Chapter 1
For two agonizing years, I had been nothing more than an object for Louis to vent his insatiable lust. The realization was a slow burn, creeping up on me until it was impossible to ignore. Now, Louis was getting engaged, but he still kept me in his clutches, refusing to let me go.
My mother had a miscarriage because of the stress and heartache caused by my entanglement with him. That was when I knew I had to walk away. Louis had forgotten our agreement and it was time for me to let go.
As I turned to leave, resolute in my decision, Louis knelt before me, his hand gripping mine with a desperation that belied his usual arrogance. "Don't go," he pleaded, his voice breaking in a way that made my heart ache despite everything.
——
I softened my voice, trying to keep my emotions in check. "Not today, Louis..."
In an instant, his demeanor changed. His eyes darkened and he pinched my neck, forcing me down onto the sofa. "Why?" he snarled. "Are you the one rumored to be pregnant at the company?"
I was silent for a moment, my mind racing. Then I forced a smile, denying it. His lips curled into a cruel smile as he grabbed my thin wrists with one hand, his grip bruising. "Relax," he commanded.
Intense music filled the room, its pounding rhythm a stark contrast to the terror I felt. The door couldn't block the sound and the thought that someone might walk in at any moment filled me with dread. But Louis didn't care about my feelings. He reveled in my torment, taking his time to savor my helplessness and my silence.
Just when I thought I couldn't endure anymore, a sweet, feminine voice called out to him. He let me go and I collapsed to the floor, my lips pale and trembling. This time had been particularly brutal, a punishment for daring to suggest a breakup. But how could I stay, knowing he was getting engaged? I refused to be his mistress any longer.
Pushing open the door, I saw a woman clinging to Louis with a look of pure happiness. The sight made my eyes burn with unshed tears. She was everything I wasn't—radiant, untroubled and blissfully unaware of the darkness lurking within the man she loved.
"Vanessa, why did you come out just now?" Louis's friend, always the playful one, chimed in with a mischievous grin. His presence was a reminder of the world I was desperate to escape.
"Why don't you kiss me? Look how good Louis and Scarlett are together. Let's not fall behind." He teased.
The suggestion made my skin crawl, but I didn't want to offend him. The man was Louis's friend, after all.
"How about this," he continued, his grin widening. "I'll give you 500 dollars for a kiss. How about that?"
Feeling Louis's scorching gaze on me, a rebellious impulse surged within me. I wanted to kiss his friend, if only to provoke him, to make him feel a fraction of the turmoil he had inflicted on me. The idea of letting another man touch me, even in such a superficial way, felt like a small act of defiance.
As I moved closer to Louis's friend, my heart pounded in my chest. Louis's eyes burned with a mix of anger and something darker, something possessive. I could see the muscles in his jaw tighten, his fists clenching at his sides. The tension in the room was palpable, an electric current that set my nerves on edge.
The distance between us closed rapidly, tension crackling in the air. I leaned in, my lips inches from his friend's. Just as I braced myself, the glass beside my ear shattered with a deafening snap.
Louis kicked the table, his face contorted with rage. "If you want to kiss, go out and kiss. Disgusting."
Suddenly Louis's hand shot out, grabbing my arm and pulling me back. "Enough," he growled, his voice low and dangerous. "This isn't a game, Vanessa."
With those words, he turned away, leaving me standing there, my heart heavy with the weight of his parting words. As I watched him walk away, I knew that my journey was far from over.
A sharp pain pierced my heart at his words. The undisguised disgust on his face cut deeper than any physical wound. I laughed bitterly, realizing that my defiance, my attempts to hurt him, only ended up wounding me. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but I refused to let them fall here. I pushed the door open and stepped out, each movement a struggle to maintain my composure.
Scarlett had gone to the bathroom, leaving me alone with the man who now felt even more brazen in her absence. "How much did you spend to buy someone so obedient?" he asked Louis, his tone dripping with mockery.
"Twenty thousand," Louis replied casually.
"Oh, then I overpaid with this fifty thousand," the man laughed, the sound grating on my already raw nerves.
Outside the door, tears blurred my vision. I took a moment to steady myself, realizing I had left my bag behind. For a fleeting second, I considered going back for it but decided against it. In Louis's eyes, was I just a woman who could be bought and used for money?
Louis's voice cut through my thoughts. "Get in the car."
I knew better than to defy him when he was like this. His temper was a storm I had learned to navigate cautiously. I got into the car, my heart pounding with a mix of fear and resignation. From the moment I had sent him a text message after work on Friday to now, Sunday night, his anger had been simmering beneath the surface, ready to erupt.
The car ride was tense and silent, each second stretching into eternity. The atmosphere was thick with unspoken words and suppressed rage. Louis's grip on the steering wheel was tight, his knuckles white with the force of his anger.
***
When we finally arrived at his place, I felt like I was walking into the lion's den. As soon as we were inside, his anger broke free and he tore at the hem of my skirt, a cruel prelude to what was to come. The earlier confrontation had been just an appetizer; now, he was ready for the main course.
The room was hot, the air stifling. Louis's breath, cool and pervasive, enveloped me, making it hard to breathe. I was trapped, wrapped up in his rage and possessiveness. My body moved on autopilot, my mind screaming for escape. I could only manage to whisper a futile, "No," over and over again.
"Are you still saying you want to draw a clear line with me?" he hissed, his voice low and dangerous.
"No..." I replied, my voice breaking. The word was a desperate plea, an admission of defeat. In that moment, I realized the extent of my entrapment. Louis's hold on me was more than physical; it was a psychological prison from which there seemed to be no escape.
He continued to exert his control, his actions a relentless reminder of my powerlessness. I closed my eyes, wishing for the ordeal to end, for some semblance of freedom.
In the haze, I heard Louis snort coldly, a sound that sliced through the fog of my thoughts like a knife. His disdainful expression seared into my memory, a haunting reminder of my current reality. I was in a trance, my mind swirling with a mix of confusion and dread. Louis's words echoed relentlessly, reverberating in the recesses of my mind.
"I haven't had enough fun yet."
The weight of his statement settled over me like a dark, suffocating cloud. The implication was clear: he wasn't done with me, not by a long shot. My body ached, both from the physical torment and the emotional toll of his cruelty. Every fiber of my being screamed for escape, but there was no way out, no relief from the nightmare I was trapped in.
His presence loomed over me, a constant reminder of his dominance. I could feel his eyes on me, cold and unyielding, as he took perverse pleasure in my helplessness. The room seemed to close in around me, the air thick with tension and unspoken threats. Each second stretched into an eternity, the silence punctuated only by his occasional, disdainful snort.
I tried to summon the strength to move, to push back against the darkness that threatened to consume me, but my limbs felt leaden, my spirit crushed under the weight of his control. The line between reality and nightmare blurred and I found myself drifting, caught in the relentless tide of his manipulation.
Louis's voice, cold and taunting, continued to echo in my mind, a grim reminder of the power he held over me. "I haven't had enough fun yet." The words were a promise of more pain, more humiliation and my heart sank at the thought.
But as the night wore on, I knew that freedom was a distant dream and for now, I was bound by the chains of Louis's anger and possessiveness. In the dim light of that room, I realized that my struggle was far from over. The fight for my freedom, my dignity, had only just begun and it was a battle I wasn't sure I could win.
***
When I opened my eyes again, I was back in the small house I rented. The familiar surroundings felt oddly surreal, as if I were seeing them for the first time. On the table, my bag sat neatly, the same bag I had left behind in my hasty departure. Louis must have brought it back. The thought made my stomach churn.
I rubbed my face, trying to wipe away the remnants of the nightmare. The pain in my body was a stark reminder of the previous night's events, but I had no choice. I had to go to work. Playing the role of superior and subordinate with Louis was a cruel twist of fate, but it was a part I had perfected over the years.
"Vanessa, come with me to a dinner party tonight," Scarlett's voice rang out, snapping me back to the present. She was the new director, parachuted into the company just last week. It was also when I learned that Louis was getting engaged to her. The news had hit me like a sledgehammer, leaving me dazed and disoriented.
Before this, I had never known dizziness like this. It was as if a heavy weight had been dropped on my head, leaving me reeling. Scarlett's voice pierced through the haze again. "Vanessa?"
"Okay," I replied, my voice hollow. I had no desire to engage in pointless conversation with her. The more I looked at Scarlett, the more my heart ached.
Two years. I had been with Louis for two years. In those two years, I had been at his beck and call, available whenever he wanted, allowing him to do whatever he pleased. I had even gone home with him to meet his parents, naively believing I meant something to him. I never expected that a newcomer would be the one to win his heart. How could I be willing to accept that?
As I pressed the elevator button, my forced smile vanished, replaced by a mask of indifference. I noticed a fleeting flash of hatred in Scarlett's eyes, a look that mirrored my own feelings. But that hatred was mine to bear. I was the one who had endured, who had sacrificed and now, I was the one left to pick up the pieces.
The elevator doors closed, enclosing me in a small, silent space. I leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath to steady myself. The day's events loomed ahead, another test of my endurance. I was determined to face it with whatever strength I had left, even if it meant hiding my true feelings behind a facade of professionalism. Scarlett might be the new director and Louis's fiancée, but I wouldn't let them see me break. Not today.
Chapter 2
At night, Scarlett decided to fill me in on the partner for the dinner party, a notoriously difficult man in the industry named Mr. Charlie. His difficulty wasn't rooted in personality but in his habits. Whenever a cooperating company sent a woman, she would invariably face some form of humiliation.
"Vanessa, I'm on my period, so I'll have to trouble you," Scarlett said nonchalantly before excusing herself to the bathroom.
I was left alone to deal with Mr. Charlie, who stared at me from across the table with a predatory gaze. A sense of crisis arose instantly, my heart pounding as I felt the immense power disparity between us. My body, already sore from the previous night's ordeal, was no match for him.
The tension escalated quickly. Mr. Charlie's hands were rough and insistent, tearing at my clothes, exposing the marks on my body. His greasy face loomed closer, his breath hot and rancid against my skin. I felt utterly powerless.
"Smelly bitch, you just got out of someone else's bed and came to me, right?" he sneered, his voice dripping with contempt.
Just as I thought I couldn't endure any more, the door was kicked open with a resounding bang. Louis stood there and for a fleeting moment, he looked like a god descending from heaven. Relief washed over me, but it was short-lived. The disgust in his eyes made my heart sink.
Mr. Charlie lay in a pool of blood, groaning. I fumbled to button my torn clothes with trembling hands, but the fabric was shredded beyond repair.
"Ah! Vanessa, you..." Scarlett gasped, covering her mouth in feigned surprise. She stood safely behind Louis, her pristine appearance contrasting sharply with my disheveled, violated state. I felt like a wrinkled piece of trash compared to her.
Bitterness surged in my heart and I gritted my teeth, raising my hand to slap Scarlett. My palm stung with the impact, but it wasn't enough. I swung again, but Louis caught my wrist mid-air. The look in his eyes conveyed that he thought I was making trouble for no reason.
My vision blurred with tears as I wrenched my arm free and rushed out of the room. Scarlett's voice followed me, dripping with false innocence. "It was obviously me who called you because I felt something was wrong. Why is she like this? I'm going to see your mom tonight. How can I go now?"
Her aggrieved, coquettish voice lingered in my ears as I quickened my pace, desperate to escape.
But before I could get far, Louis caught up with me and carried me to the car parked outside.
"Let me go!" I shouted, struggling against his grip.
He didn't release me, his hold firm as he pushed me into the passenger seat. My heart pounded with a mix of anger, shame and despair. The car's engine roared to life and I slumped back into the seat, the fight drained out of me.
"What are you throwing a tantrum about?" Louis's voice cut through the tense silence in the car.
I panted, struggling to catch my breath, still holding on to a sliver of hope. "Louis, if I say that all this tonight was planned by Scarlett, will you still protect her?"
He frowned and there wasn't a trace of trust in his eyes. "Take care of yourself," he replied coldly.
I laughed bitterly, realizing the futility of my words. Of course, he would stand by his fiancée's side. I was nothing to him, just a convenience he could summon and dismiss at will.
"Let's end it, Louis. I don't want to be a mistress and maintain a shady relationship with you every day."
He snorted, his expression hardening. "You also know that you're shady. You've taken my money, so you have no right to tell me to end it!"
"I didn't take it!" I protested.
"Then how did the money disappear?" He shot back, leaving me momentarily speechless.
After a pause, Louis curled his lips into a mocking smile. "If you ask me, it's just that Mr. Charlie didn't have the money tonight. If Vanessa is satisfied, what can't be done?"
He opened a box and bundles of money fell on me, the paper edges stinging my skin. He pushed me down again, his weight pressing me into the seat. Sweat dripped onto me as his hot breath fanned my face.
"Is it enough?" he asked, his voice dripping with contempt. I didn't know if he was referring to the money or something else. My body was in the mud and my dignity was trampled alongside it.
My phone lit up and I saw a message from the doctor: 50,000 dollars. My head buzzed and my chest felt tight, making it difficult to breathe. Tears fell onto the seat as my resolve crumbled.
"I knew you could get it if you paid," Louis sneered.
I didn't refute him again. My mother had been the backbone of our family, but now she had been lying in the hospital with her eyes closed for two years. Every day, I wiped her body, my mind consumed with how to come up with the 50,000 dollars we needed for her care.
Louis's voice broke through my thoughts, a constant reminder of my current reality. "You're nothing without me," he said, his tone devoid of any emotion. "You should be grateful for what you have."
Grateful? For what? The humiliation? The pain? The constant reminder that I was nothing more than an object to be used and discarded?
As the car sped through the night, I realized that my life had become a prison. Louis was both my captor and my tormentor and Scarlett was his willing accomplice. The weight of my circumstances pressed down on me, but I knew I had to find a way out. For my mother's sake and for my own, I had to break free from this nightmare.
I once had a carefree childhood. The conditions in the countryside were poor, but I was very happy. I also met a young boy there. After he fell into the water, I tried my best to save him, but when I opened my eyes, there was no trace of him. Despite this, I still kept the things he gave me and remembered our agreement.
In a blink of an eye, my mother remarried and took me with her. Her new husband, a gambler, soon exposed his true nature, beating and scolding both my mother and me. During the years he disappeared to avoid debt collectors, I bit my lips and used all my strength to finally get rid of the group that came after us. Everyone else left me and my mother was all I had.
Even though various expenses had made me heavily in debt, I couldn't bear to give up. The bitterness surged in my heart and I couldn't help hiding in the bathroom to cry. Looking at the pale and haggard person in the mirror, I remembered meeting Louis again two years ago.
The person I thought about day and night was right in front of me and I followed him with joy. But he pressed me down on the bed. When I opened my eyes again, my whole body was sore and 20,000 dollars was thrown on my face. The indifference in his eyes pierced my heart and bled. The little boy who used to be had grown so noble and I was more and more haggard because of the burden of life. I couldn't help but feel ashamed.
Even though I was heavily in debt, I still had a little dignity. I didn't want the 20,000 dollars. But when he needed me, I couldn't help but rush to his side. This had almost become my subconscious reaction. Countless nights, he called me and we did the most intimate things. When I covered his heart, it was cold. In the darkness, I shed two lines of tears. Just like that, I buried all the things he had forgotten in my heart, including my previous name, Linda Walls. Now, there was only Vanessa Harrington.
***
In the hospital, the sterile smell of disinfectant filled the air, mingling with the faint scent of antiseptic. The harsh fluorescent lights cast a clinical glow on everything, making the environment feel cold and impersonal. I sat on the edge of the examination table, clutching the form with trembling hands. My heart pounded in my chest as the doctor's words echoed in my ears.
"You have a special physique and it is difficult to get pregnant. If you give up this pregnancy, you may not have the chance to have children in the future. Are you sure you want to abort it?" The doctor's voice was steady and compassionate, but it only made the decision more agonizing.
I stared at the examination form, my mind racing. This was his child. The thought of it brought a wave of conflicting emotions—pain, confusion and a flicker of hope. Could this be a new beginning, or was it just another complication in a life already filled with turmoil?
The doctor asked me repeatedly, "Are you sure?"
Each time, the question seemed to cut deeper into my resolve. I had come here with the intention of ending this, convinced it was the best choice for my shattered life. But now, sitting in this sterile room, the gravity of the decision weighed heavily on me. My future, my potential to ever have a family, all seemed to hang in the balance.
I trembled slightly, gripping the examination form as if it were a lifeline. Doubt crept into my mind and suddenly, I hesitated. The enormity of the decision loomed over me and for the first time, I wasn't sure what to do.
Chapter 3
Forgive me for being a coward. In front of such a heart-wrenching decision, I just wanted to escape. The fear and uncertainty paralyzed me, making it impossible to think clearly. I wished I could just disappear, avoiding the pain and responsibility that weighed so heavily on my shoulders.
"Recover well and try not to think too much. Be careful not to make your cold worse," the doctor advised as I walked out of the examination room. His voice was gentle, but it couldn't penetrate the fog of my turmoil.
I sniffed, feeling a wave of dizziness wash over me. The past few days had been a rollercoaster of emotions and I hadn't even noticed when I had caught a cold. My body felt weak, mirroring the exhaustion in my mind.
Outside the hospital, the world continued as if nothing had changed, but everything felt different to me. The burden of my situation pressed down, making every step heavier. I shivered, wrapping my coat tighter around myself, trying to shield against the chill in the air and the turmoil within.
As I walked away, I couldn't shake the image of the examination form from my mind, the doctor's words echoing in my ears. The decision still loomed and I knew I couldn't avoid it forever. But for now, all I could do was try to find some semblance of calm, hoping that clarity would come with time.
***
As soon as I entered the office, I heard everyone discussing that Mr. Charlie was dead. He had been hit by a truck on the road and died on the spot. The chatter buzzed around me like a swarm of bees, filling the office with a tense and morbid excitement. I paused, pretending not to hear and kept my expression neutral, though my mind raced with the implications.
"Vanessa, Mr. Robins is calling you," a colleague informed me. I nodded and walked towards Louis's office, trying to steady my nerves and compose myself.
When I entered, Louis didn't even raise his head from his work. His presence was imposing, as always, making the large office feel small and suffocating. "Come home with me tonight," he said, his voice cold and commanding, sending a shiver down my spine.
For a moment, my heart fluttered, hopeful that perhaps there was still something between us. But then his next words crushed that hope. "Apologize to Scarlett," he continued, his tone devoid of any warmth.
My throat tightened and I had to clench my teeth to stop my entire body from trembling. "Why?" I managed to ask, struggling to keep my voice steady.
"Because you treat kindness as a donkey's liver and lungs," he replied, his eyes still fixed on his paperwork, as if my presence was nothing more than a nuisance.
In the past ten years, I had seen through people's hearts and learned to discern their true intentions. If I couldn't see through Scarlett's manipulative schemes, it would have been a waste of all those years of hardship and beatings. I forced myself to speak slowly and clearly, "I won't go."
The atmosphere grew colder, the tension thickening the air. Louis's face darkened and his eyes finally met mine, filled with an icy resolve. "If you leave this door, the deputy director will be replaced," he threatened, his words slicing through my resolve.
Thinking of my mother's medical expenses, I clenched my fists until my nails dug into my palms, drawing blood. The pain helped me focus, but it also highlighted my helplessness. He repeated, "I'll ask you again, are you going?"
My pride shattered and I bit my lip until I tasted blood. After so many years of enduring hardship and humiliation, I was no longer the carefree girl I used to be.
"...Yeah," I whispered, the word barely audible but carrying the weight of my surrender.
Instantly, a flood of grievances and resentment welled up in my chest and my body swayed with the weight of it all. As I opened the door, I was met with Scarlett's smug, smiling face. She raised her eyebrows proudly and I passed by her indifferently, refusing to give her the satisfaction of a reaction.
"Louis, do you think I look good in this outfit? I'm so nervous to meet your mom tonight," she cooed, her voice dripping with false sweetness.
My stomach ached, a knot of anxiety and despair tightening with every word she spoke. I didn't know if it was because of the tension or the mother-son bond that had once connected us. I forced a smile and rubbed my stomach, trying to soothe the ache, but tears dripped onto the back of my hand, betraying my true feelings.
I had been to the Robins Family home before. Maria, Louis's mother, had been urging me to get married and at that time, I happened to be with Louis. We had just been intimate and there was still a trace of tenderness on the bed when he had pulled me to his family home in a fit of rage.
Back then, there had been hope and a sense of belonging, however fragile. The Robins Family home had felt like a sanctuary, a place where I might finally find some stability and love. But now, as I stood there with Scarlett flaunting her victory, that hope felt like a distant memory, buried under layers of pain and betrayal.