1: 1

After I divorced the wife who cheated on me, I moved thirty-three times, and every time she found me.

Slit wrists, a bottle of sleeping pills, a jump into the river—she staked her life on getting me back.

The last time, she cut open her own throat, and the blood sprayed across my face.

When she came out of the ICU, Janet Sullivan was still clutching my wrist, eyes red, begging to remarry me.

That time, I finally gave in.

She wept with joy, and after we remarried she gave me every reassurance I could ask for.

She changed all her passwords to my birthday, handed over her bank cards, kept her phone's location on twenty-four hours a day.

Slowly, I let go of the resentment.

In the third year she had our child and nearly died in labor, and I cared for her day and night.

Even a small frown from her would set me off, asking whether the incision hurt.

That night, late, I finished feeding the baby and went to wash the bottle.

Passing through the living room, I saw the iPad on the coffee table light up.

On the secret account she'd forgotten to log out of, a message popped up from my younger brother.

【Still didn't let him touch you tonight? Guess there's no action movie to watch again.】

In the bedroom, rocking our baby to sleep, she answered almost instantly.

【Relax, you jealous thing. Ever since I came home from the hospital after the birth, I haven't let him touch me.】

【Stop watching the camera and go to sleep. Stay up any longer and you'll feel awful tomorrow.】

So Janet had never cut him off.

The camera in the bedroom wasn't there so I could look after the baby more easily.

It was there to prove her innocence.

In that instant, my heart finally died.

The inescapable clinging of three years ago would not happen a second time.

......

From the bedroom came Janet's soft, patient humming as she coaxed our son Lewis Martinez to sleep.

And I was cold all over.

Just thinking of her every day in that bedroom, clothes open to nurse, every image of it watched by the man I hated most.

It made me gag and couldn't stop.

Janet heard the noise and hurried out.

“What's wrong? Are you feeling sick somewhere?” Her brow creased.

Without a flicker, I let the iPad screen go dark.

“My stomach hurts a little. Get me a glass of water?”

She did, handing it over carefully.

“Any better?”

When I said nothing, she touched my face, then my forehead.

“Still feeling bad? Should we go to the hospital?”

I looked at the concern in her eyes and spoke quietly.

“Janet, are you still in contact with Timothy James?”

Something flickered in her eyes. “We cut ties a long time ago. Why are you suddenly asking that?”

When I didn't answer, Janet's eyes went red and she dropped to her knees, her voice pleading.

“I promised you, and I won't go back on my word. Adrian Whitmore, you can't leave me again.”

“Is there something I did wrong that made you misunderstand?”

My fingernails dug into my palm as I fought down the trembling and forced a small smile.

“It's nothing. I just suddenly thought of the past.”

She let out a breath, took my hand, and led me back to the bedroom, her tone exasperated.

“You skip sleep and your mind starts spinning.”

We lay down again, and out of habit Janet reached to hold me.

I dodged on reflex and turned my back to her. “It's hot.”

She paused, then turned the air conditioning down two degrees.

“Adrian, I've changed. We have a child now. You can't punish me over some guess you can't even prove.”

I said nothing.

A long time passed, and she must have thought I was asleep.

In the dark, her phone screen glowed to life.

The sound of typing was unusually clear in the quiet room.

Light and quick, threaded through with the breathy sound of Janet's soft laughter.

I had no wish to sleep.

Tears slid down without warning and soaked the pillow.

I didn't sleep all night.

The next morning I left for work, and before I went out the door she rose on her toes and kissed my forehead.

“Come home early. I'll be waiting.”

The moment the door shut, I clamped a hand over my mouth and rushed into the elevator.

Just thinking that everything she did was being watched turned my stomach.

At the office, I opened the iPad I'd carried out of the house.

Janet and Timothy's messages were easy, familiar, and it was clear they'd never lost touch.

Just like three years ago, when I caught the two of them tangled together against the floor-to-ceiling window of a hotel room, cheek to cheek, that close.

I bit down hard on the soft flesh of my tongue and forced my eyes wide, reading it word by word.

Reading how the woman who, ever since getting pregnant, had refused to touch me on the grounds of "being safe" was playing dangerous games with Timothy.

Reading how she, who had turned down my offer to come along on business trips because she "didn't want to be distracted," took Timothy to conferences out of town and went sightseeing on the side.

When Timothy asked her, 【Your brother or me, which one do you like more】, the line she shot back in an instant.

【He's not as good as you.】

Four small words.

They nailed me, the man who'd let down his guard to remarry her and have a child, to the pillory.

Tears dropped onto the screen and blurred my vision.

I opened my phone, withdrew my resignation letter, and applied for an out-of-state assignment.

My boss called soon after.

“Adrian, it's wonderful that you want to come back. But the Seattle assignment—are you sure?”

“This is a confidential project. You can bring family, but you'll be cut off from the outside world for at least three years.”

I wiped the tears off my face and replied: 【I'm sure.】

This time, I would take my child and slip away quietly, and Janet would never find me again.

2: 2

Timothy had barely hung up before he was messaging Janet again.

【Janet, we agreed back then—once the baby's born, you'd divorce him. When are you doing it?】

【Lewis isn't weaned yet. Wait until he's at least two.】

【Then promise me. The baby's here now, so from now on you're not allowed any closeness with him at all.】

【I know, you big jealous baby.】

My hands and feet went cold as I read their conversation.

So the reason he'd begged me to remarry him was because Timothy wanted a child.

Timothy couldn't have one, so Janet offered me up to help.

【Adrian's family, he's trustworthy. Once the baby's born, I'll divorce him, and since I'm the mother, I can get custody.】

A laugh burst out of me before I could stop it.

I laughed and laughed, until my throat drew tight.

For three years, everyone said Janet loved me more than her own life.

She'd drive four hours round trip in the middle of the night just to buy the apple hand pies I liked.

When I ran a high fever, she stayed by me while she worked, three days and three nights without closing her eyes, and once the fever broke, she was the one who collapsed.

So all that tenderness was just the wages she paid her tool.

And I'd been the fool who ached for her, thinking she was worn out caring for the baby alone, so I put in my resignation at the company, meaning to stay home and raise our son full-time so she could have a little more freedom.

While I sat there thinking, the message tone chimed again.

【I saw you gave him a watch in the bedroom a couple days ago. Wasn't that supposed to be for me?】

【If you want one, I'll just buy another.】

He was getting worked up now.

【That's not the point! You promised that to me. Why give it to Adrian?】

【And last time, you said you'd take me to a movie, and instead you drove across half the city to buy him apple hand pies. I waited through the whole thing and you never showed.】

【Aren't you being way too good to Adrian?】

This time Janet didn't fire back in a second. Two hours passed before she sent one line.

【Timothy, say what you want, Adrian is still your brother, not your enemy. In the end we're the ones who wronged him. I'm only making it up to him.】

Reading Janet's words, all I felt was the irony of it.

Timothy should have been the person closest to me in the world.

Our parents died too young, and I took on the burden of raising him while I was still very young myself, which is how I grew into someone steady and mature.

Back then Janet said she loved how quiet and reserved I was, and then after she met Timothy she changed her tune and said a man ought to be a little more lively and outgoing.

It wasn't that I never noticed how special Timothy was to her.

But when I told her to keep her distance from my brother, she only smiled and put her arms around me.

Told me not to be petulant, that he was her future brother-in-law.

What happened afterward was too dramatic, and it had been a long time since I let myself go back over it.

They grew closer and closer, close enough to share a single straw.

When we married the first time, even the wedding ring had to be a style Timothy liked.

On our first anniversary, I walked in on them tangled together, and Timothy didn't stop, didn't warn her either, just fixed his eyes straight on me.

When I demanded to know why, hysterical, Timothy's voice was very soft. He said: "An older brother is like a father. You should share everything with me. Everything of yours."

And Janet shielded Timothy behind her, silent, offering no argument.

I couldn't bear that the two most important people in my life had betrayed me.

I divorced her and blocked both of them.

I thought our paths would never cross again in this life.

But she threw herself into getting me to remarry her, threw herself so completely that I softened again.

Thinking of it, I laughed like a fool, and the tears kept falling and wouldn't stop.

I really was a fool, fool enough to believe Janet would change, fool enough to chase after a heart I thought was real.

But peel back the disguise and it was rotten through long ago.

Thank God there was still time.

3: 3

Once I'd decided to leave, I started clearing out everything I didn't want.

This place had been decorated the way I liked it. Most of what was in it, I had chosen.

Janet had said she wanted me to live somewhere that felt good, somewhere that made me happy the moment I opened my eyes and the moment I came home.

The curtains were the gray-blue I picked.

The couch was the one I finally settled on after trying a dozen others.

The painting on the wall—I had done nothing more than glance at it twice, and she'd had someone hang it in my study the next day.

Now, thinking it over slowly, I saw that this was never my home at all. It was a cage she had built to my exact measurements.

Things I once loved, I couldn't stand to look at anymore.

So I swept the whole lot of it into black trash bags.

When it was all done, I pulled out the suitcase and packed only what mattered.

Janet came in from outside, frowning.

"Why does the place look so empty?"

I didn't look up, kept packing. "Clearing out what I don't want. I'm going to buy some new things."

"As long as you're happy. Let me know if you're short on money." Her eyes landed on the bare desk. "I'm going away on a work trip in a few days. Anything from duty-free you want me to bring back?"

"No, thanks."

"Didn't you say last time you liked that laptop, whatever the brand was?"

I was patting Lewis's back, easing him to sleep, and didn't look up. "I don't really want it anymore."

The things, and the person—I didn't want any of it anymore.

...

Before the out-of-state assignment, family members going along needed a checkup too.

I took Lewis in for ours, and while we were waiting in line for the results, I saw Janet and Timothy standing in front of the fever clinic.

Timothy was leaning into her. "Such a shame. Now that I've caught a cold, I won't be able to touch you for days."

Janet stroked his face, half-exasperated. "And whose idea was it to take a cold shower right after? Learn your lesson this time. No more of that."

A number was called. Janet's phone happened to ring right then, so she didn't go in with him.

When she hung up and turned around, she found me standing there, quiet.

Our eyes met, and she froze for a second before she came over quickly.

"Adrian, what are you doing here? Is Lewis sick?"

She reached out to touch Lewis's face. I stepped back. My voice was level.

"Company checkup. I brought Lewis along."

"Oh." Her eyes flicked toward the exam room, and she answered a question I hadn't asked. "A client's ill. I came along to see how they're doing."

I didn't ask what client mattered so much that even a doctor's visit required the CEO in person.

"I'm heading home."

I didn't wait for her to answer. I turned and left without looking back.

So I didn't see the complicated look in her eyes behind me.

That evening Janet came home earlier than usual.

I sat in the living room watching TV and ignored her.

She came over carrying a cake box.

"Adrian, didn't you say last time you wanted the pastries from this place? I went out of my way on the drive home to pick them up for you."

I glanced at the logo.

I didn't know the brand.

But last time, following the thread, I'd dug up Timothy's secret social media account and seen him post about it.

Out in the suburbs, a dozen miles from his office.

I smiled.

Play two sides long enough, and sooner or later it comes apart.

Janet saw me smile and thought I was pleased.

"Try some." She held out the box.

I didn't take it. The smile left my face. "Janet, I never said I wanted pastries from this place."

Janet went still. I rarely used her full name.

"Then I must have remembered wrong." A flicker of panic. She bent down to kiss me. "Don't be upset. Whatever you want, I'll go buy it right now."

I turned away. "Janet, let's get divorced."

The color drained from her face, inch by inch.