Chapter 3
The bills come in white envelopes. Mount Sinai's logo in the corner. Blue ink. Professional font. I stack them on the desk in the guest room where I've been sleeping for two weeks.
Cardiology consultation. Emergency room visit. Lab work. Prescription refills. The numbers climb. I add them in my head because I don't want to see the total written down.
My personal account can't cover it. Not anymore. Not after three years of this.
I could ask Evander. His name is on the joint account. He wouldn't even notice the charge. But I know what he'd say. I can hear his voice in my head, cold and precise: *Another bill, Genevieve? How much is this costing me?*
I sit at the desk. I look at the pill bottles lined up on the windowsill. Orange plastic. White labels. Dr. Mercer's name printed at the bottom of each one.
The beta-blocker is almost empty. So is the anticoagulant. The refill date was yesterday.
I pick up my phone. I open the pharmacy app. I stare at the refill button.
I close the app.
I tell myself it's just for a few days. Just until I figure something out. Just until I can think.
I don't refill them.
Day one is fine. I feel lighter, actually. Less fog in my head. I make coffee. I water the plants. I sit by the window and watch the street below.
Day two, my hands shake a little. I assume it's caffeine. I switch to tea.
Day three, my chest feels tight. Not pain. Just pressure. Like someone's palm pressed flat against my sternum. I lie down. It passes.
Day four, I wake up at 3 a.m. drenched in sweat. My heart is beating wrong. Too fast, then too slow, then a strange flutter that makes me sit up gasping. I drink water. I count my breaths. Eventually it stops.
Evander doesn't notice. He leaves early. He comes home late. On day four he doesn't come home at all.
Day five, I'm making breakfast. Oatmeal. I'm stirring the pot when the kitchen tilts sideways.
I grab the counter. My hand slips. The spoon clatters into the sink. The floor rushes up.
I don't feel myself hit the ground. I just know suddenly I'm looking at the underside of the table, and my body is doing something I can't control. Shaking. Seizing. My teeth slam together. I taste copper.
The fragment. The bullet fragment two millimeters from my left ventricle. It's moving. Or my heart is moving around it. I can't tell. I just know it feels like something inside me is tearing.
I can't reach my phone. I can't reach anything. I try to call out but nothing comes. Just a sound like choking.
The world goes white at the edges.
Somewhere far away, I hear a crash. Footsteps. A woman's voice, high and frightened.
"Oh my God. Oh my God. Yes, I need an ambulance—"
Clara Hayes. My neighbor. The one who always smiles at me in the hallway.
I try to say thank you. Nothing comes out.
The white edges close in.
I wake up behind glass.
That's the first thing I notice. Everything is blurry and there's a wall between me and the world. No. Not a wall. A window. I'm in a room and people are walking past outside and no one is looking at me.
There are tubes in my arms. A clip on my finger. Something beeping in rhythm with my heart.
Mount Sinai. ICU. I know this room. I've been here before.
I try to sit up. A nurse appears beside me, her hand gentle on my shoulder.
"Easy," she says. "You're okay. You're safe."
I'm not okay. I know that. But I nod anyway.
"Your husband is here," she says quietly. Something in her voice makes me look at her face. She won't meet my eyes.
I turn my head toward the glass.
Evander is standing outside. Hands in his coat pockets. Charcoal overcoat. No scarf. He's staring at me through the glass, but his face is blank. Not worried. Not relieved. Just... waiting.
Dr. Mercer approaches him. I can't hear what he's saying, but I see his mouth moving. Explaining. Updating. Evander cuts him off with a single raised hand.
I watch Evander's mouth form the words: *"Is she stable?"*
Mercer nods.
Evander nods back. Once. Efficient. Then he turns toward the glass. Toward me. His voice carries through, loud and clear, like he wants to make sure I hear.
"Are you trying to guilt me into staying? Is dying your leverage now?"
The nurse beside me goes very still.
A passing nurse in the hallway stops walking. Mercer stares at Evander like he's spoken a language no one recognizes.
Evander straightens his tie. He turns. He walks away.
I watch him go. I watch the glass where he was standing. I watch the empty space.
The beeping of my heart monitor doesn't change. Steady. Even. Alive.
I close my eyes.
The nurse squeezes my hand. She doesn't say anything. There's nothing to say.
I lie there and listen to my heart. The one I broke saving his.
Chapter 4
I see them on the sidewalk outside our building.
Evander's coat is unbuttoned. Waverly stands close to him, her hand on his forearm. They're laughing about something. Her head is tilted back. The afternoon light catches her earrings.
I'm half a block away. I have a folder in my hand. Imaging results. Dr. Mercer wants to see Evander and me together next week to discuss options. I was going to tell him over dinner, but he hasn't been home for dinner in nine days.
So I walk toward them. Just to tell him. Just to say: *Thursday at two. Dr. Mercer's office. Please.*
Waverly sees me first.
Her smile drops. Her eyes go wide. She steps behind Evander's shoulder, one hand flying up to her chest like she's shielding herself. Like I'm coming at her with a knife.
I stop walking. I'm still ten feet away.
"Evander," I say. My voice is quiet. Steady. "I need to tell you something."
He turns. His face changes. Not surprise. Something colder. Annoyance.
"Genevieve." He steps in front of Waverly. His body a wall between us. "What are you doing?"
"I have an appointment next week. Dr. Mercer wants to see us both—"
"You need to leave her alone."
I blink. "What?"
"You heard me." His voice is low. Hard. The voice he uses in negotiations when someone won't back down. "This is harassment."
"I'm talking to you. I'm not—"
He moves.
One step forward. His hand comes up. Palm flat. He shoves me.
Not hard. Not violent. Just enough.
I stumble backward. My heel catches the curb. I go down.
The pavement is cold and sharp. My palms hit first, then my hip, then my shoulder. The folder scatters. White pages everywhere.
And then my chest.
Oh God. My chest.
It feels like something inside me snaps. Not breaks. Snaps. A wire pulled too tight. The pain shoots outward from the center, white-hot, blinding. I can't breathe. I try to pull air in and nothing comes.
The fragment. The bullet fragment. It's moving. Or my heart is slamming against it. I don't know. I just know I'm dying.
I hear Waverly's voice, high and thin. "Oh my God, is she okay?"
"She's fine." Evander's voice. Flat. "She does this."
I'm on my side now. Curled around the pain. My mouth is open but no sound comes out. Just this terrible gasping.
Footsteps. Not toward me. Away.
I force my eyes open. Evander has his hand on Waverly's shoulder. He's guiding her toward a black car idling at the curb. She looks back once, her face pale, and then they're inside. The door closes. The car pulls away.
I'm still on the ground.
Someone is running toward me. The doorman. His uniform jacket flapping. He drops to his knees beside me.
"Ma'am. Ma'am, can you hear me?"
I can't answer. The pain is eating me from the inside out.
He pulls out his phone. His voice shakes. "Yes, I need an ambulance. Woman collapsed. She's not breathing right. Yes, I'll stay on the line."
The world tilts. The sky is gray. I can see the tops of buildings, the bare branches of the trees lining the street. Everything is so far away.
I think: *He pushed me.*
I think: *He walked away.*
I think: *He left me here.*
The sirens come. Red lights flashing against the pavement. Hands lifting me onto something flat and hard. Voices asking questions I can't answer.
I close my eyes.
The beeping wakes me.
Steady. Rhythmic. I know that sound. I've heard it too many times.
Mount Sinai. ICU. Again.
There's a tube in my arm. A clip on my finger. The room is dim. It's night, I think. Or maybe just the blinds are closed.
Dr. Mercer is sitting in the chair beside my bed. He's not looking at his tablet. He's looking at me.
"Genevieve," he says quietly. "You're awake."
I try to speak. My throat is dry. He hands me a cup of water with a straw. I sip. It hurts to swallow.
"What happened?" I whisper.
"You had a severe arrhythmia. Your heart went into an unstable rhythm. The fragment—" He stops. He takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes. "You can't keep doing this."
"I didn't do anything."
"I know." His voice is very gentle. "But your body can't take much more. Another episode like this—" He pauses. "It could kill you. Not someday. Soon."
I stare at the ceiling. The tiles are white with small gray flecks. I count them. One. Two. Three.
"Is there something at home," Mercer says carefully, "that's making it hard for you to take care of yourself?"
I keep counting. Four. Five. Six.
"Genevieve."
"I'll be more careful," I say.
He's quiet for a long time. Then he stands. He writes something in my chart. He doesn't let me see it.
"Your husband is in the waiting room," he says. "Do you want me to send him in?"
I close my eyes. "Okay."
Mercer leaves. The door hisses shut.
I wait.
Evander comes in eleven minutes later. I know because I watch the clock on the wall. He's still wearing his coat. He doesn't take it off. He stands at the foot of the bed, hands in his pockets.
"They said you're stable," he says.
"Yes."
He nods. He pulls out his phone. He scrolls through something. Emails, maybe. Or messages.
I watch him. The light from his screen reflects on his face. Blue and cold.
"Evander," I say.
He doesn't look up. "What."
"You pushed me."
His thumb stops moving. He doesn't lift his eyes from the screen.
"You were upset," he says. "You came at Waverly. I had to protect her."
"I wasn't—"
"I have an early meeting." He pockets his phone. He turns toward the door. "I'll have someone pick you up when they discharge you."
"Evander."
He stops. His hand on the door handle.
"Don't do this again," he says. He still doesn't look at me. "Don't make scenes. Don't embarrass me."
Then he's gone.
I lie there. The beeping continues. Steady. Even. Alive.
I turn my head toward the window. The blinds are closed but I can see a sliver of light between the slats. Morning, maybe. Or just the city that never sleeps.
I think about the pavement. The cold. The way he walked away.
I think about the word he used. *Protect.*
I close my eyes.
I don't cry. I'm too tired to cry.
I just lie there and listen to my heart. The one I broke saving his.
Chapter 5
Evander stands in the doorway of the guest room where I've been sleeping. He's holding a garment bag.
"The gala is Saturday," he says.
I'm sitting at the desk. I have Dr. Mercer's discharge instructions in front of me. Rest. Avoid stress. Monitor for irregular heartbeat. I've read the same paragraph four times.
"Okay," I say.
He unzips the bag. Navy silk spills out. Floor-length. High neck. Long sleeves. The kind of dress that photographs well and covers everything.
"You'll wear this," he says. Not a question.
I look at the dress. Then at him.
"I don't think I should go."
"You're going." He drapes the gown over the back of the chair. His voice is boardroom flat. "The investors expect to see us together. Stable. United. I'm not giving them a reason to doubt Knight Capital's leadership three weeks before the IPO."
"I just got out of the hospital."
"You've had four days to recover. That's sufficient."
I open my mouth. Nothing comes out. What do you say to a man who measures your survival in days?
He checks his watch. "Opening remarks are at eight. We arrive at seven forty-five. You stand beside me during my speech. You smile for the photographers. You do not leave my side. You do not speak to Waverly. You do not cause a scene."
Each sentence lands like a nail.
"Do you understand?" he asks.
I look at the dress. Navy like deep water. Like drowning.
"Yes," I whisper.
He nods once. Then he's gone.
I sit there. The discharge instructions blur in front of me. I fold them carefully and put them in the desk drawer. Beneath them is the torn divorce agreement. Beneath that, the stack of medical bills I still haven't paid.
I stand. I walk to the dress. I touch the fabric. It's cold and smooth. Expensive. The kind of thing that costs more than my medication.
I hang it in the closet. I close the door.
Three days pass.
Evander leaves early each morning. He comes home after I'm asleep. On Thursday I hear him on the phone in his office, his voice low and warm. He laughs. A sound I used to know. When he hangs up, the apartment goes silent again.
I take my pills. I drink water. I sit by the window and watch the street. I count cars. I count heartbeats. I count the hours until Saturday.
On Friday afternoon, Waverly Ortiz stands on the rooftop terrace of the Astor House, twenty-three stories above Central Park.
The venue is stunning. Glass walls. String lights wrapped around birch branches. Tables set with white linens and gold flatware. The city spreads out below like a promise.
She's here to confirm final arrangements. That's what she told Evander. He thanked her for being so thorough.
She walks the perimeter. She notes the bar station on the east side. The champagne tower in the center. The head table near the glass railing, where Evander and Genevieve will sit.
She watches the catering staff set up. They move in rotations. Fifteen minutes at the bar. Ten minutes at the champagne station. Five minutes at the head table to pour water and arrange napkins. Then they disappear into the service corridor for two minutes to refill their trays.
Two minutes.
Waverly checks her watch. She smiles.
She walks to the head table. She stands behind the chair marked with Genevieve's name card. She looks at the water glass. Crystal. Spotless. Waiting.
She opens her purse. Inside is a small plastic bottle. No label. She bought the contents at three different pharmacies. Ground them herself. Measured the dose twice.
She researched it carefully. Cross-referenced it with the medication list she saw on Evander's desk last month when she was in his apartment. She knows what Genevieve takes. She knows what happens when you mix a stimulant with a beta-blocker and an anticoagulant.
Nothing fatal. Not directly. Just enough to make her heart race. Make her dizzy. Make her panic. Make her cause a scene in front of two hundred investors.
Make Evander see what Waverly has been saying all along: *She's unstable. She's a liability. She's holding you back.*
Waverly looks at the water glass. She looks at the skyline. She looks at the future she's building.
She puts the bottle back in her purse.
Not yet. Saturday. During the two-minute window when no one is watching.
She smooths her skirt. She walks to the elevator. She presses the button for the lobby.
When the doors close, she's smiling.
Saturday arrives cold and clear.
I dress slowly. The navy gown fits, but barely. I've lost weight I didn't have to lose. The fabric hangs strange on my shoulders. I pin my hair back. I don't wear jewelry. I look in the mirror and see someone I used to know.
Evander is waiting in the living room. Black suit. Silk tie. He looks perfect. He always looks perfect.
"Ready?" he asks.
I nod.
We don't speak in the car. The driver takes us through the park. The trees are bare. The sky is purple at the edges. Almost night.
We arrive at seven forty-three. Two minutes early. Evander approves of early.
The elevator takes us to the rooftop. The doors open onto light and sound and people. So many people. I recognize faces from business magazines. From news articles. From the framed photos in Evander's office.
He puts his hand on my back. The same place he touched Waverly outside the restaurant. His grip is firm. Guiding. Controlling.
"Smile," he murmurs.
I smile.
We walk to the head table. My name card is there. Navy script on cream cardstock. There's a glass of sparkling water already poured. Condensation beads on the crystal.
I'm so thirsty. The cold air dried out my throat on the walk from the car. My mouth tastes like metal from the beta-blocker I took an hour ago.
Evander is pulled away immediately by a man in a gray suit. They shake hands. They laugh. Evander doesn't look back.
I stand alone at the table. I look at the water glass. It catches the light from the string lights overhead. It looks clean. Cold. Perfect.
I'm so thirsty.
I pick up the glass. I drink.