Chapter 3
Three days before the wedding, the Vale family threw me an engagement dinner I never asked for.
The estate sat on the edge of the Long Island shore, all white columns and ocean wind. Inside, a crystal chandelier the size of a small car hung over two hundred guests. Wall Street bankers. Family board members. And worse, faces I knew from Westbrook.
The gown was champagne silk. It had belonged to Adrian's grandmother.
"It's tradition," his aunt Philippa had said that afternoon, zipping me into it herself. "Every Vale bride wears it. You'll smile, won't you, dear?"
I didn't.
Now I stood under the chandelier while people studied me like a stock they weren't sure about.
"So you're the girl." A man with a silver tie gripped my hand too long. "Adrian kept you hidden for years. What do you do, Mara?"
I waited for Adrian to answer for me.
He didn't. He stood at my shoulder, close enough that I could feel his warmth, and said nothing.
"I'm an archivist," I said. "At a small museum in Brooklyn."
"How charming."
A woman in pearls leaned in. Westbrook, class of my year. I remembered her laugh. I didn't remember her name.
"You'll quit after the wedding, of course," she said. "Nobody runs a household like this part-time."
Every head in the circle turned toward Adrian.
He took a sip of his water. Then he set the glass down.
"Mara can do whatever she wants," he said.
That was it. No speech. No smile for the crowd.
Uncle Gordon cleared his throat from across the room. He was the oldest Vale on the board, and he had a voice built for boardrooms.
"Adrian. The future lady of this family doesn't get to be whimsical. There are expectations."
A murmur rolled through the guests. Somebody laughed into a champagne flute.
My palms went damp. My throat closed up. For one second I was seventeen again, standing in a ring of grinning mouths.
Then I saw the microphone on the stand by the string quartet.
I walked over and picked it up. The feedback squealed. Two hundred faces winced and turned toward me.
"Thank you all for coming," I said. My voice shook, so I held the mic tighter. "I want to clear something up. I'm marrying a man. Not a board. I don't need anyone's approval to live my life."
Silence.
Then Celeste Moreau, of all people, started clapping near the dessert table. A few others joined in. Uncle Gordon's mouth pinched shut.
When I came back, Adrian was looking at me. Not with pride. With something closer to relief.
"What?" I muttered.
"Nothing," he said. "You just sounded like yourself."
Before I could ask what that meant, the room changed.
People stepped aside. A woman in black velvet came through the crowd, dark hair pulled back, red lips, Adrian's eyes.
Sloane Vale.
My stomach dropped. In my memory, she was the one who held the phone up while the milk ran down my face. The one who laughed loudest.
She stopped in front of me. She didn't laugh.
"Mara," she said. "Do you really remember the last summer of senior year?"
The guests went quiet again.
"Excuse me?"
"The summer. Do you remember it?"
"I remember enough." My voice rose. "Why do you care? Seven years and you show up now, playing worried? Is this part of the show too?"
Her eyes went red at the rims, fast, like she'd been holding it back for a long time.
But she lifted her chin.
"You can hate me," she said. "You probably should. But at least figure out who you're actually hating."
She pulled a small photo out of her clutch.
I caught a glimpse. Me, younger, outside the Westbrook music room door. Next to me, a girl I didn't know. Thin, blond, half turned away. And in my hand, a letter. I was holding it so hard the paper had crumpled.
"Sloane." Uncle Gordon's voice cut across the room. "A word. Now."
She flinched. Then she grabbed my hand and shoved the photo into it, folding my fingers over it.
"Don't lose it," she whispered.
And she was gone.
---
I found her on the terrace after the last guests had left. The wind off the water tugged at her velvet sleeves.
"You don't get to walk away," I said. "Explain."
She didn't turn around. "I did things to you that you'll never forgive. I know that. I'm not here to ask you to."
"Then what are you here for?"
"Because some of what you remember wasn't us." She faced me. "The worst parts. That wasn't me. And it wasn't Adrian."
I laughed. It came out like a cough.
"That's convenient. So now there's a mystery villain? Some stranger did it, and the Vale kids are innocent?"
"I didn't say innocent."
"You're blaming someone else because it's easier than saying sorry."
"Then answer me one thing." Her voice dropped, steady and quiet. "When you think about that year, you remember the smell of the milk. Right? Sour. You remember the cigarette burning. You can feel it."
My wrist throbbed under my sleeve.
"Yes."
"So how did you leave Westbrook, Mara?"
I opened my mouth.
"Did you graduate? Walk out the front doors? Did someone pick you up? What was the last day like?"
I tried to find it. A cap and gown. A car. A goodbye.
There was nothing. Just white. Like a page someone had erased so hard it tore.
"I..." My mouth went dry. "It doesn't matter."
"It's the only thing that matters."
Footsteps crossed the stone behind me.
"Sloane."
Adrian. He didn't raise his voice. He didn't glare at her.
He came and stood next to me. Not in front. Next to.
My hand was locked around the photo. My nails had dug into my palm so deep it stung.
He glanced down at my fist. Then at his sister.
"That's enough for tonight," he said.
Sloane wiped her eyes with the back of her wrist and nodded once. She left without another word.
---
The car was quiet for twenty minutes. The headlights sliced through the dark highway.
I unclenched my hand. Four small red crescents in my skin. The photo was bent but whole.
"Adrian," I said. "What happened back then?"
His hands tightened on the wheel. He didn't answer.
One exit passed. Then another. I was sure he'd keep quiet the whole way home.
"I can tell you the parts I remember," he said finally. "But I won't decide for you what you have to believe."
He reached across me, opened the glove box, and took out an envelope.
It was old. Sealed. The paper had gone soft at the corners.
The name on the front was mine. In my own handwriting.
The postmark was dated seven years ago. That summer.
"I never opened it," he said. "It wasn't mine to open."
I turned it over. The flap had lifted a little at one corner. Something stuck out.
Half a sheet of music. Hand-copied notes on staff lines.
And I knew that melody. My fingers twitched on my knee, like they were reaching for keys.
Adrian's phone lit up on the dashboard. A Manhattan number.
He tapped speaker.
"Mr. Vale? This is Mount Sinai records department. I'm calling about Dr. Ruth Halloran."
Adrian's jaw went tight.
"She passed away on Tuesday," the woman said. "She left instructions about a patient file. Mara's. It's to be released to her legal guardian of record."
I stared at him.
"Her what?"
The woman went on, unaware. "Our records list you, Mr. Vale. You've held that authority for seven years."