The apathy

As I lay there, naked, with his marks all over my body and a lingering warmth from our intimate encounter, I couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment. However, that blissful state quickly shatters when I hear him say those cold, detached words.

Confusion and a growing unease settle within me, like a dark cloud looming over our shared intimacy.

I search his eyes, hoping to find a trace of the love and tenderness that have just enveloped us. But what I find instead is an icy distance, a void that sends a chill down my spine.

His words seem to cut through the air like shards of glass, slicing through the fragile bubble of hope that has momentarily surrounded us.

"I want a divorce." His voice rings out, devoid of any emotion.

The impact of his words hit me like a physical blow, stealing the breath from my lungs. My mind races, trying to comprehend what I have just heard.

Why is he saying this? Was it something I had done wrong? Did I fail to please him just now?

At that moment, I cling to the belief that his sudden coldness stems from my perceived failure to please him. The marks he left on my body now feel like cruel reminders of my inadequacy.

I wanted to explain to him that my performance had been affected by the pregnancy and that it wasn't a reflection of my love or desire for him. But before the words could escape my trembling lips, he silenced me with a dismissive wave.

His next revelation hits me like a thunderbolt.

"Megan has returned," he says.

The name Megan starts to echo in my ears, a haunting melody that shatters the remnants of my torn heart.

The ex-girlfriend he has carried within him, the lingering attachment that has always sparked my fears, has finally returned to reclaim him.

Shock and disbelief wash over me in waves. The weight of betrayal and heartache bore down upon my chest, making it difficult to breathe.

How could he discard the bond we had shared, so callously?

"And don’t forget about the terms in the contract," he reminds me. "It clearly states that we can end this marriage after a year if we don’t develop feelings for each other. You failed to win my heart, Vivian."

His mention of the contract twists the knife deeper into my heart.

I hoped, against all odds, that our love would transcend those constraints. But now, he declares the end of our marriage with harsh words, stating that I failed to make him fall for me within the stipulated time.

This is too cruel.

He turns around and continues, "So, I am ending this meaningless marriage and starting over with Megan. I will send the divorce agreement. Read it carefully before signing it."

Tears well up in my eyes, blurring my vision as I struggle to make sense of his words. The dreams I have cherished and the hopes I have clung to now lie in ruins around me.

The mention of Megan intensifies the ache, cruelly reminding me that I can never fill the void she left behind. I can never replace her in his heart. Even though I know this reality, a storm of emotions rages within me.

I felt the tenderness and affection emanating from him just moments ago, intertwined in our intimate connection. Were those feelings merely an illusion? Had I been blind to the truth, deceiving myself with false hopes?

Questions swirl in my mind, demanding answers that will never fully satisfy the ache in my heart. I yearn to confront him.

But before I could gather the strength to voice my doubts, his phone intruded upon our fragile moment.

I can see how his eyes sparkle when he looks at the phone.

He quickly answers the call. "Megan… Hey, what’s up?"

Megan, the name that shattered my dreams, called him at this hour.

I want to scream, ‘Why?’

His conversation with her unfolds before my ears, each word laced with gentleness and sweetness I never witnessed when he spoke to me. The contrast cuts deeper than any blade, a visceral reminder that I can never match her.

Pain surges within me, threatening to overflow as I realize that asking him any question will be futile. He will never understand my feelings.

The love I poured into this marriage, the hopes I nurtured, had all been in vain.

My heart aches, not only from the rejection but also from the realization that I lost the battle for his affection.

As I blink my tears away, I make a decision. I can't bear the thought of enduring further heartache and clinging to a love that has proven itself unattainable.

"Okay, okay… I am coming. Now calm down. Yes, yes. I will be right there."

He ends the call and slips the phone into his pocket, moving his gaze toward me.

"I am going to see Megan. Take your time to think. I hope you will understand the situation and agree with me."

With a heavy heart, I muster a smile. "What is there to think? We already know the terms. I am ready to end this marriage."

Suppressing my tears, I roll out of bed and put on my clothes one by one, slowly. My hands are shaking, but I try to act normally.

"You start your life with Megan, and I will also start anew. We will be happy in our lives."

It is a bittersweet acknowledgment that I fought my battles and lost. At that moment, I allow a glimmer of self-love to emerge, promising myself that I deserve more than a love that can't be fully reciprocated.

The pain lingers in my heart, an ache that will take time to heal. But I smile at him as I turn around and face him. I can see the surprise on his face.

Why will he be surprised?

Maybe I am still hoping that he will reconsider ending this marriage. Perhaps, I still want to hear him say that he likes me and that he wants to continue this marriage. But I know it is only my imagination.

He has already said that he is going to reconcile with his ex-girlfriend. Why will he say he likes me?

I continue to smile, though it feels hollow and fragile, as I affirm my decision.

His expression twists into a mask of anger. The reasons behind his sudden fury elude me, adding another layer of bewilderment to an already tumultuous situation.

"Are you sure?" he asks. "I mean… you don't have to respond right away. Take your time to think, and… then let me know whatever your decision is."

"I have already decided," I say, knowing he will not change his decision even if I ask him to forget about Megan and stay with me. So, there is no use in wasting time.

"I wish you a successful and happy life with Megan." I offer him a smile.

"I see…"

A dry, bitter laugh escapes his lips, further stinging my wounded heart. Without a word, he storms out of the room and forcefully closes the door behind him, the echo reverberating through the empty space.

The silence envelops me soon. Tears erupt, flowing freely down my cheeks. The ache in my heart feels unbearable.

My hand finds its way to my belly, cradling the precious life growing within.

"I am sorry, baby," I whisper to my unborn child, for the decisions I made in the midst of this chaos.

Although I know it is a bit selfish, I have decided to keep my pregnancy from George. With his power and influence, he will take my child away from him as soon as he learns about it. I have already lost him, but I can’t lose my baby.

It was a choice tinged with a touch of self-preservation, a desperate attempt to safeguard the only part of him.

In this silence, I let the tears flow freely, releasing the pent-up emotions. The path ahead of me is filled with uncertainty, but I’ll navigate it with a fierce determination to love my child with my all heart. I will not let anyone take my baby away.

The confusion

George’s POV…

Vivian’s response annoys me. I cannot believe that she readily agrees to end this marriage. She didn’t ask me a question. She didn’t even cry.

"Ugh…" I slam my fist on the steering wheel. "Why am I thinking about her? It’s good she agrees to the divorce readily."

As I continue driving, I cannot stop recalling the time we have shared over the year.

Our marriage indeed held its share of beautiful moments. Vivian had been a devoted wife, tending to my needs both inside and outside the bedroom. If it weren't for Megan's sudden return, I might have considered continuing this contract for another year.

But Vivian's rapid acceptance of the divorce catches me off guard. Instead of the expected sadness or a hint of hesitation, her readiness to part ways seems almost eager. It is as if she has been counting down the days, waiting for me to bring up the topic so she can swiftly sign the papers. The thought gnaws at me, igniting a spark of frustration within.

The scene of our intimate moments still lingers in the back of my mind. Those moments are hot, and I remember her enjoying my company.

Why did she moan so loudly if she was eager to distance herself from me? How could she enjoy my touch? How could she revel in the pleasure of our physical connection?

It seems contradictory, leaving me puzzled and disenchanted.

I suddenly remember why she agreed to this contract marriage. Vivian confided in me at the time about her crush on someone, who didn’t want her, and her desire to use this marriage as a means to move on and forget that man.

I can't help but wonder if that man still holds space in her heart and if she has merely seen me as a tool to escape her unrequited love.

Despite my own initiation of the contract marriage and my subsequent request for its termination, a simmering annoyance takes hold of me.

How could she readily agree to move on? Am I simply a stepping stone on her path to finding the love she truly desires?

The weight of this realization bore down on me, casting shadows of doubt and resentment.

"I don’t care," I mutter. "She is free to date anyone she likes. It makes no difference to me. I am going to have a better life than her with Megan."

If Vivian has already set her sights on a future without me, then I have no reason to carry the burden of guilt. I am entitled to pursue my own happiness, unshackled by the weight of a marriage that has seemingly lost its purpose.

With a determined resolve, I propel my car forward, the engine roaring in tandem with my racing thoughts.

Megan's place beckons, promising a familiar solace that I have long yearned for. The allure of rekindling the flame with her intensifies, fueling my desire to leave behind the complexities of this crumbling marriage and embrace the familiarity of what once was.

I finally arrived at Megan’s apartment. I press the doorbell.

After some time, Megan opens the door. She looks sexy, draped in nothing but a towel. A sense of familiarity mixed with desire engulfs me. She flashes an alluring smile. Her eyes, filled with a mix of longing and regret, meet mine.

"George…" She envelops me in an embrace. "I've missed you. I apologize for calling you here at such a late hour, all while knowing the presence of your legal wife waiting at home."

Her face falls as she pulls back and looks at me. "You are not angry with me, are you?" She bites her bottom lip.

As soon as she mentioned my wife, Vivian's swift agreement to the divorce echoed in my mind, intensifying my annoyance and stirring a flicker of defiance within me.

"Megan, I... I've missed you too."

Seeking solace in this reunion, I press my lips against hers with fervor, a desperate attempt to convince myself that I no longer care for Vivian.

She responds with equal fervor, her kisses mirroring her unrestrained desire. Yet, despite Megan's bold attempts to seduce me, I can't help but notice the absence of the same fiery passion that ignited within me when I kissed Vivian.

Something is amiss, and I don’t know what it is. I don’t know why I don’t feel the same fire with the woman I love. I even don’t know why I am still thinking about Vivian, my contract wife, at this moment when I am with Megan, the love of my life.

How can this be possible?

I stop kissing and pass my fingers through my hair, not able to look into her eyes.

Megan holds my shoulders and asks, "What happened? Why did you stop?"

I can clearly hear the disappointment in her tone.

"Are you not feeling well?" She stretches her hand and puts it on my forehead.

"I am okay, Megan," I say, pushing her hand away gently and walking aside. "I… it’s late, and I am tired."

"I know. I shouldn’t have bothered you so late at night." She sighs and comes in closer, taking my hands in hers. "But I couldn’t wait to see you." Her eyes are watery. "I love you, George. I love you so much." She hugs me as she confesses her feelings for me.

I instinctively wrap my arms around her.

"I'm sorry for leaving you a year ago," she murmurs. "I was foolish and selfish, choosing my career over us. I let you marry another woman to fulfill your sick grandmother's wish."

Her words tug at a chord in my heart, stirring a mix of emotions within me. As I gaze into her eyes, a part of me wants to surrender to the allure of starting anew and embracing a future with Megan. Yet, the lingering question remains: Why can’t I forget about Vivian? What is happening to me?

Megan's gaze pleads with me, her eyes shimmering with unspoken desire. "Is it too late, George? Have you fallen for Vivian? Please tell me there is still a chance for us. Marry me if you haven't fallen in love with Vivian."

Caught in the midst of conflicting emotions, my mind races to find clarity. I can't deny the connection I once shared with Megan, yet I am unsure of how to respond.

Why did Vivian’s face appear in front of my eyes?

The divorce agreement

"George, please. Give us another chance. I regret what I've done, and I'm willing to make it right. I love you." Megan tightens her grip on my hands, urging me to answer.

I keep looking into her eyes, speechless. Maybe I am searching for answers in the depths of her gaze.

"Say something," she urges.

"Megan, you are thinking too much." I finally find my voice. I can’t believe that I am avoiding answering her. "It’s late. We will talk later. I will first go check the lights you asked me to check."

I walk away, feeling her gaze on me.

Megan grabs my wrist, pulls me over, and makes me turn around and face her. Her disappointment radiates from her eyes, penetrating my heart. I want to console her and alleviate the pain I have unintentionally caused.

As she wraps her arms around me in a tight embrace, her words spill forth.

"I know I made mistakes in the past," she says, "and caused you distress. I shouldn’t have left you. I agree that I was selfish… a moron who failed to cherish the love. What a heartless person I have become to hurt you, and I hate myself for that. Sorry, George. Please forgive me."

The resentment in her tone is palpable.

I cannot understand if she is angry with herself or with me… Maybe with Vivian. I don’t know. It’s confusing.

"Megan, please... don't blame yourself," I murmur. "We both made mistakes. I should have waited for you instead of surrendering to Grandma’s pressure."

"But you made the decision to marry Vivian back then because I left you," she sobs. "It’s my mistake. So, it is only me to blame."

Her arms remain wrapped around me, a silent plea for forgiveness and understanding.

"I am back now, and I want to rectify the mistakes I made. I will do my best to win your heart and make you fall in love with me all over again. Please don’t give up on me."

Listening to her heartfelt words, I can't deny the depth of her love for me. I am moved. Yet, I can't help but notice the absence of that familiar spark that used to ignite within me in her presence, even though she holds me so closely, her half-naked form pressing against me. It perplexes me, leaving me questioning my own emotions and desires.

I desperately want to understand why my heart doesn't respond to her the way it once did. Is it the passage of time, the experiences I have shared with Vivian, or something else that has shifted entirely within me?

I stand there with Megan clinging to me, my mind yearning for clarity.

"Megan, I appreciate your sincerity and your unwavering love," I confess, my voice tinged with a mix of gratitude and uncertainty. "Stop apologizing now. We are good. Now show me the light that is not working."

I avoid answering her once again.

She loosens her grip slightly, her eyes searching mine for answers.

I muster a smile.

"Do you want me to fix the light or not?" I ask again, pretending not to know what she is yearning for.

"Come with me." She sighs and leads me to her bedroom. When we enter the bedroom, she points at the bedside lamp. "It was not working."

"Okay. Let me check first." I check it and find that the bulb is not working. "The bulb needs to be changed. Do you have an extra bulb?"

"Can you check in the cabinet in the hall?" she asks as she walks into the closet.

I walk out to the hall and find a new bulb in the cabinet. When I come back into the bedroom, I see her wearing a baggy white T-shirt.

She is not wearing any bottoms other than her panties. Her erect nipples are visible since she was without her bra. Even though she looks like a seductress, I find my desire missing, which is surprising.

I don’t know. Maybe I am too tired. I just want to finish the work here and leave.

I fix the bulb, and the lamp returns to its illuminating glory.

"It’s done."

I turn to her and meet her eyes, which are burning with unspoken desire.

"It’s late now. I should leave."

"What is the hurry? The night is still young. Sit and talk to me for a while." She holds my hands, looking at me nostalgically. "We are meeting after a year. Let me cherish these moments."

Her longing to open her heart to me and reveal the depths of her feelings is too obvious to ignore. But the hour is late, and my excuses spilled forth, attempting to shield myself from the emotional complexities.

"Megan, you should rest. We can talk later."

"Have some drinks with me," she urges, "and we will relish the memories we shared in the past."

"I’d love to. But it’s late now. I have an early morning meeting to attend." I lie to escape.

"Then rest here," she says adamantly.

I chuckle. "Another time. You need rest. Sleep."

I can see the disappointment in her eyes as she nods and allows me to leave.

"Good night."

I can't ignore the pang of regret that tugs at my heartstrings as I walk out of her house. Megan deserves to be happy.

I could have stayed with her in her warm embrace, relishing our past, but I chose to leave. I don’t want to face Vivian either. So, I drive to the office.

The next day…

My mind is a whirlwind of frustration and confusion as I sit at my desk amid mountains of paperwork. I can't focus on anything. Each task feels like an insurmountable challenge, and my irritation grows with every minor issue.

I employed a bunch of fools. They don’t even know how to resolve a simple issue.

"Humph…" I still forced myself to check some files.

Just as the workday is nearing its end, there is an unexpected knock on my office door. The interruption makes me frown.

"Come in…"

A middle-aged man enters.

My frown deepens as I continue to look at him. Who is he?

"Mr. Stanley, I am Vivian Simons’ lawyer."

He hands me a stack of papers.

The divorce agreement.

My annoyance turns to fury when I read those words.

I clench my fists tightly. How dare she send me a divorce agreement?

It is my decision, my prerogative to end this marriage whenever I deem fit. I want to tear the documents to shreds and throw them into the trash can.

Since I cannot do this, I look up to say something, but he is gone.

"What? Ugh…"

I shove the documents into the drawer and leave the office.

When I reach home, I see Vivian's suitcase tucked away in the corner of the hall. It intensifies my already mounting annoyance.

I don’t know why I feel that my entire world is crumbling around me. I can’t think of Vivian going away from me. But why?

I don’t love her. It's Megan, whom I always love.

My thoughts are a tangled mess of anger, confusion, and a deep-rooted sense of loss. I wanted to end this marriage. Shouldn’t I be happy? I can't comprehend why I feel this restlessness.

"I have to figure it out," I mutter, taking out a bottle of wine from the fridge.

I sit at the table and pour myself a drink. The once cheerful house is silent now, and this silence is only adding to my inner turmoil.

She used to welcome me whenever I returned home from the office. But tonight, she didn’t come out.

Does she even know that I am home?

My frustration grows, and I cannot sit quietly any longer. I storm into the bedroom, determined to question her.

"She dares to send me the divorce papers," I mutter. "I will show her who is the boss here."

I come to a halt as I see Vivian sleeping blissfully in her pink satin nightgown, her beautiful features glowing beneath the warm light of the nightstand.

I can't deny the allure she exudes; the curve of her body is tempting me. I cannot stop watching her.

She looks attractive.

When my eyes land on the marks I left on her neck last night, I can no longer control my desires. I lean in and press my lips against her skin, relishing the taste and the warmth it ignites within me.

Hormones surge into my veins.

I lie beside her and take her into my arms, kissing her lips fervently.

Vivian stirs, her eyes fluttering open, confusion and resistance evident in her expression. But I can't restrain my own growing intensity.

"George… mm…"

I kiss her even harder, hugging her tightly.

"Stop, George. We can't do this." She tries to push me away.

"Why?" I growl, irritated.

"We are getting a divorce, remember?" she reminds me, still struggling to break free.

Her words irritate me even more.

I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know why I want her so much. My brain is not in a state to think straight. All I want at this moment is Vivian.

I want to see her surrender to me.

I smirk and say, "Well, I haven’t signed it yet. You are still my wife, and you have obligations to satisfy your husband."

I smack my lips against hers, this time more fiercely.