I discovered a separate system on my boyfriend's phone.

The system was completely clean, without a single app.

But the text messages, a sea of green, were filled with his longing for someone else and his complaints about me.

It was like a punch to the gut.

1

I wasn't paying attention when I picked up Sean Sagan's phone.

It was only when my password failed several times that I realized I was holding his phone.

We didn't have secrets. He'd told me all his passwords a long time ago, but I trusted him completely, so I'd never once looked through his phone.

'Maybe I'll exercise my girlfriend privileges today?'

The thought had barely crossed my mind when I smiled, glancing over at the man sleeping beside me. I typed in his most-used password and unlocked the phone.

But the moment I entered the password, the photo of us on the lock screen disappeared, opening to a default system interface.

"Huh?" I frowned and sat up, realizing something wasn't right.

I'd never snooped through his phone, but I'd seen him use it plenty of times.

His lock screen wasn't just a photo of us; his wallpaper was also a picture from a trip we'd taken together.

He'd even bragged to me when he set it, saying he would only change it to a family portrait after we got married and had kids.

So what was with this bare, default wallpaper now?

A sense of foreboding washed over me. I swiped through the phone, only to find that aside from the default apps, there wasn't a single extra one installed.

My anxiety began to fade. I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking I was just being paranoid.

But when I tapped on the Messages app, a screen full of green bubbles made my heart leap into my throat all over again.

"Worked overtime again today. So tired. Played a couple of games downstairs before coming up. Jade Harrow is working late too, so she's not back yet. It's such a relief not to have to pretend to be cheerful."

"I've been so tired lately. I miss you so much."

"Jade Harrow missed her period this month. I thought she was pregnant. It scared the hell out of me."

"Jade Harrow brought up meeting parents today, and it just made me think about when you and I talked about doing the same."

The contents of the messages were horrifying. Page after page of green bubbles chronicled his secret thoughts and frustrations. Some of them were even dated from before he and I got together.

My heart sank lower and lower. My eyes burned, and tears splashed onto the duvet, spreading into a dark, wet patch.

2

Before Sean Sagan and I were talking about getting married, he had a girlfriend he'd been with since high school.

I'm not the kind of person who gets hung up on things when it comes to relationships, so I didn't get angry when one of his friends accidentally mentioned her.

But I still remember the uneasy look in Sean Sagan's eyes as he stared at me back then.

And his friends who were there were all cautiously glancing my way. One of them was even gripping the edge of the table, as if he was afraid I was about to flip it and fly into a rage.

All the staring made me uncomfortable, but I kept peeling a jumbo shrimp for Sean Sagan. Then, in a very calm voice, I said, "What's the big deal? Doesn't everyone have a past?"

'Everyone has a past. The person to cherish is the one right in front of you. There's no need to fuss over what happened before.'

That's my attitude toward relationships, but clearly, it wasn't Sean Sagan's.

I remember that after I said that, all the guys at the table looked visibly relieved. Then, they all raised their glasses in unison, and their way of addressing me changed from my full name, Jade Harrow, to "Saozi."

"Saozi, for being so cool about it, I have to toast you!"

"Yeah, Saozi! Brother Sagan hasn't had it easy all these years. You two should take good care of each other. When you get married, I'll definitely give you a huge red envelope."

At the time, I didn't understand what they meant by "hasn't had it easy," so I just dazedly accepted the glass they offered me.

Looking back now, it seems Sean Sagan had been pining over someone for years. What they meant by "it hasn't been easy" was that he was lucky to finally meet someone as "magnanimous" as me.

He took meticulous care of me in every way. He thawed my cold heart, carefully watering and fertilizing it, waiting for me to blossom and bear fruit.

But on the other hand, he was secretly keeping a sacred place in his heart for his ex-girlfriend—a place pristine and untouched by anyone else. He would pour out all his troubles and worries to her, not expecting a reply...

What was that supposed to be?

:

3

I felt like I was possessed.

I couldn't sleep after lying down. I just lay there, eyes open, as my entire body ached. A sickening chill washed over me in waves, and even huddled under the covers, I couldn't stop the cold sweat from breaking out.

Sean Sagan, asleep next to me, subconsciously reached out to hold me, but I shoved him away.

My resistance only made him grunt twice.

He scrunched his nose in annoyance, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

That seemingly tender moment banished the last of my sleepiness.

Clutching my pillow, I left the bedroom and curled up on the living room sofa, hugging my knees and trying to find some semblance of security.

But it was useless.

The text messages Sean Sagan had sent to that person invaded my thoughts, line by line, word by word. Tears streamed down my face. I wiped them away with my sleeve again and again until my eyes were so red and swollen that even opening them was a struggle.

I passed the entire night in a daze, only snapping back to my senses when I heard Sean Sagan call me "Babe" from the bedroom, his voice thick with sleep.

I used to think that nickname was incredibly sweet and doting.

But now, hearing that familiar, gentle call just made my skin crawl. A wave of revulsion rose from the depths of my heart, making me feel like I was suffocating.

I didn't answer.

A moment later, I heard Sean Sagan walk out of the bedroom, his slippers slapping against the floor.

The moment he saw me curled up on the sofa, all his drowsiness vanished.

He crouched down to look me in the eye, his voice full of concern as he reached out to stroke my hair. "Babe, what's wrong?"

I instinctively recoiled from his touch. I pulled out his phone, held it out to him, and said nothing.

I saw the look in his eyes tremble, as if shaken by an earthquake. His expression darkened, a mixture of anger and restraint.

He took the phone, his hand trembling uncontrollably.

"This... This is..."