Don't just break your walls down to let someone in, make them work for it, make them show that they are worth it. Wait for that one that is willing to climb your walls just to find you that will break them down just to get to you. The one that is looking for you, all that you are in body, mind, and soul. The worst reason to break down your walls is just for the physical, let love in before giving that part that you are not willing to expose.

I have done my very best to ignore Isabella again. It's day count two, I answer her briefly when I think it warrants. Yes, I am the dumb ass that starts it and when it comes to pulling through, I do my famous now you see me and now you don't hear from my act. The damn woman is fine and god knows I want her, not only physically but on a much deeper level than that, I just wish I can get past that part that is in the way...my leg.

I am sitting in the lounge with Matt and his new girlfriend when my phone rings.

It is Isabella.

"Stop ignoring the woman and answer the damn phone," Matt says with a hint of irritation in his voice. "You should have figured by now that she is not going to go away."

"I can't and you know it."

"Bro she likes you for you, not your damn leg."

"Matt! Watch your mouth. She does not know. And anyway she likes the full version of a person that is me, well that she thinks is me."

"Bro, I just wish you will out with it. You know that the old man is going to blow a valve when he finally finds out. I don't think Isabella will even think near the same."

My phone buzzes.

It's Isabella.

"I am starting to feel like a stalker bitch soldier, throw a girl some rope here."

"HAHAHA. Are you drowning girl?"

"Aha, he is alive! You're a sight for sore words. I am missing you over here in my whore house."

"Are you dreaming of spanking again?"

"Only of you my soldier. When am I going to see your sweet ass again, well I still need to see it and oh boy can't I wait to see it, I mean when can a girl see her man?"

"Mmmm your man? Now that I like the sound of. When did I become your man?"

"Since you have been feeding me all those honey kisses which by the way I am out of. I need some more like yesterday already!"

"Hahaha you will give a guy some serious big head here"

"HAHAHA, soldier get your ass here! There is some real head I would like to give you."

"What about me and Matty and his new attachment come for dinner?"

"As long as it brings me you then I am up for it."

"Perfect, this sweet ass will be coming up in an hour."

"I will crack out one of my finest whips just for you."

"Hahaha see you later my boo."

I wish I knew what I am doing, I mean I want to see her, yes, but I know I am going to push her away as soon as it gets too serious, I guess that is why I am taking Matt with. Maybe I should just stick my pride and tell her about it. Let's wait and see what happens tonight."

"Listen here dumb ass," I turn to look at Matt. "Whatever you had planned for this evening has just been canceled."

"Are you throwing me and my girl out the lounge for Isabella for Isabella?"

"No, you and..." I turn to the girl sitting next to Matt. "Sorry girl but I don't think I caught your name."

"It is Chloe."

I turn back to face Matt again. "You and Chloe are coming for dinner at Isabella."

"Are you perhaps trying to not be alone with her?"

"I am trying to avoid a situation where I need to lie to her or push her away again."

"Well," Chloe says. "I need to go home and change then and grab a few bottles of wine. Do you want to come with Matty? My parents aren't at home."

"Fuck girl," Matt excitedly says. "Only if you let me take them off with my teeth this time."

I listen in horror to the words coming out of his mouth. "Fuck man, that is not what I wanted to think about now, I hardly know the girl and now I got an image of her in my head with just her panties on."

"Damn bro, who said I was talking about her panties? You seriously need to get laid."

"Just get your ass out here and be there at seven, I will have your balls to the cat if you are late."

"Yup you need to get laid."

Matt and Chloe are out the door to her place so she can go change while I head upstairs to go do the same. I bump into my mother just as I am about to enter my room.

"Are you guys going over to Isabella tonight?"

"Mom, are you listening to our conversation again?"

"Your dad is annoying me, so I ignore whatever he says."

"Is he commentating on the story he is watching again?"

"I don't know why he watches it if he thinks he knows more than the presenter. It drives the shit out of me."

"I would invite you with to Isabella."

"Please no. I see enough of your brother's face down every girl in town's throat, I don't want to see yours too."

"Mom my face is not going to be down Isabella's throat."

"Oh my son, every time she is going to try touch that leg or talk about the core, it is definitely going to be down her throat."

"Mom I am just not ready yet."

"I understand, I really do. Now go have fun before the old man comes with his shit."

I head into my room and lock the door behind me so that I can change.

It takes me several attempts later and a very chaotic room full of clothes and I am finally ready to head off to Isabella."

I bump into my mom again as I leave through the back door.

"Good luck Clay."

"Thanks, mom, I think we are going to be home quite late, Matt's girl is whipping out the wine."

"Just be careful down here that late at night."

"Will do mom, love you."

I give her a kiss on the cheek and start heading up the road.

With every step that I take, it feels like my heart is getting smaller and smaller from the suffocating feeling I feel surrounding it. What the hell is wrong with me, it's only a girl, a girl I feel that I am about to die over. I have never felt so anxious in my life before, this is a good anxious but also a good scary one. She is worth every scary moment I feel but is she worth letting that wall down tonight.

As I get closer to her house, I see her sitting outside on the deck with a glass of wine in her hand. She is breathtaking, watching her brings a smile to my heart, god I wish, I wish so many things that I would want to do to her. The thing is, I have not even tried being with a woman with my leg like this. I mean, do you take it off or do you leave it on when you do it? And what can I do, is there like only certain positions that we can do, how do you even begin to have sex like this.

I clear my head and make my way up to her.

"Evening Miss Stubborn."

"Evening my soldier."

"You look amazing."

"Not half as amazing as what you make me feel now that I see you."

I take her glass of wine from her hands and put it on the table. I pull her into my embrace and deep into my chest.

"There is that rippled stomach that I have missed." She says as she runs her fingers over every inched of my rippled abs.

"I think you are confusing my muscles with my lips."

"Mmmmm there is that too."

My hands drift to her hips and I pull her closer. Slowly I press my lips against hers. Her plump, velvety lips against my slimmer, warm ones, dancing around and bonding together. My insistent mouth is parting her trembling lips, sending wild tremors through my body, and inflicting sensations I have never known I had. No one has ever kissed me like this, she is waking a feeling and slowly crumbling that wall.

"Mmmmm keep doing that and we sending your brother home."

"Talk about Matt, he is late."

"Early bro." Matt and Chloe come walking out of the house.

"We got here before you." Chloe hands me a glass of wine

"Glad we did cause by the looks of that you would be having each other for dinner," Matt says with a slightly amused smile on his face.

I reach over and slap him behind the head.

"Says Mister Casanova himself. You were probably trying to suck out her third lung inside the kitchen there."

He slaps me behind the head.

"Duh bro, you only have two lungs."

I slap him behind the head.

"I am sure Chloe has none left."

He slaps me behind the head.

"Are you boys going to slap each other the whole night like that?" Isabella asks as she watching the ping pong match of slapping heads. "I can always bring out that whip."

"Boo, I thought you keeping that for us for later? I wink at her and smile.

"Hahaha be careful what you wish for soldier."

Matt goes to feed wood to a big bonfire he is building, while the girls go inside to grab snacks and a full bottle of wine. "Just so you know for you f.y.i this girl is crazy about you bro."

"Why, did she say something?"

"He asked if you did not like her cause you keep pushing her away. Told her she must be patient, the core fucked you up."

"Geez I don't know if I should say thank you, but you right, the core did fuck me up for this woman."

"Bro the worst the girl can do is tell you to fuck off. Now just give her a chance maybe she won't."

"Matt, I hope you are right, she makes me feel things, you know things deep down inside that stir every string of your heart."

"Bro I think you call that being in love."

Just then the girls come back outside, we all cuddle up around the fire. Isabella is sitting on my left-hand side with her fingers interlocked in my hands. Her head is resting on my shoulder, the sweet scent of her almost feel her heart beating through her ears. Her touch and smell is overwhelming every feeling I feel inside. I gently take her hand and lay it on my leg.

"Is this the one that was broken?"

"No this is the better one of them."

"Was it sore?"

"Was what sore?"

"When you broke your leg?"

"Bella, boo, I never had so much pain in my life before, I thought I would die."

"Is that why you don't want to let me touch or talk about it?"

"There is a lot more to that story my boo."

"Are you going to tell me one day or are you going to keep on pushing me away?"

"You know how it is to be with a soldier."

"Yes, maybe I should call you Mr. Stubborn then."

If I have not said this before, I am saying this again. Life is made up of a series of defining moments, most of them determined by you but a few some by others. How I choose next will define what my relationship with Isabella will become.

"So what do you say, soldier? Will you spend the night with me?"

"I...uhm...I..."

She asked me to spend the night, not have sex, it does not mean that if that is the only thing I have on my mind right now that she has. She wants to share a bed with me, to sleep, well that is what I think. What the hell does spend the night mean these days?

"I promise I don't bite, well only if you don't want me too."

"If you allow me to bite back then I will definitely stay with you."

"You can do anything you want to me, soldier."

"You say anything?"

I lean down and softly kiss the tender area at the base of her neck.

"Mmmmm carry on doing that and I am definitely chasing your brother away."

"Can you keep that mouth still for one second so I can kiss those lips?"

"And if I don't?"

"Well, then I am just going to have to pin you down to that chair."

"Start pinning soldier boy because I ain't zipping them."

"Hahaha, I am not that easy my boo."

She leans her head closer to me and her lips meet mine. The touch is passionate and filled with hunger. There is a fire rushing through my veins.

"Mmmm you taste so sweet, I need more of that."

She runs her hand down my chest, tangling her fingers in my shirt's buttons.

"And I need more of this."

"Hahaha, you need more of my clothes?"

She bites at my lower lip.

"I want what is underneath this shirt."

"If you keep on biting like that you might just get it."

"I thought you were going to bite back?."

"Who said I was going to bite your lips."

"Hahaha, are you having dirty thoughts there soldier?"

"I was talking about your neck, what are you thinking about my boo?"

I pull her hair to the side to expose the bare of her neck, gently I lay soft kisses up and down. The fire that is burning between our bodies is twisting and turning, ready to explode."

Just as I start working my way back up to her tender smooth lips, Matt interrupts

"Hey lovebirds, me and Chloe are going to head on out, she is not feeling so well."

"Sure man, let me walk you out." Before he can even protest, I am up and ready to see him at the door.

"Chloe my ass is sick," I just look at him, knowing what stunt he is trying to pull. "Why don't you guys just stay here?"

"So you can have an excuse not to finish what you are starting there."

"I am not starting anything."

"Ya right you are only about to devour her like an animal there."

"She is goddamn gorgeous, how can I not want to."

"Bro don't overthink the shit, just see how far you are willing to take it."

"Hahaha if you see me with a shiner then you know how far it went."

"Hey, she might even surprise you. Now get back there before she gets cold."

"Fuck man, you make her sound like a piece of meat."

"Bro just get your dumb ass back there. I will see you in the morning."

I show both of them out and make my way back to Isabella. That calm carefree me of before is now completely gone, once again I am terrified to be alone with her.

As I turn the corner by the deck, she is sitting there as beautiful as ever.

"Do you want more wine soldier?"

"Please boo, let me go grab a full bottle."

I make my way to the kitchen, I know what I am doing and I better stop it, it is not like I can come to the kitchen every half hour now can I. Trust me I swear I will find something else to do. Maybe I should just go home. Second thought, maybe she does not want more and I am just overthinking shit as Matt said.

I get a bottle of red from the counter and make my way back to the deck. Before I sit down again, I pour us both a full glass.

"Shame I hope Chloe feels alright."

"Com one boo, do you really think she is sick? As far as I know, her parents are away for the weekend."

"Hahaha look at me being a dumb bimbo."

"Hahaha, you said that not me."

"Hey, you better watch out soldier."

"Or what?."

She puts her glass down on the table, my body freezes.

"Or this."

Our lips crash together like colliding stars. Everything around us fades away, the only thing that exists is the passion and the spark between us. My hand moves to the back of her head and my fingers tangle in her thick brown hair, pulling her even closer. I press my tongue to the seam of her lips and delve inside her mouth.

"Mmmm you have never kissed me like this before." She says as a small moan escapes from her lips.

"Do you want me to stop?"

She does not answer, she goes to work at the buttons of my shirt. Undoing them slowly, one by one, until she has me fully exposed. Her hands work their way around my body, feeling each crevasse, each line along my perfect chest. She runs her hand down to the lining of my denim and slides it between the fabric and my skin. My entire body stiffens.

"I..I...hold that thought, I need to go to the bathroom."

"Fuck soldier, you have the worst timing in the world."

I rush off my chair and go to the bathroom. Fuck! What is wrong with me, I have the most gorgeous woman in the world all over me and I keep on running away.

I drop my pants to the floor and sit on the side of the bath. I need to see how bad my leg is still bruised from the other day and if I want her to see it. I relax my leg and press the depress release button on the top part of my prosthesis. Gently and slowly I move the prosthesis just a little from the remaining part of my leg and release the button. I proceed to slowly pull the prosthetic socket from my leg. The bruising has gone down a bit but do I still want her to see it.

I put my leg back on and join up with her at the deck again.

"I almost thought you went all missing on me there again soldier."

"Hahaha, you missing me that much already."

"Come here so I can show you how much I have really missed you."

She pulls my closer by my belt and presses her lips against my rippled stomach. I gasp and a deep moan escapes my lips.

"Mmmm that feels amazing boo."

She runs her hand over the bulge that is forming in my pants.

"Oh god, Isabella!"

Is the only words I can get out before she massages me in the palm of her hand.

"Fück Isabella."

She continues to rub my ever so growing erection. I am throbbing and ready to explode.

"Boo if you keep doing that then I am going to explode."

"But that is the whole point soldier."

"Fuck I don't even think I will last for a minute."

How do I give her what she wants without having to bare myself nude in front of her, I am not ready, not today, maybe tomorrow or the day after but not today?

I lift her up from the chair around the waist and slide her ass onto the cold table. She screams at the touch. "Damn that is freezing. I knew I should not have worn a skirt."

"But then I could not have done this."

I slide my hand up her thighs and knot my fingers in the elastic of her panties. I slowly start pulling them down her legs.

"What are you doing soldier,"

"Sshh. Do you want me to stop?"

"Mmmm please don't."

She raises her knees as I pull her panties over and toss them to the side.

She works at the buckle of my pants but I push her body down onto the table and pin her down by her hands. I look at her half-naked body that is glowing in the light of the moon. I have not had a woman for as long as I can remember and I want her now.

"Isabella, I want you, I don't think I can keep it in anymore."

"Soldier, I have wanted you since the very first day we met."

"Fuck boo."

I start to unbuckle my belt and drop my pants just enough not to see my prosthetic leg.

Then before I know-how, our naked skin is moving softly together and I am inside of her. She arches her back, I grab her by the waist and I plunge into her. She screams and grabs the edges of the table. I slow down and our tongues entwine in a kiss. In seconds I am thrusting and fucking her again.

"Ohhh soldier that feels so good."

"Do you want me to go faster boo?"

"Mmmm yes go faster."

She gyrates in slow insistent circles, I rock with every thrust. Our bodies are bucking and arching and colliding in almost perfect rhythm.

"Fuk Isabella you feel so good."

"Mmmm go harder soldier."

I keep up the rhythm relentlessly. With each stroke, I slide my hot throbbing flesh completely into her. I drive in deeper, with each thrust increasing pace.

"Boo I am not going to last for much longer."

I can no longer resist the increasing pressure. It's hard to hold back, to make the moment last. I am so caught between the intoxication of the climax and extending a moment, I never want it to end.

I let out a deep growl as I find my release. With one final thrust, my body shudders, and I explode inside of her. In that split second every nerve in my body is electrified.

My body falls down panting until we both catch our breaths

Once I have regained my balance, I quickly pull up my pants before she gets off the table.

Wow, soldier where did you learn that?"

"Hahaha, definitely not at the Corps."

"Did not take you for the table kind of guy."

"Hey a man had to improvise, did not think I would make it to the bedroom."

"Hahaha, we are going to have to go to the bedroom sooner or later."

And that poses a whole new problem. I cannot sleep with my prosthesis. I might have avoided the sex part but how do I get past this one.

They say that broken people give broken love. But are all people not broken in some way, it just depends how well you sow yourself up at the start of each day.

I am not ready to show Isabella how broken I really am but I also do not want to mess up this good thing that we have.

I have one of two choices, I walk out and this ends here or I stay and might not be able to walk for the next few days. The last time I slept with my prosthetic leg on, I hurt my stump and could only use my crutches for those next couple of days. And that poses a completely new problem as I do not have crutches here. Yes, I am so over thinking this but all decisions come with consequences.

"Boo."

"Yes, soldier?"

"Come here."

I pull her closer.

"Yes, soldier?"

"I just wanted to taste your sweet lips."

"You starting something again?"

"Sshhh. Just kiss me.

She lifts herself up on her toes, and my face goes down to hers. I kiss her. The kiss speaks. It begs. It wants, it wants more than I am willing to give. Her fingers grip my hair, pulling me closer. My veins throb and my heart explode. I have never wanted anyone as much as I want her. She plays with the stubble on my face. Her touch feels warm and soft. My hands are everywhere, I want her closer and closer. I want to breathe her, taste her, touch her, I want her to consume my senses.

"Do you want to go to bed," I ask quite nervously for I have no idea what I am going to do now? "I think it's something past midnight."

"I got some sweats from my husband that should fit you."

"How can I say no to that?"

"Hahaha ok, that sounds bad unless you want to wear mine."

"As much as I am tempted to slip on your pink sweats, I am sadly going to have to pass."

This could just work. She disappears off to the guest room and comes back with a pair of grey sweats.

I quickly head off to the bathroom while she goes into her bedroom.

"Are you scared to change in front of me, soldier?"

"Can't let you feel and see it all on one day now can I."

"What? You telling me I have to work for it?"

"Boo this is all yours if you want it, you ain't going to work for anything."

I slowly walk up to her and pull her closer and wrap her in my arms. With her, in my embrace, it is as if the world has stopped still. There is no time. My mind is at peace. How could it be that I have not noticed this before? She is pure, unselfish, and undemanding. This is what I have waited for. A woman like this is to be cherished for life. Finally, I feel like I am at home

"Boo."

"Yes, my soldier?"

"There is something we need to talk about."

"Fuck, am I pregnant?"

"Hahaha, I somehow think that would be far better news than this."

"What is the matter then?"

"Would you like me if I was any less of a man than you think I am?"

"How can you possibly be any less of a man?"

"Just humor me. What if I am not all than what I seem to be?"

"I don't understand you soldier?"

"What if my body does not work all the ways it should be?"

"Trust me your body works perfectly fine."

"Hahaha trust you to see the silver lining to something you don't even know about yet."

"Soldier, I know where you came from, I know that your mind might be a bit broken and that does all."

I can't do this. My mind is the last thing she needs to worry about but then again the nightmares show that maybe that is also not quite all there as well.

"Do you get nightmares at night?" she asks me as I can see the clear concern in her eyes.

"Whenever I close my eyes, it's the same thing over and over again."

"Mark also used to have those, he used to scream himself awake at night. He used to go sleep in the guest room just so he won't wake me up."

"Boo, what happened to him?"

"Their Humvee he was traveling in hit a mine, he was blown to shit. They sent what was left of him home in a body bag just big enough for a child."

"God Isabella, I am so sorry."

I wrap my arms around her and stroke her long brown hair. She buries her face into the crook of my neck and we stand like this for a while, she cries and my heart aches for her. I don't want her to hurt. It feels as if when she is in my arms all her pain will go away. If we could only stay in each other's arms forever, we will be safe from the world.

"Come boo, let's go to bed."

I lay down next to her on the bed, laying on my right-hand side, keeping my leg away from her. I fall asleep with her wrapped close to me. For some reason tonight, with her in my arms, my sleep is not riddled with nightmares.

Morning comes too soon. When I open my eyes, she is not next to me. I get up to go find her but I am rocked to my core with incredible pain.

"AAHHH FUCK!"

She comes rushing into the room.

"Are you okay soldier?"

"Yes, I think I must have hurt my back sleeping funny."

"Shit, I don't even have painkillers."

"It's fine boo, I will get some from home."

I try to get up but the pain shoots straight through my stump.

"FUCK!"

"Please tell me what I can do? What must I do?"

"I'm fine boo, I just need to get home."

I try standing up again.

"GODDAMMIT!"

"Must I phone Matt?"

"Please boo, ask him to bring the car."

She rushes to go find my phone. I muster all my strength and bite on my lip as I walk the way to the lounge.

"FUCK!"

"He is on his way soldier, just hang in there."

"Please come here boo."

She moves closer to me.

"Thank you."

"For what soldier?"

"For being you."

I gently lean in and give her a kiss on her warm soft lips. It is slow, soft, and comforting. My hand rests below her ear, my thumb caresses her cheek as our breaths mingle. She runs her fingers down my spine, pulling me closer until there is no space left between us and I can feel the beating of her heart against my chest.

Then there is a knock on the door.

"Come in Matt"

Matt comes into the lounge

"Bro, what is wrong?"

"I messed up my back, I need to get my pills."

He knows full well that I am lying. But he helps me up and walks me to the car. I give Isabella a kiss before getting in.

"I will speak to you later boo."

"Please rest soldier, I will speak to you soon."

With that Matt pulls off and heads home.

"I take you did not tell her?" Matt asks with both concern and sadness in his eyes.

"Matty please do not grind my ass now, I just need to get home."

"Bro I am just worried about you, what happened?"

"I was laying on it the whole night. The pressure must have restricted my blood flow so it has swollen now and the damn friction has to cause fucking blisters."

"I see, you fucked yourself up because you were too proud to tell the girl you in love with."

"What did I say about grinding my ass?"

"Well the old man is on his own mission, I just hope he does not start his shit with you because you never went home last night."

"Fuck I forgot to send mom a message, she is going to kill me."

"Don't worry, I did. I knew you would be too busy scoring. I hope you damn well did, especially after fucking yourself up like this."

"Don't stress man that one was easier to get past than the sleeping bit."

"Damn dog."

"And no, you are not getting any details."

"Bro, I don't even think you lasted a minute."

"Your ass, I at least made it to five."

"Hahaha, it is still something I won't brag about."

We come to a stop in the driveway at home. I brace myself for the shit that is about to go down.

"Do you want me to help you?" Matt asks as he climbs out of the car.

"Nah, I think I will manage."

I get to climb out of the car.

"AAHHH FÜCK!"

"Bro let me help you."

"It's fine, I am taking it off."

I pull up my denim as far up as I can and take my buddy off. I can see the horror on Matt's face as he watches me do it. His expression is blank and his mouth is almost gaping."

"Can you help me now, I don't think I have the strength to hop it on my own."

He stands there wordless just staring at my leg.

"Matt!"

He does not move.

"Matt! It's just a damn leg. Please help me."

"Sorry bro, that shit is sick."

"Hahaha, what is going to be sick is if I smack you against your ass. Please help me before the old man comes."

But it's too late, mom comes rushing out the door. "Clay, baby, are you okay? Matt said you got hurt."

"Nice going Matt," I glare over to where Matt is standing next to me. "For someone that lies to woman all day long, you are sure a bad liar when it comes to mom."

"Clay, what can I do?" my mom asks concerned for she has no idea what to do. "Tell me what you need?"

"Mom let Matty just get me inside first."

And then all hell breaks loose. My dad comes storming outside in full force.

"What is the commotion outside here for? You boys don't come home then you come throw up noise so early in the morning."

"Oh Richard just keeps quiet," my mom snaps at him. "Clay is hurt, just keep your judgemental ass comments to yourself."

"What are you on again about Denice?"

"

My father comes around to where Matt is helping me out the car. "WHAT THE FÜCK!

I completely ignore him as he speaks. "Matt, mom, please just help me up."

"Clayton what happened to you?" he carries on. "FUCK I told you not to go to that place. What happened to you?"

"Dad, please, not now" I beg as another sharp pain stings through my leg.

"Don't not now me," he completely ignores my plea. "What the fuck happened to you. Why don't I know about this? Why does everyone else know and I don't? What the fuck is going on here?"

"Dad can we please talk after I have looked at my leg."

"NO! We are talking now! When did this happen? I told you so many times not to go and you did not want to listen, look now what has happened."

"Richard shut the fuck up and get out our way! NOW!"

"But Denice look at the child,"

"Yes Richard, look at the child, he is your son, and right now he needs to look at his leg and not listen to your shit. Now get out the way. Now!"

Matt and mom take me to my room and I sit down on the bed.

"What do I need to do Clay?" my mom asks as they sit me down on my bed.

"Mom just bring me some warm water and soap. I got some gauze and bandage in that bag."

"Where is your painkillers bro?" Matt asks.

"In the bathroom, thanks."

"Do you want water with that?" my dad surprisingly asks

"Yes please, dad."

Everyone goes their way to grab whatever it is that I need. If I did not insist on keeping it from my boo, I would not be sitting here in pain but hey, at least my dad knows now.