Chapter 2
I curled my fingers into a fist, more and more certain that every ounce of kindness I'd given had been thrown to the dogs.
It was only after we finished talking that Naomi surfaced in the group chat.
"Ellie, what did you post?"
"I was in an interview just now. I didn't see it."
But in that post from a moment ago, they were clearly sitting in an expensive Western restaurant, the mall behind them lit up bright as day.
Over the past year, Naomi had gone to no fewer than a hundred interviews.
Every single one ended in failure.
She'd lean against my shoulder and ask if I thought she was useless.
I'd comfort her, tell her the right chance would come along someday.
Only today did I understand that all of it was just the excuse she used to brush me off while she was out with Tristram.
The short break ended.
I put my phone away, and when I got back to the office, my manager called me over.
"That Southport project—you're the only one I trust to handle it."
"Two years. When it wraps, you come back with your salary tripled."
"Ellie, think it over."
I looked at the contract in front of me and didn't waste much time deliberating.
"I'll go."
An opportunity had landed at my feet at exactly the right moment. I had no reason to turn it down.
When I got off work, I didn't expect to see Tristram standing at the company entrance.
Naomi was there beside him.
Rain was coming down outside, and the two of them shared a single umbrella.
Tristram had the umbrella tilted entirely over Naomi's side, leaving his own shoulder half-soaked.
When he saw me, his eyes lit up.
"Ellie, over here."
I opened my umbrella and walked over. Tristram slipped underneath it like it was the most natural thing in the world.
He was too broad, and he crowded me halfway out from under it.
Naomi pressed her lips together, and something I couldn't quite name crept into the way she looked at me.
Like jealousy, and like hatred.
"What are you two doing here?"
Tristram turned, staring at me in surprise.
"It's your birthday and Naomi's today. Don't tell me you forgot."
I froze. I really had forgotten.
Two straight weeks of grinding around the clock had left me with no energy to spare for things like this.
He put his arm around me and steered me forward, while Naomi came up and hooked onto my other arm.
"I booked a restaurant. You're both going to love it, I promise."
We arrived, and it was a Sichuan restaurant.
The place was loud and crowded, and the thick wave of heat and spice rolling out at me made me sneeze.
Once we sat down, Naomi expertly ordered a few dishes, then slid the menu over to me.
I closed it and pushed it back.
"I can't handle spicy food these days."
She looked up at me, hurt, her eyes misting over.
"Ellie, did I do something recently to make you upset? Didn't you used to love spicy food?"
Tristram cut in before I could answer.
"Of course she didn't. She's just reading too much into things herself."
I took a sip of water and swallowed it down with the bitterness underneath.
"I said it in the group chat yesterday. You two just didn't care."
Three in the morning. I'd only just finished my overtime.
I said my stomach was aching, a dragging kind of pain, that I'd taken a pill and was about to sleep.
The two of them were in the group chat, giggling away about some game, saying the other one's skills were trash, cursing out how lousy their opponents were.
My message sat buried in their string of stickers, ignored by unspoken agreement.
Not one person asked a single thing.
Naomi's expression turned a little awkward, her fingernail scratching at the table.
Tristram saw the mood had soured and pulled out two gifts, sliding them in front of us.
"Go on, open them. I got you both the same brand, so it's completely fair and even."
My reaching hand stopped short.
In front of his girlfriend, he was talking to another girl about being fair.
Naomi opened her box and let out a delighted gasp, lifting out a bracelet to show Tristram.
Chapter 3
“Put it on me,” she said.
She draped her hand over his arm with practiced ease, her nails trailing along the inside of his forearm. It was an intimate gesture.
Naomi's skin had always been fair, and the bracelet only made it look creamier, more flawless.
Then Tristram reached over and opened the box in front of me.
“Let me put yours on too,” he said.
He picked up the earring inside and brought it toward my earlobe. Only up close did he realize I didn't have a single piercing.
His hand froze.
I looked at the earring pinched between his fingers. Such a tiny thing.
The bracelet, same brand, cost five times as much.
This was what Tristram called fair.
One look from him, and Naomi rose and clamped down on my hands.
“Ellie, hold still,” she said.
Tristram aimed the sharp post at my earlobe, as if he actually meant to force it straight through.
“I've seen other people pierce ears like this. I'll do it fast, it won't hurt, I promise.”
I thrashed like mad. “Let go of me!”
In the struggle, Tristram's grip slipped and the earring dropped, rolling off into a corner.
The place was packed, and it ended up kicked away somewhere no one could see.
I pushed back my chair and stood, my face burning red.
“You two eat. I'm leaving,” I said.
The dinner broke up on a sour note.
That night, lying in bed, I opened that shared-account post again.
Through her profile picture, I went to Naomi's page.
There were two shared accounts.
One was the three of us. The other was hers and Tristram's.
It was called Naomi & Tris Forever, and there was still thirty thousand left in it.
Tapping in, I could see every post she'd made.
While I was pulling day-and-night shifts at the company, run so ragged my feet barely touched the ground.
She and Tristram had gone to the amusement park together, seen the movie I'd wanted to see for ages, eaten at all kinds of restaurants.
Behind every expense, a photo of the two of them.
It was a full-blown relationship scrapbook.
When I scrolled to April twenty-fourth, there was an expense of fifty-two hundred.
The note said: Day One.
I remembered that day.
Because that was the day I collapsed at my desk, after four straight days on four hours of sleep.
When I came to in the ER, my first instinct was to call Tristram.
It rang and rang. No one picked up.
So I texted Naomi.
I waited forever. The message thread stayed empty.
So that day, with my money in their hands, they'd been busy celebrating Day One of something new.
Like some form of self-torture, I scrolled all the way to the bottom, tears sliding from the corners of my eyes into the pillow.
The next day was the weekend, and I started clearing out the things in my apartment.
I'd be leaving for Southport the following week. Time was tight.
To be closer to the company, I'd rented the place myself.
It was small, only big enough for one person.
It was crammed full of my things.
The toilet leaked, the walls were spotted with mold, and there wasn't even any air conditioning.
The one good thing was that the rent was cheap enough.
The first time Tristram and Naomi came over, they'd flatly refused to step inside, planting themselves at the door.
“What kind of dump is this? Fit for rats,” they'd said.
My hands had stilled over my things back then, and I'd gone red from my ears down my neck, hot with shame.
I opened the cabinet and dug out some of the old things.
The couple's outfit Tristram and I had bought, the embroidery on the chest faded now.
The ceramic mug Naomi and I had made together, a crack running along the bottom that I hadn't noticed until who knows when.
I found a big bag, packed all of it inside, tied it shut, and tossed it into the trash room.
The moment the bag left my hand, I felt lighter than I ever had.
Chapter 4
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
Along with the confirmation that my plane ticket had gone through came a message from my mother.
"Does Tristram know about you going to Southport?"
I typed with my head down.
"Not yet."
There was a pause on her end, then a location pin came through.
"Your dad and I set up a dinner with the Hensons tomorrow night. All of us together."
"Did you and Tristram have a fight? Whatever's going on between you two, work it out face to face. Don't bottle it up."
I agreed.
Everything had to come to an end sometime, and it had to be done in person.
When I got back, Naomi was standing at my door, a cake box in her hand.
The second I opened the door, she squeezed her way in behind me.
She set down what she was carrying and looked around the place.
"Why's it suddenly so empty in here?"
I tossed the last bit of clutter into the trash and didn't pour her a glass of water the way I usually did.
"Had some free time, so I cleaned up a little."
She opened the box on the table, revealing the cake inside.
Only half of it was left.
"You left in such a hurry yesterday, you never even got to try the cake."
The workmanship was rough. One look and you could tell it was homemade.
There was a crooked letter J written on top, and though the other half had been cut away, it wasn't hard to make out half of an S.
Naomi cut a slice and handed it to me.
"Go on, taste it. I baked it myself."
"Tristram said it was delicious."
I took a small bite. The frosting was so sweet it turned bitter.
Tristram had never touched sweets like this before. He always said they were for silly little girls, beneath a man of his taste.
In the silence, Naomi lowered her eyes, her voice trembling a little.
"Ellie, I'm pregnant."
It hit me like a hammer coming down hard, and my mind went blank.
The fork slipped from my hand and clattered into the plate.
I could barely keep my expression under control.
"Whose is it?"
Naomi buried her face in her hands, her voice muffled.
"My boyfriend's."
Cold-faced, I dumped the rest of the cake into the trash.
"When did you two get together? Why didn't you tell me right away?"
"I wanted to wait until things were more settled before saying anything. One thing led to another, and here we are."
She took my hand and pulled me down to sit beside her.
"Next time I'll get him to come out and eat with us, so you two can meet."
"Do you think…"
She hesitated.
"Should I keep the baby?"
I pulled my hand out of her grip. I had no idea what Naomi was getting at.
Coming to me, carrying Tristram's child, to ask that question. Was it a provocation, or was she trying to corner me?
"Something this big, you have to decide for yourself."
I said it openly enough, but a thread of bitterness leaked out of me, beyond my control.
Naomi gave a small laugh.
"You're right. I'm just impatient, that's all. I wanted to hear what you thought."
"But I have a feeling I'll have my answer by tonight."
The door shut behind her, and I threw myself back onto the bed.
I closed my eyes, and everything from the past few days flickered through my mind.
That evening, I went to the restaurant at the appointed time.
The elevator doors slid shut, showing my face in the mirror, drawn and tired in a way no makeup could hide.
When I walked into the private room, Mr. and Mrs. Swanson Henson were already seated inside.
I greeted each of them.
Mrs. Henson glanced at me and lifted her chin slightly, which passed for a response.
When her eyes landed on my clothes, washed pale from too many cycles, she frowned.
"Tristram mentioned your salary isn't very high. Now that I see you today, I can tell it's true."
"Can't even afford a single decent outfit."
She turned her wrist, letting the jade bracelet on it slip into view as if by accident.