Chapter 4
Christopher came home early that evening. I heard his boots on the porch before I saw the headlights cut across the kitchen wall. The engine ticked as it cooled. The door opened and closed with a deliberate softness that made my shoulders tense.
I was folding laundry in the spare room—my room now, though no one called it that. The yellow paint looked gray in the low light. I heard him move through the house. His jacket on the chair. Keys on the counter. Then voices in the dining room, too low to make out words.
I kept folding. A towel. A sheet. My hands knew the motions.
Twenty minutes later, Esmeralda laughed. That musical sound that turned heads at luncheons. I heard the scrape of a chair, the clink of dishes. Dinner. She had cooked dinner.
No one called me to the table.
I sat on the edge of the bed with a pillowcase in my lap and my thumb pressed hard against my wrist. I counted the pulse there. Forty-three. Forty-four. Forty-five.
The petition was still in my bag. I had walked to the base legal office twice this week. Both times I'd stood outside the door with the folded paper in my hand, and both times I'd turned around. Not fear. Something quieter than fear. The sense that once I walked through that door, everything that came after would be beyond my control.
I should have filed it Monday.
Footsteps in the hallway. Christopher's. I knew the weight of them. He stopped outside the door. The handle turned.
He stood in the doorway with his shoulders filling the frame and his face unreadable. His uniform was gone. Just a gray shirt and dark pants. He looked at me for a long moment, and I looked back, and neither of us said anything.
"We need to talk," he said finally.
I set the pillowcase aside. "Okay."
He stepped into the room. Closed the door behind him. The lock clicked.
My pulse jumped. I kept my face still.
"The audit," he said. "It's flagged our file. They're reviewing match scores from five years ago. Database integrity check."
I nodded slowly. "You said it was routine."
"It is." His jaw worked. "But if they find discrepancies, they can dissolve matches. Retroactively."
The air in the room went thin.
"Dissolve," I repeated.
"It's policy. If the original score was compromised—" He stopped. Looked at the wall. "There are exceptions."
"What kind of exceptions?"
He turned back to me. His eyes were flat. "Pregnancy. They can't dissolve a match during gestation. Or if there are existing children."
I stared at him. My hands were very cold.
"We don't have children," I said quietly.
His expression didn't change. "No. We don't."
The silence stretched. Outside, a dog barked. The refrigerator hummed. I heard my own breathing, too loud in my ears.
"Christopher," I said. "I filed a petition. Two days ago. For dissolution."
Something flickered across his face. Not surprise. Something harder to name.
"Withdraw it," he said.
I shook my head. "I can't do this anymore."
"Juliet." He took a step closer. "Withdraw it. We'll figure this out after the audit clears."
"No." My voice came out steady. A small miracle. "I'm done."
He moved fast. His hand closed around my wrist—not the one I pressed, the other one—and pulled me to my feet. I stumbled. He caught me. His grip was iron.
"You don't get to be done," he said. His voice was low. Controlled. "Not yet."
I tried to pull away. He didn't let go.
"Let go of me."
"We're going to fix this." He was walking me backward. Toward the door. Toward the hallway. "You're my wife. That's not changing."
"Christopher—"
He opened the master bedroom door. The room I hadn't slept in for four months. The bed was made. Military corners. Everything in its place.
He pulled me inside. Closed the door. The lock clicked.
I heard it like a gunshot.
"What are you doing?" My voice cracked. Finally. After years of holding steady, it cracked.
He didn't answer. He let go of my wrist and stepped back. His chest rose and fell. His hands opened and closed at his sides.
"If you're pregnant," he said, "they can't dissolve the match. Policy."
The room tilted.
"No," I said. "No. Christopher, no—"
He moved toward me. I backed up until my shoulders hit the wall. He stopped inches away. I could smell his soap. His breath. Everything familiar and wrong.
"I won't lose everything because you're being selfish," he said.
I shoved him. Hard. He didn't move.
"Get away from me."
His hand came up. Cupped my face. His thumb brushed my cheekbone with a terrible gentleness.
"This is for both of us," he said.
I tried to scream. His mouth covered mine. Swallowed the sound.
Afterward, he left without a word. The lock clicked from the outside.
I lay on top of the covers in the dark with my clothes still on and my thumb pressed against my wrist. I counted my pulse until the numbers stopped meaning anything.
I did not cry.
I had learned, in this house, that crying changed nothing.
I stared at the ceiling and thought about the wooden box in the other room. The hospital bracelet. The knitted cap. The letter to a boy who never opened his eyes.
I thought about the petition in my bag, and how it didn't matter anymore.
I thought about policy.
And I waited for morning.
Chapter 5
The morning after, I walked to the base administrative office before the sun cleared the horizon. My legs worked. My hands held the folder. My voice, when I spoke to the clerk behind the plexiglass, came out level.
"Petition for dissolution," I said. "I need to file it."
She took the folder without looking at my face. Typed something. Stamped the top page with a date and a reference number.
"Thirty-day mandatory review period," she said. "You'll receive notice by mail when the review is complete."
I nodded. Turned. Walked out into air that tasted like rain coming.
Thirty days.
I could survive thirty days.
I made it as far as the parking lot before my knees went soft. I sat on the curb with my back against the brick wall and pressed my thumb against my wrist. Counted. Breathed. Stood up again.
When I got home, Christopher's car was already in the driveway.
He was waiting in the kitchen. His face was stone. Esmeralda stood behind him with her arms crossed, her mouth a thin line.
"You filed it," he said.
I set my bag on the counter. "Yes."
"Withdraw it."
"No."
His jaw worked. He looked at Esmeralda. She gave a small nod, like she was granting permission.
He pulled something from his pocket. My base access card. He set it on the counter between us.
"This has been downgraded," he said. "Residential access only. Security concerns related to the audit."
I stared at the card. The little magnetic strip that used to open doors to the commissary, the clinic, the legal office.
"Security concerns," I repeated.
"Your phone and laptop are being held for review. Standard protocol."
My chest went tight. "You can't—"
"It's already done." He picked up the card and slid it back into his pocket. "You'll get them back when the review clears."
Esmeralda's voice came soft from behind him. "It's for the best, Juliet. You've been so stressed. Maybe some time at home will help you think clearly."
I looked at her. She looked back with those wide, concerned eyes.
I turned and walked to my room. Closed the door. Sat on the bed with my hands in my lap.
No phone. No laptop. No way off base without an access card that opened anything beyond the front door of this house.
I pulled out a piece of paper and started writing.
*To the Genetic Compatibility Program Audit Office:*
*My name is Juliet Hayes. My case file number is—*
I wrote it all. The timeline. The confiscated devices. The downgraded card. The locked bedroom door. I wrote it in careful block letters so no one could say they couldn't read my handwriting.
When I finished, I folded it into a tight square and slipped it into the lining of my coat, next to the charred piece of wood.
I couldn't send it yet. But I could carry it.
And I could wait.
---
The days bled together. I mapped the house in my head. Which windows faced the perimeter road. Which hours the security patrol changed shifts—zero-six-hundred and eighteen-hundred, like clockwork. I watched through the kitchen window as personnel moved past in their vehicles, and I memorized faces.
Christopher came and went on his schedule. Esmeralda stayed. She cooked meals I wasn't invited to. She rearranged the living room. She played music I could hear through the walls.
I stayed in my room and counted.
Twenty-three days until the review period ended.
Twenty-two.
Twenty-one.
On day eighteen, the weather reports changed. A hurricane. Category four. Projected to make landfall directly over the base. Evacuation orders went out for non-essential personnel.
I stood in the kitchen and listened to the radio. Mandatory evacuation by sixteen-hundred hours. Shelters opening inland. Routes marked.
Christopher didn't come home until the wind was already picking up. I heard his car. His boots. The door.
He went straight to Esmeralda's room.
I stepped into the hallway. Watched him help her pack a bag. Watched him carry it to the door. Watched him come back for a second one.
"What about me?" I said.
He stopped. Looked at me. Through me.
"Stay here," he said. "The house is reinforced. You'll be fine."
Esmeralda appeared beside him, her coat already on. She glanced at me, then away. "Christopher, we need to go. They're closing the routes."
He nodded. Picked up both bags. Walked to the door.
I followed. "Christopher. You can't leave me here."
He opened the door. Wind slammed into the house. Rain came sideways.
"You'll be fine," he said again.
He stepped outside. Esmeralda followed. The door swung shut.
I reached for the handle.
It didn't turn.
I pulled. Pushed. Rattled it hard enough that my palms went hot.
Locked. From the outside.
I stepped back. Looked at the door. At the windows. At the walls of the house that was supposed to keep me safe.
The lights flickered.
Outside, the wind screamed.
I pressed my thumb against my wrist and counted my pulse in the dark.