Chapter 4

She was right, even when seeing her at that time, I could not help but notice the small changes in her.

Her style was different, a little more polished, a little more mature. And yet, my first thought was not about her—it was about me.

Would I have to imitate her new style at that time, too? It was exhausting, infuriating, but at that point, it felt like it was all I knew.

Ruby laughed again, snapping me out of my thoughts.

Since I did not react or try to take the wig back from her hand, she grumbled, “Ah, you’re still as boring as ever. No wonder Lewis said you’re not attractive at all.”

My chest tightened, but I refused to show any emotion.

“That’s why I wasn’t worried,” she continued, inspecting her perfectly manicured nails. “When our parents said you’d replace me temporarily, I knew there was nothing to fear. You’ll never be me, Rose.”

Her words were venomous, yet she delivered them with the ease of someone discussing the weather.

“What time does Lewis usually come home?” she asked suddenly, her voice taking on a casual tone, as if the weight of her earlier words had not left the room.

“It….” I began hesitantly.

But before I could finish, Ruby cut me off with a dismissive wave. “Oh, never mind. It’s no use asking you. I’d rather ask Lewis,” she said while throwing my wig to the ground and back to the sofa.

Her confidence radiating through the room, while I stood there in silence, quietly clenching my hands.

Every word, every action of hers reminded me that I was nothing more than a placeholder in my own life. Ruby was there to take it all back, and I did not know if I had the strength to stop her.

Suddenly, Ruby’s wide smile grew as she glanced at her phone screen. “He’ll be home soon,” she said, her tone full of excitement.

Before I could react, my eyes followed hers, landing on Lewis’s figure walking through the front door.

“Oh, my love, you’re really back,” Ruby called out, her voice sweet and affectionate.

And just like that, Lewis’s gaze softened in a way I had never seen before. He immediately strode toward her, a warm smile on his face.

My love?

The words echoed in my head, making my stomach churn. I fought the urge to throw up as I watched their interaction.

Ruby rose to her feet, meeting him halfway. Like reunited lovers, they embraced intimately, their closeness exuding a warmth I had never been allowed to feel.

I had been married to Lewis for two years, and yet, not once had he ever hugged me like that.

I stared at them, my chest tightening with suppressed anger. I could no longer bear to watch the nauseating display of affection and ready to leave the living room.

Before I could take a step, Ruby’s voice pierced through the air, loud and accusatory. “Lewis, I was so scared you wouldn’t come home in time.

“As soon as Rose saw me here, she went completely berserk. She even yanked off her wig because she couldn’t handle that I dyed my hair ginger.”

Her dramatic words left me frozen in place, my fists clenched at my sides. My gaze fell to the floor, where my wig lay—a detail Ruby had obviously used as her proof.

Lewis turned to me, his face dark with anger.

“What’s the meaning of this tantrum, Rose?” he scolded, his voice sharp and cutting. “Ruby has every right to do what she wants. It’s your job to imitate her, like you’ve done all this time.”

I felt the blood drain from my face, but I did not respond. I was too tired and drained to argue with him. Instead, I turned on my heel, ready to walk away.

But before I could leave, Lewis grabbed my wrist, his grip firm and commanding.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he barked. “Prepare a grand feast to celebrate your sister’s return. I’ve already sent the menu. Tell the maids and help them. I want everything ready before six.”

His words were orders, not requests, and his cold tone only added to the ache in my chest, while Ruby smirked behind him.

I wanted to say something, to push back, but before I could, Lewis turned to Ruby with a warmth that felt like a slap in the face.

His voice softened, his expression filled with gentle concern. “Let’s pack your suitcase and get you settled. You must be tired after such a long journey.” He smiled at her and added, “Oh, and I bought you the Ruby jewelry set you wanted.”

Ruby’s face lit up with delight as she leaned in to kiss Lewis on the cheek. “Oh, thank you so much. You’re truly my one and only love,” she gushed, her voice dripping with sweetness.

Lewis’s expression softened further at her words, and without sparing me another glance, he picked up her suitcase and led her upstairs.

Left alone in the living room, I swallowed the bitter lump in my throat.

My hands trembled as I unlocked my phone to check the menu Lewis had sent.

My stomach sank as I scrolled through the list—chicken, beef, seafood, an endless array of dishes that looked more like a royal banquet than a simple welcome meal.

It was as if he wanted to give the entire world to Ruby.

As I wanted to curse more, to scream, I directly placed a hand on my stomach and whispered inwardly, “It’s not good for the baby to hear that, so calm down, Rose.”

With a deep breath, I swallowed my anger and made my way to the kitchen.

Sweat soon dotted my forehead as I worked alongside the maids, chopping, stirring, and grilling.

The heat from the stove and the overwhelming smells of the ingredients made me dizzy, forcing me to excuse myself to the bathroom several times.

The pregnancy had heightened my sensitivity, and certain odors triggered intense waves of nausea.

But as the clock ticked closer to five, I gritted my teeth and pushed through the discomfort. Only half of the dishes were done, and there was no time to rest.

The maid assisting me noticed my condition and spoke softly, “Madam, please rest. You don’t look well. We’ll take care of the rest.”

I shook my head, wiping the sweat from my brow.

“It’s fine. I can handle it,” I replied, my voice steady despite the exhaustion. I knew better than to refuse Lewis’s orders.

The consequences of disobedience were far too dire.

Chapter 5

If I dared to resist, Lewis would not hesitate to remind me of my past sacrifice—the kidney I had donated to him when he was twenty.

I still remembered the day vividly.

Lewis had been on the brink of death, his kidneys failing, and the entire family had scrambled to find a suitable donor.

Out of everyone, I, who was only a seventeen girl at that moment, had been the only match.

After endless tests and procedures, I was deemed fit to donate, and my parents did not hesitate for a moment.

They signed the consent forms with joy, forcing me to go through the operation without a second thought.

Even after we were married, Lewis exploited my sacrifice. I would never forget the first time he used it as a weapon against me.

It had been during the early days of our marriage, when his mother discovered we were sleeping in separate rooms.

Furious, she confronted Lewis about it, and later that night, he cornered me in his study, his eyes blazing with anger.

“You’d better talk nicely to my parents and fix this mess,” he hissed. “If you dare disobey me, don’t forget—I can still take your last kidney. Remember this, Rose.”

The memory sent a shiver down my spine, but I shook it off, focusing on the task at hand. My baby deserved better, and I would do whatever it took to protect them.

Even if it meant enduring this torment a little longer.

**

After all the dishes were finally prepared, I wiped the sweat from my forehead and stepped back, watching as the maid arranged everything neatly on the dining table.

My legs ached, my head throbbed, and my stomach churned from the nausea that had plagued me throughout the day.

Then I heard them—their laughter echoing down the staircase. Lewis and Ruby descended together, chatting like a happy couple in their own private world.

They entered the dining room, their voices light and carefree, as if they were the owners of the villa and I was nothing more than a hired maid.

When Ruby laid her eyes on the spread of dishes, her face lit up in mock surprise. “Oh my God, Lewis, you really made all the menus I asked for! You’re amazing.”

Lewis beamed at her praise, his hand resting possessively on her waist. “Of course. Seeing how light your body is, I thought I should try harder to make sure you get all the nutrition you need,” he replied smoothly.

Ruby giggled, leaning closer to him. “You know, Lewis, all my fat gathers in my cheeks. So don’t misunderstand when you look at my body.”

Lewis chuckled, gently pinching her cheek. “No wonder you have such adorable, chubby cheeks. I’d love to pinch them every day.”

Their sweet interaction was like a knife twisting in my chest.

For two years, I had hoped to see that side of Lewis—the affectionate, tender man he was capable of being.

But then I realized it was not that he could not be sweet; it was simply that he did not want to be that way with me.

Lewis then pulled out a chair for Ruby, his movements smooth and gentlemanly, like the perfect partner. “Let’s sit and enjoy our dinner,” he said with a smile.

Ruby nodded and sat down gracefully.

Then, her gaze swept across the room, and when she noticed me standing silently near the maid, she called out with a syrupy voice, “Oh, sister, come join us! Sit here beside me.”

She gestured to the chair next to her, her tone exuding fake kindness.

Lewis, who had just taken his seat, glanced at me with indifference. “Sit down already so we can eat,” he muttered lazily, as if my mere presence was a formality he had to endure.

Suppressing a sigh, I walked over and sat beside Ruby. But the food on my plate, which I had painstakingly prepared, did not tempt me in the slightest.

The sight and smell of it made my stomach churn, though I forced myself to keep my nausea at bay.

As we began eating in an awkward silence, Ruby suddenly decided to include me in the conversation.

“Oh, by the way,” she began with a smile, her tone falsely cheerful, “thank you for taking care of Lewis for the past two years, sister.”

She then turned to Lewis, her expression softening. “And you, Lewis, thank you for keeping your promise to wait for me all this time. I always knew your love was genuine, even back then.”

Her words struck me like a thunderclap, but before I could process them, Ruby continued with a playful pout. “I do worry sometimes, you know. I was overthinking that maybe you two might have… you know… had slept together behind my back.”

The room went silent for a moment, save for the clinking of silverware.

Lewis immediately broke the tension, taking Ruby’s hand in his and squeezing it gently.

“It would never happen, Ruby,” he said firmly. “I never even touched your sister for a second. I only love you.”

I stared at him, my lips curling into a bitter smirk. My chest tightened as I struggled to suppress the hurt and anger bubbling inside me.

Never touched me? So, what was that night? Was it just a drunken accident that he chose to ignore because it did not count in his twisted mind?

“I trust you, Lewis. I’ve seen the proof that you two slept separately all this time. That’s why I’m so grateful,” Ruby said, her gaze soft and full of affection as she looked at Lewis.

He mirrored her expression, his face glowing with the kind of love and devotion I had never received from him.

It was too much. My chest tightened, my stomach churned violently, and I could no longer suppress the overwhelming nausea.

Abruptly, I stood, the chair scraping harshly against the floor, the sound reverberating through the tense room.

But before I could escape, Ruby grabbed my wrist, stopping me in my tracks.

“Where are you going?” she asked in a tone laced with syrupy concern. Yet her expression betrayed her—her eyes burned with anger, her lips pressed into a thin, venomous line.

The sharp rise of stomach acid clawed at my throat, and I could not hold it back any longer.

Without warning, I bent over and vomited everything onto the dining table, the bile and remnants of my last meal splattering across the dishes I had spent hours preparing.

A shocked silence fell over the room for a brief moment before Ruby’s piercing scream shattered it.

“How rude!” she shrieked, recoiling in disgust as she pushed her chair back, her face twisted in horror.

Chapter 6

I wiped my mouth with trembling hands, tears brimming in my eyes from both the physical discomfort and the sheer humiliation.

My legs wobbled beneath me, barely supporting my weight as the full weight of the situation pressed down on me like a crushing wave.

The dinner I had poured my heart into, the one I had spent hours preparing, was ruined.

But the devastation of my effort being wasted was not the worst part—it was the realization that no one cared about why. No one cared about me.

After pulling Ruby away, Lewis’s cold voice cut through the silence like a knife. “How dare you ruin our welcome dinner,” he snapped, his gaze filled with disdain.

Before I could utter a word, Ruby chimed in, her voice sweetly apologetic but laced with venom.

“Oh, I just remembered, Rose doesn’t like seafood. How could I forget that?” She turned to Lewis with a faux look of regret. “She must’ve thrown up because of the smell of the seafood I ate. I really like it, though.”

As if on cue, Lewis immediately softened toward her. He wrapped his arms around Ruby protectively, his voice full of warmth.

“That’s okay, Ruby. You can eat as much seafood as you want. No need to feel guilty. Let’s just go out for dinner instead, if that’s what you want.”

Ruby smiled, leaning into him as though I wasn’t even there. “It’s okay, Lewis. We don’t have to. I can eat tomorrow morning. I’ll just rest tonight.”

Lewis’s voice was gentle and adoring as he replied, “Okay, everything for you, my love.”

Tears blurred my vision as I watched them leave the dining room, their voices fading into the distance as they discussed plans for the next day. Neither of them looked back.

The maid, ever so kind, quietly stepped in and began cleaning the mess I had made.

She turned to me with a soft smile and said, “It’s okay, Madam. You’ve seemed unwell since this morning. It’s better for you to take some rest now.”

Tears streamed freely down my cheeks as I nodded weakly, my voice cracking as I whispered, “I’m sorry to bother you.”

Then I dragged my exhausted body upstairs. I wanted nothing more than to collapse onto my bed and shut the world out.

But as I passed Lewis’s room, a glimpse through the small gap in the door stopped me dead in my tracks.

Through the partially open door, I saw Lewis and Ruby entwined in each other’s arms. They were making love passionately, their bodies moving together with a kind of intimacy and devotion I had never experienced with Lewis.

A lump formed in my throat as I gripped the door frame for support, my legs threatening to give out beneath me.

Just a month ago, Lewis had done the same to me. But that time, he had been drunk, his words slurred, his movements aggressive and thoughtless. I had been nothing more than an outlet for his intoxicated state.

But with Ruby, he was sober, fully present, and entirely devoted to her.

Suddenly, I noticed Ruby gazing toward me. She was aware about my presence outside the door.

Her cunning smile stretched wider as her eyes locked onto mine, stabbing straight into my chest with cruel precision. It was the kind of smile that did not need words to say.

“Oh, Lewis, I’m sorry to make you wait for two years,” she moaned, her voice dripping with feigned regret.

Lewis kissed her nape, his hands possessively around her waist. “That’s fine,” he murmured against her skin. “We can do it every day now. That’s enough for me.”

Ruby let out a soft laugh, her voice teasing yet triumphant. “Sure, you can love me 24/7 if you want from now on.”

Her gaze remained fixed on me through the crack in the door, as if to drive the point deeper. I could see the gleam of victory in her eyes, the way she silently declared her dominance over my life.

I had spent two years sacrificing, imitating, becoming her shadow—yet it was all for nothing. Ruby had reclaimed everything effortlessly, like I had never existed.

I staggered back, biting my trembling lip to stifle the cry threatening to escape and retreated to my room.

My legs barely held me up as I locked the door behind me. My breaths came in short, uneven gasps as the walls closed in around me.

However, that night offered no comfort. My tears fell endlessly, soaking the pillow beneath my head. My ears, they even still could hear Lewis and Ruby’s moaning all night, which made my heart shattered into pieces.

As if not enough, in the morning, Ruby’s voice called out, sickly sweet as she knocked my door, “Rose, you must’ve been disturbed by our voices last night. I’m sorry.”

Her fake apology felt like a slap in the face. My tears, still fresh from the night before, spilled over as anger surged within me.

“Are you satisfied with showing off?” I snapped, unable to hold back my fury as I opened the door.

Ruby’s expression shifted to shock, but only for a moment. She quickly recovered, jabbing her finger into my chest with arrogance.

“Are you angry now?” she sneered. “Realize this, Rose. Lewis is my husband—he always has been. It’s my name on the marriage certificate, so you have no right to be angry.”

Her words cut deep, but what came next shattered me.

“Rose Gilmore disappeared from the earth—she’s dead,” Ruby said coldly, her tone filled with triumph as she brought up the painful truth I had tried to bury.

She was right. Rose Gilmore, that name had been dead for two years, buried along with its owner.

After Ruby’s accident, my parents faked the story, declaring that the one who was involved in an accident was me. They spread the lie that I did not survive after days of being treated in the hospital.

While the fact showed it was Ruby who was speeding recklessly down the toll road, lost control of her car and got into a severe accident.

Even if she had survived, the crash left her with a traumatic brain injury that caused her to lose her hearing.

The wedding, which had been arranged by our parents to merge the Gilmore and Clifton families, could not be postponed. So, in Ruby’s place, I had been chosen as her replacement.

The decision was made without my consent. My parents saw it as an opportunity for me to fulfill Ruby’s obligations, as I had always done.

While Ruby went to San Jose to undergo treatment, leaving me to live her life, marry her fiancé, and assume the role she had abandoned.

It was as if my existence had been wiped away, erased without hesitation.

I begged them to stop, pleading for the right to make my own choices. But they ignored my cries, shutting down my voice with cold indifference.

“You should be grateful that Lewis is willing to marry you, even if it’s just for a while,” they said, their voices devoid of empathy.

“From now on, forget that you are Rose. You are Ruby, the daughter of the Gilmore family who married the son of the Clifton family. Do you understand?”

So, my life had never been mine anymore since that day.

What made it cut the deepest was that Lewis knew the truth. He followed the lies my parents made and tortured me if I did not obey his order.

“So, Rose, be thankful that you are still alive until this moment,” Ruby continued.

The words stung like a whip, and before I could stop myself, my hand flew up and slapped her across the face.

"You bitch! Who gave you the courage to keep provoking me?"

My sharp eyes fell on her, and I raised my hand again and slapped her on the other side of her face!

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Leaving My Husband Behind: My Freedom, His Loss

Chapter 4
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