My Archenemy: Also My Prince Charming?

"Breaking News! A certain A-lister was sent to the hospital in the middle of the night because of… anal fissures!"

"This just in—a certain A-lister is witnessed being carted out of the elite heir's residence!"

As I read the viral headlines featuring myself, I can't help but clench my fists tightly.

"What the heck? Who came up with these stupid rumors anyway? I went to the hospital to get my hemorrhoids removed!"

And here I am, thinking about why my long-time rival, Pierce Kirkland, had decided to invite me over to his place for a candlelit dinner in the first place. It turns out that he wanted to watch me embarrass myself after eating a spicy meal!

But after Pierce makes a shoutout on a show, I belatedly realize that I can never escape from him anymore.

I, Daniel Beaumont, was a newly-crowned A-list celebrity in the entertainment industry.

I had just finished attending an award ceremony when my long-time rival, Pierce Kirkland, called me all of a sudden. He wanted to invite me over to his private residence for a meal in honor of my receiving an award at the award ceremony earlier.

Pierce was my long-time rival and childhood friend. He was also the heir of an ultra-rich family.

He was known to be a cold and ruthless bastard who stayed away from women in the elite society. Well, as for my impression of him, aside from not being into women, he was also a shameless bastard who liked to mess with me.

Well, not "that" kind of messing around.

If Pierce wanted to invite me over for a meal, that meant he was definitely up to no good.

I wanted to turn his invitation down at first because I planned on spending the night admiring my award at home. But unfortunately for me, Pierce sounded very sincere over the phone. Not to mention, my manager, Alex Miller, told me not to bruise Pierce's ego with my rejection.

Hence, I arrived at Pierce's residence on my own to attend the so-called dinner.

Surprisingly enough, it really was just a normal dinner. When Pierce saw me, he didn't greet me with insults as he had done previously. Heck, he didn't even slap me playfully in the face. Instead, he told me to take a seat in a friendly manner.

I could only stare at the candlelit dinner placed on the table between the two of us in puzzlement. The atmosphere between us was far too suggestive, not to mention Pierce kept staring at me weirdly.

Somehow, I had a feeling that he wanted to rope me into his bed after this. That was why I could only lower my head and dig into the meal like the coward I was.

The pasta did look delicious, though. The entire dish was bright red and seemed to be coated heavily with tomato sauce. I bet the sour, tangy taste of the pasta was exactly what I needed to soothe my current mood. So, I twirled a huge forkful of pasta before stuffing it into my mouth.

At that moment, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I froze in my seat instantly while maintaining the same pose of stuffing the pasta into my mouth.

Meanwhile, Pierce was still explaining the dish to me in a gentle tone. "I remember you telling me all the time that you loved eating spicy food back when you were still a university student, so I had the chef go heavy on the chili flakes in the sauce.

"I've noticed that you've been staying away from spicy food because of your need to keep up your appearance as a celebrity. That's why I've specifically prepared this meal for you.

"Don't worry about it, Daniel. You can be yourself when you're here with me, so you can eat whatever you want."

Pierce was still prattling on and on about his reasons. Meanwhile, I just wanted to shut him up with a slap to his face.

Why did I quit spicy food? Was it because I wanted to protect and maintain my skin quality after becoming an actor?

Hell no! That was because I had hemorrhoids, dammit!

The extreme spice flooding my mouth delivered a lethal blow to my unhealthy body. So, this was what it felt like to have literal hellfire burning up my ass.

It hurt… so much…

I could only clutch my ass as I collapsed from the chair.

Pierce definitely did this to me on purpose. No wonder he was being extremely nice to me tonight. It turned out that he had saved the best for last!

It didn't take long for the ambulance to show up, together with its blaring sirens. Just like that, I was carted out of Pierce's private residence with blood staining my pants.

I saw countless paparazzi, who had been stalking me all this time, rush up to me instantly. They aimed their cameras at me and began snapping photos of me. In fact, they even took close-up shots of my stained pants.

Ahahaha! I knew right away that this had to be my most humiliating moment ever!

After all, I, an A-list celebrity, was revealed to have hemorrhoids! To make things worse, I was even carted into an ambulance in front of everyone!

I couldn't even begin to imagine the expressions my fans would wear the moment they saw the headlines. All I could do was turn my head around to glare hatefully at the culprit behind my moment of shame.

But Pierce didn't wear that gloating smirk that I thought he'd wear. Instead, he looked very guilty and worried.

Wow. He really was a good actor. Even my acting skills were nothing compared to his.

He should've been the one winning the award for the best actor. If he was this good of an actor, he should've started an acting career in the entertainment industry, to begin with.

After that, I was pushed into an operating theater.

…

It was already the second day by the time I regained consciousness.

The first thing I did after waking up was to locate my phone, of course. But I found myself staring at Pierce's annoying face before I could do so.

"Daniel, you're awake! Please hear me out! I seriously didn't know that you had—"

"What the… Shut the hell up!"

I could hardly breathe at that moment. Since I didn't have anything within my reach that I could shut Pierce up with, I had no choice but to ram my forehead against his mouth to prevent him from saying that dreaded word.

The thing was, I smashed my forehead into Pierce's mouth in hopes of dealing enough damage to him. Why on earth was Pierce touching his lips while looking very pleased with himself?

It must be due to my weakened state after undergoing the surgical procedure. Pierce must have thought that my attack meant nothing to him because of how weak I was.

Ugh, that man really loved pissing me off!

I was about to tell Pierce to get lost when a paparazzo appeared out of nowhere and began taking photos of us.

As the shutter clicked repeatedly, the paparazzo even muttered, "I definitely nailed the headlines this time! Daniel Beaumont the A-lister is actually in a relationship with Pierce Kirkland, the heir to a powerful family! He can't resist kissing Pierce right after his surgery!"

I was shell-shocked right after hearing the paparazzo's words. Well, I was more shocked about the fact that the paparazzo had the guts to snap photos right in front of Pierce.

At the same time, I couldn't help laughing on the inside. That paparazzo was definitely done for. He'd have to pay the price for running his mouth in front of Pierce.

I was very sure that the paparazzo wouldn't be able to make it out of the ward alive, let alone leak the photos to the public.

How dare that man speculate such things about me and Pierce anyway? We have been rivals since we were children. That paparazzo was definitely digging his own grave by shipping me and Pierce together.

Unexpectedly, Pierce didn't even unleash his wrath on the paparazzo. In fact, he just smiled the whole time as he watched the paparazzo slip out of the ward quickly after he was done taking his photos.

Confusion didn't even begin to describe what I was feeling at the moment.

Soon, I heard my phone buzzing violently. Only then did I spot it vibrating on the nightstand next to me. Judging from the way it kept buzzing, I had a feeling that it was literally exploding with messages.

A bad premonition crept up on me instantly. So, I reached for my phone.

Countless people kept tagging me on my social media account, while my private inbox was overflowing with messages. To my horror, the same thing happened to all of my social media accounts.

Nervously, I tapped on the first viral headline I saw. By then, I was mentally prepared to face the music in a new reality where my hemorrhoids were blasted all over the news, resulting in my perfect image being ruined and my fans being disappointed in me.