When I got home for the holidays, my mom dropped a bombshell that my cousin was going abroad to study using my savings.

My parents didn’t care that I threatened to die rather than accept it. They shoved my bank card into my aunt’s hands like it was nothing.

Three years later, my cousin returned after his overseas education was complete. While abroad, he even met the daughter of the wealthiest man in Albertine City. Now, he had both a successful career and a powerful marriage.

As for me, since my parents sabotaged every chance I had, I failed my graduate school and civil service exams. Moreover, I was forced into a blind date and married the woman that was arranged by my aunt. So, I was doomed to live the same backbreaking, dirt-covered life as my parents.

——

When the Day of The Death Festival came, I returned home to visit the grave and remember the death. That was when I overheard my mother, sobbing in front of my grandfather’s grave.

“Dad, don’t worry. I took good care of my little sister. I fulfilled all your expectations.”

I crept up the hillside quietly. My grandfather’s gravestone was just ahead. From a distance, I could see my parents kneeling before the grave while continuously scattering the flowers in their hands.

“Dad, rest easy. You asked me to be kind, to be patient, to take care of my sister and I did.”

“Now, her son, Mateo, has returned from studying abroad. He got a great job at a good company and even found himself a rich wife. They’re such a perfect match! Mateo’s enjoying the happiness in his life.”

My father assisted my mother in arranging the offerings and food for the death and then paid respect to my grandfather’s tombstone, then said, “Dad, as your son-in-law, I asked you to please pray for our family and Santiago.”

My mother scoffed in annoyance. “Enough. Don’t mention that useless one.” She waved a dismissive hand, sneering. “Look at Mateo, then look at him. What a disgrace. He couldn’t even pass the civil service exam and couldn’t get into grad school. Thank God Mateo had the guts to study abroad and marry rich people. Then look at him, acting all bitter just because we didn’t bring him here. So unlucky …”

A grin spread across my father's face as he stood there. He appeased her, "Yes. Please, don't be mad, Dear. Dad’s watching.”

However, my mother did not care. She complained, “If I hadn’t paid for Mateo's studies back then, how could he be as successful as he is right now? He was born for wealth and prosperity. Looks like I made the right choice.”

My father sighed. “You can’t blame Santiago for all of that happened. You used his money to send Mateo abroad. He never really got over it.”

“We couldn’t let Mateo suffer, could we? My sister only has one son!” my mother refuted him.

I had lost count of how many times I’d heard those words. Each one was a dagger to the heart cutting deeper every time. I thought I’d grown numb to their cruelty, but it still hurt. So much that I could barely stand because the one who was supposed to study abroad … was me.

At that time, it was my mother who ripped my bank card from my hands and handed it to my aunt. The money in the card was everything that I saved since childhood from scholarships and wages from years of part-time jobs. It was meant for my future, for my graduate studies.

However, my mother tricked me, took it all and gave it away without hesitation to my aunt.

My mother had always favored my cousin, Mateo. I had known that since I was a child. My father permitted it though reluctantly, even when she gave the money to my aunt back then.

What was I to this family? Was I just a stepping stone for Mateo?

Well, for my mother, I was nothing but a fool who was dumb and easy to manipulate.

I was her real son, her flesh and blood. Yet, she always chose someone else over me. All they ever left me with were wounds.

Since I did not look where I was going, my foot slipped. The damp hillside was covered in thick, tangled weeds and I was covertly climbing the mountain but accidentally missed my footing and tumbled down the slope.

"Show yourself!"

Since the sound was not small, it startled them. My mother’s face darkened as soon as she saw me.

She immediately cursed me, "You worthless thing! I told you not to come and you still showed up!”

I struggled to my feet. My arm was scraped and bleeding and my face burned where it had been scratched by the rough earth.

I placed a large basket of paper flowers on the ground, each one of them was carefully folded by my own hands.

However, my mother looked at them with sheer disgust and said, "Take them away, take them away! My father doesn't need your offerings. Mateo already burned his. Get them out of here!"

With a single kick, she scattered the paper flower, that I personally folded, across the dirt.

The mountains were eerily quiet. I wiped the blood from my arm with the corner of my sleeve and crouched down, then picked up the paper flowers one by one from the muddy ground.

At least I made it down the mountain before sunset, since today is the Day of the Death Festival and our family had a tradition to gather at the old house for dinner.

As soon as I stepped into the courtyard, my mother poked her head out and started yelling, "You little brat! What took you so long? The whole family’s been waiting for you! Where’s your dignity as a man?"

I glanced inside. My aunt was sitting in the living room with Mateo and his fiancée. My parents hovered around them. They were eagerly handing them snacks and fruit and chatting away with bright smiles.

Meanwhile, my wife, Tia Perez, was slouching on the couch, fully engrossed in her phone. The sound of a chess game played from the speakers as she absentmindedly nudged our daughter’s baby walker with her knee.

When she saw me, my daughter’s face crumpled and, her tiny lips quivered before she burst into tears, looking utterly wronged.

Ignoring the pain from my wounds, I stepped forward and gently picked her up, rocking her in my arms.

Looking around at the lively, cheerful scene, then back at my daughter sobbing in my arms, a wave of regret and sorrow washed over me. No, we were less than outsiders.

When he saw me, Mateo smirked and tugged his fiancée closer as he pointed in my direction and said mockingly, "Oh wow, look at my cousin. He treats his daughter like she’s a precious little princess. So delicate!"

My aunt burst out laughing.

My mother doubled over, clutching the armrest of the couch. "Isn't that the truth? He coddles her like she’s made of glass! I can’t even scold her as a grandmother without him throwing a fit."

"Mom," I finally spoke, my voice firm. "She’s just a child. It wouldn’t hurt for her grandmother to look after her a little."

Tia shot me a glare. Her big eyes that were decorated with green eyeshadow flashed with irritation as she scolded, “Enough already. Is a grown man nagging like this? Go and make dinner. I’m starving."

A bitter resentment swelled inside me, but there was nowhere to vent it.

Silently, I strapped my daughter’s walker near the kitchen door and started preparing the ingredients.

My wounds from tumbling down the mountain were still fresh, the skin raw and unhealed. After an entire day of climbing, I hadn’t even had a sip of water. The words my parents said on the mountain echoed in my mind and made my heart ache even more.

My heart is getting sadder and sadder. For me, the house had become more like a cold, lifeless prison. These were supposed to be the people closest to me. And yet, the only person they ever smiled at was Mateo.

I gritted my teeth as I prepared the food. Is this really the life I am meant to live?

Mateo's laughter that erupted from the living room, pulled me back to the past.

When we were kids, my mother had always favored Mateo. Back then, we still lived in my grandparents’ house with my aunt.

Mateo was a late bloomer. He was short and scrawny for his age. My aunt, who always worried about his nutrition, constantly fed him supplemental vitamins. As a result, Mateo grew up as a short, chubby and dark-skinned child. Since his feet were wide and thick, he frequently outgrew his shoes and clothes.

However, instead of throwing them away, they were passed down to me. Since my mother never once bought me new shoes, I was always stuck wearing Mateo’s hand-me-downs. The shoes were either too loose or too tight.

Before school each morning, I stuffed my socks with wads of paper to keep my heels from slipping out. That way, no one would laugh at me.

Each time, I watched other kids play basketball with envy. I wanted to join them and yet how could I, when I didn’t even have a decent pair of shoes?

My mother would sneer at me. She told me I dressed carelessly and looked unkempt. She said I wasn’t confident, that I didn’t carry myself like a man. She said I wasn’t as bold or as masculine as Mateo.

However, it always skipped my mother's mind that whenever Mateo needed to buy a new outfit or a pair of properly fitting shoes, the money to buy them came after my aunt begged her for it and yet, when it came to me, she would always say, "I don't have any money."

My aunt never had a job. Whenever she ran out of money, she would go straight to my mother. Not only that, she sent Mateo to live in our house, then she taught him how to take my things and how to ask for pocket money.

As a child, I had no concept of money. Plus, my mother would always whisper to my father and me about how hard life was for my aunt and her family. Over time, I began to believe it too. We were family, after all. We lived under the same roof. So, helping them out wasn’t a big deal … right?

It all changed when she deceived me. She told me the bank was pressuring us over the mortgage and that we were drowning in debt. She begged me to hand over my savings to help the family through an emergency crisis.

When I finally gave her everything that I had, then she turned her body and gave all the money to my aunt. She did it so my cousin, Mateo, had the money to study abroad.

At that time, something clicked in my mind and I felt wronged. I almost fell to my knees and pleaded with my mother to explain.

She just sighed and said, "Mateo wants to go abroad. You should let him."

She continued, "Your grandfather’s last wish was for me to take care of my little sister. Have some understanding, will you?” “

“You know for yourself that your aunt has a tough life. Besides, Mateo is always more capable than you. He’s going to be more successful man too! What are you so jealous of?" she then added.

Even though I had wept and begged to them, even at a point I had refused to eat, but all I got was mockery.

That bank account had held every scholarship I had earned since high school. They held every cent I made from part-time jobs since I was a high school student. That was my capital for studying abroad and it held a total of thirty-seven thousand and five hundred dollars.

"What are you doing standing and daydreaming there like that? Your brother and his fiancée are too starving!"

She stood in the kitchen doorway as she impatiently urged me, "Whatever’s ready, bring it out! Your brother and his fiancée have a weak body. They have to eat first! They can’t go hungry!"

She looked so worried for their wellbeing.

I made sixteen dishes to be served on the table. However, by the time I set the last dish on the table, the only things left were just some scraps. There were some garlic, chili peppers and a bit of vegetable broth left. So, I had picked through the remains to search for something edible. However, there was nothing left anymore.

Forget it I thought.

It had always been like this. Then and now.

After the meal was over, my mom held Mateo's girlfriend's hand and kept praising how pretty and elegant she was and how well the two of them matched. "Oh my, Mateo, you have such a good eye! Your girlfriend is so elegant and beautiful! The two of you are a perfect match! You're truly a golden couple. Good! Good! You've done better than your cousin."

Mateo's fiancé blushed and said bashfully, "Auntie, stop it! You’re making me shy. It’s all thanks to Mateo's talent. He shined at the seminar and that’s how we met! If he were not so outstanding back then, I never would’ve had the chance to date such an amazing man."

Mateo who was sitting beside her, squeezed her hand. His face was full with a smile. "I’m the lucky one, really. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve my little princess.”

They were sitting on the sofa. Usually, he would sit slouching on the sofa, but at that moment, he sat up straighter than I’d ever seen him before, back straight, full of pride.

Tia, who sat across the room, let out a giggle while her eyes glued to her phone. I turned to look at her.

I had been a top student all my life. I had been accepted to Albertine University and planned to build my future in Albertine City. However, in the end, I married Tia, the daughter of a local landlord who made a living collecting rent.

That year, I should never have married her.

After my dreams of studying abroad were crushed, I did not give up because I shifted my focus to the civil service exams. However, when the background checks came out, someone deliberately reported me.

Gossip spread like wildfire among the neighbors and then my mother forced me to kneel at my grandfather’s grave. "Swear to me," she had said, "that you’ll never take the exams again whether it is for postgraduate entrance examination or the civil service examination. Never do anything that embarrasses me again."

I secretly rented a place and tried studying for graduate school entrance exams. However, when she found out, she burned all my study materials and she nearly set fire to the entire apartment.

My girlfriend of four years broke up with me right after meeting my family. Before my aunt arranged an "ideal marriage" for me, she convinced my mother by saying, "I had someone read his fortune. Your son is destined for a life of hard labor. My son is destined for greatness. He should just marry and farm like a good, honest man. That’s his fate."