During my post-abortion checkup, I could still remember Roan—my mate and the Alpha of the Golden Moon pack, excused himself once more, leaving me alone in the sterile room of the pack's infirmary.

Then again, this had become a routine, his sudden disappearances, and I had grown accustomed to them. Initially, his absences pierced through me like a shard of ice, each instance a sting of abandonment. Over time, however, the pain dulled, fading into a numbed indifference.

I swallowed the medication that the pack healers gave me after the checkup and made my way to the pack house, where the Alpha and the Luna were supposed to reside. There, a sense of loneliness echoed in my footsteps.

Upon returning, I absentmindedly scrolled through one of my social media accounts—Twitter. A post from someone caught my eye, tagging Roan.

[Just had a small scratch, but he insisted on dragging me to the pack's infirmary, and has been accompanying me since! After all this time, you're still the best!]

I stared at the screen, not knowing what to feel.

Right...

It was odd.

There was no rage, no urge to confront my mate about his deceit. The energy it took to care felt like a burden too heavy to bear. Instead, I let it slip away, just another chore in the long list of exhausting tasks I had no interest in tackling anymore.

I didn't know when I stop caring.

Later, photos from the Alpha Gala, an event where Alphas of different packs gather, appeared in my inbox, featuring Roan and Tracy in intimate poses. It should have ignited a blaze of anger within me, but instead, I felt a strange calm wash over me. Not long after, I saw my mate entering the pack house, just a few steps from me, cradling Tracy's child as they strolled together.

From behind, they looked like a family. I found myself smiling softly, my voice steady as I mumbled, "The child needs a father figure, huh? Then, spend more time with them, Alpha."

Upon hearing my remark, Roan's reaction was a frantic grab at my arm, his eyes searching mine with desperation as he asked, "Lori, why don't you care anymore?"

**

The miscarriage I suffered had been the result of an accident, I accidentally fell, causing stress to my stomach. Today marked the second month since my abortion surgery, and my mate had agreed to accompany me to the follow-up checkup. As always, he found an excuse to leave hastily. This time, though, I felt no compulsion to hold onto him, no desire to plead for his presence.

Well, not anymore.

Watching the Alpha's retreating figure, a wave of detachment swept over me. I realized, with clarity, that anything he did no longer held any sway over my emotions. It was as if my heart was done loving him blindly.

The sadness I once felt in his absence was gone, leaving behind nothing but a void.

A healer called my name, bringing me back to the present. I collected the test results silently, gathered my belongings, and prepared to leave.

Not long after, Roan talked to me through our mind link, "Lori, you can go home on your own, right? I still have things to do."

There was a time when I would have clung to him desperately, replying with pleas like, "But I need you right now, Alpha." Now, it felt futile. With a sense of resigned acceptance, I uttered back, "Fine."

After that, I hailed a cab, but unknowingly, I looked back at the pack's infirmary as I settled inside, and there I noticed Roan's car outside the place. A flicker of curiosity sparked within me—why was he here if he claimed he couldn’t pick me up?

When I arrived at the pack house, I opened Twitter again. As expected, Tracy tagged Roan in another post.

[Just had a small scratch, but he insisted on dragging me to the hospital and has been accompanying me since. After all this time, you're still the best!]

Tracy, I remembered her well. Who wouldn't?

She had posted a photo on Twitter with my mate before. In the background, I recognized the shirt I had picked out for Roan on his birthday, now draped over his shoulders in the picture. Tracy Tompson was Roan's childhood sweetheart.

Years ago, Tracy had moved away from the pack with her Alpha and mated with him. Life took a cruel turn for her when her mate died. From what I heard, things became cruel for Tracy and her child with the dead Alpha. Because she was a fallen Luna, she no longer held any power. And she was later shunned from the pack they once led.

That was when she returned to Bellflower town with a four-year-old child. In Roan’s eyes, I had been nothing more than a placeholder for Tracy during her absence. But I had loved him deeply then, enough to mate with him despite knowing the truth. My miscarriage had been a silent warning—a child with Roan would never be good for either of us.

In our Golden Moon pack, Roan was the Alpha, strong and commanding. I, as his mate, was the Luna. Our bond was supposed to be sacred, a connection that transcended all others. Yet, here I was, adrift in a sea of disillusionment, my role as Luna feeling more like a hollow title than a cherished position.

After taking the medication prescribed by one of the pack's healers, I drifted into a deep sleep.

However, it didn't take long before I woke up. The sound of the door creaking open roused me in the middle of the night. As I struggled to shake off my sleepiness, I felt my mate's presence beside me. His hand reached out to stroke my hair gently.

“What did the healer say today?” he asked, his voice soft and soothing.

I caught a whiff of an unfamiliar wolf fragrance clinging to him—a she-wolf in particular. A pang of unease tightened in my chest, but I refused to acknowledge it. I turned my head slightly, evading his touch.

“Oh, nothing important,” I replied, forcing a smile that felt brittle. “Everything’s fine.”

The Alpha nodded, his expression a mask of concern mixed with something else—guilt, perhaps? “My position as an Alpha has been giving me a hectic schedule lately,” he said, his tone a bit too rushed. “I've been kept very busy.”

I could sense the lie behind his words, the weight of an unspoken truth hanging in the air between us. But instead of confronting him, I chose to bury my suspicions. Rolling over to face away from him, I murmured, “Maybe you should take a shower before going to bed.”

For a moment, he hesitated, as if contemplating whether to explain further. But he remained silent. I listened as he opened the bathroom door, the sound of water beginning to flow from the showerhead filling the quiet room. The soft trickling of the water was the only sound, mingling with my thoughts as I lay there, willing myself back into the refuge of sleep.

The next day was a whirlwind of responsibilities. As the Luna, my duties to the pack consumed much of my time and energy. After our morning meeting concluded, I received a mind link from Roan, his voice carrying a hint of irritation.

"Lori, why didn't you wake me up? You left early without telling me, and now I've overslept."

A familiar pang of frustration flared within me. Since our mating, I had devoted myself entirely to him, catering to his every need. Each morning, I carefully laid out his clothes, prepared breakfast with affection, and gently woke him, ensuring his day began smoothly. It had become a routine, one I meticulously maintained. Yet, his tone now betrayed an unsettling truth: he had come to see my acts of love as mere duties, obligations I was expected to fulfill without question.

I took a deep breath, the weight of my realization settling over me. I was not his caretaker—I was his Luna. I had every right to refuse his unreasonable demands.

"Well, since you’re running late, you'd better get up soon," I replied, a subtle edge in my voice.

"What am I going to wear today?" He asked as if choosing his clothes was foreign to him.

"Just pick something from the closet, Alpha. Everything you need is there," I responded, my patience wearing thin.

"But I can't find it..." he began, his voice trailing off into the familiar whine of dependency.

An Omega nearby called for me, and I seized the opportunity to escape the conversation. "I have other matters to attend to. You’ll have to manage on your own," I said, turning away from the ridiculous conversation.

Barely moments later, my mate's voice pierced through the mind link once again. "The shirts are wrinkled! You didn't iron them? How am I supposed to attend a meeting like this?"

And then, predictably, came the complaint about breakfast. "You didn't prepare anything to eat!"

As his words echoed in my mind, the full weight of my choices pressed down on me. I had given up my wolf, my essence, to be with Roan. I had envisioned a future filled with love, pups, and leadership with him. But now, those dreams seemed foolish, naïve. Staying with him had lost its appeal, leaving me feeling empty.

Desperate for peace, I left the pack house and wandered to a nearby town. There, I found refuge in an inn that catered exclusively to she-wolves. It was a sanctuary, a place where I could momentarily escape the crushing weight of my regrets.

As I lay on the bed, staring at the wooden ceiling, memories flooded my mind. I reflected on the past, each regret a painful reminder of what I had sacrificed. Amidst my reverie, a mind link broke through my thoughts.

"My daughter..." It was my mother's voice, the Moon Goddess, filled with the familiar blend of love and concern. She had always been my guiding light, warning me, and advising me. And yet, here I was, steeped in remorse and sorrow.

Her voice was a balm to my wounded spirit, a reminder that despite my mistakes, I was not alone. But it also served as a stark reminder of the price I had paid for my choices, a burden I would carry with me always...

Flashback

It was my 18th birthday, a monumental occasion for every wolf of our kind.

"Are you excited to find out who your mate is?" asked my mother, the Moon Goddess, her eyes sparkling with a mix of joy and concern.

"Yes, Mom! Can you show me?" My heart raced with anticipation as I waited for the revelation.

The Moon Goddess possessed a mystical orb that revealed one's destined mate. As the image materialized, I saw him—Alpha Roan of the Golden Moon Pack, from Bellflower Town. His strong, commanding presence filled the orb. My heart soared. But then I noticed my mother's expression shift, her smile fading into worry.

"Your mate…" She began, her voice tinged with hesitation.

"What is it, Mom?" I asked, my curiosity grew into a knot of anxiety.

Her gaze softened, filled with maternal concern. "He is cursed. His bloodline bears a curse that has plagued them for generations. This curse was placed by a wolfless woman, wronged by his ancestor, who was friends with a powerful witch. It's a dangerous fate, Lori."

My mind raced, trying to grasp the gravity of her words. "What kind of curse, Mom? What happened?"

With a deep sigh, she continued, "Many years ago, an Alpha from Roan's lineage cruelly rejected his wolfless mate. He looked down upon her being wolfless. He played with her emotions, bullied her relentlessly, and even drove her to abort their unborn child. In her despair and fury, she turned to her friend—the most powerful witch of that time. Together, they cursed his bloodline. Every Alpha would bear the burden of making their mates wolfless. If you choose to be with Alpha Roan, you will lose your wolf. Your wolf will never wake up."

I felt a pang of sorrow at her words. But one glance at the orb, and I saw more than a curse. I saw the man I had loved long before I knew he was my mate.

"But..." I stammered, my resolve wavering. Despite the gravity of the curse, my love for Roan shone brighter. "Mom, I don't care anymore. I'm so sorry, but I will choose my mate!"

My mother’s eyes widened, pleading for me to reconsider. "Are you sure about that? Think carefully, my daughter. Won't you regret losing your wolf? Your essence, your spirit?"

I took a deep breath, the weight of my decision settling over me. "But, Mom, choosing my wolf means turning away from my fated mate. I choose Alpha Roan."

End of Flashback

A sense of regret washed over me. The choice I made out of love now seemed like a distant echo, reverberating with the wisdom I had not yet possessed. I had embraced my mate, only to realize too late the profound loss that came with that choice.

Before I knew it, the world outside the window had faded into darkness. I remained silent, not answering my mother's mind link. I couldn’t face her, not after the choices I had made. The weight of my regrets hung heavy, and I let the silence of the inn envelop me.

Lost in my thoughts, Roan's mind link abruptly intruded, his voice laced with impatience. "Why aren't you home yet? Where's dinner?"

The mere thought of returning to him filled me with a deep, unsettling revulsion. I had chosen to stay at the inn, savoring the quiet that was a stark contrast to the chaos I had left behind.

If only. If only I had heeded my mother’s warnings—the wisdom of the Moon Goddess. I might have been the Lunar Princess, radiating power and grace, rather than this pitiful Luna, subjugated by a faithless Alpha.

"I had something urgent to take care of," I lied, my voice steady despite the turmoil within. "Let the maids cook dinner tonight."

Roan's surprise was palpable. "What?" he exclaimed.

In the past, the very idea of eating food prepared by the maids was beneath him. I had been the one to cater to his every meal, meticulously preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My devotion had been total, unquestioning.

"Is there a problem?" I asked, my tone laced with a hint of challenge.

There was a pause before he responded, his voice softer, uncertain. "No. Just... take care of yourself."

"Thank you," I replied flatly, the words devoid of warmth.

The silence stretched between us, heavy and uncomfortable. Then Roan's voice broke through again, hesitant and searching. "Lori, are you angry?"

His question, so late in coming, stirred a flicker of something within me. Anger, perhaps, but mostly a profound disappointment. Was he truly this oblivious, or did he simply not care about my feelings? Yet, I realized with strange clarity that it no longer mattered. The anger had dissipated, leaving behind nothing but coldness.

"I’m not angry," I said, more to myself than to him. Anger was a luxury I could no longer afford.

In a tone tinged with apology, Roan reached out through our mind link. "Lori, it's not easy for Tracy to raise a child alone. She doesn’t know anyone else here. She only has me."

His words struck me like a slap. He seemed to forget that I, too, only had him. Of course, he didn't care.

"I understand already, okay? She must have been through a lot," I replied, striving for calmness.

However, upon hearing my sarcasm, my mate's response was immediate and defensive. "Lori, what’s that supposed to mean? What's with your attitude?"

"I said I already understand," I repeated, my voice now edged with a growing bitterness. "Is there a problem with that?"

"Do you have to talk to me like that?" he snapped, frustration creeping into his voice.

I sighed. "What do you want me to say?" I countered, feeling the frustration rise within me.

Silence fell between us, thick and oppressive. Finally, the Alpha muttered a defeated, "Fine! Do as you wish," before abruptly ending the mind link.

The irony was not lost on me. When I questioned his visits to Tracy, he found me annoying. When I asked when he would return from her place, I was still the bothersome one. Now, even trying to be understanding seemed to irritate him.

With a sigh, I closed my eyes tightly, fighting the urge to dwell on the endless cycle of disappointment. I needed to focus on something more important, like rediscovering my path, even if it meant becoming a stranger to myself. Could I do that, now that I had abandoned my wolf?

The night stretched on, and I lingered in the inn, lost in a whirlpool of regrets and what-ifs. The thought of returning to the pack house was unbearable. Yet, when I finally returned, my mate was already gone. I took a shower, hoping to wash away the day's burdens, and crawled into bed, seeking the solace of sleep.

Just as I began to drift off, the tranquility was shattered by Roan’s urgent mind link.

"Lori," he sounded as if he was in pain, "my… my stomach hurts."

I mumbled a response, but exhaustion pulled me back into the depths of sleep. In a dream, I vaguely heard my mate calling my name, but the sound felt distant and unimportant.

Sometime later, I was jolted awake by the sound of the door opening. Roan stood by the bed, his face etched with pain.

"Lori, why don’t you care anymore? You used to worry when I was sick!"

His words stirred memories I had tried to bury. Once, when Roan had a stomachache, I rushed to his office with medicine, despite the pouring rain. I arrived soaked and disheveled, a sight that drew laughter from his wolf subordinates. Roan had done nothing to stop them from mocking me—the Luna! Instead, he told me not to come to his office again because, in his words, I was an embarrassment.

If it hadn’t been for Beta Gavin and his thoughtful gesture of warming me up with my favorite chocolate tea, I might have shivered all the way back to the pack house. Gavin had always been my quiet savior. Every time Roan disrespected me or treated me like a mere servant, Gavin was there, finding ways to support me.

I realized now that Gavin had transferred to the Golden Moon Pack around the same time I did. We had known each other since childhood, growing up in the same town. We spent countless hours playing together, running through the woods like normal children. We even attended the exclusive school for wolves together. That was where I first saw Alpha Roan, and foolishly, I had fallen for him long before discovering he was my mate.

Lost in these memories, I was abruptly pulled back to the present as Roan appeared before me.

"Are you feeling better now?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. "We might be out of medicine. Maybe you can get some yourself."

Roan stared at me, his frustration mounting. Without warning, he grabbed my arm, his grip tight and demanding. "Lori, how long are you going to keep fighting with me about Tracy? I’ve told you, there’s nothing between her and me!"

His outburst seemed to hang in the air, but I met it with a calm that belied the turmoil inside me. "Oh, okay," I replied evenly, my lack of emotion contrasting sharply with his rage.

Roan’s frustration boiled over, and he slammed the door behind him as he stormed out. The silence that followed was liberating, a welcome reprieve from the storm of emotions he always brought with him.

As I sat in the quiet, I thought again of Gavin. He had always been a steady presence in my life, someone I could rely on without question.