My Happiest Life is Living Without You, Alpha!

I, Lisette Harroway, let my fingers glide over the harp. The familiar melody quickly filled the music room. Each note was bittersweet, echoing the life I found myself trapped in.

Music had always been my escape. It was a refuge from the pain of my arranged marriage to Oscar Wilbury, Alpha of the Ruby Hill Pack. Unfortunately, the people who contributed to this life were my parents, the late Alpha Alexander Harroway and Luna Miranda Harroway of the Topaz Ocean Pack.

My parents had sealed my fate long before I was old enough to understand what it meant. They were helping a nearby pack, Ruby Hill Pack, against a rogue attack. Feeling grateful for what my parents did, Alpha Samuel Wilbury and Luna Bertha Wilbury, promised their son, Oscar Wilbury, to marry me.

Oscar’s parents said the union would strengthen our packs, honor my parents’ sacrifices, and allow me to pursue my passions freely.

“They promised I could let my talents flourish, but … I still don’t feel happy,” I murmured, my voice barely audible over the harp’s soft tune.

Alpha Samuel and Luna Bertha had meant well. They had given me access to the finest musical instruments and tutors to help me hone my craft. For a while, I believed I could have the life they described. This was a life where I could be a Luna and still follow my dreams.

Then, Gloria Turner came into the picture.

I paused, my hands trembling on the keys. Gloria was the Beta’s daughter from the Blackthorn Ridge Pack, married to another Alpha, Alpha Elliot Darrington of the Onyx Sky Pack. But none of that mattered when she and Oscar met. Their bond was instant, sealed by fate. She was his fated mate.

Without further ado, I became nothing more than an obstacle to their relationship.

‘You play such sad songs,’ Orla, my wolf, said in my mind, her voice soft but firm.

I told her, ‘They help me cope.’

‘Coping isn’t living, Lisette. You can’t let this go on forever,’ Orla said.

My chest tightened when I heard what she said. But it was the truth. I couldn’t go on like this forever. Still, I was the Luna of the Ruby Hill Pack.

After that, I said to my wolf, ‘It’s not just about me. The pack needs peace. Fighting won’t help anyone.’

‘And what about you? You deserve peace too,’ Orla responded.

Before I could respond to my wolf, the door to the music room was swung open. Gloria strode in with an air of entitlement. I noticed that her dress was too extravagant for a simple visit to her original pack as she would always do.

Her eyes gleamed with smug satisfaction as she looked at me.

“There you are, Luna Lisette,” she said sweetly, though her tone was laced with condescension.

The woman then continued, “Hiding away again? That’s not how a Luna should act.”

I stood, brushing down my skirts, as I responded to her calmly, “I’m not hiding, Luna Gloria. I was practicing my music.”

She laughed lightly, a sound that grated against my ears, as she mockingly made a remark, “Practicing? For what? No one cares about your little songs. You should be focusing on real Luna duties.”

Orla growled in my mind angrily before she said, ‘Let me at her. Just one swipe-’

‘No, we won’t stoop to her level,’ I cut off my wolf silently.

The Luna of the Onyx Sky Pack stepped closer as she talked more, “You know, Oscar deserves someone who inspires him. Someone strong, beautiful ... someone like me.”

‘How dare she talk like that?’ I thought to myself angrily.

Without realizing it, I clenched my fists tightly at my sides.

But I kept my voice calm as I responded and gazed at her eyes calmly, “If that’s what he wants, he’s free to make that choice. But look at where we are.”

For a moment, Gloria looked startled. It seemed that the woman didn’t expect me to talk. However, she quickly regained her composure.

“He already has,” she said.

With that, she turned and left.

Orla immediately told me, ‘You should’ve said more, Lisette.’

‘I don’t want a fight,’ I told my wolf even though my heart ached.

Soon enough, it was time for dinner. I quickly left the music room and headed to the dining hall, passing a few Ruby Hill pack members. Most of them offered me kind smiles or respectful nods. Despite the tension in my marriage, many sympathized with me.

After all, I had devoted myself to them as their Luna. During my three years of being the Luna of the Ruby Hill Pack, I already organized tons of events, settling disputes, and ensuring everyone felt valued. So, I knew they appreciated me.

But appreciation wasn’t the same as love from the Alpha.

When I reached the dining hall, I found Oscar seated at the head of the table, speaking with his Beta, Beta Mason Oakwood. But that wasn’t my focus. What I focused on was the fact that Gloria sat close to my husband, laughing at something he said to the Beta. It really hurt my heart.

Oscar noticed me lingering in the doorway and waved me over impatiently.

“Good evening, Lisette. Come sit,” my husband said,

I obeyed, forcing a polite smile as I took the seat beside him.

“Good evening, Alpha. Thank you,” I greeted him politely.

The man didn’t even bother to look at me as he kept looking at Gloria and asked, “Did you finish the preparations for the hunting party between our pack and the Onyx Sky Pack?”

“Yes, Alpha. Everything will be ready tomorrow,” I replied.

After that, Gloria leaned forward as she arrogantly said, “Don’t worry, Oscar. I’ll make sure everything goes perfectly.”

Oscar’s lips curved into a warm smile. The kind of smile that I hadn’t seen directed at me in years. Seeing it only directed to the other Luna really hurt me.

He said, “Thank you, Gloria. I knew I could count on you.”

‘I’m done with this,’ I thought to myself.

As I pushed my chair back, I stood abruptly and said, “I’m not feeling well. Excuse me.”

Oscar barely glanced at me before he muttered, “Fine.”

I left the room quickly, tears stinging my eyes.

‘Coward. He doesn’t even care. You deserve better than this,’ Orla muttered angrily, sympathizing with me.

The cool night air hit my face as I stepped into the garden. I sat on a stone bench, staring at the vibrant flowers surrounding me. While the garden had been helping me to relax, I knew that it wouldn’t last like this forever.

I asked the one question I had in my mind, ‘Can I stay like this forever?’

My wolf was the one who answered.

‘Lisette, you can’t keep living like this. He resents you because of Gloria, but that’s not your fault,’ Orla said gently.

I asked my wolf, ‘What do you want us to do then?’

‘Let Oscar go, Lisette. You have talents, dreams, and more. You could leave and make something of your life. You’re more than just a silent woman. You are precious,’ she told me.

I shook my head as I told her, ‘I can’t abandon the pack. My parents trusted me to honor their legacy. Leaving would feel like betrayal.’

‘Your parents wanted you to be happy. They didn’t sacrifice everything for you to suffer like this,’ my wolf insistently said.

Her words cut deep. My parents had always supported me, encouraging my love for music and pushing me to dream big even while preparing me for my role as Luna. I wanted so badly to make them proud. But how could I do it when the man I was tied to didn’t even want me?

Gloria’s presence only made it worse. She wasn’t subtle about her intentions. Although the Luna of the Onyx Sky Pack claimed her visits to the Ruby Hill Pack were for “official matters,” everyone knew the truth. That woman came for Oscar.

The whispers about them didn’t bother her or Oscar. If anything, it seemed to make their connection stronger. Meanwhile, everyone looked at me with pity. I hated it!

Orla then talked again after what seemed to be hours of silence, ‘Lisette, please listen to me. I am a part of you. I just want the best for you.’

‘I’m listening, Orla,’ I responded with my voice barely above a whisper.

My wolf then said, ‘You don’t have to keep punishing yourself for something that’s not your fault. This marriage... it’s not what you deserve. You deserve someone who sees you and values you. Someone who … loves you.’

Tears slid down my cheeks as I told her, ‘I don’t know if I believe in that anymore, Orla. Maybe love was never meant for me.’

‘Never say that, Lisette. You’re stronger than this. Don’t let them take away your hope,’ Orla said before she fell asleep inside my mind.

What Orla said was right. I was stronger than this. Still, could I chase away the emptiness that had taken root in my heart?