I was born in Souten, a village so ordinary that its only noteworthy trait was its poverty.

The Lewis family was one of the better-off households there, owning three mud houses and some meager fields. They had enough to feed themselves and a little left over to sell for money.

In this place, where sons were highly valued over daughters, my little sister, Amber Lewis, and I still managed to have enough to eat.

I knew my parent had always wanted a son, and I was aware that daughters in even poorer families were often sold at birth or drowned in the river behind the mountains if they couldn't be sold.

For this reason, I was grateful to them and would eagerly do all the chores. I cooked, cleaned, chopped wood, fed the pigs, and cleaned the pigsty... I fear they might find me useless.

Later, when my mother became pregnant, smiles became more frequent on their faces.

They even shared some of the nourishing chicken soup meant for my mother with Amber and me. The golden bowl, glistening with oil droplets, had a piece of chicken settling at the bottom.

Holding the bowl carefully, Amber and I swallowed our saliva over and over, glancing at each other, neither daring to sip the sacred broth first.

It wasn't until my mother urged us to wash the dishes that we finally, reluctantly, drank the soup.

It was delicious. I licked the bowl clean, and Amber chewed on the bone scraps, trying to suck out every last bit of juice before spitting them out.

I cleaned the stove and boiled water, bringing it into my mother's room for her to soak her feet.

As she gently caressed her barely swollen belly, she leaned against my father, her face brimming with hope. They mused about my younger brother's future, from choosing his name to imagining his university days and eventual marriage.

I carefully massaged my mother's feet, hearing her voice loftily reach my ears. I looked up at her.

"Angela, make sure you look after your brother. How much money will you give him when he gets married?" Her usually pale, wrinkled face glowed with a rare maternal radiance.

Though I knew her concern was for my brother, I still felt overjoyed.

Excitedly, I replied, "I'll give him everything!"

They were thrilled to hear this, praising me for my thoughtfulness.

Back in my room, I shared the conversation with Amber, who was equally delighted.

"I'll give our little brother a hundred million!"

2

The good times didn't last long; a fierce storm ruined this year's harvest.

The atmosphere at home turned cold and oppressive.

Dad sat in the yard, smoking his pipe all through the night, while Mom sighed on the bed.

I knew they were worried about my unborn brother.

So, I became even more reticent, diligently doing chores, careful not to provoke the adults' ire.

Even the little free time I had was spent picking fruits on the mountain or fishing in the river to earn some money to help with household expenses.

When I finally handed over the money I had saved up to my parents, a flicker of light appeared in my mother's dim eyes; her brow relaxed slightly, and she showed a faint smile.

It was only then that I could slightly ease my worries, thinking that as long as I was a bit more sensible and worked a little more complicated, things would surely get better.

But bad things still happened.

That day, after cutting grass for the pigs and returning home, I put down my basket and looked around the house but couldn't find Amber.

"Amber, Amber!"

The midday sun outside was fiercely hot, casting a stark, blinding glare, while cicadas screeched tirelessly.

The main hall was empty, and Amber, who should have been playing in the back room, was nowhere to be seen.

A sudden emptiness gripped my heart, and a fine, cold sweat broke out on my palms and soles as I frantically searched from room to room.

"What's all the noise about? I guess you're full and have the energy! Go wash the clothes." My mom, clutching her waist, emerged from the kitchen on the side, her eyebrows tightly furrowed.

A sudden realization thundered in my head. My hands, hanging by my sides, couldn't stop trembling. I almost collapsed to the ground, swallowing hard. "Where's Amber?"

My mom passed by me, paused, and looked down with a gaze that held no evasion. "Dead," she said, then averted her gaze and stepped into the inner room. "You're just despicable, not destined for better."

"Go wash the clothes, or you won't have dinner tonight."

Her voice floated from the inner room, airy and tinged with a hint of pride, a hint of relief.

Despite our poor home, I thought we were always a family, that they at least loved us, though they loved my brother more.

It turns out that wasn't the case. Amber and I could be discarded at any time, unloved.

At dinner, seeing my father's gloomy face, I knew he was aware of it, too.

So, I didn't bother asking anything further.

Tonight's dinner was unusually lavish, with two types of salads, ham and a big bowl of chicken soup on the table.

Seeing me cry, Mother sneered, "Oh, don't eat the meal Amber paid for with her life, you worthless creature!"

I bowed my head and shoveled a mouthful of the dishes, tears falling in large drops, yet my tongue couldn't help but savor this rare, delicious taste.

The next day, while working in the fields, I overheard people from the village talking and learned that Amber hadn't died; she had been sold.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I was glad that she wasn't dead.

"Angela, you have no idea how wealthy the visitors were yesterday. They bought three girls in one go; Amber went off to live a better life."

The logic seemed sound to me. Perhaps being bought by a wealthy person was better than staying here. At least there would be food at every meal.

She looked at me closely, then added, "But you're not as fortunate; you don't have Amber's beauty, and nobody would want you."

Suddenly, I understood what my mother meant when she said I was not destined for better.

I felt happy for Amber, but a strange feeling subtly crept into my heart.

The money from Amber's sale bought us that meal, and after that, even heavier burdens were placed upon my shoulders.

Days passed, and my mother's belly grew more extensive, signaling the impending birth.

My uncle's wife, Samantha Lewis, came to visit, fanning herself and eyeing my mother's round belly with a sigh. "Oh dear, that belly is so round; it looks like it's going to be a girl. It would be quite the joke if after selling Amber, you gave birth to another girl."

I've only just realized why my mother, who once had a bit of maternal love, has changed so drastically.

In the Lewis family, my father was the youngest son and oddly received the largest share of the inheritance, which always made the other branches resentful, leading them to mock and scorn us frequently.

Especially after my mother had two daughters in a row while my uncles had sons, their arrogance only increased.

This year, the harvest failed again, and it worsened my father's temper. He began to hit and yell at my mother, who, in turn, became harsh towards us.

My mother was so infuriated by these words that after Samantha left, she furiously pounded on my back, saying, "You're such a loss, if not for you, I wouldn't be looked down upon. Why don't you just die?"

Her blows almost caused me internal injuries, but it was nothing compared to the heartache of realizing I honestly wasn't loved.

That night, my mother was so upset that she went into premature labor and had a son.

My nightmare began then.

4

When my brother was born, my parents cherished him like the apple of their eye, even forbidding me from touching him.

"Keep your dirty hands away, what if you hurt him with your rough hands?" I brought chicken soup to my mother resting in bed and couldn't resist pulling back a corner of the swaddle to peek at this little person who replaced my role as the beloved child. But my mother slapped my hand away.

My family had longed for a son for many years, and finally, filling that void lifted their spirits to the skies.

My father took a swig of liquor, looked approvingly at my mother sprawled on the bed, and chirped, "You finally gave me a son; now I have a descendant."

His gaze was intensely fixed on my mother and the newborn, a look of tenderness and anticipation I had never seen before as if he finally had a home. A warm home with a wife and son.

I bowed my head and silently stepped out, looking up at the dark blue night sky while secretly wiping away tears.

Thinking of Amber, whose whereabouts were unknown, I quickly dried my tears.

Without the love of my father or mother, I must keep living well until the day I find Amber, for only then will we indeed be family to each other.

There was a free school in the village, but I had no chance to attend; I needed to work at home.

As my two aunts sent their sons off, they came specially to mock us when they noticed our house was still. "Nora, why isn't Angela in school? It's such a great opportunity that doesn't cost a dime."

My mother just smiled, "I just had a baby, there's no one else to do the chores around here; Angela needs to stay and help me."

Samantha sneered half-heartedly, "Oh please, everyone knows you traded your daughter for your son. What was it you said? A son and a daughter are the same; they're both your kids."

Melinda Lewis, my second uncle's wife, chimed in from the side. "Yeah, Nora, if they're all your kids, then selling Amber shouldn't mean Angela has to suffer."

They were only trying to upset my mom, but for the sake of her pride, she actually let me go to school.

I was grateful and cherished it deeply, even though my mother's glare could nearly slice me open whenever the doors were closed.

She even let me continue my studies until middle school exams. I thought that was the end of my education, but then, to my surprise, they asked if I wanted to go to high school.

"Angela, do you want to go to high school?"

I nodded vigorously. Yes, how could I not want to?

"The village chief next door told me his son just got out of jail. If you marry him, we'll get a wedding gift of fifty thousand."

My heart sank immediately upon hearing this.

"If you get into high school, I can ask for one hundred thousand from him, but you'll have to come up with the tuition yourself."

It was all just a scheme to sell me off, but it at least gave me a glimmer of hope.

The money I earned from tirelessly working from dawn to dusk, climbing mountains, and crossing rivers was nowhere near enough for tuition, let alone living expenses.

I counted the few banknotes hidden under my pillow night after night, my heart racing with anxiety.

Because I was trying to save up for school, I did less work at home, and my mother grew colder towards me.

She thought it was better to marry me off early and keep the money firmly in her hands.

"A girl's education is just a waste of money. You're lucky we feed you well. Marrying you off and using the money to support Henry is your duty!"

With that money, her son, Henry, could have meat to eat, new clothes to wear, and a school to attend.