Five years after my divorce from my ex-husband, the special forces captain, I met him at the rehearsal for the All-Army Commendation Conference.

Just as the security personnel were about to check my identification, he entered and their tone warmed, "Captain Gayle, you're here too."

He nodded slightly, his gaze falling on me. "She's with me."

I politely declined, taking my pass from my pocket. "No need, I have my pass."

He looked down at the pass in my hand, silent for a moment. "Geneva, ​​after all these years, you still blame me."

I smiled, saying nothing.

My mind was already filled with the person about to receive the award; there was no room for anything else.

——

After the rehearsal, I packed the clothes I needed to pick up on my way home, slung my bag over my shoulder and turned to leave.

The early autumn wind whipped up dust and by the time I reached the camp shuttle bus stop, the sand stung my eyes.

After rubbing the sand from my eyes, I saw Gayle Romero's military-plated SUV parked in front of me.

Seeing my red eyes, his brows furrowed. "Get in, I'll give you a ride." 

"No need, I'll take the shuttle bus."

He looked me up and down, his voice softening when he noticed the bag on my shoulder. 

"How have you been these past years?" he asked.

"Very well." 

Gayle clearly didn't believe me.

"Get in, I'll give you a ride." 

The shuttle bus behind us kept honking, but he didn't budge.

Under everyone's gaze, I had no choice but to open the car door.

"Diamond Apartment," I gave the address.

The air froze for a moment, the man's voice dry.

"Why are you still living there? That area has long been designated for demolition and you live alone and..."

He hesitated.

But I knew what he wanted to say.

That was where my mother sacrificed her life. Ten years ago today, she refused to attend my wedding with Gayle.

He jumped from the tenth floor.

The back seat was spacious, but it felt too hot, so I rolled down the window.

“You’ll catch a cold if you're exposed to the wind, you should close it. If you feel hot, I’ll turn the temperature down.”

I shook my head and smiled. “I haven’t done that in a while, do as you please.” 

Silence fell in the car until his phone rang.

“Honey, is rehearsal over? Are you back?” The voice from the car stereo was familiar, yet carried an unfamiliar softness.

“I’m back. I ran into Geneva and gave her a ride.” 

There was a moment of silence on the other end, before she finally asked, “Geneva’s back?”

“It’s been so long! Why didn’t you say so sooner? We should have had a get-together with our old comrades.” 

I had known Diana for over ten years and I had never heard her speak like this.

She used to be quiet and reserved, focused only on tactical drawings. When someone with connections took her spot in the competition, she would only secretly shed tears.

It was me who smashed that person’s sand table in front of the entire company, wrote a report and filed it up the chain of command to get her spot back. 

It turned out, those who were favored really do become more vibrant.

“It was a chance encounter. She had something to do, so I came back right after dropping her off.”

Diana still tried, “A chance encounter is fate. What’s wrong with treating an old comrade to a meal?”

“Diana, stop it.”

Silence on the other end of the phone.

Gayle was always gentle when he tried to coax people, but once he had made up his mind, no one could stop him.

Diana should understand this better than I did.

The call was abruptly cut off just as the car stopped in front of the family dormitory building.

“Thank you.”

I pushed open the door to get out of the car, but he called out to me, “Geneva, ​​can I ask who the dress I picked up on the way today is for?”

“My husband.” 

The man rubbed his forehead and smiled bitterly, as if he felt that I was still being stubborn with him by saying this.

“The same style. You often prepared dresses for me five years ago too.”

“So?” I calmly met his gaze, my eyes unwavering.

“Don’t put on a brave face in front of me. All these years, I’ve only wanted you to be happy, not like this.”

Like what?

My reflection appeared in the car window.

I wore ordinary training clothes, combat boots and a satchel filled with groceries.

I looked like an ordinary military dependent struggling to make ends meet.

But compared to my former self, who always had to be impeccably dressed, this wasn’t so bad.

I smiled, not angry. “I think it’s fine.” 

The man’s expression faltered slightly. “Geneva, ​​you are indeed different from before.”

“Yes, many people say so.” 

After saying that, I turned and went upstairs, never looking back.

I pushed open the door to my fifth-floor apartment.

The furnishings inside were exactly the same as this time last year. Next to the old television sat a photo of my mother in military uniform, the incense in the burner long since burned out.

I skillfully relit three sticks of incense, tied on an apron and went into the kitchen.

Three dishes and a soup were quickly served. Opposite me sat untouched rice; I ate slowly.

"Mom, I ran into Gayle today."

"Don't get angry yet. He can't bully your daughter. Besides, I'm not as naive as I used to be." 

The only response was the howling wind outside the window.

Not feeling well, I put down my spoon and went into my bedroom, pulling out an old photo album.

"Look how impressive you were back then. Looking at photos all the time is so boring." 

Before I could even open the album, a photo fell to the floor.

Bending down to pick it up, the photo was of Gayle, Diana and me.

Three young faces smiling brightly in front of the camera.

I stood in the middle, arm in arm with the two of them, smiling the most—my right cheek still bearing the bruise from training.

That was the summer I was thirteen.

Debt collectors came to the Romero Family's house to cause trouble. The neighbors all kept their doors shut, even my parents didn't dare to intervene.

But I rushed in.

The stick that should have landed on Gayle hit me squarely in the face.

My cheekbone was fractured and I spent the entire summer recovering.

My mother, heartbroken, forbade me to have any further contact with the Romero Family.

Until Gayle’s mother, dragging her injured leg, knelt before our door, repeatedly thanking us.

She softened.

For the next ten years, Gayle always had a set of meal at our dinner table and he always received a share of new clothes for holidays.

When she wasn't busy, she helped Gayle’s mother run the small shop and when someone came looking for trouble, she could berate them so they dared not return.

They called each other sisters.

But no one expected that the stuttering younger sister would climb into her older sister's husband's bed.

When I returned home, everything was smashed to pieces.

My mother stood amidst the ruins, weeping bitterly, her face marked with clear finger marks, while my father shielded that woman behind him.

"Let's get a divorce. You can have everything, I only want Julie." 

Gayle, beside me, hurriedly tried to pull his mother away, but my mother slapped him twice.

I pushed her away, watching her fall to the ground, staring at me in disbelief.

Tears streamed down my face as I uttered the most hurtful words, "Mom, why did you hit Gayle?" 

My jumbled memories were frozen in this small photograph.

After divorcing Gayle, I burned everything related to him, but some had somehow escaped.

Just as I was about to throw the photo in the trash, there was a knock at the door.

There was a neighbor who brought fruits every year around this time, so I opened the door.

But I saw Diana, arm in arm with Gayle.

She smiled radiantly, "Geneva, long time no see! You haven't changed a bit over the years."

"Gayle couldn't refuse me, so his sudden visit didn't bother you, did it?"

I calmly observed the two of them. "I won't invite you in. What's the matter?"

Diana, met with a curt reply, looked at the man beside her with a slightly aggrieved expression.

"Diana wanted to see you. She brought a gift; there's no ill intent."

The man placed the gift box in the entryway. 

Diana immediately introduced, “I really like this skincare set and I thought you might need it too. We used to share these things often.”

I glanced at it; it seemed to be the same one my housekeeper used.

“That photo…” Diana’s eyes suddenly reddened, “Geneva, after all these years, you still haven’t let go.”

I crumpled the photo into a ball and threw it in the trash, “You’re overthinking it.”

She made a move to hold my hand, then stopped in mid-air.

“I know you have a knot in your heart. If you are still together, today should be your wedding anniversary.”

“I had no choice in what happened back then. If you’ve truly let go, let us treat you to a meal. Don’t hesitate to tell us if you have any difficulties in life; we’re old comrades.”

I was ready to refuse almost without thinking.

The incense on the altar suddenly sparked.

I smiled slightly and changed my mind, “Okay.”

Diana became much more talkative, even her small gestures.

While recounting her romantic trip to Turkey with her man last month, she applied her own lip balm to his lips with her finger while waiting at a traffic light.

“Every winter I have to remind you. Last time you kissed me too hard and it bled. Never learn?”

The man grabbed her wrist, slightly annoyed. “Stop it.”

“Oh dear, I forgot Geneva is here. Geneva, ​​you won’t mind, will you? Gayle and I are used to it…”

I gently interrupted, “Of course not.”

“I’ve seen you two rolling around in bed together back then. This is nothing.” 

Silence fell over the car.

Finally, quiet.

Looking at the scenery along the way, I thought that if my mother were still alive, she would be amazed by the changes.

Back then, my father insisted on divorcing Julie, almost driving her insane.

And my secret marriage to Gayle completely destroyed her.

At first, I only hated my father and Julie.

It was their betrayal that turned my mother from a decisive female military officer into a suspicious and resentful woman.

Time cruelly eroded her vitality.

Later, I hated myself.

After my mother's funeral, instead of my honeymoon, I went alone to the border defense company and stayed for a month.

At that time, I didn't hate Gayle.

He was a hidden gem, a soldier with a troubled past yet unwavering resilience.

Before leaving, I asked Diana to take care of him.

She took excellent care of him, cooking skillfully in our newlywed family apartment, preparing four dishes and a soup, each delicious and visually appealing.

I was truly grateful to her.

That year, the three of us grew closer.

Gayle treated me even better.

With my first merit award bonus, he used it all to buy me the tactical watch I wanted.

On my birthday, he celebrated with fireworks all over the city.

Every time we returned from field training, he would cancel all meetings to be with me.

I never doubted it.

He loved me to the core.

Until that one time, by chance, I went to his office alone.

From behind the ajar door of the lounge came suggestive sounds.

I pushed the door open.

Two naked bodies pierced my eyes like daggers.

I screamed uncontrollably.

His movements to protect the woman beneath him were lightning fast.

"Who let you in! Get out!"