Chapter 4

Three days before the wedding, I packed up eight years in six boxes.

It didn't take long. That surprised me. I thought it would take longer, that the walls would fight me somehow, that Colt's apartment would hold onto pieces of me the way I'd held onto pieces of him. But no. My toothbrush. My side of the closet. The blender I bought because he never used the one his mother sent. It all fit into six boxes and a garment bag I never picked back up from the boutique.

I worked through the apartment room by room, and I didn't let myself stop and remember things. Remembering was a trap. Remembering was how I'd lost eight years in the first place.

The fireplace was the last thing.

I knelt in front of it with a shoebox on my lap — the one I kept under the bed, the one Colt never opened because he didn't know it existed. Love letters from our first year, back when he still wrote things down instead of texting them. Polaroids from a trip to Vermont, both of us squinting into the sun. Ticket stubs from a Springsteen concert he'd surprised me with for my birthday, back when surprises from him still felt like gifts and not warnings. A pressed flower from the bouquet he gave me after my mother's funeral, flattened between two pieces of wax paper for six years.

I fed it all into the fire one handful at a time.

The letters went first. The paper curled at the edges, browned, then caught all at once, and for a second I could see his handwriting glow orange before it disappeared. I didn't cry. I kept waiting to, the way you wait for a storm you can feel coming, and it just never broke.

The Polaroids melted strange, the plastic coating bubbling before the flame ate through. I watched our faces warp and blacken. I thought about how young we looked. How sure.

Last was the chain.

I unclasped it from around my neck — I'd started wearing it again these past few weeks, tucked under my collar, some old habit I couldn't shake even while I was planning to burn the man who gave it to me right out of my life. The soda can tab caught the firelight, dull aluminum, a little rusted at the edge from eight years of sweat and skin. "Placeholder," he'd said. "Until I can afford the real thing."

He'd afforded the real thing. He just hadn't given it to me.

I held it over the flames for a second longer than I needed to. Then I let go.

It didn't burn so much as it warped — the metal bending, blistering, going black at the edges before it dropped down into the coals and disappeared into the rest of the ash. I dropped the chain in after it, watched the links go dark one by one like a little dying constellation.

Then I stood up, brushed off my knees, and put my key on the kitchen counter. Not dramatically. Just set it down, next to the fruit bowl, where he'd find it when he finally noticed I was gone.

I didn't leave a note. There was nothing left to say that the empty apartment wouldn't say better.

---

The drive to JFK was quiet. No music. Just the sound of tires on wet asphalt and my own breathing, slower than it had been in weeks.

I checked in at the first-class counter with one suitcase and a carry-on, and the woman behind the desk smiled at me like I was just another traveler, not a woman who'd spent the last hour burning the only proof she'd ever loved someone. I smiled back. It felt easier than it should have.

At the gate, I texted Kalani.

*Green light.*

Three dots appeared, then disappeared, then appeared again. Finally: *On it. Don't look back, boo. Not even once.*

I put my phone on airplane mode and didn't look at it again until we landed.

Once we were in the air, I ordered a glass of Barolo, because it sounded like the kind of thing a woman does when she's starting over, and because I liked the way it sat dark and heavy in the glass, nothing like champagne, nothing like anything that had happened to me on a rooftop in Midtown.

I turned toward the window as we climbed. Manhattan spread out below in a grid of light, small and bright and completely unaware that I was leaving it. I watched the buildings shrink. I watched the bridges go thin as thread. Then the clouds came up underneath the plane like a floor sliding into place, and the city was gone.

I waited for the grief to hit. I'd been waiting for it all day, honestly — braced for it the way you brace for a punch you know is coming. It never came. Instead there was just a strange, clean quiet, like a room after you've swept it.

I took a sip of the wine. It tasted like something I might actually enjoy, someday, without thinking about who I was drinking it with or why.

For the first time in weeks, I didn't feel like crying.

I felt like sleeping. So I did.

Chapter 5

London felt like a city that didn't need me to explain myself.

I liked that. I liked walking through Canary Wharf at seven in the morning with a coffee I'd bought from a place that didn't know my order yet, past glass towers that reflected the sky back at itself, past people who had no idea who I used to be. Nobody here knew about the soda can tab. Nobody here had watched me stand next to a woman in a white dress and smile until my face went numb.

Mendez Capital's European headquarters sat on the thirty-second floor of a building that looked out over the Thames. My office was smaller than I expected and better than I deserved — floor-to-ceiling windows, a desk that didn't wobble, and a door that actually closed. I'd forgotten what it felt like to work somewhere that treated closed doors like they meant something.

The first three weeks moved fast. I landed two client meetings Marco had been chasing for months — a German automotive firm and a Singapore-based investment group — by pulling threads from relationships I'd built back when I was still stupid enough to think Colt noticed my work. Turned out they did. They just hadn't known where I went.

"How did you get Hoffmann to take the call?" Marco asked one morning, leaning in my doorway with his coffee.

I glanced up from my laptop. "I remembered his daughter's name."

He studied me for a second, the way he did sometimes, like he was reading a contract he wanted to be sure about. "That's not a small thing."

"It's just paying attention."

"Most people don't," he said. Then he left, and I sat there staring at the space where he'd been, trying to figure out why that sentence made my chest feel tight.

Small things started happening that I couldn't explain.

One morning I came in and there was a cashmere throw folded over the back of my chair — charcoal gray, soft enough to hurt. I looked around the office like someone might claim it, but nobody did. I wore it through a conference call that afternoon and didn't ask where it came from.

The company driver, a quiet man named Terrence, started taking routes that avoided the street where Colt's London hotel was. I didn't tell him which hotel. I didn't tell anyone. But we never went past it, not once.

My coffee showed up right every single time — oat milk, no sugar, extra hot — even though I'd only ordered it once from the café downstairs and couldn't remember if I'd even said it out loud.

I kept waiting for someone to ask me for something in return. A favor. A late night. A compromise I didn't want to make. It didn't come. The kindness just sat there, uncommented on, like it didn't need a reason.

It made me nervous in a way I didn't know how to name.

---

Late one Thursday, Marco and I were in the conference room going over a pitch deck for a Dubai client. The city was dark outside the windows, all light and river and the low hum of traffic thirty-two floors down. He'd rolled his sleeves up to his elbows an hour ago, which I'd learned meant he was thinking hard about something and didn't want fabric in the way.

"Walk me through the West Coast expansion," he said, eyes still on the screen. "The one you led for Burke. I want to understand how you structured the entry."

I looked up. "Why?"

"Because I'm trying to figure out how you think." He glanced over, just for a second. "And because I don't want to waste what you're good at by guessing."

I told him. Not the résumé version — the real one. How I'd spent six months just listening before I pitched a single deal. How I'd tracked down the CFO of a Seattle tech firm at his kid's soccer game because he wouldn't take a meeting any other way. How I'd mapped every relationship by hand because Colt's CRM system was garbage and he wouldn't pay to fix it.

Marco didn't interrupt. He just listened, the way people almost never do, and when I finished he nodded once and said, "That's exactly what I thought."

"What did you think?"

"That you built his company and he took credit for it." He said it without heat, just as fact. "And that he's about to find out what it costs to lose you."

I looked down at my hands. "I didn't leave to hurt him."

"I know," Marco said. "You left because staying was killing you. But he's going to hurt anyway. And that's not your job to fix."

I didn't say anything. I didn't trust my voice.

Two days later, he remembered the name of the Seattle CFO's kid without me having mentioned it again.

---

Back in New York, Kalani was dressed for war.

She'd sent me a photo that morning — her in a red dress that looked like it cost someone's mortgage, her hair pulled back sharp and clean, her mouth set in a line that would've made a weaker man confess to crimes he didn't commit.

*Ready,* she texted. *You good?*

I was in my apartment in Southwark, coffee going cold on the counter, staring at my phone like it might explode.

*I'm good,* I sent back. *Do it right.*

*Baby, I don't know how to do it wrong.*

She sent me one more photo an hour later: her sitting in a velvet chair in the back of the ballroom, champagne flute in hand, surrounded by two hundred people in their best clothes. The screen behind the head table was dark. For now.

I looked at the photo for a long time. Then I put my phone face down on the counter, poured the coffee out, and made a fresh cup.

I didn't need to watch. I just needed to know it was happening.

Outside my window, London kept moving. The Thames caught the light and threw it back. Somewhere across the city, Marco was probably still at his desk, sleeves rolled up, working through something that mattered.

I took a sip of the coffee. It was too hot, and I didn't care.

For the first time in eight years, I wasn't waiting for anything.

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