Chapter 1
I sat on the couch with a mug of tea going cold in my hands. The television played the New Year's Eve countdown from Times Square. People in heavy coats screamed and waved at the camera. Confetti fell like snow. I watched it alone.
Julian said he was at his mother's house. He said she wanted company for the ball drop. He said he'd be home late. I told him it was fine. I always told him it was fine.
I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my feed. Friends posted photos from parties. Couples kissed at midnight in blurry selfies. I liked a few without reading the captions. Then I stopped.
A street interview video. The thumbnail showed a crowd downtown. I almost scrolled past it. Then I saw his face.
Julian.
He stood under a string of lights outside a restaurant I recognized. He was laughing. Really laughing. The kind of open, easy laugh I hadn't heard from him in so long I'd forgotten what it sounded like. Next to him stood Natasha Franklin. Her arm looped through his. On his other side, her daughter Chana held his hand and grinned up at him like he'd hung the moon.
I turned up the volume.
The interviewer, a young woman with a microphone and a bright smile, asked, "Who are you celebrating with tonight?"
Julian looked at Natasha. Then at Chana. His expression went soft. "The two most important people in my life," he said.
I stopped breathing.
The interviewer laughed. "That's so sweet! Are you guys family?"
Julian hesitated. Just a second. Then he smiled again. "It's complicated," he said. "But yeah. They're my family."
Natasha looked down, her face the picture of shy grace. Chana squeezed his hand.
The interviewer leaned in. "Okay, I have to ask—there's clearly something here. What's the story?"
Julian's smile turned a little sheepish. A little proud. "I've had feelings for her for a long time," he said. He looked at Natasha when he said it. "I think everyone knew except me."
Natasha's hand went to her mouth. She shook her head like she was overwhelmed. The comment section below the video exploded with heart emojis.
I watched it again.
Then again.
Each time, the same sick drop in my stomach. The same heat crawling up my neck. The same cold, clear thought: *He lied.*
I set the mug down on the coffee table. My hands didn't shake. I stood up, grabbed my coat from the chair, and pulled it on over my sweatshirt and leggings. I didn't change. I didn't fix my hair. I picked up my keys and walked out the door.
The restaurant was twenty minutes away. I drove in silence. No music. No radio. Just the hum of the engine and the sound of my own breathing.
I parked across the street and looked through the window. There they were. Same booth as the video. Dessert plates on the table. Chana leaning against Julian's arm, half asleep. Natasha laughing at something he said.
I got out of the car and crossed the street. The cold bit through my coat. I pushed open the restaurant door.
The warmth inside hit me first. Then the noise. Laughter. Silverware on plates. A couple near the door turned to look at me. I walked past them.
Julian saw me when I was three tables away. His face went blank. Then tight.
I stopped at the edge of their booth. "Hi," I said.
Natasha's eyes went wide. She sat up straighter. Chana blinked awake and stared at me.
Julian didn't move. "Daisy," he said. His voice was flat. "What are you doing here?"
"I saw the video," I said.
His jaw clenched. "What video?"
I pulled out my phone and held it up. Hit play. The sound of his own voice filled the space between us. *I've had feelings for her for a long time.*
People at nearby tables stopped talking. I didn't care.
"You said you were at your mother's house," I said.
Julian's face flushed. "Daisy, don't do this here."
"How long?" I asked. My voice didn't shake. "How long has this been going on?"
Natasha made a small, wounded sound. She put her hand on her chest. "Daisy, I—I had no idea he said that. I didn't know—"
"Stop," I said. I didn't look at her. I kept my eyes on Julian. "Answer me."
He stood up. His chair scraped against the floor. "You're being hysterical," he said. His voice was low and sharp. "You're embarrassing yourself."
"I'm embarrassing *myself*?" I repeated.
He grabbed my arm. Not hard. But firm. "Outside," he said. "Now."
I pulled my arm back. "Don't touch me."
He stepped closer. His voice dropped to a hiss. "You want to do this in front of everyone? Fine. Let's go outside and talk like adults."
I looked at Natasha. She had tears in her eyes. Perfect, glistening tears. Chana clung to her mother's side, staring at me like I was the villain.
I turned and walked toward the door. Julian followed.
The cold hit me again when I stepped outside. The sidewalk was slick. Ice in the cracks. My breath came out in clouds.
Julian shut the door behind us. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he said.
Chapter 2
The cold air bit into my lungs as Julian's words hung between us. His face was hard, angry—a mask I'd seen him wear more and more often lately. But this time, I wasn't backing down.
"You lied to me," I said. My voice came out louder than I expected. "You said you were at your mother's house. You've been lying to me for years, haven't you?"
Julian's jaw tightened. "You're being dramatic. This isn't about—"
"Don't you dare tell me what this is about!" The words tore out of me. "You stood there on camera and told the whole world you had feelings for her. For years. While you were married to me."
People passing by on the sidewalk slowed to watch. I didn't care. Let them watch. Let them see what happened when a man decided his wife wasn't enough.
"Daisy, stop it." Julian's voice dropped to that warning tone I'd heard so many times before. "You're making a scene."
"I'm making a scene?" I laughed, but it came out sharp and bitter. "You're the one who made a scene, Julian. You and your public confession. Did you think I'd never see it? Did you think I was that stupid?"
The restaurant door opened behind us. Natasha stepped out, Chana trailing behind her. She wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes wide and hurt. "Daisy, please," she said softly. "I didn't know he was going to say that. I would never—"
"Save it," I snapped. I couldn't look at her. If I did, I'd see the years of her calculated innocence, her perfect tears, her endless crises that always seemed to require Julian's immediate attention. "I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to my husband. The man who swore to love me."
Chana pressed herself against Julian's leg, her small face tilted up at the adults. She looked scared. I almost felt sorry for her. Almost.
Julian stepped closer to me. "This is exactly what I'm talking about. You're out of control. We can talk about this at home, but—"
"No." I shook my head. "We talk about it now. Right here. Tell me the truth for once in your life. Tell me you don't love her. Tell me you haven't been in love with her this whole time."
His face went pale. He looked trapped. For a moment, I thought he might actually answer. Then his eyes flicked to Natasha, and his expression shuttered.
"Daisy, stop," he said again. "You're not thinking clearly. Let's go home and—"
"No!" I stepped backward, my hands shaking. "I'm not going anywhere with you. Not until you tell me the truth."
That's when I saw it happen.
Chana, still pressed against Julian's side, reached into her coat pocket. She pulled out a half-eaten caramel apple—the kind with the sticky red candy coating. She looked up at the adults, her eyes flat and assessing. Then she dropped it.
The caramel apple hit the icy pavement right in front of me. The candy splattered across the frozen concrete like blood.
I stepped back again, gesturing wildly. "Julian, for God's sake, just tell me—"
My heel caught the edge of the splattered caramel. The world tilted. I felt myself falling before I registered what was happening.
The concrete rushed up to meet me. My stomach hit first. The impact knocked the breath out of my lungs. Pain exploded through my abdomen—sharp, immediate, blinding. I curled around myself, gasping.
For a moment, everything was still. The cold seeped through my clothes. My hands pressed against the rough concrete. Then the nausea hit, and I retched onto the frozen ground.
I couldn't stand. I couldn't breathe. The pain was too much.
"Julian," I gasped. "Help me. Please. I can't—I can't get up."
I looked up at him through tears. He stood there, looking down at me. His face was a mask of disgust.
"Get up, Daisy," he said. His voice was cold. "Stop putting on a show. You're embarrassing yourself."
I stared at him in disbelief. "What? I—I can't. I'm hurt. I need—"
"You're fine," he cut me off. "You're just trying to guilt me. It won't work."
Behind him, Natasha gasped. "Oh my God, is she okay? Should we call someone?"
But I barely heard her. I was focused on Julian's face. On the way he looked at me like I was nothing. Like my pain was an inconvenience.
Then Chana started crying.
She threw herself against Julian's leg, her small body shaking with sobs. "Uncle Julian, I'm scared," she wailed. "She's scaring me. Make her stop. Make her go away."
Julian's face softened immediately. He bent down and picked her up, cradling her against his chest. "It's okay, sweetie," he murmured. "Don't look. She's just having a tantrum."
He turned away from me. Toward Natasha. Toward the restaurant door.
"Julian," I called out. "Please. I need help. I can't—"
He didn't look back. He took Natasha's hand, and together they walked away, Chana still crying dramatically in his arms. They left me there, writhing on the frozen sidewalk, the pain in my stomach getting worse by the second.
I fumbled for my phone, lying on the ground beside me. My fingers were numb, but I managed to dial 911.
"Help," I whispered when the operator answered. "Please. I'm pregnant. I fell. I'm on Pine Street, outside Rosario's. Please hurry. I think—I think something's wrong."
The operator's voice was calm, professional. "Help is on the way, ma'am. Can you stay on the line?"
I closed my eyes, the cold seeping deeper into my bones. "I'll try," I said. "But please hurry. Please."
The last thing I saw before the darkness started to creep in was Julian's back, walking away into the night with Natasha and Chana, leaving me alone on the frozen ground.
Chapter 3
Natasha touched Julian's arm. That small gesture. The one I'd seen a thousand times. Her fingers rested there for just a moment, light and familiar. She leaned in close and whispered something I couldn't hear.
Julian nodded. He looked down at Chana, still sobbing against his chest. Then he looked at Natasha. Not at me.
"We should go," Natasha said softly. Her voice carried just enough to reach me. "This is too much for Chana. She's terrified."
I tried to push myself up. My arms shook. The pain in my stomach was getting worse. Sharper. Like something inside me was tearing.
"Julian," I said. My voice came out weak. "Please don't leave me here."
He took Natasha's hand. Then Chana's. His fingers laced through theirs like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Julian!" I called out louder. "I'm hurt. I need help. Please."
He didn't turn around. He just walked. The three of them moved together toward the parking lot. Their silhouettes got smaller under the streetlights. Chana's sobs faded into the distance.
I watched them disappear around the corner. Then I was alone.
The cold seeped through my coat, through my clothes, into my skin. The sidewalk was frozen solid beneath me. Ice crystals glittered in the cracks. My breath came out in short white clouds.
I tried to move again. The pain exploded through my abdomen. I gasped and curled tighter around myself. Something was very wrong. I knew it in my bones.
A couple walked past on the other side of the street. They glanced over but didn't stop. Maybe they thought I was drunk. Maybe they just didn't want to get involved.
I pressed my hand against my stomach. It felt wrong. Too tender. Too much pressure building inside.
My phone. Where was my phone?
I turned my head slowly, searching the ground. There. A few inches away, face down on the concrete. I stretched my arm out. My fingers brushed the edge of the case. I pulled it closer.
My hands were shaking so badly I could barely hold it. I fumbled with the screen. Tried to unlock it. Failed. Tried again.
Finally, it opened. I tapped the phone icon. My vision blurred. I blinked hard and found the keypad. Nine. One. One.
It rang twice.
"911, what's your emergency?"
The operator's voice was calm. Professional. It made me want to cry.
"I need help," I whispered. "I fell. I'm pregnant. I think—I think something's really wrong."
"Okay, ma'am. Can you tell me where you are?"
"Pine Street." My teeth were chattering. "Outside Rosario's restaurant. I can't get up. It hurts too much."
"Help is on the way. Stay on the line with me, okay? What's your name?"
"Daisy. Daisy Howard."
"Daisy, I need you to stay as still as you can. The ambulance will be there soon. Can you tell me where you're hurt?"
"My stomach." The words came out in gasps. "I fell on my stomach. And there's pain. So much pain. Like something's tearing inside."
"How far along are you?"
"Twelve weeks."
There was a pause. Just a second. But I heard it. "Okay, Daisy. The paramedics are three minutes away. I'm going to stay right here with you until they arrive."
I closed my eyes. The cold was getting deeper. My fingers were going numb. I couldn't feel my toes anymore.
"Daisy? Are you still with me?"
"Yeah," I whispered. "I'm here."
"Good. Keep talking to me. Is anyone there with you?"
"No." The word came out flat. Empty. "My husband left. He walked away."
Another pause. "I'm sorry, Daisy. But help is almost there. Just hold on."
I heard the siren before I saw the lights. Red and white flashing against the dark buildings. The ambulance pulled up to the curb. Doors slammed. Footsteps rushed toward me.
"Ma'am, can you hear me?"
I opened my eyes. A paramedic knelt beside me. Young guy with kind eyes. His partner was already pulling equipment from the ambulance.
"I'm pregnant," I said. "Twelve weeks. I fell."
His face went serious. "Okay. We're going to take care of you. Can you tell me where it hurts most?"
"My stomach. Lower abdomen. It's bad."
He nodded and looked at his partner. They moved fast. Blood pressure cuff. Stethoscope. Questions I barely registered. Then they lifted me onto a stretcher. The movement sent fresh waves of pain through me. I bit down on my lip to keep from screaming.
The inside of the ambulance was warm. Bright lights. Beeping monitors. The female paramedic started an IV while her partner radioed ahead to the hospital.
"Possible miscarriage in progress. Twelve weeks gestation. Patient reports severe abdominal pain after a fall. BP is low. We're five minutes out."
Miscarriage. The word hung in the air like smoke.
I turned my face toward the window. Watched the streetlights blur past. Somewhere out there, Julian was with Natasha and Chana. Probably taking them home. Making sure they were comfortable. Safe.
He had no idea what he'd left behind on that frozen sidewalk.
Or maybe he did. Maybe he just didn't care.
The ambulance pulled into the ER bay. More voices. More hands. They wheeled me through automatic doors into a hallway that smelled like antiseptic and floor wax.
A doctor appeared. Older woman with gray hair pulled back tight. She looked at the chart, then at me.
"Daisy Howard?"
I nodded.
"I'm Dr. Reyes. We're going to get you into an exam room and see what's going on. How's your pain right now?"
"Bad," I whispered. "Really bad."
She nodded and said something to a nurse. They wheeled me into a small room with blue curtains. The nurse helped me change into a gown. Every movement hurt.
Dr. Reyes came back with an ultrasound machine. She squeezed gel onto my stomach. The coldness made me flinch.
"This might be uncomfortable," she said. "I need to check on the baby."
She moved the wand across my abdomen. Her eyes were fixed on the screen. I watched her face. Watched the small crease form between her eyebrows. Watched her lips press together.
She set the wand down and pulled off her gloves.
"Daisy," she said quietly. "I'm very sorry. There's no heartbeat. You've lost the pregnancy."
The words didn't land at first. They just floated there. No heartbeat. Lost the pregnancy.
Then they hit. All at once. Like a second fall.
"No," I whispered. "No, that can't—"
"I'm so sorry," Dr. Reyes said again. "The fall caused significant trauma. There's also evidence of uterine damage. I need to run more tests, but I'm concerned about the extent of the internal injury."
I couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. The baby. Our baby. Gone.
"What does that mean?" I asked. "The uterine damage. What does that mean?"
Dr. Reyes sat down on the stool beside the bed. Her face was kind but serious. "It means there's a risk of permanent infertility. The trauma was severe. You're going to need specialized surgical intervention—the kind we don't have the equipment for here. There's a reproductive medicine clinic in New York City that handles cases like this. I'll make the referral tonight."
New York. Surgery. Infertility.
I turned my face toward the wall. The tears came then. Silent. Hot. Endless.
"Is there someone I can call for you?" Dr. Reyes asked. "Your husband? Family?"
I thought of Julian. Walking away. Holding Natasha's hand.
"No," I said. "There's no one."
But that wasn't true. There was someone.
I reached for my phone on the bedside table. Found my attorney's number. Victor Hale. I'd hired him six months ago for something unrelated. He was good. Thorough. Discreet.
I typed out a text with shaking fingers.
*I need you to file divorce papers immediately. I'll send you the details in the morning. And I need copies of all my medical records from tonight. Official copies. Stamped. I want them delivered to my husband with the divorce papers.*
I hit send. Then I set the phone down and closed my eyes.
The baby was gone. My marriage was over. And I was flying to New York City to try to salvage whatever was left of my future.
Julian had made his choice on that frozen sidewalk.
Now I was making mine.