I have always loved my husband until this very moment that I'm soaking my pillow with tears and phlegm. I have shown kindness and submissiveness to him but he still treats me with levity. For a good four years, I was loyal and patient with him. I hoped that if I persevered with him, he would soften towards me.

“Why does it hurt so much?” I held my aching stomach. The doctor says the pain will cease and that I have to endure it but it has been two days already but it still hurts. Both my tummy and my chest. I reached for the paper beside me and ruffled it on my chest. It's my pregnancy test results. It is positive. I was happy when I heard that I was going to give birth to my baby. I was pregnant by Brandon Stephen, my husband. But my happiness was cut short when the doctor told me that I was drugged which led to a heavy bleeding and I eventually lost the baby and I also lost seventy percent of my womb’s chance of accommodating another baby. That means I might never get pregnant again.

It is him. It is Brad. I could remember vividly when I told him I was pregnant. He was happy even though I feared he was going to be angry but he was happy and that allayed my fears. He proposed we toast to the good news. I remember drinking his favorite wine and when I retired to my bed that night, blood was gushing down my thighs. I called his phone for hours but he didn't pick up. I shouted and called for help, but even though my husband's room was just opposite mine, he didn't come to rescue me. I passed out on the cold marble floor and woke up in the hospital to the news that the little one growing inside of me was gone. Brad Steph was nowhere beside me.

“Jemma” I heard his voice. Before now, I would have jumped off the bed in excitement and rushed into his cold arms but I just sat on my bed, expecting his entrance and glaring at the door as if to yank it off its post. “Jemma. Where's my breakfast?” He barged into my room. Yes, my room was always open to him and I loved it but I'm only seeing how rude and intrusive that single act is.

“You have no fingers to knock?” I asked instead.

He was caught off guard by my question or maybe it's from my menacing tone. I haven't used that voice to speak to anyone in years. Brad tamed the feisty and outspoken me.

He ignored my question and insisted I answer him.

“Well, I'm not your maid” I stated with a tone of finality and stood up from the bed. Despite my seemingly defiant nature. My heart was beating fast. I once loved this man. What if he didn't drug me and I'm just accusing him wrongly? What if he didn't see my calls because his phones were not within his reach? What if he couldn't come to the hospital because he had an accident. Different thoughts ran through my mind.

“You've always served me…”

I cut him off. “. . . Breakfast since I married you” I mimicked and put on my flip flops.

“Where were you two nights ago?” I asked him. “I was home” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“You heard me shout for help when I was bleeding. I passed out in my own blood and you took me to the hospital. You couldn't even wait to see how I was doing? Not even a call?” I peered into his eyes. For one reason that I couldn't place a thought on, I want him to make up an excuse to convince me. To tell me I got it all wrong and it was just my wild imagination. He heaves. “Yes”

“Yes?” The flickering light of hope in me quenched that instant. He just confirmed killing my baby. He just admitted that he left intentionally. Everything was intentional. “You killed my baby” I lost it and yelled like a mad woman. My entire being that has been on hold under this indifferent man finally let loose. His face was contorted in bewilderment. I had never shouted at him in our four years of hellish marriage. Not even when he tried so hard to provoke me. I endured it all.

“It was just clumps of blood, Jemma” He said. My head sparked a thousand flames in just that second. “My baby? You murderer!”

“Stop being delusional!” He yelled at me and I was still in shock. “Stop acting like the victim. Do you want to give birth to a child and make the innocent one suffer?” Suffer? Brad Stephen is one of the wealthiest billionaires in the whole country and he's talking about suffering. He'd better say something more convincing.

“I never loved you. You yourself know that this whole marriage is a sham. Why are you saving something that does not exist?” He groaned.

“Why did you marry me? Why didn't you let me know?” My whole world crashed before me. I thought Brad was just among the people that find it hard to express loving emotions. Even his mother told me that that is his nature and behind all that stoic and nonchalant act is a Brad Stephen who loves me to the moon and back but now he's speaking for himself. A story different from the one I heard from his mother. “It's because you were available and mother said I must get married in order to get my inheritance. I thought you were going to leave after a few months if I showed you that I don't care but you stayed. Mother can't hear that I filed for a divorce first” He blurted.

His “I was available” statement rang in my head. My legs wobbled and shook under pressure. I held the head board and looked at the shiny marble floor with misty eyes. The floors that I cherish have turned to one I wish I never stepped foot on. “I want a divorce” I muttered. There's no going back. I can't stay here anymore.

“Good” I watched him fetch his phone from his pocket in a frenzy. For the first time since we got married, I saw him smile. He smiled to the sound of divorce. “I will call the lawyer to bring the papers now” He said. The divorce papers have always been ready. I was just the only one that was blind to see that I just needed to say the word.

“Babe… we are free from her, right?” I heard a shrill voice from the entrance of my room.

It was our maid whom we sacked a year ago. I knew there was another lady but I didn't once think that it could be the maid. “Sara?” I called unbelievably.

“Oh please! Don't act so naive. My name is Emma” She rolled her eyes and looked away.

“Babe, what are you doing here? I told you to wait for me in the room” Brad held her waist and kissed her.

“I just wanted to make sure I talk some sense into her if she's not yielding to leave you” She eyed me.

I chuckled and turned to Brad. “Seriously? A maid”

“Hold it! I'm not a maid. Well, he loved me first but you had to force marriage on him after managing to convince his mother. I just had to act as a maid and be with my man and you believed like the fool that you are” She sneered.

Yes, I was a fool. I agree but not anymore. I removed the ring that has stayed on my fingers for four straight years and threw it on him. “Have a good life” I walked out of the room for them.

“Baby! We are finally free” Emma squealed.

I heard them jam palms together. They both planned the murder of my baby. “It's not the time to be weak” I wiped the tear traces on my cheeks.

★

That night, as I packed my bags, I could hear their voices everywhere in the mansion. They played loud music and shouted at the top of their voices, something Brandon has never done with me. In fact, anytime I play music that is too loud, he told me that I am inelegant and not sophisticated.

I managed to block the deafening sound from my ears as I continued packing. I made sure to leave all the dresses he bought for me. The wedding anniversary gifts that he grudgingly brings home and throws at me while I catch it, thinking it was fun not knowing I was at the receiving end of degradation. I finished packing my things and zipped up my mini travelling bag.

The music has stopped now but I could hear heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. “Baby, take me right now” I heard Sara's sultry and drunken voice. They must have been so happy to get rid of me.

“Yes darling. You want me, don't you?” My eyes widened as I listened to his sweet, deep and seductive voice. He has never acted like this with me. My matrimonial bed is a tug of seriousness and starts to finish with no sort of kinky romance to spice anything up. I thought that was the norm. Their loud moans and groans intruded my thoughts. Tears welled in my eyes once more. Brandon never makes any sound when he's with me and when I moan he says I sound like a dragon so I stopped making any sound too.

I picked up the phone I had abandoned inside my suitcase and switched it on. My finger lingered on the screen for a while. “What are you doing? Press the button!” My subconscious yelled at me. I went to the call log and dialed a number that I didn't know I would dial in years to come. The call got picked on the first ring. “I'm coming home tomorrow”

“This has always been your home, ma'am. You're welcome anytime” The receiver replied. With that being said, I ended the call. Few minutes later, a flight ticket was sent to my phone. I stared at it and for some reason, I cried for my baby.

★

“Welcome boss…welcome milady…welcome ma'am” The guards and maids who were lined up on different rows in the compound all chanted and bowed when they saw me get down from the Rolls-Royce that was sent to pick me up from the airport. “Thank you everyone” I beamed. “Big sister” A tall lanky girl engulfed me in a bone crushing hug. “Amelia?” I called in surprise. “Yes, it is me” She tightened her hold. The Amelia I left four years ago was chubby. How come she's as light as a feather now. I can even carry her and twirl around now. “I miss you” She whimpered, still holding onto me.

“I'm here now” I assured her and broke the hug. She circled her arms around mine and led me to where mum and dad were standing. These people definitely did not age. At that moment, I felt like a prodigal daughter. I know I'm always welcome here but will they really forgive me? I left them to be with a man who doesn't know my worth. “Mum, dad, I'm so…” Before I could finish apologizing, they both engulfed me in a hug at the same time. “You silly child. What have you been through?” Mum sobbed. “Welcome daughter” My dad patted my back calmly. He was trying to hold his tears from falling behind his glasses. Mum's hug lingered on and on. “Maria, let the poor girl breathe in fresh air. She just came back from a long journey” Father opined.

“Well, you weren't there with me when I was pumping her out in the labour room so how would you know how it feels” Mother hugged me tighter. They haven't stopped their childish tantrums. “Well, I was in the toilet pumping out my intestines because I couldn't stand the sight” Father pressed on.

“Well, I went through what you couldn't stand to see” Mother stuck out her tongue. She always wins. Father said nothing and turned to me. “Come on in’ He ushered and turned towards the entrance. “I made your favorite meal” Mother held onto my right arm while Amelia held onto the left one. We all followed dad inside the house while the maids dragged my suitcase behind. Yes, I was loved and pampered at home.

★

During lunch, mother made sure to give me extra servings by herself. “Eat more”

“Come on, mum. She is married to a billionaire, do you think she has been starving?” Amelia rolled her eyes. She's right. I've gone through all sorts of maltreatment and emotional abuse from Brandon but starvation and domestic assault are not included. “You don't look like you feed well” Mother muttered. “I'm fine, mum” I flashed her a reassuring smile. “So, how is your husband? He didn't follow you?” Mum asked.

They didn't know that I got divorced. “I got a divorce”

“Good” Father interjected. He was never in support of our marriage and he tried everything in his capacity to not make it happen but I was hell bent on marrying him. Father was right after all. “Your position in the office is always available” He added. “I will start on Monday, father” I announced. “Eat up” Mum said hurriedly and continued dishing larger portions of food. I felt guilty. I couldn't tell them I had a miscarriage. I felt ashamed too that I had lost in marriage.

“Goodnight Jemma” Amelia pecked my cheeks before entering her room. “Good night darling” I waved at her as she disappeared into her room and locked the door. Now it's only me with my thoughts. I entered my room and jammed it close. That went more smoothly than I had imagined. My phone vibrated, sending me a notification. I checked it to see that Brandon Stephen has posted a new picture with his new girl and captured it “Forever”. I had never appeared on his social media pages before. Swarms of messages flooded my phone that instant. “I'm glad he left you… understanding wife of the year…I thought you said he's yours forever…” The messages and comments continue to spring up. Then a message from his mother springs up. “Jemma, what am I hearing? I want to see you first thing tomorrow morning” I could sense her authoritative stance from the text. I shook my head and mumbled. “You're never seeing me” Without hesitating, I deactivated all my social media accounts, removed my sim and broke it into crumbs and disposed of the phone into the trash can. A knock sounded on the door and mum peeped in. “Are you asleep already?” She asked.

“No mum, you can come in” I quickly adjusted myself. She came in and sat in front of me. “How are you doing?” She asked calmly. I'm not fine, mum. I lost my baby. “I'm fine” I replied instead. “Are you sure you're okay?” She asked in her usual soothing voice that makes you want to reveal all your secrets to her. It has always worked. I burst into the tears I've been holding. “He said he didn't love me. He said I was just available”

“Oh my poor baby. Come here” I snuggled closer to mum's arms. “Don't beat yourself too much. You still have your whole life ahead of you. You have many things to achieve in this life” Mum encouraged while I sobbed like a baby in her arms. “And don't forget that I'm always with you in any choices you make” She held my shoulders and held me up. “Thank you mum” I bit my lips and looked down. I opened my mouth to tell her everything but nothing came out. “You know you can tell me anything, Jemma. I am your mother and I won't judge you” She squeezed my hand gently. “I was pregnant” I mumbled and looked down instinctively. “Really? That's good news” She squealed like a baby. I could see the happy glint in her eyes now and it broke me. She noticed my down gaze and shifted closer. “What's wrong darling? You don't want the baby?” She asked. “I was pregnant mum” I told her again, more slowly this time. Her palm flew to her mouth in horror when she realized what I meant. She moved closer and hugged me tightly again. “I'm so sorry. I didn't know this is what you've been through”

“He killed my baby, mum. He drugged my drink and left me to bleed till I passed out” I cried harder. “He drugged you?” Mum's gaze hardened. “He dares drug you? Who does he think he is? I'm suing him” She stood up in rage and proceeded to leave. I stood abruptly and obstructed her. “What are you doing?” She quizzed unbelievably.

“Don't sue him, mum” I muttered. “Why?” She was shocked. “I just don't want to prolong this. I don't think I can stand to see him again” I explained. She peered into my eyes suspiciously. “Did he threaten you with anything?”

“No mum” I whined. “Please, do this for me. This is what I want” I clasped my palms together. “Fine” She shrugged. “But I will…” I couldn't wait for her to finish her statement before I rushed off to the bathroom to puke. I have been feeling nauseous since the day of the miscarriage incident. “Are you okay? Jemma!” Mum ran after me. I rinsed my mouth in the sink. “I'm fine. It's one of the after effects of a miscarriage” I said. She nodded and handed me a napkin to clean my mouth.

“Make sure you get a lot of rest” She accompanied me to my bed. “I will, mum. Goodnight”

“Do you want me to stay with you?” I knew she was worried so I flashed her a smile and shook my head. “I will be fine, mum”

★

Monday

I entered my father's company with renewed hope and confidence. The familiar sweet smell of business waxed into my nostrils. “I'm back now” I muttered with my head held high, I walked towards the elevator. “Is that not Miss Jemma?. . . Yes she is!. . . The pretty CEO daughter who got married to the billionaire… I heard they got divorced already but damn she's glowing” I heard different side comments coming from the employee but I didn't turn nor flinch. “Let them get used to the glow” I smirked as the elevator door closed slowly. I got to the elevator entrance and as expected I saw the impatient girl I left behind pacing to and fro. “Bella” I smiled. She froze on a spot before turning slowly. Then she went into a fit of dramatic euphoria as she ran to hug me. “Boss” She carried me and twirled me around. “Put me down…you're embarrassing me” I told her gently and laughed embarrassingly. She can be extra sometimes. She dropped me and bowed deeply. “I miss you boss. You're welcome, boss” I heard her sniffing. She's really crying. “Let's go in. I got something for you” I winked and led the way. “I love you boss” She yelled behind me. Very dramatic girl. Bella was my secretary before I left the country to go stay with my ex-husband. She is a very reliable and trustworthy lady. When dad refused to put anyone in my position, I told her to look after the office. “Wow” I couldn't help but exclaim when I entered my office. “I did a good job right?” She beamed proudly. “Good job? You did a great job darling?” I looked around the sparkling clean office. Everything was as it was when I left. “I had to take out the plants every time they wither” She told me. I nodded. She really did a good job. My eyes caught the fish swimming diligently in the aquarium. My eyes widened in surprise. “Is that…”

“Yes, that's your fish. I made sure to feed it well and book an appointment with the doctor every now and then” She responded. “Oh my gosh! She looks so big now” I rushed towards the purple-themed aquarium. I traced my fingers across the glass surface and giggled. “I'm glad you're healthy, Tale” Tale is the name of my fish. “Jemma” I froze on the spot. I recognize that voice. I know it's inevitable to not bump into him but this is so soon. I don't think I can face him now. What should I do?