I WENT STRAIGHT home to the condo and poured out the pain and resentment at what had happened in the church. I took off my gown. My smile was bitter when I threw it in the trash can.

I went into the bathroom and let the water from the shower flow into my body. At the same time, abundant tears flowed. I was like that for an hour before I thought of getting dressed.

I slowly lay down on the bed, thinking about what had happened at church, causing tears to fall again down my cheeks. I could feel nothing but the pain in my heart.

I woke up to hear Cindy and Mommy knocking outside. They begged me to open the door. Until the noise outside disappears. Maybe they were tired, or maybe they chose to give me time to be alone.

***

I WOKE UP because of the sunlight hitting my face. I just fell asleep with the window of my room open.

I got up and prepared myself to go to the office today, though I already file a leave for the wedding, which did not happen.

“Margaux, why are you here? You should rest first.” There was a shock in Karen’s voice, my secretary.

“I will go crazy if I just mumble in my condo. Besides, I still have a lot to do. There will be holidays again,” I said. I was wearing sunglasses, so she didn’t pay attention to my puffy eyes.

I went straight to my office.

“Are you really okay?” she asked worriedly.

I just smiled at her and removed the sunglasses before facing the papers on my desk.

“Margaux, if you need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to call me,” she said in a low voice.

“I’m okay, Karen. I just don’t want to talk about what happened. I’ll call you when I need something,” I told her.

“Okay,” she answered and then left my office.

I began working. I don’t want to free my brain for a moment. Until the intercom on my desk rang.

“Lester is on the line. You want to talk to him?” said Karen on the other line.

I closed my eyes firmly before answering. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Hello?” said Lester on the other line, but I did not answer.

How my heart broke when I heard his voice. “Margaux, can we talk?” My tears flowed.

“Baby, I love you . . . I know you know that. Something just happened that I couldn’t make it to our wedding. Please, I need to talk to you,” he said, begging. “Babe?”

I took a deep breath before speaking. “Okay. Let’s talk after office hours.” Then I quickly dropped the call.

The day ended quickly, which I barely realized because I made myself busy.

“It’s Lester again,” Karen said on the intercom.

I pressed the enter button. “Hello?”

“I’m outside your office,” he said.

“Okay, I’m going down.”

I didn’t bother to fix myself like I used to. I didn’t put lipstick and blush on.

When I came out of the building, I immediately saw Lester leaning against his car. My chest throbbed loudly. He was wearing a white V-neck shirt, bleached jeans, and rubber shoes. Looks like he just finished taking a bath but forgot to shave. He also appears to be sleep-deprived, as seen by the dark circles beneath his eyes. Despite that, he was still handsome. I also noticed that he was holding a cigarette.

When he noticed me, he immediately threw away the cigarette he was holding and greeted me. He would have kissed me on the cheek, but I quickly avoided it.

“What else are we going to talk about?” I said in irritation.

“Let’s talk in some other place,” he said in a low tone. He guided me into his car.

“No, thanks,” I firmly refused. “I better use my car.”

He had no choice but to agree, so I went to a restaurant using my car.

“What do you want to eat?” he asked as we sat down.

“Just water,” I answered even though my stomach was boiling earlier.

I’m hungry, but I don’t want to be with him for long.

“Marg, baby . . .” He held my hand resting on the table.

“Don’t you f*cking call me that!” I said emphatically and pulled my hands.

“Look, Margaux . . . I’m sorry for what I did. Something unexpected happened yesterday,” he said while shaking.

“My God, Lester, I thought we both wanted this ever since I said yes to you. You simply threw away what we had for over three years!” I spat.

“Believe me, I really want to spend the rest of my life with you . . .” he said in a low voice, then took my hand again and laid a soft kiss there.

I stared at him intently. From my viewpoint, he was still attractive. His eyes are black, he has a sharp nose, and his lips are crimson. Adonis-like in appearance.

Suddenly the pain in my heart changed. I didn’t want to cry in front of Lester, but my tears were about to fall.

“Please tell me, Les . . . What happened between us? Where is your promise that you would not hurt me? Our parents were hurt too because of what you did!” Tears welled up in my eyes.

“Shh, please don’t cry, babe.” He wiped away my tears.

“Stop it! Bullsh*t!” I shouted and yanked his hand away from my face, which caused us to get the attention of other customers.

“Please, baby, just give me one more chance. I can fix this. I promise!”

“I don’t want to hear any reason why you didn’t come to our wedding. I guess this will be the end of our relationship. After all, we can never get everything back to normal because you already broke us!” I got up and went out of the restaurant.

“Margaux!” Lester chased after me, and when he reached out, he grabbed my arm tightly.

“Let go of me!” I violently grabbed my arm.

“No, Margaux. We haven’t finished yet. Come inside again, please . . .” he begged as if he was running out of patience.

“There’s nothing between us, Lester! We’re through!” I said in my cold voice.

“I will not allow you to leave me. I’m just asking you for a little time for me to fix this problem I got into. Believe me, after this, in any church, I will marry you. Please, baby. . .”

His voice is gentler, but that is not enough to touch my heart. I slapped him hard on the cheek.

“F*ck you! I'm not a dog you can leave somewhere and come back to at any time!” I shouted. “You are my first love, my first boyfriend, and the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with,” I continued. I don’t care if people outside the restaurant look at us. “I gave you everything, but it’s not enough! It’s just a pain because you are the first one I love, but you are also the first one to destroy me.”

Tears fell down my face. I deeply regretted crying in front of him, so I quickly wiped away the tears before turning around to run to my car.

I DROVE THE car away from the restaurant. I don’t want to stay there for long because I might just swallow everything I said and flatter Lester’s sweet words. I didn’t want to go home, so I decided to go to a resto-bar. For a time, I’d want to forget about it.

I chose to sit on the stool right in front of the bartender.

“One tequila, please,” I said.

“Yes, ma’am!”

A few minutes later, the bartender put down the tequila shot glass, which I immediately drank straight.

“One more, please!” I ignored the lemon in front of me. What could be more bitter than how I feel? Even if I suck a lemon and taste the salt, nothing can beat my already broken heart.

“Here, ma’am,” he politely said when he gave me another shot. Again, I drank straight. I asked for more until I felt dizzy.

“W-waiter, one more, please,” I whispered. My eyes were blurry.

The bartender shook his head before taking a glass. When he tried to reach for the glass, a hand grabbed it from me and drank it explicitly.

“Hey! That’s my drink!” I said between hiccups.

“You’re drunk,” a man said in his baritone voice.

I chuckled and slowly lifted my head to look at him. “And who the hell are you?” I slurred. I also made a few blinks. I couldn’t see him very clearly because of the glare from the lights. But he looks tall. His jaw was prominent and perfectly sharp.

When our eyes met, my heart throbbed.

“Where do you live? I’ll take you home,” he softly said.

“Who are you to take me to my house, huh?!” I exclaimed, nudging at his broad chest. I noticed that he was physically strong.

“You’re drunk. You can’t drive on your own,” he replied. He looked at the bartender before he took money from his pocket. “Keep the change.” He handed me the payment and then confronted me again. “Let’s go. I will take you home,” he said with authority this time.

Because I was drunk, I could do nothing but go with him. But before we could leave, we met Lester, who was obviously shocked to see us.

“Baby, what happened?” The expression on Lester’s face immediately changed when he saw the man with me. “What did you do to my girlfriend, huh?!” Then he suddenly punched the man with me, who immediately backed away because of what he had done.

My jaw dropped. It was as if cold water had been poured on me because of what had happened. “Stop it, Lester!”

But the man with me returned the punch, causing Lester to fall to the floor. Lester would have retaliated, but I intervened between the two of them.

“F*ck! I said stop!” I shouted again with all my might.

“Margaux, don’t you see? That man wants to take advantage of you!” Lester shouted back.

“He just wanted to take me home,” I explained. D*mn it, why do I have to explain my side to this jerk?

“And did you agree? What if he does something bad to you?!” His eyes widened, his mouth also raging with anger.

The hell with his concern. “You don’t care what I do in my life anymore because we are done. You have no right to take me away from the man I want!” I said, full of rage.

I didn’t wait for him to answer. I pulled the hand of the man with me out of the bar.

We got straight into my car and let him drive for me after telling him where my condo was.

I leaned back in my chair and quickly fell asleep. Until I felt like my shoulder was shaking by someone. I slowly opened my eyes and looked up at the guy by my side. He has a perfect pair of brown eyes that drill into mine. I couldn’t help but think, I’d never seen such eyes with so much light in them.

My cheeks got hot because of his stare. I cut off my gaze and slightly adjusted myself. “Where are we?”

“We are here in the condominium you told me about,” he said in a hushed voice.

I cleared my throat and tried my very best to look away. “Uh, yeah . . .” That’s all I said.

He stepped out of the car to help me open the door. I stepped out of my car with trepidation. However, disorientation and drunkenness caused me to lose my balance.

It was too late for me to regret everything because I had sunk into his wide chest. His sturdy hands held me steady by the waist while I almost hugged him.

“Are you alright?” he whispered close to my ear.

I did not answer immediately. How I seemed to be more intoxicated by the smell of his perfume biting into my nose. D*mn, can I just rest here for a while? His scent . . . I quickly shook my head then I pushed him away.

“Yes, of course, I’m okay!”

I would have walked away, but I could not stop my feet from crossing. I almost jumped when he suddenly grabbed my elbow.

“You’re still drunk. Where is your unit here?” he asked without looking at me.

I slowly looked down at his long fingers. His hand was warm; it made me tremble.

“On the fourth floor,” I answered hoarsely.

As we walked, I couldn’t help but glance at him. He is tall and definitely handsome. His hair was slightly messy, but that did not pave the way for him to reduce his strong appeal.

He was making me feel hot, so I took my gaze back from him. We quickly reached my condo unit. I opened the door wide.

“Come in first. Want something to drink? Coffee, water, or juice?” I asked and smiled.

“Coffee would be fine,” he answered in a low voice.

I quickly nodded and walked toward the kitchen. He is in the living room.

When I got back, I found him turning his back and staring at the pictures of Lester and me hanging on the wall. I fake a cough before I lay the coffee on the glass table.

“Here’s your coffee,” I interrupted.

He turned around for a moment but turned his eyes back to the pictures.

“Why? Is there something wrong with the photos?” I asked with curiosity.

“No, nothing,” he said, then chuckled.

I frowned. “What are you laughing at?”

“I wonder why your wedding didn’t go through. It looks like you guys are perfect,” he commented before sipping the coffee I gave him and sitting on the sofa.

My forehead furrowed even more. How did he know that Lester and I did not get married?

“Is it in the news? Did you hear what happened?” I said, exhaling.

“No,” he answered quickly, then smiled.

“In that case, where did you hear about our wedding?” I asked impatiently. Honestly, I wouldn’t have asked because I don’t care anymore, but I wonder how he found out. I don’t even know him.

He stood up and slowly walked closer. He was an inch away from me before I could think of blinking.

“Don’t you remember me?” he whispered. I could feel his warm breath in my ear, wanting to consume the rest of my energy. “I was the one you shouted at and slapped in the middle of the road. Remember?”

MY EYES WIDENED. Anger started to stir up.

“You!” At the same time, I pushed him hard as my eyes narrowed.

“Hey, I have no intention of offending you,” he said. Then he smiled, which caused me to see his white teeth and his deep dimple.

“Well, nice try!” I arched my brow at him.

“Look, I’m sorry. I was just chasing a meeting that day,” he replied in a calm voice.

I did not answer. Instead, I walked to the door and violently opened it.

“You can go out now!” I said emphatically before averting my eyes.

He smirked and slowly walked toward the open door. I stepped back to give him away, but he stopped right in front of me.

“Thanks for the coffee,” he muttered under his breath.

I remained expressionless. When I think about how stupid I looked in the middle of the road when I hit him, my annoyance with him gradually returned.

“Leave,” I said with finality. I don’t care if I sounded arrogant or lacking manners, but my annoyance really rises.

He took another step, and then I bowed for a moment.

He took another step while his eyes were staring at me, which cause my heart to pound erratically.

“Your ex-boyfriend will surely regret breaking your heart,” he said in a calm voice.

I slowly looked up at him, mesmerized by his gaze. My lips parted because I want to say something but decided not to continue.

“And you know what?” he started, “We look better than your ex-boyfriend.”

***

MANY DAYS PASSED. I kept myself busy at work and spent my time alone at my condo.

It was Sunday morning when Cindy came to visit me.

“Best friend!” she shouted at me before hugging me tightly. I just laughed at what she did.

“Margaux, Carrick finally proposed to me!” She was in tears as she spoke.

“OMG! I am so happy for both of you!” My tears welled up before I hugged her tightly.

“Margaux, we need to celebrate!” she said excitedly. Suddenly the smile faded from my lips as Lester entered my mind and the postponement of our wedding.

“Hey, bestie, are you okay?”

“Of course. I’m okay, and I am happy for you, bestie, so let’s celebrate!” I said delightedly.

“Really? Are you really okay?” She even held my hand, then raised an eyebrow at me.

“I want to celebrate your engagement with Carrick.” I smiled.

We decided to go to the mall and watch a movie. Cindy cried a lot for Popoy and Basha, the leading characters of the movie. Cindy has a soft heart and is happy to be with. She never runs out of stories that made me laugh so hard.

“The movie was great!” I commented while entering the shopping mall to buy some dresses and bags.

Cindy treat me a dinner at a famous restaurant. So I ordered a lot of expensive food. I do not know why it seems like I want to pour all my frustrations in life into food. Maybe this is just my stress reliever.

Our happy dinner was interrupted when I noticed a couple entering the restaurant entrance. My lips quivered at them as they sat at a table in the corner.

My eyes warmed at what I witnessed. I also couldn’t help but stand up, which surprised Cindy.

“Oh, bestie, are you done? You only eat a little, huh?”

But I didn’t answer. My eyes were focused on the couple, who seems to have a sweet conversation.

“My God!” Cindy exclaimed as she turned her gaze to them.

“Margaux, what are you trying to do?” a warning voice from Cindy stopped me.

But I just saw myself stepping closer to the pair. Lester immediately lost his color when he saw me. He also moved a little away from the woman next to him, who frowned at me.

“Miss, is there a problem?” The woman raised an eyebrow at me.

“To you, nothing, but to him, yes!” I said bluntly and looked at them with angry eyes.

“Margaux, calm down.” I felt Cindy’s hand over my shoulder as she leaned close to me.

“Please, Margaux, don’t make a scene here,” Lester said in a low tone.

“Let’s talk,” I said. I walked out of the restaurant, but I fire them a sarcastic look before I could do that.

“Margaux!” Lester restrained my arm when he reached the parking space.

“Is she the one who took my place in your heart?!” I asked angrily.

He just bent down and said nothing.

“So, it’s true? You b*stard!” I shouted and slapped him hard on his face.

“I am really sorry,” he said softly. He was about to hold my hand when I immediately avoided it.

“Can your apology make any difference? I don’t think so,” I told him boldly and decided to return to the restaurant.

“She’s pregnant!” he revealed.

His words exploded like a bomb in my ears that made me stop on my track and could not move.

“She’s carrying my son,” he added.

I shut my eyes firmly. I feel like heaven and earth fall on me. Gradually a grain of tears fell on my cheek.

“I’m sorry, Margaux.” He took my hand again as he approached me. “I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you.” His voice cracked. “She is the daughter of Mr. Mondragon, my family’s business partner. When her father found out what happened, he wanted me to take responsibility for the child; otherwise, they would cut all of the connections we have with them.”

***

CINDY TOOK ME home to my condo. On our way to my condo, I silently stared out the window with so much pain in my heart.

She silently turns to me while driving. “Margaux . . .” she started.

“Why, Cindy? What have I done wrong in our relationship? Why do I have to be hurt like this?” Gradually, tears welled up in my eyes.

“No. You have done nothing wrong. If anyone is responsible for this, that’s him!” The unspeakable anger was also evident in her voice. “He is the one who lost and not you. You do not deserve such kind of a jerk. It’s good that you know everything now.”

I sighed and nodded.

It has been two hours since Cindy left my unit, but I still do not feel sleepy. I will never forget the scene at the restaurant. Starting today, there will be no more tears to fall. I promised myself that that would be the last time I would cry over the same thing, and I would never be hurt again.