by the counter, placing plates on the table, his back turned toward me. As if he sensed my presence, his head lifted and a smirk immediately appeared on his face.

“You sure did take your precious little time.”

I scoffed, walking farther into the kitchen without saying anything and instead let my eyes move around, the tantalizing smell engulf me.

“Okay, whatever you’re making smells really good.”

His smirk stretched into a genuine smile. “Because I made your favorite.”

My expression softened as I looked toward the table, my eyes immediately landed on the two plates waiting there which meant no unexpected company or awkward dinner conversation, just Lucas and me.

That simple fact made my shoulders relax as I walked over and took my seat. A moment later, Lucas placed my plate in front of me before taking the seat beside me.

I didn’t hesitate before taking my first bite and second the food hit my tongue, my eyes closed. Lucas could cook like he had spent years training for it, while I could barely manage a meal without somehow finding a way to ruin it.

Taking another bite, enjoying the food while Lucas’s phone suddenly pinged. He picked it up, his attention shifting toward the screen. I continued eating, but after a moment, I noticed the way his expression changed slightly.

My brows pulled together. “Is something wrong?”

His eyes stayed on his phone for another second before he lowered it onto the table. “Nothing that can’t be handled,” then he looked over at me, “So, what’s your plan? Are you still refusing to work for me?”

Lucas had offered me a position at his company months ago, and while I was grateful..more grateful than he probably realized, I couldn’t bring myself to accept it.

His gaming company wasn’t some small hobby anymore, he had built it with a few of his friends nearly four years ago, and despite the struggles, setbacks, and moments where things could have fallen apart, they had kept going.

Now it was finally starting to grow and I was proud of him, I really was. But working under my brother felt too much like taking the easy way out, and I didn’t want every opportunity in my life to come from him.

I wanted to build something that was mine, something I could look at and know I earned myself.

“I wouldn’t say refusing,” I said carefully and he gave me a look.

“That’s exactly what refusing means.”

“Okay, maybe it is,” I looked down at my plate, knowing exactly what he was going to say next and knowing I probably wouldn’t change my mind, “we’ve already had this conversation,” I said, cutting into my food, “my answer is still the same.”

He leaned back in his chair, studying me for a moment. “I still think my offer is better than you working at a café,” I opened my mouth to argue, but he continued before I could, “But..” He shrugged slightly, “I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to do.”

A small smile tugged at my lips. “I know,” he could be annoyingly persistent, especially when it came to me, but he had never once tried to control my choices, “It’s just temporary, untill I find something more stable.”

He nodded, accepting my answer even if I knew he still didn’t completely agree with it. Picking up his fork, he takes another bite of his food before speaking.

“Just remember, I’m always going to be here when you need me.”

My expression softened. “I know.”

A small smile appeared on his face. “When the world feels heavy and when it feels light..”

My lips pushes up to the side as I shake my head softly, “you’ll always be there..”