2: 2

2

Outside the theater, Samuel came back from buying tickets with two drinks.

It was the second day of my period, and I reached for the hot drink, but he handed it to Hope first.

My hand hung there in midair before I could pull it back, and the cold that touched it sent a sharp ache through my lower belly.

Seeing my face still cold, Samuel leaned in close to my ear, his voice dropped very low.

"Didn't you always used to nag me to take you to the movies? Now that I'm here, who's this sour face for?"

Then he grabbed my wrist and dragged me straight into the screening room.

"Hope, sit here. You're on your period, you feel the cold. The VIP seat comes with heating. This one's perfect for you."

He eased Hope carefully into the seat.

"Samuel, I think Renee's on her period too."

Hope offered the reminder with pretend sweetness.

Samuel gave a scoff, not even lifting his eyelids.

"There's only one VIP seat left. Besides, she runs hot, tough as a man. She doesn't get all these delicate little problems."

The cramping in my belly rose up together with the cold in my chest.

All I felt was a deep helplessness, and I moved quietly to an ordinary seat off to the side.

Only when I could see what was playing did I realize it was a horror film.

Eight years together, and Samuel knew perfectly well I had a history of heart trouble, that I couldn't take the slightest scare.

I was about to demand an answer when my eyes landed on Hope, her whole face full of anticipation, and in that instant I understood everything.

Back then I'd combed through reviews, worked out a whole plan of films across every genre to see with him.

But every time, he couldn't last five minutes before making some excuse and rushing out, and I could only follow him out in silence.

The ticket stubs piled up, and yet I couldn't tell the full plot of a single one.

At the time I stupidly thought he just wasn't the type who liked movies. Turned out he only didn't like watching them with me.

When the film started, I hardly dared open my eyes.

But the dread and dead weight pressing in around me got to me anyway, and my heart throbbed in wave after wave of pain.

I could breathe less and less, clutching my chest, my body swaying like it might go down, when a man's strong hand caught me just in time.

Something in me eased a little. I thought that in the end he did care about me after all.

But the next second, he turned his body to block me and lowered his voice to snap.

"If you're going to have an attack, do it somewhere else. Hope's easily frightened, don't scare her!"

With trembling hands I pushed my heart pills into my mouth and fled toward the exit.

On the way back, my mom called.

"Renee, how have you been lately? It's been so long since you called me."

My face had been calm, but the moment I heard her voice, I couldn't hold it together.

"You've been frail since you were little. Back then I lined up such a good job for you in Harbor City, close to home so someone could look after you, and you wouldn't take it. You just had to go off to that little town with that boy."

"All these years, and still nothing to show for it. Another year almost gone, look at it, what kind of situation is this…"

The first time I saw Samuel, he was standing on the stage as the freshman representative giving a speech.

His features were clean and handsome, his nose straight, and when he looked up at us in the audience, his gaze was gentle and sure.

I fell for him at first sight and chased him for two whole years.

Fetching hot water, picking up his packages and his takeout, never missing a thing, circling him every day like a little tagalong.

After graduation, I didn't want that relationship to just fizzle out, so I followed him without a second thought a thousand miles away to Frostpine City.

My heart was full of hope. I thought we'd get married soon.

When we first joined the company, Samuel said he was afraid of people talking and it hurting his prospects. He wouldn't even make our relationship public.

I wasn't happy about it, but because I loved him, I gave in.

It wasn't until a coworker started trying to set me up with someone that he finally couldn't sit still and rushed to stake his claim.

I wanted to get married. Samuel had always known that.

But no matter how many times I brought it up, he'd say to wait a little longer.

Wait until he got promoted and got a raise. Wait until he saved up the down payment.

That waiting stretched out into six years.

I was done waiting.

I steadied myself and said, "Mom, there's a project team being posted to Harbor City. My boss recommended me for it, and I agreed. I'll be back as soon as the Spring Festival break starts, and then I can be with you every day from now on."

Mom was so thrilled she nearly shrieked, checking with me three times in a row.

Only after she got a solid yes did she remember to ask, "What about Samuel? What are the two of you going to do?"

I said with a bitter smile, "I didn't tell him."

The other end of the line went quiet for a few seconds.

"As long as you're coming home. As long as you're coming home."

"That Samuel, he's not bad-looking, but what else about him is good enough for our Renee?"

I'd barely hung up when a text alert chimed.

3: 3

3

“Renee, we came to that movie for you, and you just walk out? Now Hope's worried sick and blaming herself. Tomorrow you apologize to her, properly.”

I didn't answer a word. I just turned the phone face-down on the table.

Samuel didn't get home until late. He held out a box to me, almost coaxing.

“That cake shop you always wanted to try. I stood in line two hours just to get it for you.”

Bringing me something to eat after a fight was one of his rare gestures.

And I always took the way out he offered, and stopped pushing.

That shop did everything to order. I'd mentioned it to Samuel for more than a year.

Every time he'd said it was manufactured hype, that wasting that much time in line for one lousy cake wasn't worth it.

Inside the box the cream had melted completely, sunk into a sticky mess, and my appetite vanished on the spot.

But after wanting it for over a year, I still took one small bite.

I opened my phone, and Hope's social media had just updated.

The photo was that same cake the way it was supposed to look, and you could clearly see the bite she'd taken out of it.

Caption: Life is as sweet as cake, what a shame my stomach's so small.

My stomach turned over.

“You've had the cake now, so tomorrow you apologize to Hope, properly!”

My face stayed calm, nothing showing on it at all.

So it turned out this bit of humbling himself was only to make me win his little protégée's favor.

The next day I took half a day off on purpose and booked a full detail on the car.

I had them pull out the entire set of seats and clean the whole thing from top to bottom.

Looking at the car, good as new, I suddenly felt all of it was pointless.

Dirty was dirty.

So I might as well just get rid of it.

The used-car dealer saw right through how badly I wanted it gone, and pushed the price down brutally.

I didn't haggle. I just took it.

Once that was done, I hurried straight back to the office to finish the handover paperwork.

I'd barely stepped out the front doors when Samuel blocked my way.

I thought he'd ask about the transfer, but the moment he opened his mouth, every word was about Hope.

“Where's your car?”

I lowered my eyes and answered flatly, “In for servicing.”

His face darkened at once, his tone accusing. “Why didn't you say something ahead of time? Hope's waiting for me to drive her home. This throws everything off!”

“Samuel, we've already broken up.”

“Broken up? Renee, you were the one who threw yourself at me back then. Eight years together, we've done it every way there is, and now you want to break up with me? Who else is going to want you?”

I stared at him, unable to believe it.

I never knew the warm, sunny man he used to be could say something so vicious.

Seeing me frozen there without a word, maybe he realized what he'd just said had gone too far.

A flicker of panic crossed his face, and his tone softened a little.

“Renee, I'm not yelling at you. I promised Hope ahead of time I'd drive her, and it's really a hassle to suddenly have no car. Don't take it to heart. I'll drop her off tonight and come back early to be with you.”

He was always like this. Hope's business always came first.

It didn't matter anymore. I wasn't going to hold on to even a shred of hope where he was concerned.

I was leaving this city, and there was still a lot to pack anyway.

Looking at the gifts lined up neatly against the wall, the ones I'd prepared with my own hands for him to give his parents, I went blank.

The lock turned. Samuel really had come back earlier than usual.

Seeing me still cold, he took it that I was sulking at him, and instead let out a long breath of relief.

A flicker of smugness crossed his face as he calmly opened up his game.

He was certain I'd always give in for him, just like before.

Too bad this time the story wouldn't go the way he wanted.

“Samuel, we need to talk.”

4: 4

4

The man I'd cut off looked up, irritation all over his face.

He was about to say something when the couple's ringtone cut through the room.

Samuel didn't even think. He backed out of the game and picked up.

Eight years as his girlfriend, and I'd never once seen him look this tense.

As for that couple's ringtone, back in school I'd begged and coaxed for it for the longest time, and he'd always dragged his feet, calling it childish.

Yet now, for Hope, he'd changed it without a second thought.

On the other end, Hope's voice was on the edge of tears. "Samuel, my mom fell, she wants me to come home right away, but the holiday crowds are insane and I've got so much luggage, I can't carry it all alone, I really don't know what to do!"

"Hope, don't panic, I'm on my way. Leave the bags, don't touch them, I'll carry everything when I get there!"

He hung up and sprang off the couch.

Muttering the whole time.

"Something's happened at Hope's place. I can't leave her to handle it alone. You head back first tomorrow. Once I've seen her home safe, I'll come meet up with you."

The words came fast, his feet already moving.

As he passed me, his shoulder caught mine and knocked me hard to the floor.

My forehead struck the coffee table, blood running down my face, blurring my sight.

I called after him before I could stop myself.

"Samuel!"

But he didn't even turn his head, just tossed back one line as he rushed out.

"Whatever it is, we'll talk when I'm back!"

Wait again.

Eight years. I'd waited enough.

The door closed, and I calmly went back to packing, only then realizing how few of the things here were actually mine.

Eight years together, and Samuel had never given me a single decent thing. All I ever got was promise after promise, day after day.

Just as well. It made packing easy.

The gifts I'd prepared for Samuel were useless now, so I boxed them all up and gave them to my neighbor Paulette Chavez, who'd always looked out for me.

Paulette seemed to understand everything. She took my hand, her eyes full of ache for me.

"Renee, sweetheart, I've seen every bit of what you've swallowed. You came all this way alone, far from home, thinking he'd treat you right, and who could have known... ah, never mind, never mind. I'll take these, and from now on you live for yourself."

Tears in my eyes, I nodded hard.

I took one last look at the place I'd lived for six years, then lowered my head and stared at the hair tie on my wrist.

Samuel had given it to me himself, the day he agreed to be with me.

He'd said I was like a star, that I made him feel steady and safe.

I'd treasured it, worn it on my wrist every single day, never taking it off.

I slipped it off and dropped it into the trash.

His cheap love. I didn't want it anymore.