The room was completely silent, which only deepened the feeling of sadness.

Eliana's death was something my family could never move past.

"But Ian, we've already built our own family."

I rubbed my belly, feeling down, and reminded myself, "Zoey, you're about to be a mother. You can't hold on to grudges, and you can't be unhappy."

I pulled out the ultrasound results and planned to place them in Ian's study.

Ian spent time in the study every night.

Whether reading or working, it had become a routine part of his life.

We've always been an open-minded couple, giving each other personal space.

He had his study, and I had the guest room. The spaces where we handled our own things without disturbing each other.

Even though it wasn't my birthday, I still wanted to share the pregnancy news with him on this special day.

I walked into his study. I sat in his chair, and mimicked his working posture, making sure he could find the surprise as soon as he reached for it.

I noticed a locked drawer, and it seemed he had hurriedly forgotten to remove the key.

Almost involuntarily, I opened the drawer, and an old, yellowed notebook lay inside.

The notebook seemed to be frequently opened, with its corners curled. On the first page, bold words read, "To My Dearest Her."

I smiled bashfully.

I never thought Ian could be so secretly romantic, writing me love letters in secret.

Ian and I were each other's first love, so I naturally assumed that "her" referred to me.

It wasn't until I opened the journal, feeling smug, that reality hit me hard like a slap to the face.

"Eliana, could it be that heaven has blessed me, giving me another version of you?

She's actually your younger sister, no wonder you two look so alike.

But her personality is so different from yours. She's dull, rigid, and stubborn.

Eliana, I can't stand life without you. Every day feels like suffocating. Only when I see her face, which looks like yours, can I fool myself into believing you're still alive.

Eliana, you two are truly sisters. After spending some time with her, I've realized your sister is actually quite endearing. I see more and more of you in her!

Eliana, I don't love her. I really don't, but I can't bear a world without you. It's too painful.

Eliana, I've decided to marry her. I won't fall in love with her, but I'll take care of her and protect her the way you did. My heart will always belong to you.

Eliana, after all these years of marriage, I'm starting to feel conflicted.

Eliana, if you're watching over me from above, could you send me a sign? Should I try to forget you?

Eliana, I miss you so much!"

...

Every word was a declaration of love for another woman.

That woman was my own sister, Eliana Torres.

And I, Zoey Torres, had been nothing but a replacement for my sister all along.

As I closed the journal, I realized that tears had already been streaming down my face.

My heart was a mix of grief and fury, a torrent of emotions so overwhelming that I struggled to breathe.

Seven years of what I thought was deep, genuine love had only been a carefully planned deception; what I believed to be sincere affection was nothing more than nostalgia for a lost love.

I was so shocked I could barely stand.

All the doubts I had in the past suddenly started to make sense.

I looked at the gray heart marked on Ian's desk calendar.

Today wasn't my birthday.

Today was the anniversary of the day the woman Ian loved most died.

A sudden realization hit me. Despite feeling unwell, I threw on my coat and rushed out.

If Ian still loved my sister, then he would definitely be there now!

When I hurried to the Tanaxes Cemetery, Ian was indeed there.

My parents were there too.

"Ian, it must have been hard for you all these years, always thinking about Eliana and visiting her on this day every year."

"Eliana was the love of my life. I will never forget her."

Ian's gaze was full of determination, staring lovingly at the photo on the tombstone.

I knew that look all too well.

He often looked at me that same way.

Staring at my face, which resembled my sister's so much.

"She doesn't know, does she?"

"I won't let Zoey find out."

"That's for the best. That girl has a bad temper and an awful personality, nothing like Eliana.

"You and Eliana were meant to be together. It's all that girl's fault, insisting on celebrating a birthday!

"Now, just let her take Eliana's place and stay by your side. It's her penance, and it'll bring some peace to Eliana's spirit."

Ian quietly stared at Eliana's tombstone. "I will love Eliana forever, always!"

His words nearly made me lose my balance.

I had the pain of being used as a stand-in.

I was helpless of being manipulated by my own parents.

My stomach churned with nausea, and my hand gripped the tree trunk so hard that I almost tore the bark off.

To my parents, I didn't even deserve a name. I was just "that girl."

All the strange things that happened when I introduced Ian to my parents suddenly made sense in this moment.

They knew. They had known all along!

They knew that the boyfriend Eliana had been with for four years was Ian!

No wonder they knew Ian didn't like sweets; No wonder they knew Ian liked lilies.

No wonder they knew Ian was allergic to peanuts...

All those actions weren't to impress my boyfriend. It was because Ian was already the son-in-law they approved of.

The one they had approved of was my sister's partner.

Not far away, Ian continued to play the role of the perfect son-in-law, exchanging pleasantries and making promises to my parents.

But how much of this concern was because he was my husband, and how much was because he was my sister's lover?

The man in front of me seemed utterly fake.

He still couldn't forget my sister. Now he had me, too, with my parents' full support. What a winner in life!

I watched as Ian helped my mother walk away, and a cold emptiness filled my heart.

I stood in front of Eliana's grave. I stared at the black-and-white photo of her face, which looked so much like mine. I felt a wave of sorrow and anger rise within me.

Once, neither of us wanted the other around; but later, we became each other's only support.

During that era of strict family planning, my parents desperately wanted a son. Eliana was unwanted, born to take care of the brother they hoped for.

Even when my mother was pregnant with me, Eliana was already told that she had to take care of her future brother, love him, and let him have his way in everything.

Eliana, though young and confused, realized that once a brother came, she might lose the parents' love.

She once told me that she secretly felt relieved when her expected brother turned out to be a sister.

But fate seemed to enjoy playing jokes, and the son my mother had so eagerly awaited became an unwanted daughter.

My mother even injured herself in a conflict with the family planning officers, trying to avoid the policy, and lost the ability to have more children.

She was filled with both anger and resentment when she saw me, the one who crushed her hopes. She viewed me as an alien and despising me for not being what she had wanted.

Eliana and I had completely different personalities. She was always positive, lively, and sensible.

I, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. I was quiet, withdrawn, and reserved.

Gradually, my mother came to terms with the reality of not having a son and began pouring all her care and attention into Eliana.

In truth, my parents were always calculating, assessing early on which of us would be more successful and bring them more pride.

Because of this, my life in that household grew increasingly unbearable.

My father was indifferent, and my mother resented me.

Only Eliana cared about me.

When my mother planned to send me off to work after middle school, it was Eliana who stood up to all the pressure and insisted that I go to high school and take the college entrance exams.

"Zoey, don't listen to Mom. You have to study hard. Education is the only way out, the only way to succeed.

"Zoey, don't worry about money. Just focus on your exams, I'll cover your tuition with my part-time jobs.

"Zoey, there are a lot of good colleges in Ramirez. Work hard and get into one, and we can be together!"

It was Eliana's encouragement that helped me block out all of my mother's hurtful words.

It gave me the strength to break free from my family's cage and the courage to explore the world outside.

Unfortunately, I didn't make it to Ramirez and ended up in Coleman instead.

Eliana and I had planned it out. She would graduate first, find a stable job. Once I graduated, I'd go join her.

Although we couldn't see each other often, we spoke on the phone regularly.

"Zoey, I'm in love! I really like him!

"Zoey, when you come to Ramirez, I'll introduce him to you.

"Zoey, don't worry, even if I'm in a relationship, I'll still take care of you.

"Zoey, if you meet someone nice in college, you can date too, but make sure you take care of yourself."

I knew Eliana was in a relationship, but I had never met him.

I genuinely wished for Eliana to find happiness.

In this world, she was the person I most wanted to see happy.

But all of those beautiful hopes were shattered on my birthday.

"You're having a birthday! 20 is such a big deal, I'll buy you a cream cake to celebrate.

"Zoey, I've made it to Coleman. We'll see each other soon! Are you excited?

"Zoey, happy birthday! Stay happy every day..."

But then, a sudden car accident took Eliana's life, and with it, all my happiness.

My parents rushed over and immediately started blaming and hitting me.

In their eyes, I was the one responsible for Eliana's death.

"It must've been you, you brat! You're the one who wanted the cake, and that's what killed Eliana...

"Why didn't you die instead, you worthless burden!

"I should've drowned you when you were born.

"You're a curse, you! You're the one who killed your sister!"

...

But my dear Eliana, the only person who ever stood up for me, was gone.

I touched the black-and-white photo of her radiant smile and cried in anguish.

"Eliana..."

"Eliana..."

"Why did it have to end this way?

You were always so good to me, so good that I can't even blame you.

I thought I had finally come out from the shadow of your absence.

But now, my beloved husband and my own parents have already teamed up to drag me into the abyss."