3: 3

3

Late on the weekend evening, the table had just been set when a few of the aunts and uncles who often came around showed up.

I was at the island slicing watermelon when I heard Dad in the living room introducing Chloe and Dylan.

"You two really know how to raise kids."

Someone said it with a laugh.

"Your younger daughter's studying design, so stylish too, and your son already won a robotics competition. Nothing to worry about with those two."

Dad played modest, but the pride leaked through anyway.

"They're not that great. The oldest never listens. We told her to stay in-state, but she insisted on running off to Northport to study some kind of signal analysis in the ocean. Sounds shaky to me. No idea what she'll even do with it after."

I study marine acoustics.

My professor says we give the deep sea a kind of "checkup," helping people avoid earthquakes and tsunamis, and we can take part in exploration and development too.

In Dad's mouth it came out as one line. "No idea what she'll do with it."

Over dinner, one of the aunts asked about allowances. "My daughter's going away for school next year too. How much a month is reasonable?"

I'd just opened my mouth when Mom answered for me.

She laid a piece of fish on Chloe's plate first. "A girl out on her own can't be scraping by. Our Chloe gets forty-eight hundred a month. Clothes, makeup, going out with friends, it all costs money, and I wire her a little extra now and then too."

Chloe drew out her words with a laugh. "Mom, you still haven't gotten me that new camera."

"I will. We'll go look in a couple days."

Mom patted the back of her hand, her eyes soft with doting.

As for me, five hundred a month, and my phone was Dad's old hand-me-down, the battery swollen, the charging cable ready to snap the second you touched it.

Because the family had two college students to support, and Dylan's coding classes to pay for.

I was the older sister. I was supposed to be sensible.

The aunt praised Chloe for surely landing a scholarship.

Mom jumped right in. "She's been driven since she was little. Not like my oldest, quiet, never made a sound, never brought home any award worth mentioning."

I lowered my head, picked the imitation crab out of my bowl, and set it under the table.

Chestnut trotted over wagging his tail and ate it in one bite.

To this day Mom still hadn't registered that shellfish breaks me out in a rash.

As for the national award certificate in my suitcase, there was no point taking it out.

After the guests had all gone, I cleared the table, washed the dishes, mopped the floor, and only then walked over to the couch.

Dad was half-reclined, sleeping off the drink, while Chloe and Dylan were curled up on the rug playing games, loud enough to give anyone a headache.

I said, "Dad, the temporary access code is about to expire."

He grunted, dug out his phone, his face impatient.

"Got it, I'll renew it another week. Why have you been sitting at home this whole time instead of going out to find a part-time job?"

I didn't answer.

His brow furrowed again. "You're a grown woman. You should be thinking about pulling some weight for this family, not shut up at home waiting to be kept."

I stood there a moment, then turned and put my water glass back in the sideboard.

Early the next morning, I'd just come out of my room when Dad rubbed his temples and called me over. "I had too much to drink last night, came on a little strong. I'm not trying to kick you out."

I nodded. "I know."

I knew it wasn't a drunken slip.

And I knew, too, that deep down he'd always wanted me to take the hint, to move out on my own, so he wouldn't have to be the bad guy.

4: 4

4

The day before I left, my mother did something she rarely did and came to me on her own. "Let's go to the mall this afternoon. You come too. Those few pieces you have are all worn out, so I'll pick up a couple of new ones for you while we're there."

I froze for a second, then followed her out the door.

At the mall, Chloe headed straight for the new-arrivals section, and Dylan hung on our father, dragging him off to look at game consoles.

My mother steered me to the clearance area, and I stood there sorting through a rack of markdowns by myself.

Professor Fry had reminded us a couple of days earlier that the temperature at the training site dropped sharply at night, and told us to bring a windbreaker.

I dug around for a long time before I found a dark gray shell jacket, the right size, thick fabric.

My mother glanced at the price tag and her brow creased at once. "Three hundred-something for this? It's the middle of summer, when are you even going to wear it?"

She pulled out a white T-shirt and pushed it into my hands.

"This one's fine. Forty-nine. Simple and clean. We can ring it up with Chloe's dress and hit the discount threshold too."

The air-conditioning in the mall was cranked high, and holding that thin T-shirt, all I felt was the cold creeping into my fingertips.

Halfway through, Dylan whined that he was thirsty and reached straight into my bag. "Sis, give me some money first, I'll go get drinks."

Both my hands were full of bags, and I couldn't stop him in time.

He slid my wallet out and ran off.

When he came back he had four cups of iced fruit tea in his hands, and, as usual, none of them was for me.

Chloe took hers and said with a laugh, "Our little brother really knows how to take care of people now."

I looked down at my empty palm and said nothing.

At dinner, when my mother ordered, she got all the sweet dishes Chloe liked and the fried food Dylan loved.

When it came to me, she just asked in passing, "Anything's fine with you, right?"

Before I could answer, she'd already called the server over to put the order in.

After dinner I wanted to run to the convenience store next door for a rice ball to tide me over, since I hadn't eaten enough at the table.

When I opened my wallet, the stack of cash inside was gone.

Nine hundred dollars. I'd saved it up last semester organizing data for the lab, plus a part-time job at a coffee shop.

My fingers went still, and I looked up at Dylan.

He immediately shrank behind our mother.

"Did you take my money?"

Her face darkened at once. "What are you yelling for? He's your little brother. So what if he takes a little of your money?"

I kept my eyes on Dylan. "Give it back."

His mouth twisted and he burst into tears right there. "I bought a limited-edition figure. Mom never lets me get one, so I just took a little."

"A little?" My voice had gone quiet. "That was nine hundred."

My father's face went dark too. "Serena, that's enough. Over a bit of money, you drive your little brother to tears in public. How do you think that makes us look?"

Chloe was busy soothing Dylan, my mother had him shielded completely, and my father just pulled him in close.

The light came down over them as they gathered together, like a complete family portrait.

Only I was standing on the outside.

In the end my father threw out one line. "Think hard about what kind of sister you've been."

Then he took them and drove off in the car.

My phone had died long ago, and I didn't have a cent on me, so all I could do was walk back along the road under the overpass.

The night wind carried the damp, my soles were rubbed raw and burning, and after a while even the pain went numb.

When the security guard saw me come back in the middle of the night, he blinked. "Serena, you walked all the way home?"

I said, "Yeah. It's fine."

The road ahead, anyway, was probably one I'd have to walk on my own.

When it was almost dawn, I dragged my suitcase out the door.

The living room was quiet. Only Chestnut heard the noise, climbed out of his bed, and followed me to the entryway to nuzzle at my pant leg.

I crouched down and rubbed his ears. "This time I'm really going."

He tipped his head up to look at me, tail wagging softly.

At ten in the morning, I met up with the project team at the entrance of the research institute.

Before we handed in our phones, the team leader told everyone to send one last message home.

I glanced down. In the family chat, my mother had just sent two lines.

"The temporary code expires today."

"If you want it renewed, apologize to your brother first."

I looked at them for a few seconds, then pressed the screen dark and shut the phone off.

The access was charity to begin with. I could do without it.